I feel like Mother Theresa...help needed

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River_Rat

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The story that came out last week about Mother Theresa’s struggle with spritual dryness really hit home as I’ve been fighting it for several months.

I feel like I’ve just been going to through the motions. I got to Mass and think–why do we do the same things over and over, say the same prayers, give the same responses, etc.

My prayer life is dead. It seems like praying doesn’t change anything.

I see people go to Communion who I know shouldn’t be going (yes, that’s judgmental but there are instances that I’m 100% certain they aren’t in a state of grace).

I feel like a hyprocrite when I go to confession. Although I’m truly sorry for things that I’ve done, I know I’m going to do them again and again.

I would talk to our priest about all this but he’s always too busy. There are only a few families that he has time for and mine isn’t one of them.

If anybody out there has any suggestions for me, I’d really appreciate it.
 
Obviously I don’t know your situation, but what really helped me was studying what is actually taking place at mass. I now find it facinating…I would recommend a book by Scott Hahn titled “The Lamb’s Supper”. It really lays it out and should be of some help. Also, I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
River_Rat said:
The story that came out last week about Mother Theresa’s struggle with spritual dryness really hit home as I’ve been fighting it for several months.

I feel like I’ve just been going to through the motions. I got to Mass and think–why do we do the same things over and over, say the same prayers, give the same responses, etc.

My prayer life is dead. It seems like praying doesn’t change anything.

I see people go to Communion who I know shouldn’t be going (yes, that’s judgmental but there are instances that I’m 100% certain they aren’t in a state of grace).

I feel like a hyprocrite when I go to confession. Although I’m truly sorry for things that I’ve done, I know I’m going to do them again and again.

I would talk to our priest about all this but he’s always too busy. There are only a few families that he has time for and mine isn’t one of them.

If anybody out there has any suggestions for me, I’d really appreciate it.
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I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling and I know how it feels. I strayed from the CC for quite some time for a lot of the same reasons. It was living without Christ in my life that eventually made me realize that I was NOTHING without God. It’s good that you are still sticking around, It sounds to me that you are just going through a rut. What helped me was reading the Bible, well actually, listening to it on CD. It was a reminder as to why we do go to church and worship God. It’s His house! Don’t stop praying! Whether you think you are getting no where or not, he listens! As for the Priest not talking to you; have you actually gone to him and asked him or do you just assume he wouldn’t talk to you? It’s pretty sad if he will only make time for certain families. If that is the case, is there another CC nearby? Maybe you could inquire there? My prayers are with you.
 
krissy343 said:
I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling and I know how it feels. I strayed from the CC for quite some time for a lot of the same reasons. It was living without Christ in my life that eventually made me realize that I was NOTHING without God. It’s good that you are still sticking around, It sounds to me that you are just going through a rut. What helped me was reading the Bible, well actually, listening to it on CD. It was a reminder as to why we do go to church and worship God. It’s His house! Don’t stop praying! Whether you think you are getting no where or not, he listens! As for the Priest not talking to you; have you actually gone to him and asked him or do you just assume he wouldn’t talk to you? It’s pretty sad if he will only make time for certain families. If that is the case, is there another CC nearby? Maybe you could inquire there? My prayers are with you.
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Thanks for the reply and the prayers.

Actually, I think the main reason that I’m sticking around is because my son (8th grade) attends the school at our parish and he’ll be confirmed this year. If it wasn’t for that, I may not even be attending Mass. My husband is deployed so I feel like I need to take him to Mass even though I don’t feel like being there myself.

There are other churches nearby but this is the parish I was raised in and it would be extremely hard to leave.

I kind of mentioned it to our priest and his response was to have faith and to visit the Blessed Sacrament. I guess I was expecting more than that but it is good advice nonetheless.
 
