I feel guilty....

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LydiaW

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…that I don’t have the courage to do simple catholic things. Last year I realized after many years of being lost, that I needed to be a christian again. I also realized that I wanted to be like my Mom’s catholic family members. They are always so loving and such devout people, that I wanted to experience this joy. So, I decided to become Catholic, and it has been a bumpy road since then. My mother used to be Catholic, but she converted to being non-denominational, and now she is convinced somehow that being Catholic is wrong or evil. Anyhow, I haven’t had the courage as time progresses in my catholic education at my parish, to do simple catholic things. I do the sign of the cross when I am praying with them at the church, but when I am at home, fear strikes me, and I don’t do it around my family. When I go into church, I finally have gotten the courage to dip my fingers in the holy water by the door and do the sign of the cross over me, but I still am terrified to geneflunct ( I tried to spell it right), and I don’t know what to do when the priest announces his reading, and everyone does some kind of little thing over their faces. I haven’t learned so far what that is. Basically, I am filled with confusion. I want the courage to be catholic, and not be afraid of what the people around me think, but it is really hard, and I keep fearing that I am going to mess up…
 
Hi LydiaW,
Remember, God is not the God of fear. I am so pleased you are finding out the reasons we do those things we do. That movement before the gospel is a simple prayer. We trace the cross on our forehead meaning “Chris’ts words be on our minds”. We trace the cross on our lips meaning “Christ’s words be in our mouths”, and on our hearts, “Christ’s words be in our hearts”
There are several books to explain the motions available, perhaps “Why Do Catholics Genuflect?” by Al Kresta may help.
(It’s to show reverence).
Godspeed on your journey.
Lukelion
 
Hi Lydia. I understand what you are saying since I grew up as a Protestant myself. A lot of times all of that Catholic stuff just seems so unfamiliar. A lot of times you feel like you are on the outside looking in, and that maybe everyone who sees you knows you don’t belong. It might seem like that, but that’s really not the way it is. Whether or not you bless yourself with holy water, whether or not you know all of the right responses and gestures at mass, these are not things that other Catholics are going to notice. You can figure these things out and eventually they will become natural for you.

For starters, I would get a book that will answer all of those questions you think are too stupid to ask. I found The Complete Idiots Guide to Understanding Catholicism to be excellent for that. The nice thing is that you can find the answers to the questions you didn’t even know to ask.

The other thing is repetition is very important. The more you go to mass, the more comfortable, natural, and uplifting it will become to you. Soon you will not only know all of the resonses, you will anticipate them. It will happen.

You have to develop good habits. Going to mass regularly, like you are supposed to is a good one, but also develop good habits at home. Read the Bible. Reread the day’s readings and spend a little time contemplating how they have meaning in your life. Believe me, Scripture is Living Water, new meaning and inspiration from those ancient words is always bubbling to the surface and touching our lives daily. Pray the rosary. You will need a little guide at first. You can get one at a Catholic bookstore, or print out one you find on line. At first it will seem unnatural, and you won’t be sure why you are supposed to be doing it, but after a few weeks of praying the rosary daily or almost daily, it will all click. You will be able to do it any time any where, and you will love the peace and the blessings that our blessed mother will bring to you.

One other thing, learn about the saints. We are so blessed to be a part of the Communion of Saints. Know that you have friends in heaven who care about you and are encouraging you in your faith. You are never alone.

It will all come together. One day you’ll realize just how at home you are in the Catholic Church.
 
I have been trying to research the saints, and find a patron saint that fits me. I also have been trying to learn the rosary perfectly, but it’s another thing I am afraid to do.
I admit that I have missed mass several times , and so I shall try my hardest from now on to go every week!

I have been a little discouraged when I pray. Nothing that I ask for seems to happen. I feel abandoned sometimes, but I know that I must go through trials of patience.

I have been trying to read my bible daily, but I have let life interupt my reading.

I really want to lead a devout life, and do what the Lord wants.

I must admit that I get discouraged a lot when my family says something rude about my catholic faith. Then I feel like " why try?"

But then I keep realizing that God must have wanted me to do this, or I wouldn’t have felt led to do this.

I’m rambling…anyhow…thank you for the advice so far!
 
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LydiaW:
I really want to lead a devout life, and do what the Lord wants.

I must admit that I get discouraged a lot when my family says something rude about my catholic faith. Then I feel like " why try?"

