I don't want my "cross"

[Yeoman]

I’m not trying to renounce Christ or anything but tons of people on this planet (I assume) have found what I’m seeking regarding minimal suffering.

No, they haven’t.

Given my own position in life, in which I can observe plenty of other people (and myself) I very well know that there isn’t a single person on Earth who is not burdened with something. The concept that others are free from burden is purely illusory.

You may not be able to see their crosses, but they are surely there. People who seem to have happy jobs and happy lives may hate that job and go home to a spouse who is troubled. Some people seem to be cruising through life but in reality are suffering from addictions or depression or illness. It’s universal.

But, the oddity of all of that is, the happiest people are those who accept their cross and keep on keeping on. The most miserable people are those who reject their cross and surrender to their temptations.

 

[Wesrock]

We get to put our crosses down at death. After a few decades with suffering, we, if we persevered, get an eternity of goodness and bliss with God. God does not expect you to carry it forever, just during this life.

Jesus didn’t come to make us carry crosses, but so that God could carry a cross with us and be an example of how we should bear our crosses.

Anyway, I know what you mean. A break would of course be nice. Just consider it a chance to develop some character before an eternity of happiness.

 

[Yeoman]

I should add that I hope my comment does not come across as harsh. I do not mean for it to be.

I know very well what my cross(es) are and I’d like to lay it(them) down. My choices seem to be carry, or give in, so I seek to carry. I’d prefer not to have them. I pray to be relieved of one all the time.

But as I do have them, carry I must.

And all, it seems, are in that situation.

One seemingly joyful person I know well is burdened at home with angst of a family nature. At least two people I know are burdened with strong attractions they struggle against, but you’d not know it if you did not know them very well. And so it is, undoubtedly, for everyone.

 

[EasterJoy]

I should add that I hope my comment does not come across as harsh. I do not mean for it to be.

I know very well what my cross(es) are and I’d like to lay it(them) down. My choices seem to be carry, or give in, so I seek to carry. I’d prefer not to have them. I pray to be relieved of one all the time.

But as I do have them, carry I must.

And all, it seems, are in that situation.

One seemingly joyful person I know well is burdened at home with angst of a family nature. At least two people I know are burdened with strong attractions they struggle against, but you’d not know it if you did not know them very well. And so it is, undoubtedly, for everyone.

This is an OK place to be:
When he arrived at the place he said to them, “Pray that you may not undergo the test.” After withdrawing about a stone’s throw from them and kneeling, he prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” (Luke 22:40-41)

That, and do not forget to give thanks and praise for all the good things you have been given. It does not do to complain about crosses without ever giving thanks for the many good gifts you have been given. I was told once that the best way to confront the temptation to lose heart is to give thanks and praise. The evil one does not want to tempt you to give up, if that is the way you respond. However it works, I’ve found there is much truth to that.

 

[john81]

Sadly baby Jesus I don’t want my “crosses”. Being a saint sounds cool and all but I kind of just want to live a mellow stress free life…then die.

Anyone else feel what I’m saying? I’m not trying to renounce Christ or anything but tons of people on this planet (I assume) have found what I’m seeking regarding minimal suffering. So why can’t I get the same? Why does God keep throwing me in the lions den? I understand I’m good at killing them and all but when is he gonna let me sit by the fire place…read a book…And be done with it?

I just wanna work a cushy stress free job, have plenty of time to my self…make lots of love…and peruse my passions? Is that too much to ask?

I don’t think your that different than all of us. Who DOES want their cross? If you wanted it, then I don’t think it’d be much of a cross. God only gives us what we can handle, and no more (“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”). Yet he does not abandon (“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest”). I think meditating on this, and on what St. Francis de Sales said, will help your struggles, “The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day. Either he will shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings.”

Rest assured, if you persist in avoiding any and all crosses, God will stop sending them. However, after you die, you will look back on how short this life was and wish you’d done the “little work” that he gave you to do.

God bless!

 

[EasterJoy]

…Rest assured, if you persist in avoiding any and all crosses, God will stop sending them…

It does not work that way.

