I don't want to be a trophy wife

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runwaymodel

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Hello friends!
I guess I am seeking more prayers and gentle guidance. Dating is very hard as it is (for anyone!) let alone a vapid city like Los Angeles. You would think having a pretty face would make things easier, and in some ways it does I suppose, but it also adds another level of difficulty. I’m finding it hard to seek a suitable partner. Either men just want you as a trophy wife, are freaks, or aren’t Christian. They call it HollyWEIRD for a reason. I don’t want to be a trophy, there are plenty of other girls who have nothing else to offer who would happily take my place. I want an equal.

Being a moralistic Catholic girl doesn’t make things easier. I think some men see it as a challenge. As if they really can’t believe that I go to Church every Sunday, openly praise God, come from a good family, don’t do drugs, am actually kind and compassionate…basically the opposite of what someone in this industry should be or do. And they try to test those boundaries or make me ridiculous lucrative “offers” and gifts. As if you could buy off morals that easily…it’s very frustrating. But I’m trying to remain optimistic.

I just really want to settle down but I refuse to settle. So while I am very comfortable being alone I obviously want to start a family someday. I just don’t know if my expectations are too high. The men that do meet all my requirements, are respectful and actually admire my brain and not my beauty, have all surprisingly been divorced (I learned that after we had gone on some dates). And I refuse to date anyone in the industry because the vast majority are delusional and/or on drugs. It’s sad but true.

Anyway, I could really use some prayers. To strengthen my resolve. I feel kind of selfish praying for myself and to find love because life has always been very kind to me.
Bless you all.
 
Be assured of my prayers. I would not settle either and will not give in to taking just “anyone”.
 
Got to go where the men you might be interested in are. Don’t like the men in the industry you’re in, then find a different place to look for men. Prayer is a good start, but only a start, it still needs action on your part to help God put an appropriate man in your path. God isn’t going to send one to your front door if you stay shut in, that’s not how prayer works.

No one is perfect. Only Jesus could claim that, the rest of us are broken and fallen, have to go to Confession. Many women only look at the top men and think they deserve one of those, but never look at the ordinary man sitting a couple of rows away at Mass. I know something about that, I am one of those. Many men look at the current marriage, divorce and family law environment, or they might have grown up in it, then they don’t want any part of that. I know something about that too and I can understand why some men might feel that way. Something else you may have to overcome when you do meet someone you’re interested in.

But I can assure you that men do exist who are worth your interest. They’re just harder to find now, but they’re around somewhere. Good luck and God bless, I wish you well.
 
If you ever feel like coming up to Seattle, I’ll take you out and promise it won’t be for a trophy wife 🙂
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
Got to go where the men you might be interested in are. Don’t like the men in the industry you’re in, then find a different place to look for men. Prayer is a good start, but only a start, it still needs action on your part to help God put an appropriate man in your path. God isn’t going to send one to your front door if you stay shut in, that’s not how prayer works.

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👍

As much as I understand where you are coming from, I also think you don’t understand the part you play in all of this. With all due respect, the name ‘runwaymodel’ does not give the impression of a woman who wants a good catholic marriage but a woman who prides herself on her beauty. At some point to attract the right kind of men, you need to put out the right kind of image
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
Got to go where the men you might be interested in are. Don’t like the men in the industry you’re in, then find a different place to look for men. Prayer is a good start, but only a start, it still needs action on your part to help God put an appropriate man in your path. God isn’t going to send one to your front door if you stay shut in, that’s not how prayer works.

No one is perfect. Only Jesus could claim that, the rest of us are broken and fallen, have to go to Confession. Many women only look at the top men and think they deserve one of those, but never look at the ordinary man sitting a couple of rows away at Mass. I know something about that, I am one of those. Many men look at the current marriage, divorce and family law environment, or they might have grown up in it, then they don’t want any part of that. I know something about that too and I can understand why some men might feel that way. Something else you may have to overcome when you do meet someone you’re interested in.

