I feel stuck

[Anglewannabe]

I have not work in over a year. Well… I did try a few things that did NOT work out and obviously I just did them for the pay cheque. I semi suspected it was not a good idea but I took these jobs because I though beggars can not be choosers.

So I am at the point, even if I was offered a good job, I do not have the confidence I would be able to perform.

The ONLY comfort and joy I have is when I read before bed Christian books about doing God’s will. I will wake up some days and be productive ie go to the gym, clean my apartment and prepare healthy meals. But if I managed to do that for 3 days in a row, it is a major accomplishment. Then I crash and spend a week simply sleeping and eating.

The worst thing is, I have NO one to talk to about this. I am so fed up with hearing ‘Have you tried this? Have you tried that?’ I no longer can take it. People seem to feel obligated to offer practical solutions yet are oblivious to how insensitive they are being. Or when I do share about an interview where I was struggling to be polite to a very rude person who obviously did not intend on hiring me, people will act like I was wrong to struggle and make me feel bad. No compassion for the fact that I am at the mercy of this rude interview and tried really hard to be professional regardless of my inside feelings.

The worst is when I do try to assert myself and say ‘When you said xyz it really hurt me, please don’t say that anymore’. People will act like I was rude for confronting them and put guilt trips on me ‘I was helping you’ or they will negate my feelings and insinuating there is something massively flawed about me for being hurt. It is a very lonely place to be.

Now that I had my vent, comes the question. I would LOVE to know what God wants me to learn and I would LOVE to do His will. But I don’t know what that is. Reading books about His will is VERY comforting, yet, how do I put the book down and actually do His will?

ARGGHHHHHH

Angie

 

[Truly_Blessed_1]

Hi Angie,

Great on you for having that commitment to God’s will! That is a huge part of faith, and it is often very difficult to desire his will over our own. You obviously have a level of faith that many Christians wish they could have!

I find myself asking the same question: What do I do to make God’s will for me happen? It’s something that I have prayed quite a bit over. I read on a separate Catholic site that if you pray about it, then he will instill a desire in your heart to do exactly what he wants you to do, and for me personally it is beginning to happen.

Know that I have said a prayer for you, and hope that you will find what God wants you to do. Who knows? Given the information that you provided, it could be something amazing and beyond imagination! The best part of this site is that nobody who posts on here has ever met in person, but we grow in faith together; especially when we are in similar boats. God bless!

Your Brother in Christ,
Dan

 

[CAshtn16]

Hi

I think it’s great that you are managing to stay close to the Lord and are focusing your efforts

My husband has been unemployed for 2 years now, and after a stroke and ileostomy is facing an uncertain future. Keeping motivated when unemployed is a full time job and I think you’re doing amazingly well staying focused the way you do

It’s always hard to know WHAT to do in terms of following the Lord more closely. I am in much the same position as you, all the books in the world don’t help you to DO much. They may give you advice as to tyour state of health, religious or otherwise, but it can be frustrating practically

For me seeing that others struggle as I do helps me to carry on struggling. Knowing you are not alone in the struggle helps me to come outside of myself and pray for other’s situation. Sometimes, and I stress, only sometimes, you look back and think yes, helping that person helped me

I hope that helps you somehow

 

[ephesians4]

The worst thing is, I have NO one to talk to about this. I am so fed up with hearing ‘Have you tried this? Have you tried that?’ I no longer can take it. People seem to feel obligated to offer practical solutions yet are oblivious to how insensitive they are being. Or when I do share about an interview where I was struggling to be polite to a very rude person who obviously did not intend on hiring me, people will act like I was wrong to struggle and make me feel bad. No compassion for the fact that I am at the mercy of this rude interview and tried really hard to be professional regardless of my inside feelings.

The worst is when I do try to assert myself and say ‘When you said xyz it really hurt me, please don’t say that anymore’. People will act like I was rude for confronting them and put guilt trips on me ‘I was helping you’ or they will negate my feelings and insinuating there is something massively flawed about me for being hurt. It is a very lonely place to be.

I know how you feel. It will not last forever if you take action.

Now that I had my vent, comes the question. I would LOVE to know what God wants me to learn and I would LOVE to do His will. But I don’t know what that is. Reading books about His will is VERY comforting, yet, how do I put the book down and actually do His will?

Firstly: I AM NOT JUDGING YOU. You may hate my comment, but please read it just in case. I have been in exactly the kind of situation and state of mind you describe, for longer. I know how stuck you are, I know how hard this thing is, and I have escaped it through the grace of God. Here is what I would say to myself through a time tunnel:

These people are in fact giving you what you need, and the resistance you feel against it is the natural resistance we feel towards things that are hard, bloody hard and that we don’t want to hear.

