I finally opened up to a priest, and it went terribly wrong

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Chamomile said:
Which I am getting. Like I mentioned, I have both a therapist and a psychiatrist. However, as you may know, OCD causes huge problems in confession, and this is what I was needing help with. The spiritual end of the illness. Not medical, which I am getting, not psychological, which I am also getting and spoke of to him.
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Others have mentioned reaching out to the Vocations office of your (Arch)diocese to see if they can point you in the right direction of a helpful priest.

It’s important to broach the subject with the priest prior to confession, especially if you are looking for a long time regular confessor.

You may have luck finding someone helpful also via spiritual directors who are priests. They also have training to deal with… well… helping you find your way. It’s a bit more than confessing. The average parish priest may not have time to give.

Praying for you :pray:t2:
 
That’s ok though. She can help with your ocd. And you can tell her what goes on in Reconcilliation and make a plan with her. Who knows, your talk of catholic issues , will make her think about God, religion and sin.
 
It’s not a degree, it’s not a specialised discipline for them.

Oops that’s to the OP
 
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He does, this is not a premonition to hell. Love God back. Trust in Jesus
 
I did, and I spoke to the one Catjolic therapist near me. He lives in a nearby city and was willing to do meetings with me via webcam, but as it turns out he only knew about OCD when it came to scrupulosity and nothing about it’s other manifestations like POCD or HOCD. I really have tried everything
 
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I know, I mentioned in a previous comment that I have called. This was also what I was trying to do with the priest in my post. I didn’t go to confession to him and my appointment was not for confession. I went to speak with him about my illness and to see if he was willing to help me with direction and confession AFTER. But yes, it may be the only thing is to keep doing it.
 
And I truly don’t hold it against him. POCD is disturbing and I think what happened was one of the worst scenarios I was already expecting in my mind. I do wish priests knew more about these things is all.
 
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Believe me, we’ve spoken extensively about my faith. But she believes it is scrupulosity and tells me about what my core beliefs are, “ God is all knowing, God is mercyful, God is good”, and that He’d understand that I can’t go to confession in my state( which I don’t agree with at all).
 
I would say a prayer for this priest since for some reason or another you affected him deeply.
If you wish: Go to another priest, sit down, and do it all over again. You aren’t prohibited from talking about sins that have already been absolved in Confession.

Peace.
 
This website will direct you to the phone number and (in just about every Diocese) website:

http://www.catholic-hierarchy.org/

Each Diocese is set up a little differently, the Chancery office often is a good resource for locating a priest with a specific sort of training. Maybe the Family Life office or the office for Spiritual Direction or the Catholic Charities offices would know, another place is the office of the Deaconate. (Not every Diocese will have these offices under these specific names, it can be confusing!)

Also confusing, there are different sorts of Vocations Directors.

Your Diocese will likely have a VD for Men and one for Women.

At the same time, each Order (Carmelites, Dominicans, Franciscans, etc.) will have their own Vocations director (may go by that or a different title).
 
PureKathleen46 said:
The priest is the one who needs psychological help, not you. His actions were inexcusable. What a horrible man. God bless you!
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You are completely out of line.

We are hearing only one side of the story, and for all you know, the priest’s actions may have been the only appropriate response and perhaps for the poster’s own good, as trying to proceed may have caused even greater harm.

Priests are not medical professionals.

“Horrible” indeed.
 
I am not even willing to go so far as to call the priest’s response “inappropriate”. Again, only one side of the story is being aired here, and we have no transcript of the conversation. The poster reports that this was 20 minutes, and it seems that early on, the priest had already stated that he was not qualified to help. This alone tells us that the priest was already on the right track.

Who then knows how the rest of that 20 minutes went? Again, without the other side of the story and a transcript of the conversation, we have no grounds to call the priest’s actions “inappropriate”, and much less, “horrible.”

This is an instance where justice and charity demand that we lay the more charitable interpretation on the actions of the priest. Under certain circumstances, his response, even the order to “please leave”, could have been the only appropriate course of action, as harsh it may sound to us third parties. We simply do not know.