Great News for you! God has not left you. Like your husband being deployed…I am sure you know that he still loves you, thinks about you, and provides for you…God is like that…He sometimes lets you go on your own for awhile. He trusts you…and as long as you continue to pray, go to Mass etc…you are putting in, although you are not receiving…and for that…God will give you many blessings and graces. Mother Theresa wasn’t the only saint who felt like that. St. Theresa and John of the Cross as well as St. Terese all had moments like you have. You are in blessed company…don’t give up and you will see what great things God has in store for you! But the greatest company you have in this is Jesus Himself…who on the cross cried out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me”!
In my prayers.
Bernadette
 
River_Rat said:
Actually, I think the main reason that I’m sticking around is because my son (8th grade) attends the school at our parish and he’ll be confirmed this year. If it wasn’t for that, I may not even be attending Mass. My husband is deployed so I feel like I need to take him to Mass even though I don’t feel like being there myself…

I kind of mentioned it to our priest and his response was to have faith and to visit the Blessed Sacrament. I guess I was expecting more than that but it is good advice nonetheless.
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I was in the same place as you seem to be, for quite a while. A few years later, I realized how blessed I was to be “going through the motions” while taking my daughter to mass. She was God’s instrument to me. I might have been somewhat of a zombie spiritually for a while, but God still let me know he was there, even if I wasn’t actively seeking him or acknowledging his presence.

I felt very abandoned and judged that God, the church, relatives, etc. didn’t care. It was only after I’d struggled out of the spiritual desert that I realized the Holy Spirit was guiding me in a number of ways. The Bible was one way. My daughter had one, and was asking me questions. I began reading Scripture, little by little.

One of my favorite passages to this day is Jeremiah 29:11-14. After being kicked out of their homeland by the Babylonians and dispersed, many of the exiled Israelites intermarried with non-believers and ignored their faith. Believers were feeling unsupported in their faith, struggling, wondering if God did truly care about them, or wondering if he truly exists. One of God’s messages as proclaimed by the prophet Jeremiah:

"
For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future, full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot…"
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Hang in there, RiverRat. Keep praying, no matter how you feel, and keep reminding yourself that God is with you and that he treasures you.
 
I like to share with you something I read from Fr. Dubay’s book “Fire Within” (page 295):
A wife may be having a stormy time with her wayward husband, or a nun may be suffering from illness or from some community problem, or a husband may have been deserted by his neurotic wife. The advice given in case like these only too often is something like the following:
‘This is indeed a severe trial, but God is testing you. There are many wrongs in life that we can neither correct nor control, but if we suffer them well, we gain great merits. These are the dark nights that all of us must go through.’ The first two sentences have value, no doubt (even though God’s “testing” may be no more than His permission of evil for greater good), but the third sentence is simply a false depiction of the dark nights that the soul undergoes. When St. John of the Cross speaks of the dark nights, he is dealing with mystical contemplation, not with trials deriving from human ignorance. illness and sin.
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In other words, earthly trials allowed by God and the anxieties derived from the trials are not the dark night St. John was talking about.

In my own experience and from conversations with other people, I find it very common when we go through hardships for prolonged period of time, we may feel worried, anxious, tired, deserted and distant from God. We could feel there is no use of repeated, unanswered prayers. We may feel dry in our spirituality. But according to Fr. Dubay, this kind of dark period is not the dark night of spirit St. John was talking about.

I don’t really know about your situation. But I think when we go through a tough time of life, we can choose to cling to the Lord or to wander away from him. I have made up my mind to attach to the Lord because who else can I go to beside Him?

No matter if it is dark period of life, or dark night of the soul of contemplation, by all means remain in Him. For we know that there is no other way out, except stay with The Way.

Jesus, I trust in You!
 
I can’t thank you all enough for the advice. May God Bless all of you!

I guess that for the time being I will continue to “go through the motions” so to speak and see where the Lord leads me.

Thanks again.
 
Hi River Rat,

Another thing you can do is to follow the suggestion of St Gabriel (from the previous reply). Since you have felt that you might’ve been through something similar like Mother Theresa, you can certainly read books about what other things that she had done that kept her faith strong and her love for God.

