I feel like I don't fit in at church

[reed987]

I used to love going to daily mass at the little chapel on my college campus. I know that attending mass and receiving the eucharist is the best thing you can do with your day etc. Unfortunately, it’s a really small group and pretty cliqueish, and well, I’m not really a part of the gang I guess you can say. I feel pretty ackward sometimes being there. In fact, I feel so ackward that I stopped going about a month ago just for that reson.
Is this a stupid reason to avoid daily mass? My head tells me so but at the same time I don’t like the fact that that church is basically a little social clique. In my head I almost feel like a geek who’s trying to sit at the jock table during lunch but knows he’s not really one of them (cheesey example, I know, but it’s the closest thing I can come up with). I think this is a college thing, and I plan to start going to daily mass after I graduate. But then again this just might be a ridiculous diversion from Satan to stop me from going to mass. What do you all think?

 

[trish_scotland]

Hi there i am sorry that you are being left out. You shouldnt stop going though, have you tried talking to everyone? Im sure that if they knew how they have made you feel that they may feel bad? I feel that way on here in the forums sometimes bacause im new? because im from the United Kingdom i do feel a little different and some of the things i want to talk about on here i just dont as everyone being from another world really well ill just bore them lol but you know what im here everyday putting my comment in i keep coming back wanted or not. I know its online not face to face but persavere. I will pray for you.God bless.

 

[monicatholic]

as a Christian baptized in the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, you belong at the table of the Lord. you’re part of the family. whether you’re part of the smallish, clique-ish group of daily mass groupies (there’s a group like that at a church nearby here) is irrelevant.

go to receive astonishing graces. use those graces to love God above all things and to love your neighbor as yourself. perhaps the next person who comes to weekday Mass needs ***your ***welcome.

 

[Rascalking]

My fellow believer-

It is sometimes a difficult thing to realize and accept that people in church don’t always act like Christians.

Remember to be yourself-that’s important. As long as you can be you, that’s all that matters. Having said that, it’s not going to help how your feeling now.

Have you considered posting a “personal ad” on a cork board, bulletin board, online personal ad company, Facebook, etc?-something that says, “looking for a mass buddy…?”

Just an idea.

 

[flyingfish]

Why do you feel so intensely out of place there? Is there a lot of socializing going on in the Church before Mass? Would it help you for you to go in just as it starts and people stop talking?

Have any of those people ever treated you poorly? If they have, then you shouldn’t have to put yourself through going there. But if they haven’t, maybe you can work on changing your attitude and focus on the fact that mass is ultimately about God and not about the other people in the Church. You’re not going there to socialize and make friends.

 

[kimmielittle]

Hi there i am sorry that you are being left out. You shouldnt stop going though, have you tried talking to everyone? Im sure that if they knew how they have made you feel that they may feel bad? I feel that way on here in the forums sometimes bacause im new? because im from the United Kingdom i do feel a little different and some of the things i want to talk about on here i just dont as everyone being from another world really well ill just bore them lol but you know what im here everyday putting my comment in i keep coming back wanted or not. I know its online not face to face but persavere. I will pray for you.God bless.

Hiyas Trish

I for one, enjoy your posts.

 

[Catholic1954]

It sounds like you are being sucked in by a ridiculous diversion by Satan to keep you from receiving the Eucharist. Clique or no clique, you have every right to attend daily Mass and you should not let anyone keep you away. It’s nice to have other people to talk to and sit with, but that’s not why you’re there; just ignore them if they are so unfriendly and go on your merry way afterwards.

 

[kimmielittle]

as a Christian baptized in the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, you belong at the table of the Lord. you’re part of the family. whether you’re part of the smallish, clique-ish group of daily mass groupies (there’s a group like that at a church nearby here) is irrelevant.

go to receive astonishing graces. use those graces to love God above all things and to love your neighbor as yourself. perhaps the next person who comes to weekday Mass needs ***your ***welcome.

ABSOLUTELY

perhaps the next person who comes to weekday Mass needs ***your ***welcome.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Perhaps you could talk with your pastor to see if you could be of service in some way. Do they need a lector or altar server? If you had a function at Mass it might draw your attention away from yourself and toward the service you can give to others.

 

[Trishie]

If those folk don’t help you to feel welcome, try to be aware of all those with whom you are in communion with…Catholics at daily Mass all over the world, including me; and all the good Catholics who have participated in Mass throughout time.

Imagine that we fill the remaining seats and every square inch of the chapel, and we all welcome you. As do the Angels present.

 

[Mab2]

Participating in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is the best thing you can do for you and yours. Don’t be dissuaded by petty discouragements and obstacles placed in your path by the adversary. You are going there to receive our Eucharistic Lord and by receiving Him, you deepen your relationship with Him – don’t worry about the others, any cliques, etc. just enjoy being with Our Lord, serving Him the best you can and pray for the redemption of those who are missing out on what is truly being offered.

