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carmel16

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Well I am new to this site because I just feel like I need to talk to some catholics.
I am a “cradle cafeteria catholic” and well I really have always wanted to get more deep into the faith, and well its just hard.
Maybe I am putting these stupid reasons on myself but, I just don’t feel like I have any way to get more informed about my faith, I already did my communion, confirmation etc. and it seems catholic education stops there. I know its out there it’s just no readily available, I hear people of other faiths who have to study their faith, and at times I feel like we don’t really have those,

I don’t even go to Church, I am so embarrassed with the priest because our family only goes on special occasions, sometimes I see him around our neighborhood and I can’t bring myself to say hello because I feel so much shame , it speaks a lot about us, and no matter how much I try to learn, online, and by praying I feel like I know nothing at all, I don’t know…what do you suggest I do.

btw I’m eighteen, and the thing is that being a cradle catholic is a bit of a double edge sword, because to my OWN family it seems fanatic like to start wanting to go to our OWN church, like “what, why are you getting so religiousy, thats so oldfashioned”

i am a confused person,
 
carmel16 said:
Well I am new to this site because I just feel like I need to talk to some catholics.
I am a “cradle cafeteria catholic” and well I really have always wanted to get more deep into the faith, and well its just hard.
Maybe I am putting these stupid reasons on myself but, I just don’t feel like I have any way to get more informed about my faith, I already did my communion, confirmation etc. and it seems catholic education stops there. I know its out there it’s just no readily available, I hear people of other faiths who have to study their faith, and at times I feel like we don’t really have those,

I don’t even go to Church, I am so embarrassed with the priest because our family only goes on special occasions, sometimes I see him around our neighborhood and I can’t bring myself to say hello because I feel so much shame , it speaks a lot about us, and no matter how much I try to learn, online, and by praying I feel like I know nothing at all, I don’t know…what do you suggest I do.

btw I’m eighteen, and the thing is that being a cradle catholic is a bit of a double edge sword, because to my OWN family it seems fanatic like to start wanting to go to our OWN church, like “what, why are you getting so religiousy, thats so oldfashioned”

i am a confused person,
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If you’re 18 then you’re an adult - you can’t plead upbringing as an excuse any more now that you know better. It sucks, but it’s time to stick up for yourself. You’re not responsible for what the rest of your family do, they are adults, and I’m sure no priest would hold what they do against you, but you ARE responsible for what YOU do.

You are old enough to go to church by yourself, and you’re under an obligation to do so. Surely someone in your communion and confirmation classes mentioned that it’s a sin not to go on Sundays (unless your absence is unavoidable)?

It most certainly is NOT oldfashioned to give an hour of your Sunday up for God who gave you everything - ask your parents how they would feel if you moved just a short drive away and rarely or never visited them to say thankyou for everything they’ve done for you?

Perhaps get together with a group of other young Catholic people and go to Mass together (if you’ve got a university around you they might have a Newman Centre or something where you can go). Then your family will see there’s a social side to it as well, and that there are plenty of young ‘hip’ people involved 🙂

Show them stories and pictures of World Youth Day - it’s happening in Sydney here in about six weeks time, but there’s plenty of information from previous ones as well - and talk to them about how wonderful it is that young people travel from all around the world to gather and share their faith.

As for your education finishing - no, it’s just begun. RCIA classes, which your parish would run almost certainly, are not just for people entering the Church, they are also for those like you who want to learn more about their faith.

God bless, I’ll pray for you.
 
carmel16
I just don’t feel like I have any way to get more informed about my faith, I already did my communion, confirmation etc. and it seems catholic education stops there. I know its out there it’s just no readily available, I hear people of other faiths who have to study their faith, and at times I feel like we don’t really have those,
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I think that it’s lovely, that you wish to know more
about the faith, carmel16.

I am hoping that other posters, familiar with
the teachings of the Church, will be able
to provide you with more information about the faith.

A while back, the Church presented a new catechism.
It is on the web here:

usccb.org/catechism/text/

May God walk with you, and bless you,
as you go forward, learning more about the
teachings of the faith.