What she had done to stay strong in faith until the end is more important that what she had felt. Some local Catholic bookstore will have many books on her.

God bless.
 
I assure you, God is more proud of you for not giving up on Him, than He is with those that are flying high as a kite! — You are showing as Mother Theresa did, that even in this dry period, you continue to do His will. You have the special opportunity, right now, to grow. Make a commitment that you will not give up.😉
 
River Rat,

I’ve experienced this as well, and there’s good news. God is permitting this for some good purpose. You will come through this trial, and your faith will be stronger than before.

I have one suggestion I haven’t seen mentioned. During my ‘dark night’, my prayer life was so dry that I could not even go through the motion of a simple verbal prayer, like an Our Father. So I decided to simply set aside some time each day to sit silently in “God’s presence”. I closed my eyes and imagined myself in the throne room of heaven. In the beginning, this room was totally black to me, and I had no sense of God’s presence or anything else in this “room”. But I forced myself to stay there for some period of time. I think I started off with 5 minutes, and it gradually became longer. My mind was mostly blank. Over time (I’m talking months), I was slowly able to address my thoughts to the God I could not sense. Very slowly, the room became lighter, and at some point, my prayer life become ‘interactive’ with God again.

Be still and know that He is God. Be patient with His timing, and do your best to trust in His love for you and His goodness, even though you are feeling nothing at this moment. You are in my prayers.
 
River_Rat said:
I can’t thank you all enough for the advice. May God Bless all of you!

I guess that for the time being I will continue to “go through the motions” so to speak and see where the Lord leads me.

Thanks again.
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In times of dryness, which we all seem to go through from time to time, You might try just saying the Name…“Jesus.” When I can’t pray that is what I do and it works wonders. Sometimes that is all I can say over and over, but it is a comfort and it works.

God Bless.
 
Hello Friend,

I am sorry that you are struggling. It is easy for us outsider’s to tell you to keep praying and going to mass, for we are not in your shoes.

However all of us from time to time, lose sight of our spiritual needs.

Yes, many priests are busy, and your priest’s suggestion to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is great. There is nothing more healing and empowering than falling at the feet of Jesus, and laying bare EVERYTHING that is in your heart.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)

This is a start. Seek out a spiritual advisor. Your spiritual advisor can be a lay minister of the church, a deacon, or a nun. It does not have to be a priest.

Mostly, let God lead you. He will direct you,

I will pray for you!
 
Riverrat, I’d like to offer something else for you to consider. Try to “set yourself up” for prayer – put reminders around to remind yourself that our Lord wants you to seek him. Do you have a crucifix in your living room? a candle (symbolizing that Jesus is the Light of the world)? a picture or two of Jesus, Mary, or holy people? a bible? a prayer card? a rosary? books of prayer? These have helped me (and continue to) tremendously.

Volunteer in your parish – even if you think they’re little acts – they’re important!
 
I have my TV tuned into EWTN as often as possible. I don’t think I could live w/o it.

Also when you pray, don’t forget to take some time in silence, and just listen.
 
Thanks again to all of you.

I’m overwhelmed by the outpouring of prayers and advice. Some of the replies have brought tears–knowing that others have been where I am helps a lot.
 
In meditation of the “Finding of Jesus in the Temple”, taken from the “The Rosary Of Our Lady”, by Romano Guardini, I found this meditation that may help you [A terrible blow struck deep into her maternal heart and took her Child away: the will of the Father. How hard this was and how great the strangeness was that they did not understand the word that He spoke to them. Yet the joy of finding Him again was a sustaining reward.
All of this repeats itself spiritually in the life of every believer. At first, Christ is the center our faith in Him is firm and loving. But then He disappears for a while often suddenly and apparently without the slightest reason.
A remoteness has been created. A void is formed. We feel forsaken. faith seems folly. “Against all hope,” we must maintain hope. Everything becomes heavy, wearisome and senseless. we must walk alone and seek. But one day we find Christ again and it is in such circumstances that the power of the Father’s will becomes evident to us].
 
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