I feel manipulated and hurt by religious doctrine. Why do I want to have a relationship with God?

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Hi to everybody on here. I have a problem that I’m not shaking. Here it goes:

I was feeling this way for the last ten years. I feel like me being formerly involved in the faith of Christianity has contributed to me being depressed and in psychological decline. I don’t want to go into too much background about how I ended up today, but I don’t want anyone to assume that I should “go out and do something.” I don’t have the problem with Catholics themselves much per se, but I feel so hurt by mainstream doctrine of the churches today.

I feel very upset and frustrated that I have to exist in today’s social climate and I have nothing else to look forward too except when this world is supposed to end, because the only message I’ve gotten depressed and tired about being drilled into me was “We should save our concerns not for this world, but the next, and God is the only one who is in control of society’s ultimate collective destiny”. They always came off as manipulative and wanting to emotionally hurt me.

Then, it makes me sad that God wants to wipe away the “good” things that we got to enjoy on this earth like having children and relationships with the opposite sex, or anything else on being an adult that I “missed” on here. I don’t want to hear the emotional manipulation of “well, you’ll be with Jesus and you wouldn’t worry about that stuff” or “God has something better planned for us”, I want to here some people who can be a “credible” believer in a church or denomination to actually empathize with me. Instead, they just want to go after me and my vulnerabilities. They don’t want to hear about messages that might slightly conflict with their worldview, even if it hurts so many other people.

And that’s it, I feel psychologically damaged and manipulated by the mass of believers due to the doctrine they believe in. It’s not really different from those “progressive” liberal globalists and mainstream media groups of the western countries that want to tell the masses dishonest and shady things, trying to fill society with negativity. They behave more like liberals (I’m more right-wing myself) today in these kinds of situations.

I feel this way on the subject of my very existence sometimes. When I get the chance to talk to God, I want to have a firm, stern talk about how I didn’t get to enjoy certain things on this earth and how there is no opposite-sex relationships or child-rearing in Heaven (whatever happened to God saying calling sex/intimacy and romantic relationships “all good”?) or any other things here that aren’t supposed to be evil by nature. If it’s really true that we won’t get any chances to enjoy that same kind of drive anymore, I also want to ask him to either put me in non-existence for the rest of eternity or enjoy the gift of eternity as a hermit.

What I typed out pretty much covers my feelings in general.
 
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Well, you want a relationship with God because you are human, and have a brain and a soul. Simple as that.

In regards to your other concerns,
Tails said:
Then, it makes me sad that God wants to wipe away the “good” things that we got to enjoy on this earth like having children and relationships with the opposite sex, or anything else on being an adult that I “missed” on here.
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What makes you think that?
 
Here is a link:
http://biblehub.com/matthew/22-30.htm

All the message we ever hear is that all our passions and desires here is “sinful and corrupt” no matter what. I have pretty much heard that same message 99% of my life on the subject. There is just a large narrative that people extract from it.
 
Tails said:
We should save our concerns not for this world, but the next
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That’s not Catholic teaching.
I can’t speak for other religions

:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2: for you and your hurting heart…
 
Life is a spiritual battle. It can be even harder if we feel it has no purpose other than to wait.

Oh boy, how wrong that is! God gives us these little gems called life, so that we may turn coal into diamonds, suffering into joy. We are called to be saints (yes, even you!) and to be warriors for Jesus on earth in order to win more souls for Him. Life is not a waiting room; it’s a battlefield.

Look at the joy of the saints and you will understand.

Have you read the Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila? She goes into more depth on this, basically saying that it is possible to reach Heaven on earth. I highly recommend it.

Edit: I think a good look at the Catholic Catechism would also help. Sometimes when it feels like sin can’t be escaped, or as though 99% of things are sinful, it is either because of a.) an authority figure misunderstood something b.) our despair from not understanding that God is capable of getting us through anything, even sin or b.) our lingering affection for sins and misunderstanding that yes, God provides much more happiness than anything the world can offer.
 
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Tails said:
Then, it makes me sad that God wants to wipe away the “good” things that we got to enjoy on this earth like having children and relationships with the opposite sex, or anything else on being an adult that I “missed” on here.
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Orthodox Catholics have the best sex and large families are encouraged.
Tails said:
And that’s it, I feel psychologically damaged and manipulated by the mass of believers due to the doctrine they believe in. It’s not really different from those “progressive” liberal globalists and mainstream media groups of the western countries that want to tell the masses dishonest and shady things, trying to fill society with negativity. They behave more like liberals (I’m more right-wing myself) today in these kinds of situations.
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I think I know where you may be going here. Don’t let the failures of Catholic leadership or the fact that most of the Catholic aren’t interested in following their own faith be an impediment.