Welcome to CAF. 🙂

reen12
 
carmel16 said:
Well I am new to this site because I just feel like I need to talk to some catholics.
I am a “cradle cafeteria catholic” and well I really have always wanted to get more deep into the faith, and well its just hard.
Maybe I am putting these stupid reasons on myself but, I just don’t feel like I have any way to get more informed about my faith, I already did my communion, confirmation etc. and it seems catholic education stops there. I know its out there it’s just no readily available, I hear people of other faiths who have to study their faith, and at times I feel like we don’t really have those,

I don’t even go to Church, I am so embarrassed with the priest because our family only goes on special occasions, sometimes I see him around our neighborhood and I can’t bring myself to say hello because I feel so much shame , it speaks a lot about us, and no matter how much I try to learn, online, and by praying I feel like I know nothing at all, I don’t know…what do you suggest I do.

btw I’m eighteen, and the thing is that being a cradle catholic is a bit of a double edge sword, because to my OWN family it seems fanatic like to start wanting to go to our OWN church, like “what, why are you getting so religiousy, thats so oldfashioned”

i am a confused person,
Click to expand...
I can relate to an extent to your dilemma. I was raised Baptist, but spent most of my late teens and almost all of my 20s quite disenchanted with religion of any kind (long story). My father was a very lapsed Catholic, my mother an eventually lapsed Baptist, and no one else in the family ever went to any church at all. (Except for one sister’s brief flirtation with the Mormons, but that’s yet another story!)

I’m older than you are, but I am the baby of the family (my sisters are 14 and 16 years older than I am), so even when I’m 60 I will still be a little kid to them. And believe me, they think I’m *quite *the odd duck for going to Mass every Sunday and some weekdays, sometimes attending the TLM and (gasp!) wearing a chapel veil. 🙂 But they have pretty much gotten over it. I’ve just gone about things in a low-key way and bring religion up only when it’s in the natural flow of conversation – any kind of impassioned overt proselytizing would have made them go berserk, never mind that’s not my nature. Or I will drop it into conversation casually, as when my sister’s husband did not get laid off and I said, “Oh, I’m glad. That was one of my rosary intentions last night.” And then we moved along.

And they see that I’m still the same person – I’m still wry and sarcastic; I still have liberal beliefs where they do not conflict with the Church; I have the same interests in life for the most part; I am not going to act holier-than-thou with them.

Your family may tease you, and of course you’d know best how to handle them, but just being casual-but-determined might work. Saying, “I’m not sure, but I want to go to Mass; I’ll see you around 12:30,” would have worked for me and might work for you.

As far as religious education goes, THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET! 👍 I have learned so much by reading Catholic blogs, news sites, etc. Some things you have to take with a grain of salt (or run), but there really is a wealth of information out there. My parish does have classes for those returning to the Church or who just want to brush up on things, as well, and maybe yours does too. When I went through RCIA there was one person, I believe, who didn’t need any of the initiation rites but wanted to go through the classes, so that might be an option for you. And I’ve got a whole list of books (but then, I am a bookworm!) that were very helpful. PM me if you’d like more info on that.

God bless you!

Francesca
 
LilyM said:
Perhaps get together with a group of other young Catholic people and go to Mass together (if you’ve got a university around you they might have a Newman Centre or something where you can go). Then your family will see there’s a social side to it as well, and that there are plenty of young ‘hip’ people involved 🙂
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That hadn’t hit me, but yes – the Newman Center at a nearby university, if there is one, would be a good place to start. I live near UC Berkeley, and I have gone to the 10 PM Sunday Mass there sometimes when I’ve been out of town or otherwise unable to get to Mass during the day. That’s another good thing about them – they understand the schedules and body clocks of students! (And travelers, and 40-year-old non-morning-people. 🙂 )

And that 10 PM Mass? Packed. Not just with Cal students, either, but with folks of all ages.
 
Dear Carmel16,

God bless you!

I think you are experiencing the call of Our Lord. Any desire to “bone up” or maybe go to mass, that kind of thing, is god calling.

