I fell guilty for eating cake

[stephie_venuto]

Hello!

Recently, I’ve been very careful not to commit the sin of gluttony. I don’t eat unless I am hungry, no matter how big or small the food being offered is. Sometimes this means I skip meals, or go for a hours without eating because I honestly wait until I’m hungry to eat. I feel that sometimes I take it too far, but I feel too guilty to stop. For example, the other day, my Grandma offered me a grape, and I knew it was slightly rude to say no, but I did because I didn’t want to offend God by eating when I wasn’t hungry.

So, my problem is, today was my birthday and I wasn’t hungry around lunch so I basically skipped lunch and had a snack later. We had dinner early and I ate a little more than I normally would, but not too much. An hour later, my family was all set to have cake. I couldn’t really say no as it would be pushing the kid’s bedtime out too late. So, I ended up eating a slice of cake when I wasn’t only not hungry, but very full. I don’t know if I’m being scrupulous or not, but I feel bad. On top of this, I forgot to sacrifice today (again!!) and I feel horrible about that too.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

• Stephie

 

[1ke]

You need professional help. This is very scrupulous. You need to talk to your pastor and be honest about your situation of skipping meals and fearing gluttony. Scrupulosit is not something to deal with on your own. Get professional help.

 

[stephie_venuto]

I don’t really think it is quite that bad…I think I just need to figure out what is a moral sin and what is being polite. But thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut!

 

[Pa_Newman]

I hate to say it, but it sounds as though you are being scrupulous.Have you had a problem w/gluttony in the past? Obviously I can not speak for God, but I highly doubt that He would be upset that you ate a piece of your birthday cake as part of a family celebration.He knows what is in your heart. No need to feel guilty for something that is not a sin.I would suggest that you make an appointment w/ a priest that you are comfortable with to discuss your concerns.As far as refusing food offered to you when you are not hungry-I come from a Latin background that would indeed be considered rude. Which would be offensive to God not eating and being sightly rude to your grandmother or accepting a small bit of food to honor her hospitality?

 

[dshix]

Hi Stephie,

I definitely agree with 1ke here; you should talk to your priest and spiritual director about your scrupulosity.

Stop worrying about gluttony. You can eat as you wish, and indulge yourself occasionally (ESPECIALLY on your birthday) without sinning. God’s gifts are here for the purpose of being enjoyed.

You only commit the sin of gluttony when you value food too highly, and overindulge yourself constantly. You, by the sound of it, are certainly not even close to this. Relax, enjoy yourself, and don’t be afraid.

Again, you should absolutely talk to your priest about this and get one-on-one help in directing you towards all truth.

God Bless, and I hope you find the answers you need.

-dshix

 

[RoseMary131]

Hello!

Recently, I’ve been very careful not to commit the sin of gluttony. I don’t eat unless I am hungry, no matter how big or small the food being offered is. Sometimes this means I skip meals, or go for a hours without eating because I honestly wait until I’m hungry to eat. I feel that sometimes I take it too far, but I feel too guilty to stop. For example, the other day, my Grandma offered me a grape, and I knew it was slightly rude to say no, but I did because I didn’t want to offend God by eating when I wasn’t hungry.

So, my problem is, today was my birthday and I wasn’t hungry around lunch so I basically skipped lunch and had a snack later. We had dinner early and I ate a little more than I normally would, but not too much. An hour later, my family was all set to have cake. I couldn’t really say no as it would be pushing the kid’s bedtime out too late. So, I ended up eating a slice of cake when I wasn’t only not hungry, but very full. I don’t know if I’m being scrupulous or not, but I feel bad. On top of this, I forgot to sacrifice today (again!!) and I feel horrible about that too.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

• Stephie

Happy Birthday Stephie!


This is to celebrate - not about the problems you have written - enjoy this “cake”.

God has designed our bodies to be nourished in a pattern - at meal times and snack time between if wanted or needed. It is not healthy to wait until you feel hunger to eat meals.

We need to take care of our bodies as God has planned - healthy food, water, sleep, exercise. We are not called to withhold these things from our body.

Gluttony is not about withholding food until we are hungry. You can develop many health problems with this.

It can be hard to see that we are out of sync, but often others can see what we don’t notice. Readers here see something you aren’t seeing about yourself.

You do need to speak with someone about this issue. It is not healthy for mind or body or soul.

Why do you feel you need to sacrifice food in this manner? Have you spoken with your parents about this? Please speak with them and with your priest.

Do you have other areas that you strive so scrupulously? You may need a therapist to help you know you do not need to eat this way or make these sacrifices with your food.

God bless you on this beautiful birthday. Be at peace knowing you should begin to eat meals at meal time.

 

[Lasting_faith]

No need to feel guilty. It was your birthday cake, and you had all the right in the world to eat it. There is nothing wrong in celebrating a birthday, it is a day to remember that God created you.

 

[JRKH]

Well - I’m going to disagree with the others here and say that you are not being particularly scrupulous here -

BUT

I will still suggest that it would be a good idea to discuss this with your confessor or spiritual adviser - just because it’s good to have professional guidance on these kinds of matters.

