M
Mirror_Mirror
Guest
http://bestsmileys.com/eating1/4.gif
Getting my snack ready to see you defend this point of view. I am willing to share if anyone is interested.
- Status
Getting my snack ready to see you defend this point of view. I am willing to share if anyone is interested.
C
CatholiCommit
Guest
Pretty much anything we do that is sexual that is outside of marriage is sinful and when you are married and you cheat on your spouse that is a sin too, so some how no matter how we define it when we do something wrong, it is up to us to repent, and if we dont then we live with in until we do that is why it is called confession.
I am sure some of the people in here might in some way feel the same way you do, but you know we are human and we make mistakes and correcting them. Hopefully after reading some of the responses in the forum you have a little understanding. You need to do what is right for you.
I am sure some of the people in here might in some way feel the same way you do, but you know we are human and we make mistakes and correcting them. Hopefully after reading some of the responses in the forum you have a little understanding. You need to do what is right for you.
C
CentralFLJames
Guest
It is good that you have the sincerity of heart to concern yourself with the possibility that you are abusing the sacrament of repentance. This tells me your heart is in the right place. I would say that you are not abusing the sacrament and should go weekly for as long as this proclivity remains a serious challenge to you.I’m rather down on myself recently because I’ve gotten into this weird cycle of Confessing on Saturday, masturbating a couple days later, and then waiting till the end of the week to Confess and then receive again.
…
Let me give you some sincere advise. I know this sin personally and it can be a very hard one to overcome until you know how. It’s a humiliating sin since it makes one feel like they can’t even control their own body and it operates to degrade feelings of self worth and personal control. There is tremendous gilt and shame that comes back later to reduce one’s sense of self respect.
At its root, believe it or not this sin comes from pride or a damaged sense of self worth, self respect and feelings of helplessness. You may not think this but trust me deep down this is its nature. It usually starts from pride then as it degrades your sense of self worth it pushes you ever close to despair to make you think you can not prevail over it. This is the nature of all addictions. But this one is spiritual as well as physical. Once Satan convinces you that you can’t stop it he will push you into other serious sins - like fornication and selfish use of others. It’s all related.
As you have noted, there are also some real physical addictions arising from the calming and relaxing effects of the hormonal release. These natural bodily chemicals are released to reduce and cope with stress. But after the initial calming effect the stress will again come right back at you with ever increasing intensity. This promotes feelings of “being out of control” and results in a sense of degraded self worth. Guess what this does? It furthers STRESS! This causes an endless spiritual and mental cascade down to cause even more frustration and an endless cycles of: stress, stress relief, sin, guilt repeat forever. At some point the person so affected end up getting tired of going to confession and just “caves in” and gives up on it. Out of shame and guilt this is where one usually rationalizes the popular secular attitude that its all natural and there is nothing wrong with it. Then Satan has you exactly where he wants you! This is where Satan smiles and locks a captured soul into grave sin and apathy; just like he has hundreds of millions of others world wide who have bought into this highly effective spiritual trap.
Here is how to beat this.
First of all recognize that intrinsically this is not you - its an addiction - both physical and spiritual. That does not however give you an excuse to give in to it. You have to try and resist it - but its almost impossible to prevail and win without spiritual help. I hesitate to say since I don’t want to scare you but the underlying driving force is demonic. God and your guardian angle only permits this level of spiritual invasion and temptation to force you to recognize that you are totally dependent on God and His grace to resist sin. It’s not a simple matter of overcoming through personal intellect nor will. It takes real spiritual will power fortified with God’s grace.
This is why I say that there is an ego or pride component to this sin - you need to learn that you can’t overcome this on your own. Thinking you can beat it on your own is pure ego. This is the lesson you must learn. God wants to show you how weak you are without His help. This is a lesson in basic humility - which is God’s objective here. Note however, God did not turn you over to this sin. Rather you yourself left yourself vulnerable to it from some other area of your life sometime ago (perhaps through pride or disobedience etc.). But once you have caved into this sin to become a habit and have become addicted to it, spiritually and physically there is almost nothing you can do personally to stop these urges without: 1) spiritual help and; 2) some physical precautions.