Like one of the posters said, thank God for the internet! I would advise a few things:
  1. Just go to mass, any way you can.
  2. Ask lots of questions, this forum is a very good place to get info. You can also ask me direct if you want, in a PM. Your parish priest can probobly get you going in a good direction too. The priest isn’t going to bite your head off.
  3. When I was a little younger than you, I was given three very good books to read that were not very hard to get through. I share them with you." Perelandra" by C.S. Lewis, " One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, and “The Hobbit” by J. R. R. Tolkien. These are small books but very, very meaningful. They do not discus Christianity in an overt way,but they are chock full of Christian good sense, and they are engrossing stories.
    Do not be hamstrung by what you think others will think, you’ll never do anything that way.
    Welcome to CAF!
 
carmel16 said:
Well I am new to this site because I just feel like I need to talk to some catholics.
I am a “cradle cafeteria catholic” and well I really have always wanted to get more deep into the faith, and well its just hard.
Maybe I am putting these stupid reasons on myself but, I just don’t feel like I have any way to get more informed about my faith, I already did my communion, confirmation etc. and it seems catholic education stops there. I know its out there it’s just no readily available, I hear people of other faiths who have to study their faith, and at times I feel like we don’t really have those,

I don’t even go to Church, I am so embarrassed with the priest because our family only goes on special occasions, sometimes I see him around our neighborhood and I can’t bring myself to say hello because I feel so much shame , it speaks a lot about us, and no matter how much I try to learn, online, and by praying I feel like I know nothing at all, I don’t know…what do you suggest I do.

btw I’m eighteen, and the thing is that being a cradle catholic is a bit of a double edge sword, because to my OWN family it seems fanatic like to start wanting to go to our OWN church, like “what, why are you getting so religiousy, thats so oldfashioned”

i am a confused person,
Click to expand...
Well, it’s simple - no matter what adult ed is offered in your parish or those near to you or whether it is in-line with the Pope/Magisterium or not (all too common these days). It is your obligation to attend Mass on Sundays/Holy Days of Obligation, unless there is serious reason not to - being ashamed of your family won’t do, not having transportation (if any Catholic church is over half-hours walk away), being sick and contagious, child/elder care by you, cyclone/tornado/hurricane warning, etc. Also you will need to fast & abstain on the necessary days. Besides that you need to read the CCC and you can listen to Catholic radio (if avail. where you live) which are both easy and very informative. Ignore any derogatory comments from anyone and realize it’s probably good for your union with Christ and is God’s (at least, permissive) Will.
 
carmel,
well, the first step before becoming more religious, is to grow in faith, that is, faith in Jesus Christ. So, first step, turn to Him and pray for the gift of Faith. However, this requires you’re being open to Him and to what faith demands and that is, surrendering your life to Him. From now on, it will not be you, but Christ who lives within you, whom you will follow. His will be done.

After you receive faith, religion will be the means you use to grow closer to Christ. Read the Bible is number one. Receive the Sacraments is number two.

You will see that after you’ve made the first step, the rest will be easier than you could’ve imagined, when you posted your not in here.

God Bless
Jim
 
Hi carmel16 👋 You’ve come to a great place… if you want to learn more about our faith. Whatever questions you have… fire away! There are plenty of knowledgeable Catholics posting here.

Next… I would like to offer a bit of wisdom from our late Holy Father… John Paul II… “Be Not Afraid”. This is what I was told, in the confessional… when I returned to the Church… after an absence of 10 years. That was over 3 years ago, now.

My experience… of being without the Eucharist, the Sacraments, the Mass… taught me a very important lesson. NEVER leave “Home” again… because Home is where we’re truly loved.

Don’t delay… or be frightened. Jesus awaits you with open and loving arms. God bless. 🙂
 
Dear Carmel -
You are neither confused, old-fashioned, “religious” or any of the adjectives your family may be labelling you with. (I’m quite a bit older than you - and have had people call me “religious” just because they’d hear I went to Mass on a holy day of obligation.)