Enjoy and God Bless You

:harp:

 

[Zundrah]

I used to love going to daily mass at the little chapel on my college campus. I know that attending mass and receiving the eucharist is the best thing you can do with your day etc. Unfortunately, it’s a really small group and pretty cliqueish, and well, I’m not really a part of the gang I guess you can say. I feel pretty ackward sometimes being there. In fact, I feel so ackward that I stopped going about a month ago just for that reson.
Is this a stupid reason to avoid daily mass? My head tells me so but at the same time I don’t like the fact that that church is basically a little social clique. In my head I almost feel like a geek who’s trying to sit at the jock table during lunch but knows he’s not really one of them (cheesey example, I know, but it’s the closest thing I can come up with). I think this is a college thing, and I plan to start going to daily mass after I graduate. But then again this just might be a ridiculous diversion from Satan to stop me from going to mass. What do you all think?

I was just thinking, when you finally go back, will you have to get comfirmed again before you can partake in communion?

 

[noclevername]

Sometimes some churches aren’t “home” if you know what I mean. Are there any other Catholic churches you could go to instead of that one? Even if you have to drive a little bit? That would be better than not going at all. Btw, being a geek, I totally understand what your analogy. But ya know what, I’m about to marry another geek and he is the most wonderful person ever. So don’t let feeling out of place bother you too much. Everyone will eventuallly find their church home where they feel like family.

 

[Zundrah]

Sometimes some churches aren’t “home” if you know what I mean. Are there any other Catholic churches you could go to instead of that one? Even if you have to drive a little bit? That would be better than not going at all. Btw, being a geek, I totally understand what your analogy. But ya know what, I’m about to marry another geek and he is the most wonderful person ever. So don’t let feeling out of place bother you too much. Everyone will eventuallly find their church home where they feel like family.

Amen!

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I was just thinking, when you finally go back, will you have to get comfirmed again before you can partake in communion?

Confirmation is a sacrament that can be received only once.

Are you perhaps thinking of Confession? That’s a sacrament that can be received often. We need to go to confession for the forgiveness of sins. Missing Sunday Mass without a good reason such as illness is something someone would need to confess. We’re not required to attend daily Mass, however, so missing it is not sinful.

 

[leonie]

understandable, but yes, stupid.

Maybe Jesus wants you all for himself!

 

[trish_scotland]

understandable, but yes, stupid.

Maybe Jesus wants you all for himself!

I know why you might think this is stupid but to this person it is not stupid it is very real, an issue. I relate to her in a way that it may be easier to quit when that is not the answer so instead of us saying stupid we should be saying go back do your thing and never give up.

Thank you Kimmielittle for your reply to me.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I used to love going to daily mass at the little chapel on my college campus. I know that attending mass and receiving the eucharist is the best thing you can do with your day etc. Unfortunately, it’s a really small group and pretty cliqueish, and well, I’m not really a part of the gang I guess you can say. I feel pretty ackward sometimes being there. In fact, I feel so ackward that I stopped going about a month ago just for that reson.
Is this a stupid reason to avoid daily mass? My head tells me so but at the same time I don’t like the fact that that church is basically a little social clique. In my head I almost feel like a geek who’s trying to sit at the jock table during lunch but knows he’s not really one of them (cheesey example, I know, but it’s the closest thing I can come up with). I think this is a college thing, and I plan to start going to daily mass after I graduate. But then again this just might be a ridiculous diversion from Satan to stop me from going to mass. What do you all think?

I, for one, applaud you for going to daily mass as a college student. I can remember when I was in college, I went on Sundays and (sadly) did not even think about going on a regular (daily) basis.

I can understand where you are coming from, but I do not think that it should be something that would keep you from going. The mass is not about the clique and if you are accepted or not. Did Jesus not go to places that he was not accepted? And He is the reason for going to Mass, correct? This has become an opportunity for you to pray for these people. Offer your mass for them. Make the sacrifice for them. Maybe one day you will be a part of their circle of friends? Maybe there is a reason to not be a part of that? Who knows? Pray to God for them and for yourself, offer the mass up.

 

[m_crane]

Cliques are always going to be with us. I have found most times people in a cliques aren’t even aware that they are a clique. They just think of it as their own social group. It’s unlikely that you will be invited into their group because they probably don’t even realize that you are interested. It would be nice if they became socially aware that you are the only person coming to mass who doesn’t know them and perhaps invited you to join in whatever it is that brings this group together but it probably won’t happen.

You might talk to the priest who officiates the Mass and ask if he knows the group and could introduce you. It sounds like your the new guy so this might work. I wouldn’t tell you to just go up and introduce yourself because to me it just feels weird to walk up to a group of stranger unless I had a reason, but my husband, who is very outgoing would probably be able to do it with no problem.

Try not to let this keep you from Mass and I’ll pray that God gives you the strength to bear this cross. Hopefully, you won’t have to bear it long.

 

[Simon_X]

I try to go to Mass on Thursdays after work, so keep in mind it’s usually a very short Mass. There’s usually about 20 folks in the small Chapel and everyone is usually sitting and kneeling for a few minutes before Mass since we’ve usually all just come from work or wherever. I really don’t have time to think about what the others are doing or thinking, I just sit and pray before Mass. That time is very precious. After Mass, we all silently get up and leave to go home or wherever. A few folks may stay and talk outside, but that doesn’t really bother me one way or the other.

My point is, concentrate on why you are there, to pray and celebrate Mass with the others. Think about the Reading/Gospel/Homily and the Eucharist. I think you will find much fruit there and it will help you as it probably did in your college years. Please try to go if you can, it’s such a great opportunity.

Peace…