I feel the urge to masturbate. How can I avoid this temptation?

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GerardAubyn

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Hello all. I take reception of our Lord in the Holy Eucharist very seriously. I approach it with great reverence. If I feel as though I am not worthy of communion because I’m in a state of mortal sin, I will make a spiritual communion while attending mass like I do on days when I’m not able to celebrate mass. My last confession was last Saturday, and I haven’t viewed pornography or masturbated to ejaculation since. I can refrain from viewing pornography, but I feel an overwhelming urge to masturbate. I am not married, so I wouldn’t be committing adultery or cheating on my wife. I know the catechism says some instances can remove or reduce moral culpability for situations involving anxiety or habit. Any suggestions on what to do? Anybody else out there in a similar situation? Thanks.
 
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Suffer.
Suffer like Jesus on the most holy cross.
Every time you give in - you wilt your flower.
The wages of sin = is death.
And you become more and more effeminate.
Whoever looks upon a woman - lustfully - commits adultery -
You don’t have to be married -
 
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Don’t be alone, keep yourself busy at all times, don’t be idle. Pray a Hail Mary often.

Also, there are many threads on this topic already, you can probably read them if you want to.
 
GerardAubyn said:
but I feel an overwhelming urge to masturbate. I am not married, so I wouldn’t be committing adultery or cheating on my wife. I know the catechism says some instances can remove or reduce moral culpability for situations involving anxiety or habit. Any suggestions on what to do?
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Looks like you are searching for the elusive “masturbation loophole”. As far as i know, no one on here has found it yet.
 
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Distract yourself

Go for a run, do fast jumping jacks, go be around other people. Distract yourself in some way and preferably get very tired from heavy cardio exorcise. Then talk to people. I will be praying for you.
 
GerardAubyn said:
or masturbated to ejaculation since
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First, understand that masturbation is sinful whether you ejaculate or not. Sexual stimulation in any form is for the married only. Period. There are no work arounds or loopholes. Do not touch yourself in any way that causes arousal on purpose.
GerardAubyn said:
Any suggestions on what to do?
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Your fleshly desires have been indulged on a regular basis so have had dominion over you and need to be reigned in. They need to be brought under the submission of your spirit. To grow spiritually you will need to practice acts of self-denial. Your spirit man is out of shape and weak, so start small. Don’t put salt on your scrambled eggs. Drive in silence instead of listening to music. Drink a glass of water when all you want is a soda. Don’t sleep with a pillow one night. Eat that toast dry, no butter. Don’t impulse buy something at the store that you want. Deny yourself something, anything, one thing every day so that your body will get used to not having it’s way all the time. On your calendar or planner resolve to write down at the end of each day a specific way in which you denied yourself something that day. Don’t let this be some abstract concept, write it down so you can see your progress and stay motivated and accountable to yourself and your goals.

How can you bench press the heavy stuff if you don’t train everyday with the small weights? Be real with yourself and ask your spirit “Do you even lift, bro?” 😉

And pray a daily rosary. If you can’t muster it, then start with a decade a day. Start somewhere, that’s the point.
 
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When you feel the urge, start praying multiple Hail Mary’s until the urge goes away. If you do this, it will work. The key is to actually start saying the prayers until the urge is gone.
 
First, pray. Pray to Our Lady and like many others have said, avoid being alone as best as you can if the urge becomes too strong. Also, it may be good to face the anxiety head on If it’s anxiety that is driving you to do it. In an attempt to get rid of the anxiety, you’ll just calm it down for a bit, but it’ll come back. I think this is why Our Lord told St. Faustina that one of the greatest obstacles to Holiness is exaggerated anxiety. Let yourself feel the anxiety without doing anything to make it better. Let it be there for as long as possible, and eventually, the stuff dies out on its own. This takes practice and is extremely hard at first, but anxiety affects all of us in all kind of ways, so learning to take the bull by the horns and just facing it will help you in more than this area. Speak to an priest about your struggles and consider professional help for your anxiety if it’s a big problem. I wish you the best of luck :)! Pray the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet!
 
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This is not an apologetics question, so I moved your thread to Catholic Living/Family Life where it’s more appropriate. Please keep all threads/comments to PG level rating.
 
I’ve beaten this myself, so here are my tips:
  1. Find an accountability partner. You need to tell someone. Not just your confessor, somebody you’re really close with and can trust to be around when you need them. For me, this is my best friend.
  2. Webblockers galore! My weakness was the internet, so I installed multiple layers of security on everything I used to feed my addiction. Go cold turkey with internet access, and cut it completely if you need to.
  3. Find the spots where you masturbate, and make sure you’re busy. Bathroom? Read. Before sleep? Pray the Rosary, then go to bed. In the morning? Put your alarm clock across the room so you have to get up. Don’t ever let yourself get close: Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.
  4. Wear socks on your hands. Seriously, this works.
  5. Don’t give up! God will forgive you if you ask sincerely. The only way to lose this fight is to stop fighting.
    You’ll be in my prayers. You can do this!
 
Thanks for the tips. Refraining from viewing pornography is surprisingly easy for me, but it’s the urge to masturbate that is difficult to resist.
 
Thank you, Jessica. I’ll be offering my abstinence up as a form of penance. We are all called to chastity unless in the vocation of marriage. But with self-mastery and lots of prayer we can all overcome this. I pray the rosary everyday, but maybe I’ll pray more than just the mystery that corresponds to the day of the week it is.
 
Agreed! I try to deny myself vices as often as I can. It certainly helps, and it not just spiritually healthy, but physically healthy too, like fasting for example.

Just curious, these acts of denial remind me of Opus Dei members who practice mortification. (I’ve been appointed an Opus Dei cooperator recently). Are you a member?
 
Thanks. I haven’t posted too often yet, and I was wondering where to put this topic. Catholic Living/Family life seems ideal to me!
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
Children as young as 12 are on CAF. Would you be comfortable with your 12 year old son or daughter reading this?
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I gotta be honest, yes. They will have heard far worse by now. Sex ed at school and the rest of the internet cause really early exposure.
GerardAubyn said:
Thanks for the tips. Refraining from viewing pornography is surprisingly easy for me, but it’s the urge to masturbate that is difficult to resist.
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The easiest thing to do is move. Physically move away from temptation. Don’t give yourself a single chance to.
 
Middle-aged? Why do you say that?

Besides, age is irrelevant when it comes to this: normalization of masturbation is a common thing in popular culture.
 
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Well, is the Catechism inappropriate? I think not. This topic is in there. Would you be comfortable your 14-year old son or daughter getting a copy of the catechism with this topic in it at their confirmation ceremony? (Two years older than 12, I know). To answer you question directly, though, my daughters are still seven and eight, so not an appropriate time yet. I think 12 is an appropriate time. As a parent I’m their primary teacher, especially with the Catholic faith and morality. I’ll still be uncomfortable discussing it with them regardless of their age. Kids as young as 12 are on Facebook, too! And look at the perversion on there. As parents, we can manage what our children are exposed to.
 
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No, I’m not, these are just things that have worked in my life. (I believe in sharing with people the things that have actually helped me, not just theories that sound good.)
 
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