I dunno what the title should be.

[Valke2]

Yes. it is possible for a marriage to survive without sex. It is also possible for a marriage to faile without it. I hope the annulement comes through for you soon and I’m sorry about your situation. If it is not too personal (it absolutely is too personal, but it you don’t mind answering it), what do you plan on doing if the annulement is denied?

 

[Cam-masta]

Masturbation is only a mortal sin if you have full will. For most men, it has been something they started when they were around 12 and have been fighting it since.

By definition it is NOT a mortal sin if they have a weakened will.

You do not want to place this concept in a person’s mind (male or female) that it IS a mortal sin if they have been doing it for 20 years now and if they DO NOT STOP immediately then the next time they do it they go to hell if they die without confession. This is not theologically in line with Catholic thought, it is not charitable, and it is not common sense.

If you HATE masturbation, and you are still a slave to it - in your will (which is what fundamentally counts), you have told God that you do not want to be here. It is an addiction. However, you can be addicted to it and LOVE it - therefore in your will you have consented. Your body may be addicted to something, but the faculty of the intellect, that which makes us in the likeness of God, will must also have consented to make it a mortal sin.

I will repeat, if you have not consented in your will - it is not a mortal sin; translation do you ENJOY what you are doing? If you could push a button to stop immediately, would you do it and rejoice? Do you HATE masturbation?

Matthew 26:41

God Bless you.

I stand corrected: CCC 1857 - "For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matterand which is also committed with full knowledgeand deliberate consent.” CCC 2352 - "By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” The Catechism goes on to say: “To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.” The Church acknowledges specific difficulties which requires moral support. It is still “an intrinsically and gravely disordered action”, but is not a mortal sin, unless there is “full knowledge and complete consent”, and taking into account the various psychological and social factors which can condition the habit.

 

[Mommyof02green]

" The Church acknowledges specific difficulties which requires moral support. It is still “an intrinsically and gravely disordered action”, but is not a mortal sin, unless there is “full knowledge and complete consent”, and taking into account the various psychological and social factors which can condition the habit.

Reading this reminded me of some of the things I have said early on in this thread:

Therefore, in Catholicism if a Catholic had FULL KNOWLEDGE that Masturbation IS GRAVE MATTER and DELIBRATELY and WILLFULLY masturbated they have committed a Mortal Sin and must go to confession.

and

Remember in order for something to be a Mortal Sin 3 things need to be in place:

1. Grave Matter
2. Full Knowledge
3. Deliberate and Willful consent.

Masturbation is Grave Matter. So it has 1 of the 3 things needed to make it a Mortal Sin. The only other things needed are Full Knowledge and Willful/Deliberate consent.

If you have all 3 things then you have a Mortal Sin!

Masturbation is Grave Matter, because it goes against the commandment “Thou shall not commit adultery”.

Grave matter is one of the 3 things need to make a “Mortal” sin. If you add the other two ingredients then you have “Mortal” sin.

With that being said, one should still try to avoid masturbation. Catholicism teaches that we should avoid the near occasions of sin. It takes a stronger will power then our own to avoid sin. It takes something outside us to avoid sin. It takes God. That’s why we should be submitting ourselves to God. That’s why we should turning to God for help.

 

[AlegreFe]

…It is also possible for a marriage to faile without it.

I agree. And in that case, the marriage wasn’t really a marriage to begin with; wouldn’t you agree? in some instances at least?

Valke2:

I hope the annulement comes through for you soon and I’m sorry about your situation. If it is not too personal (it absolutely is too personal, but it you don’t mind answering it), what do you plan on doing if the annulement is denied?

If it does not go through then I guess it is God’s will that I live a celibate life. I am only civilly married but do not intend to seek a civil divorce if it does not go through. There is no need for that because my husband and I are coping with this right now. Our prayer life is stronger… well it’s better said, “our prayer life now exists where it didn’t before.” We put Jesus Christ first in our marriage and we get along so much better now. So if this is God’s Will, then so be it. He’s the boss.

I don’t see that happening however. The circumstances in which he was married to his first wife (only wife in God’s eyes of course) were not very mature circumstances. I would give away too much information if I explain this. So trust me, I am almost positive that there annulment will be granted.

 

[AlegreFe]

Masturbation is Grave Matter, because it goes against the commandment “Thou shall not commit adultery”.

Amen. Not many people think that masturbation is “committing adultery” and that is pretty sad.

Mommyof02green:

Grave matter is one of the 3 things need to make a “Mortal” sin. If you add the other two ingredients then you have “Mortal” sin.

:yup:

Mommyof02green:

With that being said, one should still try to avoid masturbation. Catholicism teaches that we should avoid the near occasions of sin. It takes a stronger will power then our own to avoid sin. It takes something outside us to avoid sin. It takes God. That’s why we should be submitting ourselves to God. That’s why we should turning to God for help.

Absolutely, we should avoid masturbation. It is definitely a near occasion of sin if one doesn’t know that it is grave matter. Because once one starts, it will be hard to stop. And that is why I feel it wise to tell youngsters before they start that it is a mortal sin to masturbate. I made sure that my child, who is now 13 years old, knows that this is a mortal sin. I let my child know about this a few years ago. Nothing wrong with telling them before they get into their pre-teen years.

 

[Valke2]

How is masturbation adultry? Is your hand married???

 

[AlegreFe]

How is masturbation adultry? Is your hand married???

27 "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not
commit adultery.’
28 But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with
lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matt 5:27-28

More than likely, the reason one would masturbate is because they are thinking of another person as they are doing it.

Not only that, it is just a sin because it is not in God’s plan that one partakes in such a selfish act. It is not “life-giving” at all. You are giving yourself to no one when you masturbate.

Here is something for you to read. It’s long but very enlightening;

The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality

 

[Valke2]

ok, adultry of the mind. What if you are thinking about your wife?

 

[AlegreFe]

ok, adultry of the mind. What if you are thinking about your wife?

You are not open to life when you masturbate whether you are thinking about your wife or someone else. Masturbation is not in God’s plan for our sexuality. Did you click on the link and read some of that?

 

[Valke2]

You are not open to life when you masturbate whether you are thinking about your wife or someone else. Masturbation is not in God’s plan for our sexuality. Did you click on the link and read some of that?

I’m focusing on the issue of whether or not it is adultry. Not whether or not it is prohibited. Jews also agree it is prohibited.

 

[Janet_S]

Take the Lord’s name in vane? I don’t think that has happened AT ALL!!! Do you know what it is to do that?? OBVIOUSLY you don’t. (and it’s vane, not vein like the leg…)
It is not normal to feel guilty. He’ll probably get to Heaven before you.

I think you mean “Take the Lord’s name in vain.” (Vane is the word for a weather vane.)