I feel like a shmuck

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What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
 
Any Christian who doesn’t feel like a shmuck is doing Christianity wrong. Or as someone else put it, “It is when we become displeased with ourselves that we can begin to be pleasing to God,” or something similar.

Don’t try to load up obligations on yourself and “do everything.” This is a classic trap that leads to pride and then a fall and then often massive discouragement and despair. Just go slow, with a manageable daily regimen of prayer - maybe a rosary and reading the next day’s Gospel a few times. Figure out what works for you and modify RARELY. Get a director if possible.
 
What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
Keep praying the rosary. It is your best defense against falling back into sin.
 
Backsliding is normal. Just try to be aware of the triggers that make it easier to do this and try to avoid them if possible. when it happens again and it probably will, don’t beat yourself up about it. As stated above don’t take on too much. Be sincere.
 
What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
Just hang on to the Rosary it’s a lifeline from Heaven, through it all.🙂
 
Any tips to keep this train moving?
James 1:4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

It is not a sprint the race is a marathon. Be steadfast in patience and allow God’s love to be poured into you each and every day.

I noticed what you wrote about attending Mass while you knew that your soul was in a state of mortal sin. I hope many read your post as it is a testimony to stay close to the city of God. What I mean is you could have been like Sarah and simply set your heart 100% in the opposite direction of God. We do this in a way when we are in a state of mortal sin. It sounds like you understood that well. I am interested in you staying close to the sacraments as many listen to the great deceiver and will claim themselves hypocrites and fully abandon the Church and leave the city altogether. That is a great lie never to be believed. I recall once a mother asking me about her daughter who at the time was in an illicit relationship and she wanted to know if she needed to speak with her daughter about not attending Church. The Holy Spirit provided the council through me in the words of, “Do not prevent your daughter at any turn from encountering God. She is in a way moving away from God she is near the crest of the hill and she goes over the hill she will lose sight of the city set upon a hill. Instead encourage her often to turn and gaze at the light of Church which is God’s burning love shining through the darkness of sin in the world. She will recognize the beauty and warmth of God’s love in due time, and your prayers will help her turn back.”
 
You are not alone- right now I’m feeling like the mayor of schmuckville. Hang on tight to your prayers and your rosary. If you find it hard to pray one day, it’s because the devil and his agents are working on you. Pray especially on those days- it’s the only way to silence them.
Nobody’s perfect, just keep your chin up and try harder next time. God loves you and he wants you to succeed.
 
What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
Man cannot live without hope. Without its joy, he infallibly falls into mortal sin.
 
Just like Peter, eh? The Lord is racing towards you as you make your way back. Seven times seventy. The lost sheep. The woman caught in adultery. All the millions of sinners that call the Catholic Church home are deep in shmuckville, waiting for the Lord to pull them out of the mud on the Sabbath.
My only advice, hugely hypocritical, is to pray the Rosary and keep close to His mother; our mother. She notices the little things like the fat guy in the tree waving madly as Christ comes closer. She is His conduit to His love.
Peter came back and it didn’t end well for him in earthly terms. Thomas - the same. Nor Paul or the other apostles. But they ran the good race. Jesus is carrying me to the finish line as I fell so many times. But it is I that cling to His shoulders. That is called Faith.
 
What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
When God forgives, He forgets, you should do the same. You can’t erase what happened in the past but how you live from now on will determine your future, here and Eternally. God knows our weaknesses but HE will give us the Grace to resist them. Especially in the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion. Keep the Blessed Mother close to you at all times. I say a Hail Mary often during the day. Try to get back into saying the Rosary. She will bring you closer to Our Lord. The Catholic Church offers us sooo many beautiful devotions to help us on our journey. Choose the ones that you feel the most comfortable with and that inspire you most. I try to say a prayer to the Holy Spirit every day. Let your love spill out to others, in prayer and in deed. Try to make friends of faithful Catholics in your parish. I find they help me so much and are always willing to pray for me and my intentions as I do theirs. It’s a GREAT support group. God Bless, Memaw
 
Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.
Going to confession regularly is a good thing. You should be going at least once a month, and more is fine if you need it.
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us: but if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 St. John 1.8-9
Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion.
Good. Are you going to Mass every Sunday? Could you go to any extra Masses in the week? This will really aid your spiritual development. Do you say prayers every day in the morning or the evening? Read the Bible regularly? The more you do, the more it will feel natural and you will get into the routine of doing it.
 
Wait a minute! You’re a…sinner??? Welcome home.

Get up when you fall. That’s what Jesus did. When you go to confession, make sure you’re really sorry - sorry enough to do something different to avoid the occasion of sin. If you want different results, do something different. If you want drastically different results, do something drastically different.
 
What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
WHY the daily rosary?

Our Lady has 117 titles. She selected this title at Fatima:
“I am the Lady of the Rosary”.

St. Francis de Sales said the greatest method of praying
IS - Pray the Rosary.

St. Thomas Aquinas preached 40 straight days in Rome,
Italy on just the Hail Mary.

St. John Vianney, patron of priests, was seldom seen without a rosary in his hand.

“The rosary is the scourge of the devil” - Pope Adrian VI.

“The rosary is a treasure of graces” - Pope Paul V.

Padre Pio the stigmatic priest said: “The rosary is THE WEAPON”

Pope Leo XIII wrote 9 encyclicals on the rosary.

Pope John XXIII spoke 38 times about our Lady and the Rosary. He prayed 15 decades daily.

St. Louis Marie Grignion de Montfort wrote:
“The rosary is the most powerful weapon to touch the
Heart of Jesus, Our Redeemer, who so loves His Mother.”

brizek.com/prayer/pieta.htm#rosaryscapular
 
What can I say. My time in RCIA was intense. I read all kinds of books, prayed often, mastered the Rosary, Went to Church every sunday.

Then I was confirmed. Honestly it didn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon. Last year was pretty much spent in a constant state of mortal sin. I gave it my all, went to confession multiple times throughout the year, honestly striving to turn it around, but in the end just gave into sin.

Something at Christmas made me snap back. I guess the birth of our Lord reminded me of my call to conversion. Still I feel like a shmuck, and a crummy Catholic. To my credit, even though I was in mortal sin I was at Church every single Sunday aside from a few honestly missed for good reasons (I can count on 1 hand the number of days I missed), and I gave generously to the collection plate. Not to mention I prayed the Rosary almost every night before bed (however towards the last couple months I just stopped doing it, I felt like a liar and a failure in my faith and praying it was simply too painful).

I made an honest confession, and am back on track. Also picked up a green scapular to hopefully strengthen my faith. Any tips to keep this train moving? My Bishop warned me about this 😉 Its kind of embarrassing. I dont know how to describe it, wanting to be extremely ambitious with my faith when I feel like I failed so hard. Its like its challenging to look God in the face after I messed up.
Well if you feel like a schmuck then you are doing something right. Those that don’t feel like they are schmucks have something to worry about. Because it means they are satisfied with themselves, which raises a red flag they don’t see.

Say good morning and good evening to your mother in heaven, Mary. That’s a start in the right direction. Tell her about your problems and ask her help. She will find a way…always does.
 
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