But I can assure you that men do exist who are worth your interest. They’re just harder to find now, but they’re around somewhere. Good luck and God bless, I wish you well.
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I agree. God helps those who help themselves. But it’s not like I’m sitting back and not dating, or meeting these people at nightclubs. I get setup with a matchmaker or via introductions or something’s a random encounter while I’m out.
It’s just really hard to date in LA. The individuals here are of a different caliber which can be great, there’s a variety of abundance for sure, but I have found that a lot of people don’t place high enough value on faith and morals. As long as they can flaunt you like a peacock, that’s what matters. Not all people. I have met wonderfully decent men but nothing that has had long term potential. And I understand I’m not perfect either.
People here are “spiritual but not religious” or into weird Scientology or atheists. While I don’t have issues having these people as friends or acquaintances, I refuse to settle for a man who isn’t a Christian or respects my values without criticizing my faith. That just cannot work.

I’m just venting…but thank you for the prayers. :o
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
Got to go where the men you might be interested in are. Don’t like the men in the industry you’re in, then find a different place to look for men. Prayer is a good start, but only a start, it still needs action on your part to help God put an appropriate man in your path. God isn’t going to send one to your front door if you stay shut in, that’s not how prayer works.

No one is perfect. Only Jesus could claim that, the rest of us are broken and fallen, have to go to Confession. Many women only look at the top men and think they deserve one of those, but never look at the ordinary man sitting a couple of rows away at Mass. I know something about that, I am one of those. Many men look at the current marriage, divorce and family law environment, or they might have grown up in it, then they don’t want any part of that. I know something about that too and I can understand why some men might feel that way. Something else you may have to overcome when you do meet someone you’re interested in.

But I can assure you that men do exist who are worth your interest. They’re just harder to find now, but they’re around somewhere. Good luck and God bless, I wish you well.
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Amen bro! My thoughts exactly. I was in that same situation until I gave up. Didn’t bother pursuing my now wife because I was tired of being treated like garbage when I stuck my neck out for a girl. My now wife had to do the pursuing and when things finally came out she exploded about “how hard being the pursuer is.” I simply looked at her and said “welcome to what men have been doing for ages…now you can appreciate it.” Needless to say, everything worked out fine and we don’t have any major issues with a traditional marriage.
 
runwaymodel said:
Hello friends!
I guess I am seeking more prayers and gentle guidance. Dating is very hard as it is (for anyone!) let alone a vapid city like Los Angeles. You would think having a pretty face would make things easier, and in some ways it does I suppose, but it also adds another level of difficulty. I’m finding it hard to seek a suitable partner. Either men just want you as a trophy wife, are freaks, or aren’t Christian. They call it HollyWEIRD for a reason. I don’t want to be a trophy, there are plenty of other girls who have nothing else to offer who would happily take my place. I want an equal.

Being a moralistic Catholic girl doesn’t make things easier. I think some men see it as a challenge. As if they really can’t believe that I go to Church every Sunday, openly praise God, come from a good family, don’t do drugs, am actually kind and compassionate…basically the opposite of what someone in this industry should be or do. And they try to test those boundaries or make me ridiculous lucrative “offers” and gifts. As if you could buy off morals that easily…it’s very frustrating. But I’m trying to remain optimistic.

I just really want to settle down but I refuse to settle. So while I am very comfortable being alone I obviously want to start a family someday. I just don’t know if my expectations are too high. The men that do meet all my requirements, are respectful and actually admire my brain and not my beauty, have all surprisingly been divorced (I learned that after we had gone on some dates). And I refuse to date anyone in the industry because the vast majority are delusional and/or on drugs. It’s sad but true.

Anyway, I could really use some prayers. To strengthen my resolve. I feel kind of selfish praying for myself and to find love because life has always been very kind to me.
Bless you all.
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Praying for your intentions.
 
runwaymodel said:
Hello friends!
I guess I am seeking more prayers and gentle guidance. Dating is very hard as it is (for anyone!) let alone a vapid city like Los Angeles.
Bless you all.
Click to expand...
You are not being selfish. By your own words you are living in a cesspool. You can’t catch a fish or a husband in a toilet. You will keep meeting lowlifes if you remain in lowlife territory. You are in an environment where the value of a woman is her face and body. They are objects if pleasure to be used. It is unreasonable of you to think people in that world will look at you for anything else. Nothing is going to change for you until you change your environment unless Mr. Wonderful shows up at Mass.
 