But then I keep realizing that God must have wanted me to do this, or I wouldn’t have felt led to do this.
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Go to Mary! She will raise you to be a strong child of God, and she will not say anything rude about your attempts to be Catholic, honor Jesus, and worship the true God. She protects the heart of the clueless child. When people seem to make fun of you or look at you sternly for trying to practice a devout life, cling to Mary and ask her to be with you as you worship God. Seek her mantle of protection!

We must become like children to enter the Kingdom. And Mary has been given to us as our Mother. Ask her to be your Mommy! ❤️ She is helping me tremendously. 🙂

hurst
 
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hurst:
Go to Mary! She will raise you to be a strong child of God, and she will not say anything rude about your attempts to be Catholic, honor Jesus, and worship the true God. She protects the heart of the clueless child. When people seem to make fun of you or look at you sternly for trying to practice a devout life, cling to Mary and ask her to be with you as you worship God. Seek her mantle of protection!

We must become like children to enter the Kingdom. And Mary has been given to us as our Mother. Ask her to be your Mommy! ❤️ She is helping me tremendously. 🙂

hurst
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That is really good advice. Here is a prayer that I love.

The Memorare

Remember oh Most Gracious Virgin Mary
That never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection ,
Implored your Help, or sought your intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
I fly to thee O Virgin of Virgins, My Mother.
To you I come, Before you I stand,
Sinful and Sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
Despise not our petitions, but in your Mercy hear and answer me.
 
I don’t know if this will help, but try doing one thing at a time. No one said you have to completely embrace Catholic culture and do all of the things that we do all in one fell swoop. It sounds like you’re doing this already–getting comfortable crossing yourself when you come to church. Now try genuflecting next time you’re at Mass. Once you get comfortable with that, then the thing with our faces after the priest announces the Gospel. Someone can probably tell you the proper name for it, but basically you’re making a cross over your forehead, lips, and heart, so that the word of God is in your mind, on your lips, and in your heart. Just take it one step at a time. Is there someone in your parish you can talk to about this–your priest or religious instructor? We can help you here, but someone to talk to in real life would help tremendously.
 
Thank you all for the advice. It seems so simple to just pace myself in everything…I feel silly for not thinking of that before. Thank you for the prayer! It is beautiful…
 
Hi Lydia, hang in there, we promise this will get easier. Try these…

when you need rest, and peace, read Mathew 11:25-30
when you worry, Mathew 6:19-34
when you need peace of mind, John 14:27
when you are lonely or fearful, Psalm 23
When you are discouraged, Psalm 34
when God seems far away, Psalm 139

I know you’ve heard this probably a million times, but seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened…I promise you that is the way it goes. God does not fool us. Keep trying, keep seeking. Try reading articles from the "This Rock"archives, I learned a lot there and I’ve been Catholic all my life. There are great articles to read there on catholic .com god loves you he won’t let you down. and I agree, go to Mary our blessed Virgin, she has lead many to Jesus, she lead me to a deeper Love of our Savior.
 
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LydiaW:
…that I don’t have the courage to do simple catholic things. Last year I realized after many years of being lost, that I needed to be a christian again. I also realized that I wanted to be like my Mom’s catholic family members. They are always so loving and such devout people, that I wanted to experience this joy. So, I decided to become Catholic, and it has been a bumpy road since then. My mother used to be Catholic, but she converted to being non-denominational, and now she is convinced somehow that being Catholic is wrong or evil. Anyhow, I haven’t had the courage as time progresses in my catholic education at my parish, to do simple catholic things. I do the sign of the cross when I am praying with them at the church, but when I am at home, fear strikes me, and I don’t do it around my family. When I go into church, I finally have gotten the courage to dip my fingers in the holy water by the door and do the sign of the cross over me, but I still am terrified to geneflunct ( I tried to spell it right), and I don’t know what to do when the priest announces his reading, and everyone does some kind of little thing over their faces. I haven’t learned so far what that is. Basically, I am filled with confusion. I want the courage to be catholic, and not be afraid of what the people around me think, but it is really hard, and I keep fearing that I am going to mess up…
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Feeling guilty and being guilty are two entirely different things.

We can feel guilty because we don’t want to make other’s feel uncomfortable, even though we are doing the right thing.

We can also feel guilty when we change our habits to be the opposite of what they were previously.

When change our behavior to what we know we should do or to what we want to do, we might feel guilty at first. But as we keep doing the good action over and over again until it becomes a habit, the guilty feeling will go away.
 