Life is hard. You can choose to go through it in a way that will bear fruit, you can go through life in a way that will be fruitless, but no one is guaranteed an easy life free of obstacles or pain.

Although God may choose to offer protection or not, depending on God’s plan, God does not send us evils. God guides us through an evil and disobedient world, a world seeking to find a way that allows beings in rebellion from God to be happy in spite of their immersion in unreality, and does it in a way that will both transform us into beings like Himself and bring other poor souls like ours to redemption.

There is no other alternative reality. There is becoming like God, filled with the grace of God and obedient to God, and there is an existence robbed of life, alone with our miserable and foolish selves. That’s it: some combination of those two in this life and ultimately–eventually!–one and one of those two alone for eternity. The idea that there is some other third option out there is a lie, an unreality. That’s all there is to it.

As one writer put it (to paraphrase): Obedience to God is the fulfillment of our deepest needs and desires, and if that is not the Good News, don’t you realize that there can be no Good News?

 

[styrgwillidar]

This is an OK place to be:
When he arrived at the place he said to them, “Pray that you may not undergo the test.” After withdrawing about a stone’s throw from them and kneeling, he prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” (Luke 22:40-41)

That, and do not forget to give thanks and praise for all the good things you have been given. It does not do to complain about crosses without ever giving thanks for the many good gifts you have been given. I was told once that the best way to confront the temptation to lose heart is to give thanks and praise. The evil one does not want to tempt you to give up, if that is the way you respond. However it works, I’ve found there is much truth to that.

Good post, kind of beat me to it.

Polluted,

You’re in good company, Christ didn’t want His cross either.

It isn’t about this life, it is about the next and will you choose to love God with all your heart and all your soul. Love is a choice, often it is the hard choice, not the easy one.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Sadly baby Jesus I don’t want my “crosses”. Being a saint sounds cool and all but I kind of just want to live a mellow stress free life…then die.

Anyone else feel what I’m saying? I’m not trying to renounce Christ or anything but tons of people on this planet (I assume) have found what I’m seeking regarding minimal suffering. So why can’t I get the same? Why does God keep throwing me in the lions den? I understand I’m good at killing them and all but when is he gonna let me sit by the fire place…read a book…And be done with it?

I just wanna work a cushy stress free job, have plenty of time to my self…make lots of love…and peruse my passions? Is that too much to ask?

You and everyone else buddy.

 

[redbetta]

OP, you could think of it this way: without struggle and conflict in life, there can be no adventure. Also, there could be no virtues because there would be nothing to exercise our character muscles.

I remember In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis had a great analogy about we on Earth are rebels in enemy occupied territory. Reading those lines are a good way to get one pumped.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Jesus prayed and begged … He did not want His cross, either.

 

[Elena321]

The everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His holy Name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.
-St Francis de Sales

Me personally,I don’t like such “sentimental” interpretations of crosses.
This is an extreme example,but did God give the victims of Psychopaths (rape,torture) a cross that He weighed to be not “one ounce too heavy” for the victim?

I don’t know if the OP feels the same,but I find it hard to distinguish the line between actions being caused due to people’s/worlds fallen/sinful nature vs being a cross from a God?

For example,just say a young man/woman goes to the hospital thinking they have a stroke and the doctors wilfully ignore/dismiss them due to not believing this would happen to young persons and state they just have a normal headache or anxiety etc.
The young man/woman tells the doctors strongly they believe they are having a stroke/mini stroke but the doctors arrogantly dismiss them as knowing nothing as they arn’t medically qualified.
But the man/woman turns out to really truly be having a stroke and due to it not being treated within a good timeframe ends up with lifelong physical,cognitive and personality changes.
Is this life long “cross” a cross from God or is it due to mans (the doctors) sin/arrogance?
Is it still from God because God knew all this would happen and “allowed” it?

Where does one end and the other begin (if that makes sense).

Some people make the distinction of Gods desire will vs Gods permissive will but ultimately arn’t both still part of a Gods plan because He allowed it?

