I feel manipulated and hurt by religious doctrine. Why do I want to have a relationship with God?

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What Christian denomination are you?

While it is true that we should save our concerns for the hereafter, it is not true that God wants to control society ultimate collective destiny. It is up to each individual; we have full control and free will to choose which way it will be for us.
 
Now let me append to this subject, sorry to bump.

The problem is that I don’t want to reason with those who seem to take it as absolute cold reality that we will no longer have a “need” for romantic relationships and even procreation in Heaven. You can’t reason with a person who wants to callously ignore you and tell you that you won’t get a partner in Heaven, even if you can’t find one here on Earth. I was told before that I must be “obsessive” about it. It’s very easy for them to say when they rub their own beautiful relationships in other’s face.

What is also hard is that most women of most demographic groups say they prefer taller men. I’m not saying I’m totally doomed, but I remained 5’7" at the end of high school, while most other guys became taller than me. I want to be taller than I am here, I want my dream body in Heaven. I wish I could have the chance to be “normal” like other males my age.

I don’t know if I can cover all of my being frustrated, but I feel like theoretically God or cruel, arrogant people want to give me a slap in the face.
 
But what’s the “proper design”?

Even in a wider secular world, masturbation and viewing pornography mostly partaken by men is seen as a less acceptable “sin” than women’s marching for abortion rights. Hmmm…

And I wish that everyone will stop trying to compare being attracted to “sexy, beautiful women” as if it necessarily was “just lust” for some people and not anything else. Not that there is anything wrong with attraction, that’s fun too, but it’s not like we forget about other aspects too.
 
Hitler and Napoleon were not particularly tall. I hoped what both had done had nothing to do with their bitterness of their stature.

Maradona and Messi are also not particularly tall. The former is 5’4" while Messi is about your height. They are some of the most talented and successful athletes ever, in the world of football, that by their sheer talent they have earned millions

It is not your look or how many inches taller or shorter you are, it is what you do with it.

There would be always women who find quality in character rather than built.

Nothing to do with God.

God bless you.
 
Sometimes, people are very strange … the idea of rejecting God, for example.

He is the INFINITE CREATOR … and we are merely very finite and very limited creations.
 
“ they just want to go after you - and your vulnerabilities “ ?

Catholic believers ?
I dont think so.

I’ve never seen mass end like that.
 
Tails said:
When I get the chance to talk to God,
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Why don’t you talk to Him every day? Prayer is a dialogue with God, or as Padre Pio described, Prayer is the oxygen of the soul.
Here’s a talk I would recommend you sit back and listen to. This fellow had a mystical experience after living a terrible life and now has an apostolate approved by the Church:

 
Things seem bad now, but it is the Hope of salvation that puts things into perspective…sometimes we feel cursed, but that curse is really a blessing…it the great paradox of the Gospel:

Matthew 5:3

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

1 Peter 1:3-7

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy we have been born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and to an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

May peace be with you!
 
Hiya Tails, Well, you sound exactly like me when I was a bit younger. I was scarred by religion to where I had to take therapy. I feared the world would end before I’d get to have sex. I resented that the heaven I was taught about would not be a place of much fun, but supposedly one where I was expected to just gaze adoringly at Jesus night and day. And will there be beer in heaven? There better be! So you are not alone, my friend.

I can’t tell you what to do or how to think, but I can tell you a few things that have helped me along, especially as some of these feelings still linger as I enter my 60’s. The first thing I needed to understand is that I will always approach these things from a purely human standpoint. One of the failings of this which we must all live with is that we somehow interpret that even in the afterlife we will still be human and have human needs and desires. And it’s easy to explain how the emotions and passions we all experience are fueled by chemicals in the blood stream. I have had to deal with panic and anxiety attacks my whole adult life. Knowing that these sensations are nothing more than chemicals being put in the blood by organs within my body made them much easer to understand.

The same is true of the natural lust for sex that begins with hormones pouring in as we enter our teens. Do they really need to be that overpowering? Well, I didn’t invent them so I can’t say, but I didn’t like it and kind of enjoy the waning effect they’re finally having.

One point you raised, " _it makes me sad that God wants to wipe away the “good” things that we got to enjoy on this earth " I coped with this by finally realizing that the things we enjoy on the earth are not going to be “wiped away”, we will just outgrow them, or have no further need for them. They have a purpose now that will not exist when we are elevated to the spiritual form of life. We will enter a true reality and awaken from this dream we call human life.