Again, people should consider that before they frame their responses about the priest.
 
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Chamomile said:
Who can I turn for help, if I Our Lord’s representatives run away from people like me?
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This is just one representative. Keep searching. He said he couldn’t help you. I’d believe him. Priests are human too with all the weaknesses and limitations we all have.

One good thing from this is it gives you the opportunity to forgive and let go. That is actually an opportunity to grow spiritually, even if you don’t like the circumstances.

I can’t recommend anything specific but just keep searching.
 
The subject matter is what might frighten people. But you know you are not a P, right?

I understand OCD because I have it—a person who does not have it, not educated in it might get confused. A lot of people think OCD is making sure everything is organized or washing hands fifty times a day etc.

Your thoughts on this are ego-dystonic. That term means aspects of a person’s thoughts, impulses, attitudes, and behavior that are felt to be repugnant, distressing, unacceptable, or inconsistent with the rest of the personality.

In short, they are the opposite of you!

Since these thoughts are intrusive, unwanted and ego-dystonic, there is no need to bring them up in confession. In fact, these are issues best treated by a psychologist—they are not moral failings on your part and by thinking they are, you are feeding another form of OCD, scrupulosity. There is no reason for a Priest to absolve you of having these thoughts, because they are clearly not sins.

If you do talk to Priest about OCD, perhaps help him understand OCD in general before going into details of your particular case. Maybe start with scrupulosity, because many Catholic Priests are familiar with that. Maybe bring in literature about what OCD really is that can explain better than you while you are having an attack of the nerves.

May God be with you.
 
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No one here has referenced the fact that the OP mentions POCD and HOCD. If you look that up you’ll get a better understanding of why the priest recoiled from trying to handle this. This is not OCD handwashing, repetitive type behaviors and anxieties. This is stuff that is very disturbing and needs really spiritually strong and educated help.

I would be worried about even talking about these thoughts because I would be concerned they would become more validated by discussing them. I am not trained or educated in these areas, this is only my opinion, but not all problems can be discussed in a talk-therapy kind of setting. It could make it worse.

I will try to pm you with a suggestion of a priest who might provide some assistance.
God Bless.
 
And like I said, I don’t hold this against him. There’s a general lack of knowledge of this illness and it is discouraging is all, but it’s not really his fault.
 
Chamomile said:
And like I said, I don’t hold this against him. There’s a general lack of knowledge of this illness and it is discouraging is all, but it’s not really his fault.
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And you are to be credited for your kindness towards him.

My issue is with the other folks who only heard your side of the story, and while this comes with no implication that you are lying, it is, still, only one-sided. When the priest said he can’t help you because he’s not qualified, that should have been the end of the story.

And yet we have people here going so far as to call that priest “horrible”.
 
I think this is great. I read through #3 last night also, and I read through every page. Everything that he described is just what I’m going through. He was a wonderful priest!
 
Thank you so much! I think this is what people don’t undestand, and that I do. Like I said, I know my illness is disturbing. I am disturbed by it! This is why I don’t hold it against Father. I knew it would be hard to find a priest who would be willing to help. It’s hard to find therapists who know about POCD and HOCD so i wasn’t expecting Father to know too much on it. It’s more of a general discouragement and fear that I have. Like I said, I have a baby. I am afraid out of my mind that this illlness may get her taken away from me, which is why i was so worried of going to a priest in the first place. I’m not mad at Father, and I don’t want anyone to say anything unkind about him. If anything, I just wish there was more education on this subject for priests especially because confession with these forms of OCD is extremely terrifying.
 
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Which I want to ask others to please kindly not do. POCD and HOCD are disturbing onsets of the illness, and people don’t really know OCD can do this because the media always portrays what is known as “Contamination OCD”, which is sadly not the worse or only form of OCD. This isn’t Father’s fault, but it is a problem for those of us who suffer from this.
 
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