I feel like I'm being spiritually torn apart

[TBolt1000T]

I’m not even sure if I’m posting this in the right forum, but I really need some help. As I’ve mensioned in other threads, I’m currently in RCIA, but I work in a Baptist church, as one of the music directors. I play keyboards and sing there. I’m really having big problems, because my heart is no longer into my job. I long to join the choir at my parish instead, even though I would just be one of many singers, and I wouldn’t get paid a cent for it. I was working at the Baptist church mainly so I could get my keyboard paid off, which I now have the money to do. Surprisingly, I haven’t encountered any anti-Catholicism at work. It’s just that I have a love for traditional Catholic music, and the Catholic hymns speak much more to my heart than the Gospel songs we’re doing at work. On top of all of this, the praise team at work is like a three ring circus. Many people don’t show up for practice or the services, and I’ve been having problems with confrontational people, especially one particular praise team member. The extra money helps, but every practice, and almost every service is becoming the dreaded event of the week. I feel bad about jumping ship, because their music program would be in even worse shape than it’s already in if I go. What should I do?

 

[Pani_Rose]

I know many others who are Catholic and play music in Protestant Churches. But, they make sure they are in right relationship as far as being at Mass.

The thought that comes to me, is sometimes when God is making changes, he makes life crazy so we are willing to ‘let go’. He will make provsion for your talents, and it is ‘HE’ who will pay off your key board. You know if the people who belong there, don’t care enough to be there, then you have to look and see what the Lord is doing in their midst. What is he doing to try to get their attention - asking them where is ‘HIS’ importance in their lives, where is ‘HE’ placed. Maybe he is trying to get their attention.

God’s blessings be upon you, he will make clear your way, just ask

 

[Trishie]

Josh, just a possible viewpoint…
we can feel indispensably responsible, and when we go, maybe we leave behind a period of adjustment…
but I remember how concerned I was in leaving a parish where, because there were fewer volunteers than were needed, I had to leave behind ten different regular tasks. When I visited the parish some time later, I found that most of my previous tasks had been rationalized, and no one suffered in the least!

I wasn’t responsible for the welfare of a parish I had been called away from. God and the parish used grace and commonsense to fill in any gaps I left. There may be a period of adjustment for your former congregation, but God may be waiting to call someone as yet unknown to give new life to those who you leave behind. In a sense, that’s God’s problem, not yours, to find someone who can bring new life to the music ministry that you leave behind, if you in fact do so.

Anyhow, may God lead and guide you in everything.

 

[TBolt1000T]

Josh, just a possible viewpoint…
we can feel indispensably responsible, and when we go, maybe we leave behind a period of adjustment…
but I remember how concerned I was in leaving a parish where, because there were fewer volunteers than were needed, I had to leave behind ten different regular tasks. When I visited the parish some time later, I found that most of my previous tasks had been rationalized, and no one suffered in the least!

I wasn’t responsible for the welfare of a parish I had been called away from. God and the parish used grace and commonsense to fill in any gaps I left. There may be a period of adjustment for your former congregation, but God may be waiting to call someone as yet unknown to give new life to those who you leave behind. In a sense, that’s God’s problem, not yours, to find someone who can bring new life to the music ministry that you leave behind, if you in fact do so.

Anyhow, may God lead and guide you in everything.

Thanks! I needed that!

I was introduced yesterday to a Catholic woman who had some of the same issues that I’m having now. She made me realize that even though God called me to that church back in the Summer, that he may now be telling me to move on. She also made me realize that part of the guilt I was feeling was from being afraid of rejecting what God had given me, which I now see is probably an unfounded fear. I do still feel bad for my friend Mary, who would have to take over for me if I go.

I did get to talk to the music director at my parish on Tuesday, and we’re supposed to be setting up an audition for the choir next week, God willing. If I get into one of the choirs, the music director told me that I should wait until the first of the year, because he didn’t want me to have to go through the pressure of Christmas as a new member. Ironicly, my mother had just suggested to me a couple days before that she thought that it would be a good idea that I wait until the first of the year to quit the Baptist church, for financial reasons. It looks like things are looking up.

 

[Trishie]

Josh
Our thanks and praise to God who is guiding and blessing you on your journey!

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Josh,
you say you play keyboard. Could you possibly learn to play a traditional church organ in your parish?

If so, you’ll have employment playing for Catholic parishes and protestant Churches.

The organist in our parish, plays for all the area churches.

The Church has plenty of singers, few who can play the organ.

Jim