That’s just a few of the thoughts I’d like to share but I’m kind of pressed for time. I will be back, however, so don’t lose heart. Blessings to you.
-CW
 
There will be much good in Heaven, but most of all we rely not on mere goods. But the ultimate Good in the Beautific Vision, which is ultimately and absolutely fulfilling. Nothing at all shall be lacking.

You can start by praying to God. Give everything, but have a conversation and not a monologue (difficult I know). Pray, go to the Sacraments.
 
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Tails said:
Hi to everybody on here. I have a problem that I’m not shaking. Here it goes:
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Fortunately, most of the teachings you mention as objectionable are not Catholic teachings.

As for there being no sex in heaven, that’s not true either. There most certainly will be sex in heaven: we will still be male and female. And although we will not be given to each other in marriage as we are now, we won’t miss it in the least because we will have something vastly better.

I’m reminded of how when I was very small and chocolate was the greatest good I could imagine, I’d have been outraged if you had told me that I wouldn’t be feasting on Snickers bars on my wedding night.
 
I guess I can somewhat empathize. I look a certain way and it’s not like I would easily get someone when I finally decide to start dating, lol.

I’m 5’0. Most women my height won’t mind your height at all. A lot of us don’t want to use a ladder to kiss a dude. My brothers are around that height so I get the insecurity. You could try dating Asians, lol, since we are generally shorter.
Tails said:
I wish I could have the chance to be “normal” like other males my age.
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I wish I could be a smoking hot woman too, but like…it literally won’t matter in heaven. This sort of things only matter here. I won’t tell you to get over it because life here genuinely sucks and thinking about heaven won’t magically make everyone around you good. But it makes more sense to want to look a certain way here than there because this is the only place where your looks have an impact on anything.

But yeah, let’s say you look the way you have always wanted to in heaven. So what? Would people there treat you better (like they would on Earth)? Nope, since heaven is filled with saints. They’ll treat you and an ugly dude exactly the same.
 
Hello again, my friend. There is, of course, an entirely different way to approach our trials and travails, the adversity and pain of physical and emotional pressures, temptations and disappointment. I highly recommend it, but it takes tremendous self discipline.

I am a huge fan of the dessert fathers, the early Christian monks who sought solace and solitude in the Egyptian dessert from roughly the third to the sixth centuries. I currently own four books which are collections of their wisdom and attitudes to living. Here is one of my favorites;
  • The disciple of a great hermit was tempted by lust. When the hermit perceived what he was struggling with he said, ‘shall I ask the Lord to release you from your trouble?’ But the disciple said, ‘Father, though I see it is a painful struggle I am profiting from having to carry this burden. But ask God in your prayers that He will give me enough patience to endure it.’ Then his Abba said to him, ‘Now I know that you are far advanced, my son, and beyond me.’
We all complain of our lot in life, but receive very little if any satisfaction from this exercise. It is far more beneficial to accept what we cannot change and embrace the challenge created by them. If we can look at our disappointments with an eye to overcoming the feelings they arouse within us, then we are well on the way to becoming more Christ-like in all things.
 
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CelticWarlord:
And will there be beer in heaven? There better be! So you are not alone, my friend.
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I probably wouldn’t want to have the beer up there. There should be wine up there because, y’know… 😃
 
Lea101:
Yeah, I guess some things don’t matter in Heaven like they do here. But, I just hope that we who longed for it get to be together with an eternal partner like Adan & Eve were. That was God’s first creation.
 
This teaching that relationships/families down here are ultimately a sign of something “better” and the rest of the narrative more generally make me depressed/sad. I don’t want to accept that it will be replaced when we get up there, no matter of how people try to dress it up. It’s such a unique relationship bond he created us to enjoy.

If that is what I should accept by wanting to follow God and Jesus.
 
You want to have a relationship with God because no one knows you or loves you more than He does.

He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of your sins. He wants you to spend eternity with Him.

God is not doctrine. He is the One who created you. He wants you to enjoy your life on this earth. But true joy comes through knowing and having a relationship with Him. It doesn’t come from the things of this world.

He gave you your earthly life. He gives His children eternal life. Don’t pass up the opportunity to accept His invitation. Give your life to Him and know what true happiness is.
 
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Not sure if this will help or not, Tails, but my wife and I have both said that when either of us winds up single, and one of us eventually will, we have no wish to ever again do the “dating” thing. It’s been good for both of us, we’ve been married 37 years, but not something either of us wish to repeat. Anyone who “misses out” by remaining single is blessed in many ways and we both look forward to that life alone once again.
 
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