At it’s most basic I would suggest that you have not only done well but exceedingly so for you have placed the higher good in it’s proper place.
You accepted what was offered, not out of gluttonous desire, but out of Agape. You took and ate in order to not give offense. Your love for others was paramount and you sacrificed a bit of yourself in order to love another more perfectly.

I say bravo. :clapping::dancing:

Peace
James

 

[1ke]

I don’t really think it is quite that bad…

Yes, it is that bad, and the fact that you don’t see it is simply a symptom of your distorted view of food, gluttony, and sin.

PLEASE get help from your pastor and a mental health professional.

I think I just need to figure out what is a moral sin and what is being polite.

You need help. Please do not continue down this path alone.

 

[ClearWater]

This has been most helpful to me, the whole conversation on scrupulosity. I am beginning to better understand it just by listening. Thanks!

 

[JRKH]

Yes, it is that bad, and the fact that you don’t see it is simply a symptom of your distorted view of food, gluttony, and sin.

PLEASE get help from your pastor and a mental health professional.

You need help. Please do not continue down this path alone.

1ke -
With all due respect - I think you might be overreacting just a bit here.

I agree that the OP should seek the advice of a good spiritual counselor but then I think it should be up to them - jointly - to determine whether an intervention is needed by a mental health professional.

So rather than say - as you have above - to get help from her pastor and a mental health professional, I would suggest getting help from her pastor - and then see where that leads to…

Just some thoughts…

Peace
James

 

[Tigg]

Well - I’m going to disagree with the others here and say that you are not being particularly scrupulous here -

BUT

I will still suggest that it would be a good idea to discuss this with your confessor or spiritual adviser - just because it’s good to have professional guidance on these kinds of matters.

At it’s most basic I would suggest that you have not only done well but exceedingly so for you have placed the higher good in it’s proper place.
You accepted what was offered, not out of gluttonous desire, but out of Agape. You took and ate in order to not give offense. Your love for others was paramount and you sacrificed a bit of yourself in order to love another more perfectly.

I say bravo. :clapping::dancing:

Peace
James

I agree! Please, Stephie, do not let anyone misdirect you for none of us can know the journey of your soul and if the Lord may be calling you to practice extraordinary virtue. Self-denial is not popular these days, even among the well-meaning. I do agree, however, that you need to find spiritual advice from a wise director and seek balance in all your mortifications. If you are being called into a greater level of the mystical (and we all are) it is very important to never harm your health and above all be obedient to a wise and holy soul who might help you advance.

 

[1ke]

I agree! Please, Stephie, do not let anyone misdirect you for none of us can know the journey of your soul and if the Lord may be calling you to practice extraordinary virtue. Self-denial is not popular these days, even among the well-meaning. I do agree, however, that you need to find spiritual advice from a wise director and seek balance in all your mortifications. If you are being called into a greater level of the mystical (and we all are) it is very important to never harm your health and above all be obedient to a wise and holy soul who might help you advance.

Those practicing voluntary self denial, or who have a proper understanding of mortification, do not become worried they are committing a mortal sin by eating a piece of birthday cake on their birthday.

This is not healthy, and since it involves food it can also morph itself into an eating disorder. It is important that the OP get guidance from her parents and her pastor.

 

[kyleesharon1]

I think this would be helpful to you if you would talk to your pastor or priest at the church and discuss what has been going on, he can give you plenty helpful tips!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I have seen posts on this site that have to do with scrupulosity. And I am always puzzled. How does one logically justify this type of thinking. Mortal sin= hell. Then people worry about eating a birthday cake or a single grape. How does this logically make sense? Either the person does not look at the issue with logical analysis or they are unaware of the teachings of Catholic theology.

I also wonder, if a single grape or a piece of cake causes such worry, what else could? Personally, I lose my patience with my kids, get angry in traffic, tell a bad joke, or have an impure thought on a daily basis.
Confession is important.
Self denial is important.
Self examination is important.
But I cannot imagine the extreme of the OP.

 

[Tigg]

Those practicing voluntary self denial, or who have a proper understanding of mortification, do not become worried they are committing a mortal sin by eating a piece of birthday cake on their birthday.

This is not healthy, and since it involves food it can also morph itself into an eating disorder. It is important that the OP get guidance from her parents and her pastor.

Well, to be accurate, she never said she thought she was committing a mortal sin in her OP, altho she did say in another post that she needed to figure out what a “moral” sin was. I didn’t presume she meant mortal. And, if you’ll read all of my post, you will notice I agreed she needs direction. If we are speaking of a young girl here, I also agree that eating disorders are prevalent in certain age groups and that ones spirituality can be distorted. A therapist will not introduce nor encourage her along God’s path and quite honestly we don’t have all the facts.

 

[D_Martin]

Hello!

Recently, I’ve been very careful not to commit the sin of gluttony. I don’t eat unless I am hungry, no matter how big or small the food being offered is. Sometimes this means I skip meals, or go for a hours without eating because I honestly wait until I’m hungry to eat. I feel that sometimes I take it too far, but I feel too guilty to stop. For example, the other day, my Grandma offered me a grape, and I knew it was slightly rude to say no, but I did because I didn’t want to offend God by eating when I wasn’t hungry.