I am out of text space and will give the way to beat this sin in the next post.
[to be continued]
James
C
CentralFLJames
Guest
Here is how to beat this sin
- Pray daily the rosary or St. Michael’s Chaplet (my favorite). Ask for specific help in overcoming this sin.
- Put up holy images of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and The Immaculate Heart of Mary around your home and in the areas you might find yourself getting this urge (PC, bathroom mirror, bedrooms etc.).
- Avoid overindulgence of food (notice: another stress reducer) or drinking alcohol (notice: another stress reduced) or smoking (notice: another stress reducer) and of course any illicit materials like porn or erotic materials. All the first things are linked physically with hormonal precursors while the latter being a negative spiritual linkage. Another form of this same sin is obesity. These are all coping mechanisms for an underlying problem dealing with stress and self image/worth or pride. Until you can break out of this sin try to cut back on food quantity and even fast or reduce your food intake.
- When you wake up - take a shower and fully dress. Do not lounge around in your bathrobe or your undergarments etc. and don’t get preoccupied with how you look in front of the mirror when you dress. Note: Ego, vanity, narcissism and self absorption are also related to this sin. It’s not uncommon for those that have this problem to become self aroused by the sight of their own bodies - so stay dressed.
- Go to confession and receive the eucharist regularly. Even go to daily mass or Friday mass if possible. If you can’t go daily perform a spiritual act of communion. Also, go pray before the blessed sacrament.
The only warning I would give here is don’t be surprised if you find that when you beat this sin (trust me you will rapidly beat it if you take my advise here), your entire life changes. You may find that some of the trivial aspects of your prior life are not very interesting anymore and you feel a desire to become much more devout in your faith. Life as you knew it will change. You may get a calling to become a prayer warrior or to consider the religious life. Trust me, once you personally feel and experience the surge of God’s saving grace in your life there is really no going back to life as you knew it.
James
R
rpp
Guest
James. Great suggestions!
I had never heard of the Chaplet of St. Michael. I googled it and it really looks very good! Thank you!
ewtn.com/library/prayer/mikechap.txt
I had never heard of the Chaplet of St. Michael. I googled it and it really looks very good! Thank you!
ewtn.com/library/prayer/mikechap.txt
C
CentralFLJames
Guest
Thanks RPP. I have a very pretty version of this chaplet from the following site. Note that the Fourth Salutation to the 4th Choir of Angels (Choir of Dominations) has a petition to have dominion over our senses and to correct our depraved passions.James. Great suggestions!
I had never heard of the Chaplet of St. Michael. I googled it and it really looks very good! Thank you!
ewtn.com/library/prayer/mikechap.txt
rosaryandchaplets.com/chaplets/st_michael_prayer.html
Also note that St. Michael’s promises are profound!
Whoever would practice this devotion in his honor would have, when approaching the Holy Table, an escort of nine angels chosen from each of the Choirs. In addition, for the daily recital of these nine salutations, he promised his continual assistance and that of all the holy angels during life, and after death deliverance from Purgatory for themselves and all their relations.
http://www.rosaryandchaplets.com/chaplets/st_michael.jpeg http://www.rosaryandchaplets.com/chaplets/st_michael_picture.jpeg
God Bless,
James
S
scapularkid8
Guest
See that’s what scares me: I was there a couple of weeks ago. I don’t even know how I got here, but I’ve come back to this sin that was giving me trouble until about sophomore year of high school. After that, I was at the point you’re talking about. Little/temporal things didn’t interest me. But now I feel like I’ve gone back farther than I’ve ever been. That’s the other discouraging part is that I came so far, but I fell back so far. What I shouldn’t forget is that I didn’t do any of the spiritual advancement on my own. God was the One who gave me the grace to get that far. Not me.Trust me, once you personally feel and experience the surge of God’s saving grace in your life there is really no going back to life as you knew it.
