I feel like screaming

[YADA]

Our RCIA is (sorry, not to be critical - just honest) a snoozefest. We had to go through it coming into the Church. I literally was falling asleep in class and there were only like 6 or 8 people in ours. I absolutely love to learn (bookworm)…so, that was totally unlike me. It was just that boring. And the sponsors aren’t there all the time…it’s only for 2 different days before Easter Vigil.

Sponsors may not be **required **to attennd every session. We encourage sponsors to come. Also, any aprishioner who wants to join our RCIA can come. Afterall it is the Comunity that these individuals may decide to join…

And if the RCIA is a “snooze fest” perhaps they need your (name removed by moderator)ut to make it a more enlightening formation…Did you ***honestly ***share your experience with the Leaders so that they could improve it? Not just tell them it was “boring” but give them concrete feed back: you did not cover the topics of greates concern to me, the educational level of the presentations was to High/Low…the presentations invloved too much lecture not enough discussion or vice verse. We needed more small group time…the questions were not appropriate…

If the formation was a snooze fest…why did you decide to become catholic?

If receiveing Jesus in the Eucharist is not reason enough to attend a Holy day or Sunday Mass, what made you want to receive Jesus at that first Vigil Mass?

 

[Still_Trying]

My main reason for going to church is not so much to make friends or for people to know me, but it is to recieve Christ in The Holy Communion. Jesus is Alive in The Blessed Sacrament! Jesus is there for us and is being given to us every day in the Mass. Try and reflect on the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

Your brother in Christ

“If you are what you should be, you will set the world on fire!” --Saint Catherine of Siena

The Eucharist is the **ONLY **reason I’m still there…but I’m in such a dreadful depression and so full of anger by the that point I usually don’t take communion…

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Not to be rude, not to be nasty, but just curious- Did you convert because you believe the Catholic Church is THE Faith, or did you convert to please your husband or somebody else?

I ask because, while I will be the first to admit 21st century Catholics are not big on building “fellowship”, you seem really critical of the Church as a whole because there is no social network for you.

Yes, it would be wrong to go to Mass Saturday evening and then go to the Baptist church on Sunday so you can attend their acitvities. It sounds as if you’d like to be back there, that you really miss the place. I think if you did do as you suggest, you would go back to being Baptist, if you did it too often, not based on belief necessarily, but because you are lonely.

If you are not a “starter”, a person who can say, “Hey Father! We need this and I will be the one to put it together”, then you might want to shop for a new parish. You do not have to stay where you are if you can find a parish that offers a more friendly atmostphere.

Another idea: Talk to the priest and tell him flat-out you need something to do, because you are seriously thinking of going to Mass Saturday evening, and then to the Baptist church on Sunday so you can join in the activities. If that doesn’t work, seek another parish, even if you have to drive a bit.

 

[kage_ar]

“We’ll work on it” translates to - the few people we have are stretched so thin that they cannot start up something new.

Have you said _ "Father, hubby want to start a Catholic family game night for the second Friday of every month. This would be a pot luck style dinner where everyone would be asked to bring soup and sandwiches and their favorite board game.

We would need use of the Parish Hall from 5:30 PM til 8 PM. We do not want to burden the staff or volunteers - DH and I will do set up and clean up. Can we schedule for next month and start advertising in the bulletin?"

If it needs to be run past a committee, ask when the committee meets and call to confirm that you will be at the next meeting - complete with plan in hand.

 

[kage_ar]

And like another poster said, if you are not a starter - do find another Parish.

BTW, I am in desparate need of another volunteer in the Parish library - you are a bookworm, maybe there is a Parish library or book store around that needs a volunteer?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

And like another poster said, if you are not a starter - do find another Parish.

BTW, I am in desparate need of another volunteer in the Parish library - you are a bookworm, maybe there is a Parish library or book store around that needs a volunteer?

you are tempting me to fly to Arkanas! I would LOVE to help you in your parish library, if I did not have to drive all the way from here!!!

 

[beckers]

Honestly it sounds like the Devil is playing tricks with you. You say you love the Eurcharist but are getting depressed thinking about Church. Which doesn’t make sense. Mass is about Jesus who you love. You should be running in joy to accept him. When you start getting depressed give it to Jesus and ask for support.