So, my problem is, today was my birthday and I wasn’t hungry around lunch so I basically skipped lunch and had a snack later. We had dinner early and I ate a little more than I normally would, but not too much. An hour later, my family was all set to have cake. I couldn’t really say no as it would be pushing the kid’s bedtime out too late. So, I ended up eating a slice of cake when I wasn’t only not hungry, but very full. I don’t know if I’m being scrupulous or not, but I feel bad. On top of this, I forgot to sacrifice today (again!!) and I feel horrible about that too.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

• Stephie

This sounds like manufactured drama to me. Decide to do something and when one miss’ the mark or goal, one calls it a moral dilemma which wouldn’t have existed if the person didn’t deiced to do it in the first place. Demanding of one’s self to the point that one condemns one’s relationship with God if there be failure, isn’t a wise thing to do.

First, it’s mentally and emotionally depraved to do this, isn’t life tough enough with out creating reasons for condemning yourself? If your stuffing your face in front of another who is hungry as in some one deprived adequate nourishment for daily living, then you’ve got something there. Then you can be down on yourself “mortified”, but you can correct it and give to the individual in need. But what you are doing has no benefit other than maybe you will loss some weight, if you need to.

Second, no one has the right or sufficient knowledge or power to judge one’s own relationship with God. Gluttony, as a official sin, is man made, and man written, therefore a sin against the men who agree to gluttony as sin, But against God no, no way, there isn’t scripture addressing it, nor Word of God addressing it other than, if you have more than plenty of, and don’t give to, or assist he who is in need of, then there might be a concern for your relationship with the Lord your God.

 

[stephie_venuto]

Those practicing voluntary self denial, or who have a proper understanding of mortification, do not become worried they are committing a mortal sin by eating a piece of birthday cake on their birthday.

This is not healthy, and since it involves food it can also morph itself into an eating disorder. It is important that the OP get guidance from her parents and her pastor.

Thank you for your concerns, but I just wanted to point out that I didn’t think I was committing a moral sin, just a venial sin. I knew God would not be mad about me eating a piece of cake on my birthday, but food is for nourishment and when one is not hungry, there is no reason to consume. I will talk to a priest about it in confession today, but I am definitely not starving myself. Anyone that knows me can tell you that! When I’m hungry, I eat until I’m full and then I wait until I’m hungry again to eat. I felt bad because I was deviating from my ways to eat birthday cake. With all due respect, I don’t think I need a metal therapist as it isn’t as if this runs my life. Normally, I am hungry at the standard times of breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe a snack or two in between.

 

[stephie_venuto]

This sounds like manufactured drama to me. Decide to do something and when one miss’ the mark or goal, one calls it a moral dilemma which wouldn’t have existed if the person didn’t deiced to do it in the first place. Demanding of one’s self to the point that one condemns one’s relationship with God if there be failure, isn’t a wise thing to do.

First, it’s mentally and emotionally depraved to do this, isn’t life tough enough with out creating reasons for condemning yourself? If your stuffing your face in front of another who is hungry as in some one deprived adequate nourishment for daily living, then you’ve got something there. Then you can be down on yourself “mortified”, but you can correct it and give to the individual in need. But what you are doing has no benefit other than maybe you will loss some weight, if you need to.

Second, no one has the right or sufficient knowledge or power to judge one’s own relationship with God. Gluttony, as a official sin, is man made, and man written, therefore a sin against the men who agree to gluttony as sin, But against God no, no way, there isn’t scripture addressing it, nor Word of God addressing it other than, if you have more than plenty of, and don’t give to, or assist he who is in need of, then there might be a concern for your relationship with the Lord your God.

D_Martin,

I do have to disagree with you. There are several references to gluttony in the Bible such as: Sirach 37:30-31 and Philippians 3:18-19. In my life, there isn’t much I can offer God sacrifice-wise, but one thing that I love is food. I had been reading about gluttony and in order to improve my health and to please God, I decided to only eat when I am hungry. To be quite honest, I think that makes perfect sense. As I mentioned in a previous post, food is for nourishment, so when one isn’t hungry, why eat? It isn’t as big a problem as you guys are making it out to be, though I do appreciate your suggestions and concerns.

 

[stephie_venuto]

Well, to be accurate, she never said she thought she was committing a mortal sin in her OP, altho she did say in another post that she needed to figure out what a “moral” sin was. I didn’t presume she meant mortal. And, if you’ll read all of my post, you will notice I agreed she needs direction. If we are speaking of a young girl here, I also agree that eating disorders are prevalent in certain age groups and that ones spirituality can be distorted. A therapist will not introduce nor encourage her along God’s path and quite honestly we don’t have all the facts.

Thank you, I didn’t mean a moral sin. I am scrupulous in other areas of my life, but I know I am not scrupulous with food. As a practice of self-discipline, in order to improve my health, and to please God, I am only eating when I am hungry. As I have told my Mom and sister in the past, there is no way I could ever have an eating disorder, I love food too much!