Anglewannabe said:
👍

As much as I understand where you are coming from, I also think you don’t understand the part you play in all of this. With all due respect, the name ‘runwaymodel’ does not give the impression of a woman who wants a good catholic marriage but a woman who prides herself on her beauty. At some point to attract the right kind of men, you need to put out the right kind of image
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I don’t think my handle name chosen from years ago represents anything vapid. It IS what I do. If I had chosen ‘pomeranianlover’ or ‘blondie’ would that really discourage people from thinking I’m a good a Catholic and attract the wrong people? That’s a little close minded, IMO.
And for the record, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking pride in your appearance. Nothing at all. I’m not arrogant nor do I feel superior to anyone. It would only be wrong if that was my primary focus, and it’s certainly not.
 
runwaymodel said:
I don’t think my handle name chosen from years ago represents anything vapid. It IS what I do. If I had chosen ‘pomeranianlover’ or ‘blondie’ would that really discourage people from thinking I’m a good a Catholic and attract the wrong people? That’s a little close minded, IMO.
And for the record, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking pride in your appearance. Nothing at all. I’m not arrogant nor do I feel superior to anyone. It would only be wrong if that was my primary focus, and it’s certainly not.
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🙂 I was just going to point that out— it’s a job description, not a high-minded way to describe oneself! In my opinion, I agree with the person who suggested online dating; it’s a far from perfect system, but at least if you sign up on a Catholic site, you can ensure that you have a relative plethora of Catholic guys to choose from. I’ll pray for you, I know it can be tough out there!
 
And the Catholic dating sites allow you to say what you agree with as far as Church teaching goes so you can weed out some people quite easily.
 
Too bad I’m already married. My wife calls me her trophy husband. 😛

But seriously–I’ve never been to LA but everything I hear about it is basically that same cliche. It’s weird, it’s too different, it’s shallow…

This might be a stupid question: Have you thought about moving to a different city?

And, is LA/Hollywood really that bad?

Do you belong to a parish? Are you active there? Maybe you can make connections through people there, whose judgement you trust.

(just as an aside–my wife’s cousin went to LA and realized she wasn’t “beautiful” enough to compete for the guys, so she became a lesbian. Or so the story goes. I posted a while ago about her gay wedding plans.)
 
on_the_hill said:
Too bad I’m already married. My wife calls me her trophy husband. 😛

But seriously–I’ve never been to LA but everything I hear about it is basically that same cliche. It’s weird, it’s too different, it’s shallow…

This might be a stupid question: Have you thought about moving to a different city?

And, is LA/Hollywood really that bad?

Do you belong to a parish? Are you active there? Maybe you can make connections through people there, whose judgement you trust.

(just as an aside–my wife’s cousin went to LA and realized she wasn’t “beautiful” enough to compete for the guys, so she became a lesbian. Or so the story goes. I posted a while ago about her gay wedding plans.)
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Los Angeles isn’t all that bad. It has many beautiful qualities. Just the people tend to be flakey or fake or have these delusional egos. Not everyone but it’s definitely different compared to the rest of the country.
I have considered moving somewhere else, but I truly do love Southern California and given my profession, it benefits me to stay here. Now if I did find someone who wanted to move elsewhere after we were married, I would be completely open–although not a small town. I don’t think I would be happy at all there.

So I do paint a harsh picture on LA but only when comparing the people here in contrast to other cities where individuals are actually hospitable and more reliable (from my experience).

Yes, I am involved in my Church and volunteer quite a bit. One of the Sisters actually has my number and email and doesn’t hesitate in letting me know when she needs help or volunteers, which is often. That is one of the great perks of having a flexible job and downtime. So yes, my parish is wonderful and it feels like a retreat every Sunday seeing the familiar faces. I love it.
 
My 15 year old daughter wants to move to Southern California. We live in Pennsylvania. I kinda hope she changes her mind.

As for small towns–you probably don’t want one of those, either. My wife is from a small town. Not the best environment to live in, or raise a family in.
 
runwaymodel said:
Hello friends!
I guess I am seeking more prayers and gentle guidance. Dating is very hard as it is (for anyone!) let alone a vapid city like Los Angeles. You would think having a pretty face would make things easier, and in some ways it does I suppose, but it also adds another level of difficulty. I’m finding it hard to seek a suitable partner. Either men just want you as a trophy wife, are freaks, or aren’t Christian. They call it HollyWEIRD for a reason. I don’t want to be a trophy, there are plenty of other girls who have nothing else to offer who would happily take my place. I want an equal.