You say your a bookworm. Well there is so much out there to dive into. Have you read the lives of the saints or picked up a book on a topic your interested in? It shouldn’t cost you much at all. The church should have a library or your public library will have it. Check out the books about Mother thresea. What about the Rosary? I have started praying it lately and it has brough me such joy.

As a young adult i have sometimes felt like you. Felt like an outsider. i relaize that there are tons of people like me. and i have meet them through other activites. One way is to call your diocese and ask about programs or groups that they may have at the diocese level that interested you. it’s a great way for you to grow in your spirituality and meet people.

The difference between Catholics and baptist is that we don’t just have our parish commmunity but the whole church. This is your family and even though i am in houston,TX i am here and part of your community. :hug1:

 

[YADA]

Thank you all for your replies…it’s nice to know there are people out there who care.

I’ve suggested quite a few things to the priest and the committee that schedules things. Nothing has been changed…I keep hearing “we’ll work on it”…

Would it be okay to go to Mass on Saturday night and then go to protestant church on Sunday to have fellowship and activities?

I believe you missunderstood my post - don’t suggest things…take the lead…

You can suggest they [Someone other than yourself] start a [Fill in your suggestion here]. Then you can wait for the “Someone other than you” to research, organize, arrange for, and schedule the requested activity. This will lead you to depression and anxiety…

You are still waiting for others to put forth the effort…

You do not need to get permision to host a bible study in our home with other parishioners - you only need to ask others to join you and research the scriptures you intend to use, write discussion questions, pick a day/night and bake some cookies and brew the coffee…

If you want to begin a more formal activity - You might need to seek permission to use the parish facilities and schedule your use around other activites. If you aree willing to take on the work - and you went to your priest and told him you would like to start a Respect Life Committee for your parish - as an example - with a plan in hand…you think nothinng would happen???

 

[kage_ar]

Would it be okay to go to Mass on Saturday night and then go to protestant church on Sunday to have fellowship and activities?

DH and I are very happy, I love him so much. My boyfriend from before, his parents were so much fun, every Sunday they had a big dinner and touch football and ponies to ride.

Would it be okay to be with my husband on Saturday night then go to my former boyfriend’s house on Sunday for fellowship and activities?

Not to say that there are not times when it is good to fellowship with Christians of other faiths, but, it should not be a regular thing and not in place of becoming part or your NEW family.

Big hugs and prayers for you!!

 

[Linnyo]

DH and I are very happy, I love him so much. My boyfriend from before, his parents were so much fun, every Sunday they had a big dinner and touch football and ponies to ride.

Would it be okay to be with my husband on Saturday night then go to my former boyfriend’s house on Sunday for fellowship and activities?

Not to say that there are not times when it is good to fellowship with Christians of other faiths, but, it should not be a regular thing and not in place of becoming part or your NEW family.

Big hugs and prayers for you!!

Woah - I thought you were for real there! I was very shocked! That is bad kag er.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Oh, Linnyo, I thought kage-ar came up with a really good example. I am still chuckling.

Still_Trying, another thing I hadn’t considered: I, for one, will pray for you. I don’t pray for everybody when I do this. You are part of the big family known as the Church. To use a Exodus metaphor, please don’t go back for the Egyptian onions! They are not as tasty as you remember.

:grouphug:

 

[YADA]

DH and I are very happy, I love him so much. My boyfriend from before, his parents were so much fun, every Sunday they had a big dinner and touch football and ponies to ride.

Would it be okay to be with my husband on Saturday night then go to my former boyfriend’s house on Sunday for fellowship and activities?

Not to say that there are not times when it is good to fellowship with Christians of other faiths, but, it should not be a regular thing and not in place of becoming part or your NEW family.

Big hugs and prayers for you!!

I thought this a good analogy :tiphat:

 

[THutch04]

I can definitely understand where you’re coming from…I hate going home for the summer, because that starts the hassle of finding a church to attend. The year I converted I actually did register for a parish, then left because of an individual there. I’m the only Catholic in my family, I have nobody. I know that Mass isn’t supposed to be a social hour, but to be honest, I mostly hear that comment from people who don’t have to worry about always being alone. This past summer I just got cynical and decided to go to any church that had Mass times when I finally decided to wake up on Sundays. I’ve had the occasional moment where I’ve gotten cynical if a particular priest wants the congregation to pretend to be friendly towards each other: all I can think is that nobody actually cares who I am. I’m in year 2 of being Catholic, and I STILL relate better to those in my other faith than Catholics. I’ve been tempted MANY times to go to my old church for activities (especially music activities, because the music there was amazing…), but I try my best not to because it won’t help me to become assimilated into Catholic life. I don’t know that it would be “wrong” for you to do that once in awhile, but making it a regular habit isn’t a very good idea if you’ll be tempted to go back.