I’m more right-wing too, but I also recognize the management and ideological failures of the secular portions of the Church.

Specifically, you talked about doctrines. However, things like “climate change” or virtue-signaling on immigration or the refugee crisis are not doctrines. Those are different opinions and frankly the leadership has taken up some really bad stances on these issues because they are out of touch and expect us to by into lame excuses like “priests and so and so are busy”.

A lot of this stems from people wanting so badly to maintain this false idea that the right and left in the Western world are equally for the Church. It’s an intellectually lazy argument at best and a bald-faced lie at worst.
Tails said:
, or anything else on being an adult that I “missed” on here. I don’t want to hear the emotional manipulation of “well, you’ll be with Jesus and you wouldn’t worry about that stuff” or “God has something better planned for us”,
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Anyone who tells you that is welcome to try and practice their faith openly in China, Saudi Arabia or even Moscow. And if they are thrown in jail or killed, they can just tell him/herself “God’s plan”. Roughly the same justification I hear from women who stay in abusive relationships.
 
That bible verse regards the resurrected nature of the human person in heaven, in which sex will be unnecessary.
Tails said:
All the message we ever hear is that all our passions and desires here is “sinful and corrupt” no matter what. I have pretty much heard that same message 99% of my life on the subject. There is just a large narrative that people extract from it.
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Well, that’s not true.
This quote from the Catechism may help you

"God is love and in himself he lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in his own image . . … God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion."115

“God created man in his own image . . . male and female he created them”;116 He blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply”;117 "When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created."118

additionally,

http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm
 
Hmmm don’t know about that. I remember one time a priest saying something like the marriage bed is our altar and to get busy lol.
 
What does “reaching Heaven on earth” mean here?

Oh, sorry but does “earth” need to be capitalized or not?
 
Tails said:
I feel like me being formerly involved in the faith of Christianity has contributed to me being depressed and in psychological decline
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How exactly do you think your former involvement did that?
Tails said:
We should save our concerns not for this world, but the next, and God is the only one who is in control of society’s ultimate collective destiny”
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Whoever is teaching that wasn’t teaching Christianity. God is in control to an extent, but you decide your eternal destiny via choosing or rejecting God. Which denomination were you involved in?
Tails said:
Then, it makes me sad that God wants to wipe away the “good” things that we got to enjoy on this earth like having children and relationships with the opposite sex, or anything else on being an adult that I “missed” on here.
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Can you restate that but I’m not sure what that means. God doesn’t want to wipe away those things, again, whoever said that is wrong.
 
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I think earth would be lowercase lol. At least that’s what I was taught.

Heaven is essentially union with God. On earth we see things through a dark veil. We have no idea of our own misery and often mask it subconsciously by pursuing the world, chasing success, partying excessively, drinking, shopping for things we don’t need, etc.

But if we decide, “Okay, you know what? I’m done with this. This isn’t bringing me happiness. I want to find God.” Thats when the veil begins to be drawn. That’s God working through the soul in order to bring it closer to Him.

St. Teresa of Avila had a vision of the soul as a diamond in the shape of a castle containing seven mansions, which she interpreted as the journey of faith through seven stages, ending with union with God.

The seventh mansion is when we are closest to God. We can reach that here. But when we die, we get even more than that. We get the beatific vision! Imagine all the beautiful gardens and sunsets and times where you looked at something with gratitude for its beauty. Heaven is 1 zillion times better than that because the beatific vision is actually that amazing. We just can’t fully comprehend that because of the dark veil that shields our spiritual eyes.
 
Isn’t the Garden of Eden before Adam and Eve fell described in a similar way too?
 
Yes. I’ve heard it said by a saint that man was created in order to fill the vast number of empty spots left by the fallen angels. Once we fill those spots, there’s no more need to multiply.

I do think the Garden of Eden closely reflects what we will find in Heaven. Perfection in everything without any labor, nothing dies, and everything is abundant. And completely satisfied in the soul.
 
Are you Catholic? Which doctrine are you specifically referring to
 
I get it, as been there done that and there are still times I wonder, “what the heck!”

What attracted me to Christianity (from atheism) is in large measure the teaching that “God is love”.

The Kingdom of God was established on earth by Jesus. So St. Paul taught the first Christian converts, to LIVE this reality: “Live as children of the light.”

