I don’t want to cantor at mass anymore. I have a background in music and am a good singer. I wouldn’t be crowned the next American Idol, but I can read music and carry a tune. Singing in mass is pure torture because the other singers and instrumentalists are so awful. It is hard not to be pulled off key and we are definitely not making beautiful music. From the perspective of sitting in the pews, I’d rather have no music than bad music. I don’t really buy into the notion that if you are singing for the Lord it is beautiful and it doesn’t matter how you sound. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t really want to tell anybody why, either, because I don’t want to hurt any feelings. Suggestions? Thoughts?
I strongly sympathize as the walrus said to the carpenter, this has been the situation in the majority of parishes we have attended for the last 40 years, and sadly still faced today. for me, for the most part, it is purgatory
I don’t know why we can instruct readers, altar servers, lay ministers in every other area that they must perform properly or not at all, but for some reason volunteer music people are considered too sensitive for any criticism whatever.
I love love love daily Mass where there is no singing
the solution is for those with the necessary skills and talents to volunteer, and those are the very people put off by the situation you describe. I know our pastor would love someone like you to take charge of a choir for one Mass, not just sing, but while plenty want to participate, nobody wants to lead. That is changing, at least for one Mass, and the group that came together ad hoc for confirmation were wonderful, I hope the change continues.
this is part of the wider problem (that is a condition of my employment) of how to fire volunteers, and is the most under utilized charisms exercised in the typical parish. When the parish as a whole adopts a mentality of discerning this and all other ministries with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the situation will begin to change, as entrenched people are removed–with kindness but firmness–and the new people the Holy Spirit is raising up are allowed to act.
The most effective way we have found, DH and I, in 40 years of paid and volunteer ministry, and now as a member of pastoral staff, is what we learned in the business world: create vice presidents. That is, promote people to a position of responsibility which is not critical to the mission of the organization but which does have potential to utilize their unique skills.
Example: were I the music director (and some parishes don’t have one, a mistake) I would invite those unwilling or unable to serve adequately in Mass choirs, to form a new group–a funeral choir, children’s choir, schola, bell choir–anything you can come up with. If it succeeds and is good enough to add to the rota sometimes, fine, if not, at least you have put their energy to good use, may even have attracted new volunteers, and made way for improvement in the existing choirs.
I do this in CCD all the time. I do not fire volunteers except for cause such as breaking rules, or teaching untruth. But I have in the past had to deal with entrenched people who refuse for instance to incorporate diocesan policy on sacramental preparation, or who prefer to teach an age group for which they are not suited or for which they no longer have the time and energy required. Usually simply by implementing necessary schedule and program changes such people simply quit, but for some, the solution has been to ask them to take on a new challenge. Actually some terrific things have resulted, and I find the person who is a dud with middle grades is the very person for a new adult class. Or I ask them to come up with a new plan for a group that is not being served at present, this has been particularly successful. I hate to see real talent and ability underused even more than I hate to see a project ruined for lack of knowledge and ability.
The point is we make such decisions, changes, appointments, requests, even disciplinary type discussions in the context of asking the Holy Spirit for guidance before, during and after the process.
A priest encouraged me to quit for the sake of my faith. I don’t yet have the guts to do so.