 

[ack]

Like other have said, there are Catholic parishes that do things like this too. Have you visited all the parishes in your town and looked in the bulletins for stuff to do? Maybe you’ll find a better parish.

Yes, the protestant churches do seem to get a lot more donations and tithes out of their people. And all the guest speakers and such are very fun. But, the things that made the most difference were the simple fellowship times…potlucks, game nights (puzzles, board games, cards, etc.), etc. I used to LOVE the “Sing-spiration” nights! Everyone would just get-together in the sanctuary and the piano player would be there and all would have a hymnal and everyone would take turns shouting out what song they wanted to sing. Soooooo neat! Anyway, my point is…those times didn’t cost anything…everyone brought food to the potluck themselves…or games from home (and then took them back home after)…the hymnals were already there…just everyone got-together and sang. Simple things like that make wonderful memories.

 

[Woodstock]

Yes, I’ve thought about going to a counselor…but to be honest…we don’t have medical insurance, and we are very low-income so there wouldn’t be a way to afford it. And, aside from that, I was a relatively well-adjusted person before I converted…I don’t know how they’d “fix” that???

Go to your diocese’s Catholic Charities. They have confidential counseling from licensed psychologists and they charge on a sliding scale based on your income. If you can’t afford it, they don’t charge. They’ll be able to help you with the mental and emotional issues as well as the church issues.

Conversion is a major life change. Some people get depressed after bringing a new child into the family. They were excited and looking forward to it, then it just hits them unexpectedly afterwards. It isn’t the child’s or the parent’s fault. Depression and anxiety are something most of us will experience at one time or another. It is an illness. Regain your joy, your faith, and your life. Go see a counselor at Catholic Charities and crush this beast.

 

[ack]

You know, I have noticed that the church is clique-ish, and I think a lot of it has to do with the history of the Catholic Church in America. The Catholic Church used to be associated with certain ethnic neighborhoods. You came to church with your ethnic neighbors, you socialized with them, and you were never oriented to the larger community.

The “megachurches”, on the other hand, were founded after the American integrated, suburbanized lifestyle took root.

So, the newer Protestant churches don’t have this issue, because they don’t have the history that the Catholic Church has.

I can definitely understand where you’re coming from…I hate going home for the summer, because that starts the hassle of finding a church to attend. The year I converted I actually did register for a parish, then left because of an individual there. I’m the only Catholic in my family, I have nobody. I know that Mass isn’t supposed to be a social hour, but to be honest, I mostly hear that comment from people who don’t have to worry about always being alone. This past summer I just got cynical and decided to go to any church that had Mass times when I finally decided to wake up on Sundays. I’ve had the occasional moment where I’ve gotten cynical if a particular priest wants the congregation to pretend to be friendly towards each other: all I can think is that nobody actually cares who I am. I’m in year 2 of being Catholic, and I STILL relate better to those in my other faith than Catholics. I’ve been tempted MANY times to go to my old church for activities (especially music activities, because the music there was amazing…), but I try my best not to because it won’t help me to become assimilated into Catholic life. I don’t know that it would be “wrong” for you to do that once in awhile, but making it a regular habit isn’t a very good idea if you’ll be tempted to go back.

 

[YADA]

I can definitely understand where you’re coming from…I hate going home for the summer, because that starts the hassle of finding a church to attend. The year I converted I actually did register for a parish, then left because of an individual there. I’m the only Catholic in my family, I have nobody. I know that Mass isn’t supposed to be a social hour, but to be honest, I mostly hear that comment from people who don’t have to worry about always being alone. This past summer I just got cynical and decided to go to any church that had Mass times when I finally decided to wake up on Sundays. I’ve had the occasional moment where I’ve gotten cynical if a particular priest wants the congregation to pretend to be friendly towards each other: all I can think is that nobody actually cares who I am. I’m in year 2 of being Catholic, and I STILL relate better to those in my other faith than Catholics. I’ve been tempted MANY times to go to my old church for activities (especially music activities, because the music there was amazing…), but I try my best not to because it won’t help me to become assimilated into Catholic life. I don’t know that it would be “wrong” for you to do that once in awhile, but making it a regular habit isn’t a very good idea if you’ll be tempted to go back.