 

[Blue_Rose]

Me personally,I don’t like such “sentimental” interpretations of crosses.
This is an extreme example,but did God give the victims of Psychopaths (rape,torture) a cross that He weighed to be not “one ounce too heavy” for the victim?

I don’t know if the OP feels the same,but I find it hard to distinguish the line between actions being caused due to people’s/worlds fallen/sinful nature vs being a cross from a God?

For example,just say a young man/woman goes to the hospital thinking they have a stroke and the doctors wilfully ignore/dismiss them due to not believing this would happen to young persons and state they just have a normal headache or anxiety etc.
The young man/woman tells the doctors strongly they believe they are having a stroke/mini stroke but the doctors arrogantly dismiss them as knowing nothing as they arn’t medically qualified.
But the man/woman turns out to really truly be having a stroke and due to it not being treated within a good timeframe ends up with lifelong physical,cognitive and personality changes.
Is this life long “cross” a cross from God or is it due to mans (the doctors) sin/arrogance?
Is it still from God because God knew all this would happen and “allowed” it?

Where does one end and the other begin (if that makes sense).

Some people make the distinction of Gods desire will vs Gods permissive will but ultimately arn’t both still part of a Gods plan because He allowed it?

No, Why would you think the evil actions of man are part of his ‘plan?’

 

[Allegra]

Maybe what you need is the monastic life? If you don’t mind a very simple existence, it would be easier to have less stress. Of course, you would have to live on your basic needs and forgo most of the things people think are necessary and you would probably experience significant isolation as well, but you would have less stress.

 

[AdamP88]

Sadly baby Jesus I don’t want my “crosses”. Being a saint sounds cool and all but I kind of just want to live a mellow stress free life…then die.

Anyone else feel what I’m saying? I’m not trying to renounce Christ or anything but tons of people on this planet (I assume) have found what I’m seeking regarding minimal suffering. So why can’t I get the same? Why does God keep throwing me in the lions den? I understand I’m good at killing them and all but when is he gonna let me sit by the fire place…read a book…And be done with it?

I just wanna work a cushy stress free job, have plenty of time to my self…make lots of love…and peruse my passions? Is that too much to ask?

Yes. Life will never be like this all the time. Stuff happens. Perhaps you should consider the quote GK Chesterton Quote below

 

[3DOCTORS]

Beautiful:thumbsup:

But sometimes I just wish I could be lazy and have a cushy ride to my grave. Free of conflict, free of struggle, free of dispair. Just a smooth slide into the coffin only to be welcomed into a blissful eternity.

Man that sounds awesome

I don’t know what to tell you. Other posters have said the usual things. I sense - correct me if I’m wrong - that your wish comes out of some deep suffering, perhaps prolonged to the point of burnout. Or confusion. Or both and other things besides.

It’s sometimes difficult to wrap our minds around how this world, and our physical lives, can be both so beautiful as a clear crisp night sky full of stars, or a warm day with the colorful leaves changing, a loving embrace, a good meal, anything that we enjoy - and yet also contain suffering and pain we feel we cannot bear one minute longer. I was recently in the hospital and spent some sleepless time praying really hard to not give in to despair, to stay faithful.

I believe that with what is happening in the world, persecution and martyrdom may be asked of some of us Catholics, and I don’t want to be one who wimps out if I am facing it. If I am to be strong when put to the test, I must accept those testing times now as opportunities to build my resolve, with God’s help.

Maybe it won’t come to that. But we don’t know what other trials lie just around the corner. You could achieve that cushy life - and then get hit by a bus and be in ICU - what then? Maybe the best I can offer you at this point is to try not to obsess on the whole matter, to occupy your mind with different things. Do some physical activity when the mental squirrels start running on their treadmill. Allow yourself to acknowledge you have the desire for a soft life - but then set that aside and get busy with something else. I’ll pray for you and I hope things get better. Take care.

 

[Elena321]

No, Why would you think the evil actions of man are part of his ‘plan?’

I guess because I was taught that nothing could happen without God permission.
For example with Job,Satan had to get Gods “ok” to strike Job with that illness etc.