At your tender age of 18, the yearning to continue Catholic studies and Church attendance - and the embarassment for not doing so - speaks volumes. You’re being called by God - to do the right thing. This is one time I’ll say - your family is wrong. And it’s up to YOU to set the example. Let them call you old-fashioned or whatever but get as involved as you can in your Catholic Faith.

Come here often to discuss, question and learn more. Ask your priest about how you may pursue more reading and learning about your Faith. There are courses out there - sometimes they’re at night - but please don’t stop attending Church. PRAY ! Pray at home, go to Mass, and make visits to Church anytime. Spend time with the Blessed Sacrament. Say the Rosary. Learn more about various prayers. You have so much to learn and experience. And never feel embarrassed - No matter how many sins we have, God never embarrasses us - He just waits to forgive us. So, too, your priest will welcome you if you’ve been absent from Mass. Just go ! And God bless you.
 
Honestly, I think I’ve always felt God calling me.
I myself had to nag and nag my mom from like age 10 to finally 12 to put me in classes for Confirmation. The disappointing part was class was like, today we’re learning about a sacrament, everyone pick a sacrament and make a drawing. But , had I not nagged my mom would have never made me do confirmation.

At age 18, yes I am supposed to be somewhat independent, but I’m still very much a kid in the sense that I ask for permission to go out, or at least I let it be known where I’m going, and it’s weird if I were to say “well family I’m off to church”.

And I can’t explain it, at times I’m so overwhelmed by ALL the information we have to take in. I do already own CCC, and a book of prayers, and it’s so much I don’t think I’ll ever know, and I feel that if someone were to ever ask me about my faith, I myself would not even know the answer, I’d have to look it up.

And, I don’t know how to begin reading the bible, I feel like I’ll never really get deep into it. Again because of the church tradition, I feel afraid to read it and not understand it the way the church does.
 
First off, when you read the Bible, you are praying with it.

So, the first step is to turn to the Holy Spirit and ask for help in reading. Next, open and begin to read. Don’t worry about whether you understand it or not, that will come in due time.

For me, I was led to read the Gospel of Matthew, I only read the first chapter. The next day, I found myself hungering for more. Reading the Bible became part of my daily prayer life for years, until I eventually learned to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, which of course includes Scripture.

In all, you have to pray from within, where God dwells.

Of course like anything else, you’ll only gain to the degree that you commit to it.

So, don’t put it off.

Jim
 
carmel16, I think the Church could do much better at encouraging us to seek truth on our own. We’re catechized, initiated through the sacraments, stamped “Catholic” and then let loose into the world, but we should be made aware that our journey has only begun at that point.

The Church’s gospel exhorts us to ask, seek, and knock and tells us that Jesus saves us while yet in our sins and transgressions and her catechism teaches that coming to faith and sanctification is actually a process-of metanoia-whereby we are to be changed/transformed, rebirthed/molded/renewed over a period of time-with our cooperation. She even offers models to follow such as saints who’ve sought and received direct contact with God, coming to know Him with great intimacy. We just need to be challenged more by these and other teachings so we’ll realize that our goal is only achieved by the combination of Gods’ grace and our effort.

The advice to read the bible is good. It may start out seeming foreign to you but it will open itself up and begin to reveal itself as Gods’ Word-and become a source of friendship with Him. God honors every way we sincerely look for Him. And all truth-seeking is a search for God- that no one can do for us. I left the Church at your age and searched for years until I found myself back where I started, much to my surprise. Hopefully you won’t need to take such a circuitous route but in any case, finding and growing in the faith and knowledge of our God is the most worthy-and at times even the most strenuous- endeavor we’ll ever undertake but well worth every effort.
 
carmel16 said:
Honestly, I think I’ve always felt God calling me.
…
At age 18, yes I am supposed to be somewhat independent, but I’m still very much a kid in the sense that I ask for permission to go out, or at least I let it be known where I’m going, and it’s weird if I were to say “well family I’m off to church”.
,
And, I don’t know how to begin reading the bible, I feel like I’ll never really get deep into it. Again because of the church tradition, I feel afraid to read it and not understand it the way the church does.
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Don’t feel badly. I was the same kind of 18-year-old - It really didn’t matter that the legal age was 18. A good parent expects to know a little about where their children are - But as for saying you’re off to Church, why would they have room for complaint?

