I feel like Satan's pulling me away

[seeker_of_God]

Hi,

I don’t know what to do. I feel like Satan is pulling me away from the faith. Of course I still believe everything, but every week for the last month or so, things have happened every single Sunday that have prevented me from going to mass. I have to depend on someone to take me to mass, since I’m blind, and things have been coming up.

One weekend, my mom wanted to leave early to take me back to college, so I couldn’t go in the morning, so I thought I’d get my friend to take me at night. But he got back really late, and I couldn’t get in contact with him in time.

Another week, I had pneumonia.

Another week, I accidently got up too late (I don’t bring my alarm home usually) and couldn’t go.

Yesterday, my mom wasn’t feeling well so couldn’t take me.

The more it happens, the more desensitized I am to it. I feel so bad because I didn’t go at all over advent, though thankfully I was able to go to midnight mass for Christmas.

The more I don’t go, the more I feel pulled away. I used to be so much more enthusiastic as evidenced by my past posts. I still pray every day, but it’s just not the center of my life like it used to be.

And then these doubts come into my head, and I push them away because i can’t handle them right now. The only thing I can do right now is have blind faith. I don’t have the strength to question. We were watching a show about the gospels and the early Church, and it was great, until they got into the gnostic gospels, and I asked my mom to turn it off because I couldn’t listen to what they were saying for fear of it sewing doubt.

I have no one to support me. My family is not Catholic. Even my one friend who is Catholic doesn’t practice it fully. I’m ashamed of what’s happening, though.

I need to get through this. I’m not even through RCIA yet. I am really scared, and I feel like God will abandon me.

Please pray for me. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated, too.

 

[cthulhubryan]

I need to get through this. I’m not even through RCIA yet. I am really scared, and I feel like God will abandon me.

Please pray for me. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated, too.

Tell Satan that nothing he does will keep you from going next Sunday. Then go Saturday night

All kidding aside, I will pray for you.

 

[juliasmith]

Call the church and/or your RCIA director. Explain the issue and see if they cannot find someone willing to give you a ride to the church…maybe your sponsor. Don’t feel that you cannot do this because it would be a burden on someone. Most will feel privileged to be your help in a time of need.

I too had issues over Advent. I feel your frustration. Just hang in there and determine that even if you never darken the doors of a church again, you will cling to the Blessed Trinity. That is the absolute most important thing. Whether or not you go to mass, God is still there. He still sees and hears you. He will never abandon you. Run to Him. Ask for his help and a solution will present itself I am sure.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Maria1212]

Dear OP,

I will keep you in my prayers. We all feel tempted by Satan and that is what makes us human. On Sundays when you are not able to attend Mass due to lack of transportation or being ill, try spending an hour praying the rosary or studying the Bible. If you have access, you could try to listen to Mass at EWTN. Sometimes, I listen to a CD of the rosary when I pray and that makes me feel less “alone” and helps me stay focused. If you don`t have a CD, you could try using a screen reader at one of the online websites.

Hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Maria1212

 

[pamnbam]

I really like the EWTN idea. Sometimes it just helps to sit and listen to others participating in the faith; their enthusiasm in the faith easily rubs off on others.

 

[Loved_by_Mercy]

Dear Seeker,
Satan wants to tempt you to give up. Since you are in RCIA he knows that you are heading towards the Truth and the fullness of the sacramental life of the Church. He doesn’t want you to have it! Satan is trying to make you believe his lies that God doesn’t care because you don’t feel close to God. Don’t listen to the devil’s lies. GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU! In my experience, the devil mounts an attack especially when people are heading towards God. Stick with God, He is more powerful than Satan.

You are right to hang on in faith, your faith will grow stronger by it. Pray that God will give you the strength and fidelity to Him. He will not let you down. I’ve been there, God delivers.

In addition to the recommendations that others have given, might I suggest that you offer a prayer of thanksgiving and praise to God when you are faced with these temptations. Reconfirm your faith in God. Responding in this way will turn your temptations into a chance to grow in virtue and show your love for God. Satan will be unhappy with this response and that’s a good thing!

I am praying for you! “Be not afraid.”