C
CentralFLJames
Guest
Just hang in there. You are in a very tough environment in school where you can’t really control your environment and are around a lot of distractions and temptations - all while you are going through the most intense hormonal changes in your life - teen years. I recollect how I was at that age. The other thing is you are not as mentally mature yet nor disciplined enough at your age to control it as you will be in your late 20’s.
The key here is not to be too hard on yourself and get down on yourself. Just face this head on. Try to note that patterns of how you get into trouble and avoid them. Ask the saints to pray for you. St. Joseph should be a good saint in this matter as well - just offer a simple daily prayer to him for his help. But really, try to be observant of what things trigger the thoughts and start trying to develop our mental focus at the same time you avoid the things that lead you to temptation. Avoidance of the occasion to sin is a key strategy for being a good Christian. Learn your personal weaknesses and avoid exposing them.
I see from your user name here that you seem to know about scapulars. Do you know about the brown scapular and its devotion?
The key thing is start daily prayers - every morning and evening do an act of contrition. After you have done this then pray for deliverance from this temptation. If necessary do it morning, mid-day, early evening and at bed time.
God Bless, I will say some prayers for you,
Jim
F
Fergal
Guest
Firstly St Josemaria would tell you “Imagine what you would be like if you did not go to Confession so regularly!”I’m rather down on myself recently because I’ve gotten into this weird cycle of Confessing on Saturday, masturbating a couple days later, and then waiting till the end of the week to Confess and then receive again.
Before during and after the act I never just think “Oh, I’ll just Confess and then everything will be okay.” I make an honest effort every time I leave the Confessional, but I fall like two days later!
I keep having to just tell myself that this is a long struggle, not something that can be cured overnight, and because of that I can allow some leeway, but I have to keep making a true effort toward stopping that way I don’t just kid myself and God that everything’s under control.
I’ve just felt really sad that I’m trying hard but I always seem to fail.
Secondly this is a problem a lot of us who confess regularly have. Only last week I had the same feeling (involving differeny matters) that made me feel like I was abusing the Sacrament.
As long as there is a will to fight it you are doing well.
You are right to be careful about presuming upon the Mercy of God i.e. using the fact that Confession is near to avail of an opportunity to commit serious sin. Venerable Louis of Grenada has a lot to say about presumption.I would suggest that you seriously consider becoming a daily Mass goer, and, with all your heart and soul focus on the worthy reception of the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord.
This is what did the trick for me when I found myself in exactly the same predicament as your good self. Fear not you are certainly on the right path!
By the way, in relation to the sanctifying grace of God, the occassion of mortal sin does not strip us of the graces we have already gained forever to the point where we have to start building it up again. It removes it from the soul and prevents any increase in grace. When you make a good Confession not only do you have the graces you have already won restored to your soul, you actually advance even more in supernatural sanctifying grace in leap and bounds. So embrace Confession at every opportunity when it is needed. Don’t wait…fly to the Confessional as soon as it is needed in the same way that you would fly for an asprin when you have a bad headache.
S
scapularkid8
Guest
Go raibh maith agat! That was really interesting and encouraging.
M
Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Do you have a close friend that you are comfortable with in talking about your habitual masturbation? The reason that I ask is that for someone that is a alcoholic they have a friend that they call when they are wanting to take a drink. Maybe the same thing could work in your situation.
Moreover, this would require a close friend that you are completely comfortable with talking to about this and woudl be willing to accept a call from you at 1 am when you are tempted.
Just a thought.
Moreover, this would require a close friend that you are completely comfortable with talking to about this and woudl be willing to accept a call from you at 1 am when you are tempted.
Just a thought.
D
davidv
Guest
See highligh. I have never heard this taught. How did you come to this understanding.