God and other people are proffering you the love and the opportunity here, and I know it can be almost impossible to swallow the excuses, the emotions, the pride, the inertia, the vital reasons why you must not apply their advice, and do it.

It is perfectly possible for the demon on your shoulder to encourage you to divert into books about Christianity, or any other thing, as an escape from dealing with your life and taking the steps you need to begin a fulfilling life again.

You are being lied to by yourself, by temptation, whatever it is, and this happens to us without us realising it:

The reasons it is impossible are lies.
The *strong emotional reactions you get when someone tells you what you don’t want to hear *are lies.
The absolute pressing necessity to concentrate on something else instead of this thing in front of you, is a lie.

Here is something to do for a start:

• Before you do anything, start praying every day to God expressing your love to him. At some point consider asking for the strength of a lion to pull yourself together and address the problems in your life. Do this long before you start doing anything, but do it every day, and every day mean it from your heart. The near future is not going to be easy, it is going to be hellish hard work, but it is a battle you are going to win with God’s grace.
• Know that for every minute of ease you have taken, you have made every minute of work that is to come ten times harder. Get used to the idea that you have a few years of real slog ahead of you to get your life on track. Commit yourself (as selfish as it sounds, I don’t think it is) to building up your morale when you work with every treat you can manage, at least initially. Gird yourself.
• Start applying your insight by tipping what people say about work, on their heads - if it makes you feel emotionally labile, or indignant, consider the possibility that it is actually not a* bad* thing you’re hearing, but actually just what you don’t want to hear, and therefore quite possibly something very useful and good for you to hear.
• Remember that you mostly don’t tell people how to help themselves, that you don’t care at all about. Go easy on those around you, and try not to be too hard on them if they have no way of relating to your reaction to their help. It might just not make any sense to them and seem rude.

Life is reaching out to you across a terrifying chasm my friend, you can step over it with the help of our Lord.

The odd thing is that if you gird yourself for the worst as I have described, you will look back on it and think it was pretty easy overall, considering what you got out of it.

~ Time tunnel closes

As I said, I have been in what looks like a similar situation but am by no means an expert. Do feel free to PM me if you want

God bless you, and much love.

 

[agnes_therese]

Anglewannabe – this sounds like you could possibly be suffering from depression. Do you have a family doctor? Or access to mental-health professionals?

 

[marysfiat]

Your human, and suffering is normal. It is annoying… feels like old annoying record in life…focus on the good three days…oh well…even if its an hour…practice “until” … guilt is a beautiful thing…people give the word a bad wrap…can u imagine if we didnt feel guilty about being lazy??..also remember tell yourself things you would tell your child if your child came to you with the issue of being stuck…what advice would you give your child??..bottom line…you would love that child unconditionally…
Lets pray for eachother…if that’s o.k. with you?

 

[acadiANNA]

Praying for you during this dark time in your life. God bless you.

 

[JackieMom]

Anglewannabe – this sounds like you could possibly be suffering from depression. Do you have a family doctor? Or access to mental-health professionals?

Not being able to maintain a steady job, a feeling of helplessness about life, and spending whole days just sleeping and eating are definitely signs of severe clinical depression. OP - you need to seek mental health care immediately. Your life does not have to be this way, but you need to take the first step by making an appointment with a psychiatrist.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Your human, and suffering is normal. It is annoying… feels like old annoying record in life…focus on the good three days…oh well…even if its an hour…practice “until” … guilt is a beautiful thing…people give the word a bad wrap…can u imagine if we didnt feel guilty about being lazy??..also remember tell yourself things you would tell your child if your child came to you with the issue of being stuck…what advice would you give your child??..bottom line…you would love that child unconditionally…
Lets pray for eachother…if that’s o.k. with you?

Well… I never had kids so I am not really sure what I would say. But YES let’s pray for each other

 

[Anglewannabe]

Anglewannabe – this sounds like you could possibly be suffering from depression. Do you have a family doctor? Or access to mental-health professionals?

Yes I have a family doctor who is aware of everything

 

[marysfiat]

I dont have kids either, I do know they r the most precious humans on earth…so imagine if you were given a child to guide…just because we don’t have children, doesn’t mean one day your example will affect those children in your path. God’s will is to LOVE. I admire you for writing, what many wont admit!! Dr’s will give you meds and that is not always the solution (im not against) I just know from my own experience, that the small efforts in a positive direction will make a HUGE difference. God does not look at our failures, He looks at our efforts…The tools the church provides , like confession, adoration, Eucharist is food for your soul!! Being AWARE like you are is a gift!!! You got this!! Do u realize how many people r not even aware!! Serious Gods will …is LOVE. period. And yes, we will both have our setbacks daily, God warned us! When they happen, know with faith. “This too shall pass” He’s in control. SERIOUS. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS and thanks for taking time for me too!