Being a moralistic Catholic girl doesn’t make things easier. I think some men see it as a challenge. As if they really can’t believe that I go to Church every Sunday, openly praise God, come from a good family, don’t do drugs, am actually kind and compassionate…basically the opposite of what someone in this industry should be or do. And they try to test those boundaries or make me ridiculous lucrative “offers” and gifts. As if you could buy off morals that easily…it’s very frustrating. But I’m trying to remain optimistic.

I just really want to settle down but I refuse to settle. So while I am very comfortable being alone I obviously want to start a family someday. I just don’t know if my expectations are too high. The men that do meet all my requirements, are respectful and actually admire my brain and not my beauty, have all surprisingly been divorced (I learned that after we had gone on some dates). And I refuse to date anyone in the industry because the vast majority are delusional and/or on drugs. It’s sad but true.

Anyway, I could really use some prayers. To strengthen my resolve. I feel kind of selfish praying for myself and to find love because life has always been very kind to me.
Bless you all.
Click to expand...
I kind of find what your saying a little difficult to grasp because of the way I think. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen and looks means little to me. Brains, if you are intelligent is very attractive. But if you are an attractive woman you should not be hard on yourself. It’s the men you are running into. I’m 43 and have never dated. Have no reason too. It’s not a recreation. It should have a purpose. As you say it’s way too stressful and awkward I’m sure to do to “just have fun”. Unless you agree on that.My :twocents: worth.

God Bless

There is a saying in life “If you don’t expect too much you just might not be let down.”
Every wife, should be a trophy… But no in a dehumanizing way.

🙂
 
Praying for you.

The world needs beautiful people, both inside and out. You were given this gift to share God’s love, with people who necessarily don’t know about Him. I wish you the best of luck to find someone who loves you for who you are inside, and values your specialness. Perhaps you can also enlighten a few broken souls along the way.🙂
 
runwaymodel said:
Hello friends!
I guess I am seeking more prayers and gentle guidance. Dating is very hard as it is (for anyone!) let alone a vapid city like Los Angeles. You would think having a pretty face would make things easier, and in some ways it does I suppose, but it also adds another level of difficulty. I’m finding it hard to seek a suitable partner. Either men just want you as a trophy wife, are freaks, or aren’t Christian. They call it HollyWEIRD for a reason. I don’t want to be a trophy, there are plenty of other girls who have nothing else to offer who would happily take my place. I want an equal.

Being a moralistic Catholic girl doesn’t make things easier. I think some men see it as a challenge. As if they really can’t believe that I go to Church every Sunday, openly praise God, come from a good family, don’t do drugs, am actually kind and compassionate…basically the opposite of what someone in this industry should be or do. And they try to test those boundaries or make me ridiculous lucrative “offers” and gifts. As if you could buy off morals that easily…it’s very frustrating. But I’m trying to remain optimistic.

I just really want to settle down but I refuse to settle. So while I am very comfortable being alone I obviously want to start a family someday. I just don’t know if my expectations are too high. The men that do meet all my requirements, are respectful and actually admire my brain and not my beauty, have all surprisingly been divorced (I learned that after we had gone on some dates). **And I refuse to date anyone in the industry because the vast majority are delusional and/or on drugs. **It’s sad but true.

Anyway, I could really use some prayers. To strengthen my resolve. I feel kind of selfish praying for myself and to find love because life has always been very kind to me.
Bless you all.
Click to expand...
(Bolding mine). I’m going to be brutally honest. The way you talk about those around you does not make you sound like a devout catholic ready for a family. It kind of makes you sound like a shallow stereotype of a model. You paint people with a very broad brush and look down on them. “I refuse to date any man who does X for a living because a lot of people who do X are bad” does not sound like you are really looking at men for who they are on the inside, only what they can offer you. If the city as a whole is so “vapid” why do you choose to live amongst those people? You can’t really believe that you’re the best person in LA?

You don’t want people making assumptions about you based on your looks, so maybe stop making assumptions about other people.

And for what its worth, I’ve never met a woman who only had her looks to offer. I’ve met women who have been told that’s all they have to offer, and I’ve met women who believe it. But I’ve never met someone that it was true for, and I don’t think those women exist.

I don’t think that you’re attracting the wrong men because you’re pretty, I think you’re attracting the wrong men because of your attitude.
 
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