C
CentralFLJames
Guest
David, the way he said it there it looks a bit wrong but he later explained it in a correct way. Mortal sin strips us of all merits. No matter if we performed 50 years of mercenary work and committed a mortal sin - none of that good work would merit us while we remained in mortal sin. However, at the instant one repents and confesses all prior merit and grace is FULLY restored. I think this is the way he meant to convey it.
Also note, if one is in mortal sin and does good works - while there may be benefits to others and promote God’s agenda it does not merit us personally UNTIL we repent and confess. In the same manner we are re-endowed with all supernatural merit for anything we have done if we confess our mortal sins.
James
F
ForwardProgress
Guest
We must all remember before we are so hard on ourselves; the Church is very compassionate and understanding of this sin. For most ‘Good’ Catholics, this is not mortal sin, as long as the presumption is the good will of the sinner to be free of this compulsion. It’s not as black and white as some make it out to be. If it were, it would be law, not moral theology. There would be nothing to study or debate.
S
scapularkid8
Guest
I’ve actually found a blessing in my situation because of this sin though regardless of if it’s mortal or not in my case because in order to learn more about why it was wrong, I had to learn about the dignity of human sexuality and how a Christian is to redeem their sexuality just as their soul (which it’s part of) and body must all be redeemed for Christ.
F
Fergal
Guest
Apologies for the bad explination. Another poster has just cleared up exactly what I wanted to say and has said it in a way I should have said it.
Apologies again
T
thomfra
Guest
This forum just keeps getting better and better. eh… is masturbation still a sin? Surley not. I’m serious. If it is, then we are all going to hell (male and female). Forget about trying to stop doing it. It can not be done. It’s natural and human, and will stop you turning into some kind of weirdo who has sex issues/guilt. Masturbate as much as you want. Stop beating yourself up over it (no pun intended).The detail missing is that I haven’t Confessed to the same priest the last five times I’ve gone to Confession:
the first two were at school in New Jersey and it’s a different priest everytime (they rotate), the next was our parish priest, after that it was our new parish priest who just came in to replace him, and the most recent was the priest filling in for him because he went on vacation.
Lately it’s just been "bless me Father, I’ve sinned: I’m guilty of multiple instances of masturbation, ect. " insert advice on human dignity from priest, act of contrition, absolution, “Go in peace”. It hasn’t really been that detailed.
T
thomfra
Guest
oh…I just read. It’s not a mortal sin anymore. That’s some progress.
V
Verbum_Caro
Guest
Leaving aside thomfra’s Campus Crusade for Crassness, I want to address something that was said a bit earlier:
I might be misreading you here, but I think you possibly made a misstatement regarding merit.
While it is true that merit acquired before falling into mortal sin revives after we obtain the state of grace again, it is not true that those good actions done while in mortal sin revive also.
In other words, any good actions we do while in mortal sin will never be meritorious for ourselves, regardless of whether we reattain the state of grace.
The reason? Because while our already acquired merits can revive after we obtain the state of grace again (merit to which we have a claim that God honors) our good actions done while in the state of sin were never alive to begin with, and thus cannot be revived.
What do you think? If I read your original statement wrong, please accept my apology!
VC
** James**,
I might be misreading you here, but I think you possibly made a misstatement regarding merit.
While it is true that merit acquired before falling into mortal sin revives after we obtain the state of grace again, it is not true that those good actions done while in mortal sin revive also.
In other words, any good actions we do while in mortal sin will never be meritorious for ourselves, regardless of whether we reattain the state of grace.
The reason? Because while our already acquired merits can revive after we obtain the state of grace again (merit to which we have a claim that God honors) our good actions done while in the state of sin were never alive to begin with, and thus cannot be revived.
What do you think? If I read your original statement wrong, please accept my apology!
VC
T
thomfra
Guest
It’s just what I think I am afraid. You will find my other posts are quit consistent on this matter.
- Status