 

[Anglewannabe]

Firstly: I AM NOT JUDGING YOU. You may hate my comment, but please read it just in case…

Whether you intend to judge me or not is irrelevant. Action speaks louder than words and your lecture is insensitive

These people are in fact giving you what you need, and the resistance you feel against it is the natural resistance we feel towards things that are hard, bloody hard and that we don’t want to hear…

No these people are suggesting I do things I already tried (insinuating I am not intelligent to think of them on my own) and DON"T work. When the reality is, they never had to do it themselves

God and other people are proffering you the love and the opportunity here, and I know it can be almost impossible to swallow the excuses, the emotions, the pride, the inertia, the vital reasons why you must not apply their advice, and do it…

God is LOVE. Often other people are just controlling and like to shoot their mouths off to feel better about themselves by putting others down. I think I know when someone is caring or not. There is such a thing as a healthy boundary. And telling me I need to listen to every Tom, Dick and Harry is not nice. It is just making me an easy target for manipulative people

It is perfectly possible for the demon on your shoulder to encourage you to divert into books about Christianity, or any other thing, as an escape from dealing with your life and taking the steps you need to begin a fulfilling life again…

It is possible for God to show me His love through books. You do not know His will for me and whether He wants me working or reading right now

You are being lied to by yourself, by temptation, whatever it is, and this happens to us without us realising it:

The reasons it is impossible are lies.
The *strong emotional reactions you get when someone tells you what you don’t want to hear *are lies.
The absolute pressing necessity to concentrate on something else instead of this thing in front of you, is a lie…

Huh ???

• Know that for every minute of ease you have taken, you have made every minute of work that is to come ten times harder. Get used to the idea that you have a few years of real slog ahead of you to get your life on track. Commit yourself (as selfish as it sounds, I don’t think it is) to building up your morale when you work with every treat you can manage, at least initially. Gird yourself…

You make it sound like God expects me to kill myself to get and job and think of nothing but the job and myself ??? Weird !

• • Start applying your insight by tipping what people say about work, on their heads - if it makes you feel emotionally labile, or indignant, consider the possibility that it is actually not a* bad* thing you’re hearing, but actually just what you don’t want to hear, and therefore quite possibly something very useful and good for you to hear…

And in case I did not make this clear earlier, there is the strong possibility the reason I don’t like it is because they are wrong for saying it. I refuse to put myself at the mercy of what everyone else has to say

 

[ephesians4]

Whether you intend to judge me or not is irrelevant. Action speaks louder than words and your lecture is insensitive
…
telling me I need to listen to every Tom, Dick and Harry is not nice. It is just making me an easy target for manipulative people
…
I refuse to put myself

I’m sorry you choose to take it that way. There was not the slightest glimmer of anything but trying to be helpful, in it.

You probably missed the bit where I said “if I could tell myself of a few years ago” and rushed to react. We would all be hard on ourselves in that context, I think, and I only really posted it in case my personal insight might be of use.

As I’m not hugely invested in your life and well-being (no offence), I cannot expend the requisite amount of time and energy trying to convince you in the face of such a reaction, unlike those who obviously do care about you.

I hope that you get yourself sorted out, God bless.

 

[marysfiat]

The hardest part to read from advice above was" you will have years . real slog ahead of you" please don’t believe that( respecting the advice giver)You are what you think! Its proven, over and over. You will have good and bad days, like the rest of the world. Your going to have the next few years better and stronger! Repitition is the mother of all learning! Repeat good not negative…

 

[ephesians4]

The hardest part to read from advice above was" you will have years . real slog ahead of you" please don’t believe that( respecting the advice giver)You are what you think! Its proven, over and over. You will have good and bad days, like the rest of the world. Your going to have the next few years better and stronger! Repitition is the mother of all learning! Repeat good not negative…

Meh - that’s how I feel about it looking back at it, having gone through the process of climbing back into regular life from the kind of motivational rock bottom the OP describes, upwards. I didn’t realise I needed to sugar coat everything so much, or that the idea of things being hard would present such an obstacle - but perhaps it’s a cultural thing.

Anyway, it was a frankly bit embarrassing and horrid opening up about it to offer some genuine insight, so as it is clearly excrement that isn’t going to help the OP I shall go and do something else.

Good luck, OP.