And if you continue to shop for a parish, you will fail to make any contacts that will become friends…you also are probably not supporting these occasional parishes in any meaningful way…[Time, Talent or Treasure].

Therefore, as such these parishes, may not have the resources in terms of paid staff, skilled volunteers nor the finances to offer [interesting and affordable] activities to satisfy your desires…

 

[Still_Trying]

Whew! That’s a lot to intake… Let me see if I can touch on several comments and points…

I’m not a leader…would probably faint before leading anything.

Yes, I was very specific in outlining various activity options that would be good fellowship, but low to no cost for people who would like to join in (even typed it all out with the ideas, etc.)…

OutinChgoburbs…ok, much of that came across as hurtful…though I don’t think you meant it that way… Let me try to address a few points. You said, “you seem really critical of the Church as a whole because there is no social network for you”. Well, I am upset. I think that’s pretty clear. I went from an “extended family” that loved and cared about me to absolutely nothing. That’s a pretty big system shock. Yes, I expect any church to have fellowship opportunities as the Bible says that we as Christians are to fellowship with one another. — I’ve written several things to our parish priest…he’s very overburdened handling things. I wrote to the 2 priests that were there before him, as well. I’ve never gotten one single response to any of it.

kage_ar…no, I’m not a starter…and we’ve checked into the parishes that are all over town. The activities all cost, at all of them…and there’s very little going on (unless it’s a kids/parents activity). I know you’re encouraging just starting something…but I would have SO much more anxiety from that than from just dropping it. That’s why I was wondering about just being a regular visitor somewhere else? Cause it’s already established and I wouldn’t have to take on more work (all anyone ever seems to tell me is I work too much and need to have fun…I look to Church for fun activities). Anyway, not much in the way of options, we just end up going to the one that’s closest to home. There are no Catholic bookstores in town. There is one Catholic library that’s way downtown, but it’s open odd hours during the week (I’m at work) and then like 3 hours on Sunday??? I’d love to come help at yours!

ack…yes, tried them all…one has a lot of activity, but it’s for kids/parents…the rest seem pretty slow in the activity area.

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut!!

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I’m sorry you feel that way. I was trying hard not to be hurtful. You do seem very angry, and you do seem as if you want to go back to being Baptist. I wish you lived nearby. We could have a cup of coffee and sort this out.

 

[Still_Trying]

I believe you missunderstood my post - don’t suggest things…take the lead…

You can suggest they [Someone other than yourself] start a [Fill in your suggestion here]. Then you can wait for the “Someone other than you” to research, organize, arrange for, and schedule the requested activity. This will lead you to depression and anxiety…

You are still waiting for others to put forth the effort…

You do not need to get permision to host a bible study in our home with other parishioners - you only need to ask others to join you and research the scriptures you intend to use, write discussion questions, pick a day/night and bake some cookies and brew the coffee…

If you want to begin a more formal activity - You might need to seek permission to use the parish facilities and schedule your use around other activites. If you aree willing to take on the work - and you went to your priest and told him you would like to start a Respect Life Committee for your parish - as an example - with a plan in hand…you think nothinng would happen???

YADA…answering other posts…and this one…

no, I didn’t share my views with the RCIA teacher that class was dry. The level was acceptable as far as the material, but was presented in a very dull manner. She was a very sweet lady and I know was doing her best.

You said “If the formation was a snooze fest…why did you decide to become catholic?”. That’s easy…I’m not basing my decision on how entertaining the class was…I’m basing it on the facts…the Church, it’s authority and long history, the sacraments…I did MUCH research on my own…I did not make the decision lightly.

Receiving the Eucharist IS enough reason to attend Mass…that’s why I still go every single time…no matter the emotional/mental damage done. I’m talking about outside of Mass…

We don’t have the space in our place to have a Bible study…we live in a VERY tiny studio apartment. Getting things “approved” at the parish is very time consuming and difficult.