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maryj:
Hi Lydia, hang in there, we promise this will get easier. Try these…

when you need rest, and peace, read Mathew 11:25-30
when you worry, Mathew 6:19-34
when you need peace of mind, John 14:27
when you are lonely or fearful, Psalm 23
When you are discouraged, Psalm 34
when God seems far away, Psalm 139

I know you’ve heard this probably a million times, but seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened…I promise you that is the way it goes. God does not fool us. Keep trying, keep seeking. Try reading articles from the "This Rock"archives, I learned a lot there and I’ve been Catholic all my life. There are great articles to read there on catholic .com god loves you he won’t let you down. and I agree, go to Mary our blessed Virgin, she has lead many to Jesus, she lead me to a deeper Love of our Savior.
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Thank you ever so much for the verses! I will write them on a bookmark and put them in my bible!
 
Sweetie, give yourself time. I know how difficult it is to become Catholic, even when you know it’s the right choice. I came into the church in 2003. Last year I finally found my way around the missal. (That’s the book they use during mass). I still can’t say “Hail Holy Queen” by memory, largely because I forget to pray the rosary. I admit I still have problems with it. I can either focus on the mysteries or the prayers, but not both. My mind doesn’t work that way. I still pray most often the “protestant non-denominational” way. I talk to the Blessed Mother all the time, I just don’t say the rosary very often. I talk to the saints. I have what I call my “crew” up in heaven, but I don’t know the prayers to them. Today is the first day I’ve felt comfortable calling Mary the Blessed Mother - and there was still a slight hesitation before typing it. Calling the consecrated wine the “Precious Blood” is uncomfortable for me. To me it is, and always has been, I’m just not comfortable calling it that. Go figure. You have a whole new way to worship to learn, and I’m sure you’re finding out a whole new “language” to speak. I personally am fluent in protestant, but not so good at Catholic. Give it time. Give yourself time. Remember, God’s not going to kick you out of heaven if you forget to genuflect. Or cross yourself. Or anything else like that.
Kris
 
One of the most helpful things to me on my journey has been good Catholic friends. They have really brought me along in my practice of the faith through encouragement, conversation, example, and even mild rebukes when needed. :o

If I have any advice, it is to find good Catholic friends. I mean good as in good friends and good Catholics. Athletes train with better athletes to improve their performance. In the spiritual life, it is important to surround yourself with people you admire in their practice of the faith. It is especially important if you don’t have supportive family!
 
man, i can relate…God reveals some incredible stuff to me, especially lately…but I am so scared to act on it-instead, I just push it to the back of my heart again even after he’s brought it forward time and time again. I think it’s a struggle that everyone can face, but man has it been rough for me lately:) I’ll be praying for you
 
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dulcissima:
Hi Lydia. I understand what you are saying since I grew up as a Protestant myself. A lot of times all of that Catholic stuff just seems so unfamiliar. A lot of times you feel like you are on the outside looking in, and that maybe everyone who sees you knows you don’t belong. It might seem like that, but that’s really not the way it is. Whether or not you bless yourself with holy water, whether or not you know all of the right responses and gestures at mass, these are not things that other Catholics are going to notice. You can figure these things out and eventually they will become natural for you.

For starters, I would get a book that will answer all of those questions you think are too stupid to ask. I found The Complete Idiots Guide to Understanding Catholicism to be excellent for that. The nice thing is that you can find the answers to the questions you didn’t even know to ask.

The other thing is repetition is very important. The more you go to mass, the more comfortable, natural, and uplifting it will become to you. Soon you will not only know all of the resonses, you will anticipate them. It will happen.

You have to develop good habits. Going to mass regularly, like you are supposed to is a good one, but also develop good habits at home. Read the Bible. Reread the day’s readings and spend a little time contemplating how they have meaning in your life. Believe me, Scripture is Living Water, new meaning and inspiration from those ancient words is always bubbling to the surface and touching our lives daily. Pray the rosary. You will need a little guide at first. You can get one at a Catholic bookstore, or print out one you find on line. At first it will seem unnatural, and you won’t be sure why you are supposed to be doing it, but after a few weeks of praying the rosary daily or almost daily, it will all click. You will be able to do it any time any where, and you will love the peace and the blessings that our blessed mother will bring to you.

One other thing, learn about the saints. We are so blessed to be a part of the Communion of Saints. Know that you have friends in heaven who care about you and are encouraging you in your faith. You are never alone.

It will all come together. One day you’ll realize just how at home you are in the Catholic Church.
Click to expand...
Ack! Please… not the “Idiot’s Guide”. It’s full of error. Instead, get the “Dummies Guide to Catholicism”. It’s by 2 very faithful priests and has the Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur. These guarantee that everything in the book is in accordance with Church teaching.