As for the Bible, it’s something that I’m afraid Fundamentalist Christians study / excel in but many Catholic instructors (unless things have changed) don’t emphasize a hearty study / reading of it. Bible History was what we had in school - but after that nothing. You must be careful, however. There are many Bible study groups - in Catholic and Christian circles. You should (in my opinion) participate in one that is led by a priest or someone well versed / knowledgable in the Bible. I’ve heard friends turn sour on some Bible groups saying that various people begin interpreting their own way…I think we need the experts to lead us on that one. Go for it ! Ask your local priest about groups, etc.
 
Greetings Carmel16,

Does your church have a RCIA or RCIT program?? I’m in Florida and my church has an informal evening of RCIA/inquiry class in the summer mostly question and answer sessions. Maybe your church has something like that. I think it is wonderful that you want to attend church and maybe through your example, the rest of your family will follow your lead. I’m in my 40’s and have just recieved all 3 sacraments this past March 22, 2008.

Paula :signofcross:
 
carmel16 said:
Well I am new to this site because I just feel like I need to talk to some catholics.
I am a “cradle cafeteria catholic” and well I really have always wanted to get more deep into the faith, and well its just hard.
Maybe I am putting these stupid reasons on myself but, I just don’t feel like I have any way to get more informed about my faith, I already did my communion, confirmation etc. and it seems catholic education stops there. I know its out there it’s just no readily available, I hear people of other faiths who have to study their faith, and at times I feel like we don’t really have those,

I don’t even go to Church, I am so embarrassed with the priest because our family only goes on special occasions, sometimes I see him around our neighborhood and I can’t bring myself to say hello because I feel so much shame , it speaks a lot about us, and no matter how much I try to learn, online, and by praying I feel like I know nothing at all, I don’t know…what do you suggest I do.

btw I’m eighteen, and the thing is that being a cradle catholic is a bit of a double edge sword, because to my OWN family it seems fanatic like to start wanting to go to our OWN church, like “what, why are you getting so religiousy, thats so oldfashioned”

i am a confused person,
Click to expand...
I was and still am in a way a lost sheep. I would suggest you start going to church asap. If you don’t have time to take classes, I’ve learned a lot from the internet and this board. I’m still having a problem making confession which as a cathloic concerns me greatly.
 
igator99 said:
I was and still am in a way a lost sheep. I would suggest you start going to church asap. If you don’t have time to take classes, I’ve learned a lot from the internet and this board. I’m still having a problem making confession which as a cathloic concerns me greatly.
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Is it something I (or we) can help with?
 
LilyM said:
Is it something I (or we) can help with?
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You guys already have helped. I just need to find a time where I can actually go to confession. I really feel the church should consider electronic confessions but I guess there is a good reason they don’t.
 
igator99 said:
You guys already have helped. I just need to find a time where I can actually go to confession. I really feel the church should consider electronic confessions but I guess there is a good reason they don’t.
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Call the church - you should be able to make an appointment for a time that’s convenient for you. If you state upfront that you want it to be anonymous then you shouldn’t need to give your name and you can simply arrange that the priest will be in the confessional at a given time and preserve anonymity that way.
 
LilyM said:
Call the church - you should be able to make an appointment for a time that’s convenient for you. If you state upfront that you want it to be anonymous then you shouldn’t need to give your name and you can simply arrange that the priest will be in the confessional at a given time and preserve anonymity that way.
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Yes I must be anonymous. I can’t go to my own parish or any other one close to me. My wife refuses to go because she confessed to a pedifile priest when she was younger. I’ve been trying to convence her that she needs to come with me and that is no excuse. Another catholic I know will not go to confession because they said the church only made it a requirement during Leo X where they sold indulgences.
 
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