 

[marysfiat]

Aww…life is not about sugar coating…its about truth. I have nothing but respect as I stated. We just can’t predict the same journey for anyone! Getting up in the morning is" hard work" for anyone having struggles. “Predicting” for the next few years…yikes!That was my only concern:heart: you will be an amazing OP. God told us this journey of life would be rough. The agony in the garden speaks for itself. As we join our sufferings with Christ, a joyful journey is possible…Mother Teresa is a great example…our feelings inside don’t dictate our actions. Thats true love. Because positive actions are positive results. Regardless of how we “feel” at times. And positive results is our hearts desire, that is why we act respectful, even when we get challenged. (Atleast we do our God’s best)…by the way…I also experienced this:heart: and we both have different journeys. It is learning to LOVE…that is what “GOD” is I study with the lay Dominicans. Never give up! Thanks and please forgive me if I offended you.

 

[marysfiat]

Above response was for ephesians4 (I’m new at this forum communication) so I’m not to sure how the threads work?? And Im using my phone…so I hope message got to the correct place…

 

[Slowride]

Hi Angie!

Oh, have I been there before. I have had so many different types of jobs, every time I counted on our God, Jehova-jira (God our provider) to get me through.

Or, get a man, and let him worry about the bills. Believe me, there are men who don’t mind if a woman doesn’t have a career.

For some reason I don’t have any doubt things will work out for you. I have enough faith for you too.

Remember - it is impossible to please God without faith. I love that verse. I wake up each morning and REMIND God that I am HIS responsibility.And then trust. We do not live by sight.

Sometimes after I pray, I clap my hands together and say with enthusiasm- okay Lord, let’s put on the day! And that is even if I have to fake it.

And when I am weak, I remind myself of the verse, in my weakness I find my strength!(paraphrased)

You are promised the same as I. You might not know it yet, but Christs’ strength is coming through you loud and clear to me!

God’s will is easy - All he wants us to do is trust. I have been shown so much grace when I know I didn’t deserve it, because I refused not to trust in His love for me. And my sorrowful times I trusted were for His purpose I did not need to understand. I personally accepted this reality and I believe it blessed Him as much as it blessed me.

I hope that you hope. I pray that you hope. I personally would pray tomorrow when you wake up and remind the Lord that you are His responsibilty. And be bold about it!

'Lord, you created me and I remind you that you are the one who said, “I will never let you out of my hand.” And if I cannot count on YOUR promises. Then what is the use of your promises. I will trust in you and I expect your love for me to provide for me in my deepest needs.!

I personally don’t think the Lord likes whimpy prayers. Be bold. He tells us in His word to come to His throne of grace with boldness. I have said it before and I will say it again - be bold when you come to His throne of Grace. And believe it, everytime we come to Him in prayer, we are appoaching His throne of grace.

I needed this too after reading what i wrote. Someone began a thread on here "what book increased yur faith?{ I relpied, my own prayer book tfor increased faith. Everyone should have one.

 

[Viki63]

What job do you want to do? Generally, we can start trying to do what interests us, and it will turn out to be God’s will for us. If not, He will put roadblocks in our way.
If it is his will, he will open doors.
Have you considered doing volunteer work in a field that interests you? That way you can see what its like, and get a foot in the door.
It sounds as if you are not desperate for work, you have a place to stay and food to eat. So you can take time to find something you will enjoy.

It is recommended that we treat looking for work like a job: get up early every morning, spend 8 hours making phone calls, filling out applications, asking for informational interviews. I like informational interviews: have you done any of those? You ask for 10 or 15 minutes of an employer’s time to discuss the kind of jobs they have, the kind of skills or education they are looking for, what they look for in an employee. You are not trying to persuade them to hire you, so the pressure is off, you are just gathering information, which can be very useful.

 

[Slowride]

I will pray this morning for you to have increased faith as I do for myself everyday.

“Lord increase your childrens faith this day. Let us trust you in and through ALL things. Allow the Holy Spirit to wash every single thought that passes through our minds today. You tell us to think of high and lofty things - KEEP OUR MINDS THERE. Give us wisdom to trust that You alone know the journey You set before us. You have given each of us gifts and talents. Create a situation for us to apply these. Let all hearts not faint today. Strengthen us by Your love. I refuse not to trust in Your obligations to us which come through Your promises. Today will be a day we look for You in all our encounters. And whether we recognize them or not, we will praise You for Your faithfulness, because we do not live by sight. Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness! And if we have negative thoughts, let us raise our hand and shout, ‘Lord forgive me for not trusting in You’ and then let the thought go. And if the same thought enters back into our mind, let us continue to confess our sin of not trusting in You until it is driven out from our minds!! Humility comes when we submit to You, and You told us to come before Your Throne of Grace boldly, so we do! Lord remember, you are the Mighty One who created us from dust.In You alone we find our strength.” Glory be to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!! Amen.

Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my Spirit on you. Pv. 1:23