I dont want to have more children

[Ammi]

manilenya22:

is that NFP is okay and other forms of contraception is not.

NFP is not contraception.

But isnt NFP precisely to CONTROL conception?

Birth control (the spacing/planning of children) is not immoral. Contraception is an immoral means of birth control. Abstinence is not.

NFP is information. It isn’t an action or an inaction. The choice is whether to have sexual relations on any given day or to abstain. The sin comes when one chooses to engage in sex and attempt to sterilize the act. There is no sin in abstaining, if by mutual agreement.

This is wholesome, Catholic advice. It’s not what our human nature likes. It’s difficult, but rewarding. It avoids the yuckiness of unfaithfulness.

When both spouses trust God, in their actual relationship, this is what they will do.

Pray for His strength to have clean hearts, open to His ways.

 

[manilenya22]

But the reason for practicing NFP on days when you are infertile is precisely to avoid pregnancy is it not? Spacing children is done because you dont want children. Otherwise, why space children? Why cant EVERY act be for the sole purpose of having children then?

Anyway this is all moot to me. My choice seems to be either to abstain or basically have sex and risk getting pregnant again. NFP works best when the woman is regular, which I am not, so god help me.

 

[maryjk]

NFP works best for those that pay attention and keep track.

It really has nothing to do with regularity.

 

[1ke]

But the reason for practicing NFP on days when you are infertile is precisely to avoid pregnancy is it not?

You don’t actually “practice NFP”, you “practice abstinence”. And that isn’t immoral.

Spacing children is done because you dont want children. Otherwise, why space children?

Spacing is done not because you don’t “want” children, but because you have decided through discernment and prudential judgment that it would be best to postpone welcoming a child.

Why cant EVERY act be for the sole purpose of having children then?

Because marriage is ordered to both unity and procreation. The idea we can only have sex when we are actively trying to conceive is not Church teaching.

NFP works best when the woman is regular

This is not accurate.

What method of NFP did you train in in the past? Perhaps it is time to learn a different method and practice post ovulatory marital intimacy.

 

[Daisy]

People do NFP precisely to time their chances of conception. Which could be for OR against conception.

You are right, in a sense, it IS a type of birth control. People are taking control of their fertility. But the important difference between contraception and NFP is that NFP allows for the sexual act to retain its dignity. That is the concern. Using devices and medication to contradict the natural processes of sex are harmful to the health of the couple, both spiritually and physically.

If your cycle is irregular, you may need help, and again, I would refer you to outside help with the links I provided. But it looks like you didn’t follow the links. I don’t know if you came to Catholic Answers Forum simple to argue? And you make no mention of spirituality or God’s will. Only what is easy for you. “Easy” is not the best long-term solution for joy and eternal happiness.

 

[Anicette]

NFP works best when the woman is regular, which I am not, so god help me.

It does not work best or worst with irregularity or regularity. The rules stay approximately the same for each cycle.

What change is when a woman has regular cycles, she can take the “risk” to not observe daily properly and rely herself on a planned schedule. It is not properly NFP, but it work for some. It is easier for them.
The others women, or the women is some situation such as postpartum, have to be very careful and regular in their daily self-observation, which can be a burden for some, or in some situations.

 

[manilenya22]

I came here because I had nowhere else to turn to. My priest just basically said, sorry, you’re . . . out of luck! And I know better than to argue with the Catholic church anyway. I’m tired and sad and scared and no I dont simply want easy. I want realistic options, doable options, for human beings like myself. Thank you to those who gave me the links. I will check them out.

 

[Mike_from_NJ]

@manilenya22 I can’t provide you with any answer that will satisfy your physical and emotional needs while simultaneously satisfying your religious ones. I just want to let you know there are people out there rooting hard for you to find a solution that in the end you can be happy with. The absolute best of luck to you!