I feel ostracized

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Zeldarocks2

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I think I’m done with Christianity, and religion in general…

I feel that the Church has ostracized me, and that the rules and laws of the Church are making my life more stressful and complicated…

I was happy when I was a humanist, I’m miserable now as a Catholic.

I’ve said this before: but I’ll either kill myself, or I’ll leave the Church…

I can’t do this anymore…
 
Peace be with you Brother/sister. (I am guessing sister).

Please tell us what has happened. Why do you feel this way?

Dominus vobiscum.
 
I’m sorry for your situation…it sounds like you are hurting quite a bit.

I’m concerned for you, based on what you wrote in your post. Please, please, please…don’t do anything rash. Pick up the phone and call a suicide hotline or 911. There are people who can help.
 
Get off the computer and pick up the phone right now. Call 1-800-273-8255 (Suicide hotline). Then call a cab or 911, or have a friend drive you to the nearest emergency room. Tell them you are suicidal.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation.

If you feel you are not suicidal, but are in a dark place spiritually and emotionally, please speak to your priest and your Doctor…first thing in the morning.

Prayers for you…
Lord, our God, you graciously chose St. Dymphna as patroness of those afflicted with mental and nervous disorders. She is thus an inspiration and a symbol of charity to the thousands who ask her intercession.

Please grant, Lord, through the prayers of this pure youthful martyr, relief and consolation to all suffering such trials, and especially this soul for whom we pray.

We beg you, Lord, to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna on our behalf. Grant all those for whom we pray patience in their sufferings and resignation to your divine will. Please fill them with hope, and grant them the relief and cure they so much desire.

We ask this through Christ our Lord who suffered agony in the garden.

Our Father…

Hail Mary…
 
May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.
 
One word: Homosexuality.

This has brought me to the brink once before, and is threatening to do so yet again.

I understand the Church’s teaching on the issue, I understand the Natural Law arguments from Aquinas, and I understand Humanae Vitae and its implications.

I have made an intellectual ascent to the teaching of the Catholic Church, but I cannot make an emotional, conscientious ascent to the teaching in question.
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
One word: Homosexuality.

This has brought me to the brink once before, and is threatening to do so yet again.

I understand the Church’s teaching on the issue, I understand the Natural Law arguments from Aquinas, and I understand Humanae Vitae and its implications.

I have made an intellectual ascent to the teaching of the Catholic Church, but I cannot make an emotional, conscientious ascent to the teaching in question.
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Can you be willing to be willing to be willing? Same sex attraction does not have to define you. It does not make God love you any less. We don’t have to see the complete pathway of our lives–that’s too overwhelming, by far. But willing to be willing to see what tomorrow brings–there can be joy.

Prayers for you, my friend.

Romans 8:37-39
37But in all these things we overcome, because of him that hath loved us. 38For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor might, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 
I haven’t prayed in 3 days, I was going to do the 33 day Consecration, but cannot bring myself to it.

God and I aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment…
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
I haven’t prayed in 3 days, I was going to do the 33 day Consecration, but cannot bring myself to it.

God and I aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment…
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I get it.

but just try to talk to him, one day you will have the clarity you desire.

the emotional consent will come
 
Try looking up “Courage.” They’re a Catholic Ministry that directly focuses on people who have SSA. I pray that you will find the help that you may need and the loving embrace of our Heavenly Father. God bless and God love you.
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
One word: Homosexuality.

This has brought me to the brink once before, and is threatening to do so yet again.

I understand the Church’s teaching on the issue, I understand the Natural Law arguments from Aquinas, and I understand Humanae Vitae and its implications.

I have made an intellectual ascent to the teaching of the Catholic Church, but I cannot make an emotional, conscientious ascent to the teaching in question.
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Do you have a problem with the Church’s teaching on homosexuality in general, or for you personally?
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
I haven’t prayed in 3 days, I was going to do the 33 day Consecration, but cannot bring myself to it.

God and I aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment…
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:grouphug: Start small, and with what you can.

I’ll say this one for you/with you…Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Tomorrow, you do the same. One foot, as they say, in front of the other. Call your priest (I still say your doctor may not be a bad idea) and get hold of Courage.

You are loved.
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
I think I’m done with Christianity, and religion in general…

I feel that the Church has ostracized me, and that the rules and laws of the Church are making my life more stressful and complicated…

I was happy when I was a humanist, I’m miserable now as a Catholic.

I’ve said this before: but I’ll either kill myself, or I’ll leave the Church…

I can’t do this anymore…
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I’m so sorry you are hurting. Do not stay in a church community that makes you miserable.

Also, do not dismiss a church community for their rules and regulations if their people make you love yourself and want to seek a closer relationship with Christ.

I’m a total Church Girl and I do not ostracize you. I expect that most of my Christian brethren on this fine forum feel the same way that I do.

All my prayers lifted towards you. God loves you. That is the only Truth to focus on.
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
One word: Homosexuality.

This has brought me to the brink once before, and is threatening to do so yet again.

I understand the Church’s teaching on the issue, I understand the Natural Law arguments from Aquinas, and I understand Humanae Vitae and its implications.

I have made an intellectual ascent to the teaching of the Catholic Church, but I cannot make an emotional, conscientious ascent to the teaching in question.
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Have you watched the film
Desire of the Everlasting Hills"?
If not, do so.
It’s very good.

everlastinghills.org/
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
Maybe both?
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I am sorry you are struggling right now.

I can say that when I go through a very tough patch, I come out much better when I tell God “I don’t understand (fill in the blank), but I only seek to do your will.”

Also, have you tried praying to St. Padre Pio for intercession? If not, I suggest asking him to help you, too.

Hang in there and know you are loved! 🙂
 
Zeldarocks2 said:
I haven’t prayed in 3 days, I was going to do the 33 day Consecration, but cannot bring myself to it.

God and I aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment…
Click to expand...
Hi Zelda, I have different struggles, but I’m struggling now too and praying for you. I think this part of the year is hard–Lent–for a lot of people. But some are suffering more than others. I am suffering somewhat now but I used to be miserable all the time. I’m not pushing you to do anything that isn’t right for you. But for me personally, a major part of my psycho-spiritual healing is depending on Mary as my mother (I did the 33 days for the first time about a year and a half ago I guess). Everyone’s life is different and your anguish may be beyond what I’ve experienced. I know that the Blessed Mother is with us all and will bring us to the joy of Christ if we let her.
 
I just finished with my major prayers for the day, but I will gladly say an extra prayer for comfort in your heart, soul and mind. Please don’t harm yourself and please don’t rush to leave the church. None of us is perfect. If everyone who disagreed with some aspect of church teaching left the church, we probably wouldn’t have enough Catholics to fill a single parish. If everyone who struggled with sin left, there would be no one, not even the Pope. We are not perfect and all we can do is trust the church which God established for us. Take time to figure out if you really disagree with the teaching or if you just don’t want to agree with it; either answer can lead your path. Even if you decide that you just simply cannot agree, you may change your heart over time or God may find a way for you to live with your disagreement.

When you are not feeling suicidal, please feel free to contact me privately. I’d love to gently discuss this with you without judging you. I will keep you in my prayers for a while, and you will always be in God’s heart.
 
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