Peace,
Linda
 
Don’t feel guilty.

I came back into the Church in 2001. I’m a cradle Catholic that was raised Atheist. None of my family are Catholic anymore. It’s hard to fly solo, but I’m Irish, and once we’ve made our minds up about something, there’s no changing it. LOL!!

Anyway, here’s this for your comic enjoyment. Back in 2001, our Church was setting up the Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration and a lady came up to the pulpit to explain “Adoration,” and to encourage us to sign up for it. Now, I’d only been back to the church for maybe 3 months. I remember her saying that “God is in the Adoration Chapel. He is really, truly there.”

My naive and completely uncatechized brain thought, “Way Cool!” I signed up for it. I wanted to be there if God was there. (I should say that I didn’t understand the dogma of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist yet).

Anyway, I went for my first hour of “Adoration.” I remember being REALLY excited, because I was going to be in the presence of God, and I also thought I might get to see Him. LOL! I write this laughing.

I was the only one signed up for the 11 PM slot and I was alone in the chapel (except for God). Well, I decided to search for God in the chapel. LOL!!! In the center of the room there was a cross with a “white thingy” in it, which at the time I decided must be a piece of Ivory and behind this pretty cross was a gold enclosure with a mirror at the top. I stood up and stuck my head right next to the Monstrance (the pretty cross with the white thingy in the middle) and looked inside the gold recessed box it for God. Oh my gosh! I didn’t see anything, but the room felt quite peaceful.

I continued going to this “Adoration” thing totally based on faith. I still believed God was there … somehow … even though I didn’t see Him in the golden box behind the pretty cross. I kept going, figuring that I’d figure it out with time. About three more months passed. I learned about the dogma of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. I still didn’t connect the Eucharist to the “white thingy.”

One night in the Adoration Chapel I picked up a prayer card that someone had left in the lobby which spoke of Eucharistic Miracles … where hosts have turned into real flesh and blood.

Anyway, it was at that moment, after seeing a photo of one of those miracles, in a MONSTRANCE, that everything clicked. I realized that the “white thingy” in the middle of the cross was NOT a piece of Ivory, but a Eucharistic Host. LOL!!!

So … here I am, almost five years later, doing Beginning Apologetics with the big boys and girls.

My advice is to just KEEP GOING.

Each week, you’ll learn just a little more, and then a little more. Don’t be afraid. We’ve all been there. We Catholics aren’t born knowing all this stuff. It’ll come with time and patience.

And don’t let your family get you down. Pray for their conversion. In past few years, I’ve had one success story. My father is no longer an Atheist. The change came after seeing The Passion of the Christ. He CRIED during the Scourging scene—and he’s a macho man! I also got him to go to Christmas Mass the year before last. That was also miraculous. My Dad now believes everything Jesus taught but refuses to declare himself Catholic. I figure that, in his case, just getting him to believe in the existence of God was in and of itself a miracle. He really has come a long way.

Ironically, I’ve had the most harrassment not from my Father, but from my Mother and her family, who are all fallen away Catholics, except for my stepfather, who is Agnostic. She and my stepfather were just awful to me! My mother and I got into a big fight over it eventually. I told her that I was not going to stop going to church and that it hurts me–makes me feel physically sick–when she ridicules OUR faith and that if she wants me to visit them during holidays, she’d better stop, or I’ll stay home. You might get in a fight with your parents over this, eventually. Just stand firm and be strong. They’d rather tolerate your Catholicism than lose you. My Mom loves me a lot and decided to keep her mouth shut. The harassment stopped after our big fight. In the meantime, she’s warmed up to the faith a wee bit. She took greater interest during the Papal Conclave. She’s still fallen away, BUT she has a Sacred Heart of Jesus prayer card sitting beside her computer. I figure there’s still hope for her.

Anyway, when your parents figure out that harassing you about Catholicism doesn’t change your mind, they’ll back off. This aspect of returning to the church–dealing with the fallen away Catholics–was the most difficult aspect of my conversion process. Learning the faith was easy compared to dealing with the relatives.
 
Ack! Please… not the “Idiot’s Guide”. It’s full of error. Instead, get the “Dummies Guide to Catholicism”. It’s by 2 very faithful priests and has the Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur. These guarantee that everything in the book is in accordance with Church teaching.
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I agree! The Idiots Guide says it’s OK to use birth control!
 
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