 

[MarkInOregon]

Sadly baby Jesus I don’t want my “crosses”. Being a saint sounds cool and all but I kind of just want to live a mellow stress free life…then die.

Anyone else feel what I’m saying? I’m not trying to renounce Christ or anything but tons of people on this planet (I assume) have found what I’m seeking regarding minimal suffering. So why can’t I get the same? Why does God keep throwing me in the lions den? I understand I’m good at killing them and all but when is he gonna let me sit by the fire place…read a book…And be done with it?

I just wanna work a cushy stress free job, have plenty of time to my self…make lots of love…and peruse my passions? Is that too much to ask?

First lets clarify something–a saint is just someone who is in heaven–everyone who is in heaven is a saint. If you’re not a saint you’ll find yourself somewhere you do not wish to be. So we all should desire to be saints because the alternative is hell.

I don’t know anyone who lives a mellow stress free life, nor have I ever know such a person. Simply living involves some stress. I’ve know some people who for a time appeared to live such a life, but everyone at times finds themselves in times of trouble and stress when things don’t go as they’d wish.

Few people, if any have found, what you say you are seeking.

I don’t know if a cushy stress free job exists (even my low key jobs during college involved minimal stress), but I do know that if such a job exists–it’s not going to allow you to “make tons” and “have plenty of time to yourself.” You might have time, but certainly not “tons” to do anything with–most likely you’ll have the stress of just trying to feed, clothe and shelter yourself.

If you work hard, save and invest well you may find yourself at a point in life when you can retire early and enjoy your passions–but you will have had stress getting there, you will have sacrificed current time & pleasure for future time & pleasure, and you will still have stress–it will just be a different stress.

I suggest reading the accounts of early Christians lives–you will see that they had a peace and joy amidst the trials and struggles of life–I think that may be what you are really seeking, and it is what your faith, if you embrace it, should give you. Maybe investigate divine mercy and trusting in Jesus. God has been trying to get us to trust him since the fall–do you trust him?

Do you want to be a follower of Christ or a follower of the world? The gospel would seem to indicate that following Christ requires something of us–things like loving God above all else, like loving our neighbor as ourself, like feeding the poor, etc., etc., etc. I don’t see sitting around in luxury enjoying my passions in the Gospel message. You say of your desire–“Is that too much to ask?” My question to you is do you think God is asking too much of you? It seems you want all the benefits without the work required to obtain those benefits.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[therese1998]

So, OP, what are you looking for?

Are you asking for us to jump in with impassioned speech about the infinite good that God can bring through the suffering caused by others? Well, you have quite a few pages of that here.

Are you asking for us to defend God against your claim that He allows suffering? Check…you have that too.

Are you asking for someone to say “Oh, sure, it’s okay to be lazy and luke-warm”? Most people who are striving to be faithful to our Lord are not going to agree with you on that one; it goes with the territory of being around people who wish to be as faithful to the Lord’s calling as possible.

Or are you just saying that you are wishing you could put your cross down and never pick it up again? Ok. Yeah. Me too. But I’m also an adult and I know it ain’t gonna happen. Take a breather if you need to, dust yourself off, stretch and carry on.

 

[3DOCTORS]

OP, how’s it going? Are things getting any better? Hope so. Hang in there and let us know, okay?

 

[SuperHappy]

Great thread…the only thing I can say is that life simply isn’t that way. It isn’t fair and it isn’t easy but it is worth it. Keep your chin up and realize that everything changes. And you can work to change things for your own betterment.

Pray and ask God to remove things from your life that don’t lead you toward his plan for you. Look for ways you can avoid problematic situations. Sometimes you have to learn how to keep toxic people or relations at a distance. You must protect your own peace and calmness yourself.

As for just having an easy life like the “reality shows” and social media portray, those aren’t real. Every single person struggles. Every person wants things to be easy. Remind yourself when you see or compare your life to other people’s lives that you are only seeing the portion they are allowing you to see. I think the way we are bombarded daily with everyone’s “perfect” IG pics and FB posts tends to make us feel the way you do.

Prayer going up.