Yeah, I worry about that all the time. I think about all the sacrifices I’ll have to make as a wife and mother, and I don’t think I’m a good enough person to do that.
I guess one thing we both have going for us is we admit that.
Well if you’ve got yourself a job, you’ll at least be one step ahead of me. I’m not even out of college yet.
Now, if you’re looking for a husband and kids as some kind of status symbols, or if you think marriage will “fix” you, or if you think God has to send you a husband to prove His love, you’re asking for trouble.
Oh I don’t know. Shouldn’t finding your soul mate have a very significant impact on your life? I’m personally guilty of thinking that finding the person I’m meant for might fix me in a way. If you were to describe my life, my belief in myself was like a grand city suddenly reduced to ground zero by a merciless air raid. It tires me just trying to defend what little is left with hardly a remaining ounce to rebuild it all.
I mean I’ve tried self-help books and programs (religious and secular), and still nothing. Neither of them helped how lonely, insecure, and hated I felt all the time.
I just can’t see how much longer I can go on in my life being my personal cheerleader when everything worth cheering for has been reduced to utter worthlessness. >:\
God created sex for the purpose of procreation and created it moreover to be expressed most properly in marriage, and it is so holy it is in fact a sacrament between two baptized persons, blessed with the actual presence and grace of Christ, so repeat, why is it not holy to desire it?
I think it’s because there are some people (even on these threads and in this day and age) who become so zealous in promoting purity they make it as if people should never think of sex
at all. To them, it’s just a way to make babies and not the ultimate way a couple can express their love. I think in medieval times they even made all sorts of crazy “chastity” devices for married couples to prevent them from enjoying sex too much and just make sure the woman bears an heir and such. :\
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I fell in love with a person that was raised by such people? (And if you knew the things I looked for in a spouse, it’s not as impossible as you think.) I cannot help but feel amused at the thought of how clueless that girl might be on our wedding night while I (despite being unwillingly exposed to sexual depravity) have at least a fair idea of how to make it the best for her.
Wait wait wait… high sex drive is holy!!! Then I’m a saint! Lol!
Me too!
I know rite? Could it be that the perverse imp in my head (with his 2D complex and uniform fetishism) be an angel instead? I’ve been giving him
God of War style beatings for years! D8
Lord forgive me! DX
p
)
Perhaps it is the sex aspect. It feels sinful to want that, or to pray for that.
Even though, by praying for a husband and children, I’m actually praying for a lot more than that.
I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel right. The really crazy thing is, I can admit to people on an internet forum that I would like to have sex, but I can’t admit that to God. Which is completely insane, since He already knows that anyway, and He made me like this. But, nevertheless, here we are.
I can understand the difficulty in your situation (even though I’ve pretty much resigned in a way that I don’t combat sexual thoughts as a saint does). These days it just seems impossible to strike a balance between appreciating sex as an expression of love between married couples and abstaining from sexual thoughts while single (or worse, while still dating).
I think satan really was clever in splitting the treatment of the topic of sex into two extremes. If it’s not seen through the corrupt eyes of perverts, it gets scorned by the eyes of prudes.
Now that I’m older, intellectually I can see the flaws in my reasoning, and what I started to believe. But it’s still hard to overcome the old ways of thinking.