Indeed, the world works against us, and sometimes our own Christian fellows and sometimes we work against ourselves. We are all sinners.

My only advice can be, to seek to be a disciple of Christ. Abide in Him. Hang around with others who are seeking th same. That does not mean that fellow seekers of Christ are perfect. If we were perfect we would have no need of Jesus Christ. Or, in other words, there are two doctrines that go hand in hand: sin and grace. Look for,and recognize the gifts from God.

God bless you and I pray you find peace.
 
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Well it’s true. The only thing shocking was actually hearing a priest give a homily on the subject. The Catholic Church is not anti sex. It teaches only that we follow the design that God has for sexuality.
 
Tails said:
I feel so hurt by mainstream doctrine of the churches today.
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Such as?
Tails said:
the only message I’ve gotten depressed and tired about being drilled into me was “We should save our concerns not for this world, but the next, and God is the only one who is in control of society’s ultimate collective destiny”.
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We should have deep concern for this world and work to bring about the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. Have you ever read any of the papal social encyclicals? It’s very clear that the Church is concerned about the temporal order as well as the spiritual and that the two aren’t separate but very much unified. The good we do here is continued and finds it’s fulfillment in Heaven.

From the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/p...6_compendio-dott-soc_en.html#The lay faithful
  1. The essential characteristic of the lay faithful who work in the Lord’s vineyard (cf. Mt 20:1-16) is the secular nature of their Christian discipleship, which is carried out precisely in the world. “It belongs to the laity to seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them according to God’s will”
  2. It is the proper duty of the lay faithful to proclaim the Gospel with an exemplary witness of life rooted in Christ and lived in temporal realities: the family; professional commitment in the world of work, culture, science and research; the exercise of social, economic and political responsibilities. All secular human realities — both personal and social, including various environments and historical situations, as well as structures and institutions — are the context in which the lay Christian lives and works.
  3. …Bringing faith and life together requires following the path judiciously indicated by the characteristic elements of Christian living: the Word of God as a reference point; the liturgical celebration of the Christian Mystery; personal prayer; the authentic experience of Church enhanced by the particular formational services of discerning spiritual guides; the exercise of the social virtues and a persevering commitment to cultural and professional formation.
 
Tails said:
Then, it makes me sad that God wants to wipe away the “good” things that we got to enjoy on this earth like having children and relationships with the opposite sex, or anything else on being an adult that I “missed” on here.
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They aren’t wiped away. They are brought to their ultimate fulfillment in the marriage supper of the Lamb; the wedding feast of Christ the Bridegroom and the Church, His Bride. All of us as members of the Body of the Church will be one with Christ and each other. This doesn’t mean our distinctions will be wiped away. We will still be male and female. We will still know those who were our family and friends here on earth.

There are always going to be feelings of grief and sadness if we don’t achieve our wants and desires in this life or if life doesn’t turn out how we thought it would and that’s ok to feel that way.

It’s not ok to let it depress us to the point that we don’t look at what God is calling us to do right now despite our circumstances. There is still a lot of good we can do no matter our state in life and we should be getting busy about doing it. For some that might be big and great things in the world and for others it’s more local and personal in our everyday one-on-one relationships and encounters. Both are very necessary and both are needed in this world.
Tails said:
When I get the chance to talk to God, I want to have a firm, stern talk about how I didn’t get to enjoy certain things on this earth and how there is no opposite-sex relationships or child-rearing in Heaven (whatever happened to God saying calling sex/intimacy and romantic relationships “all good”?) or any other things here that aren’t supposed to be evil by nature. If it’s really true that we won’t get any chances to enjoy that same kind of drive anymore, I also want to ask him to either put me in non-existence for the rest of eternity or enjoy the gift of eternity as a hermit.
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I think you should have this talk with God. There are many good things on this earth that will be fulfilled in Heaven. Perhaps not in the way they are now because they are just faint images of their full spiritual reality, but they will be fulfilled in ways we can’t begin to imagine here.

It’s good that you recognize the beauty and goodness in these things. Many people don’t and abuse their sexuality and those they are in relationship with.

It’s also good to desire these good things but we can develop an inordinate attachment to them. By inordinate I mean having a greater attachment to them over goods that are higher and greater than these temporal goods. You may want to read up on spiritual detachment. It’s a term that means roughly putting things in their proper place of importance in terms of whether they are evil or in terms of them being lower or higher goods.

Here’s an article that may help you understand detachment better.

 
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