I got scolded on Instagram for not doing God’s will as a working mom

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MarthaSo

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I don’t even know if threads like this are allowed but I have to share. I created an Instagram account to share inspirational faith quotes to my teens once in a while since photos are more of an attention grabber.

So I’m scrolling earlier this morning and I come across a nice photo with a quote about how wonderful mothers are from someone called tradcathfem and because it reminded me of my situation I posted (which I rarely do) how I wish I could stay home but I can’t because of free tuition. She then yelled at me with all caps telling me I’m not stuck I HAVE A CHOICE TO DO GODS WILL.
Well this threw me off guard so I was snarky (sorry Lord) and thanked her for being good practice on how to deal with rude judgemental people upon my return to work.
Then she called me passive aggressive (probably rightly so) and said in shouty half caps if I wanted to do God’s will I have a choice and I only want to hear what pleases me and not the truth (which she apparently is sole owner of) and then she told me not to come to her if I didn’t want the Truth.
Whew! So I blocked her because she’s scary but what bothered me was that she said by me being a working mom I’m not doing God’s will.
This lady has thousands of followers and her name must be short for traditional catholic female/feminist or whatever I was shocked at her nastiness but more upset because I know if I downsized into a smaller apartment I could stay home with my child but then my older kids won’t have free college? I guess I’m trying to see beyond her crazy yelling to see if she had a point.
Thanks for listening.
 
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Tradcatfem is known for this.

She used to be a member here and left.

She attacked a couple of people on Tumblr too, calling someone mentally ill and slut shaming someone because she posted a picture of her and her boyfriend. Insulted men and women for not marrying young because the men are wasting women’s fertility. All of that.

Please, please do not engage with her. Pray for her and move on. She’s not in the right frame of mind.
 
Oh wow I did not know this. Thank you Lea for bringing this to my attention. I thought I was losing my mind to have been treated so harshly by a traditional Catholic. Thanks again for the information ❤️

also, I’m surprised that she would have so many followers, especially considering her name. I did pray for her, almost immediately in fact.
 
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Catholic twitter and Catholic instagram can be really fringe and at times downright hostile. I’d steer clear. Social media tends to bring out the worst in people.
 
Thanks, so true! I like the Catholic Memes they sometimes have… my teens get a kick out of the ones with pictures of Steve Carnell from The Office.
 
Yup, she has attracted a great deal of uber traditional people. Unfortunately, mostly heretics. Mostly people who are against Vatican II and the current Catholic Church. I forgot the actual term for it. She even said the OF was not a valid mass, if i can recall.

I don’t really hang around on Instagram, but many Catholic accounts on Tumblr have posted the things she has said to them. They generally steer clear and things are more quiet now.

I don’t mean to sound gossipy though. I just remember her antics since we have had a few spats, lol!

Be at ease, she doesn’t represent normal traditional conservatives!
 
MarthaSo said:
So I blocked her because she’s scary but what bothered me was that she said by me being a working mom I’m not doing God’s will.
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I take exception to that. God will indicate to you His Will for you. I also accept that God can and does indicate His Will for you when you seek spiritual direction etc, in confession if you ask for clarification etc. Whilst I will not put God in a box, as I am no-one to dictate to whom He can indicate His Will for another person to whom He chooses - I have a great deal of difficulty in believing this woman has a direct phone line to God regarding His Will for everyone.

God has made known His Will for everyone in general through His 10 Commandments and through His Church.

Is is His Will that those who are married are to be open to new life and raise children, and yes, in an ideal world all mothers would like to stay home with their children. But life is such that for some people just to keep a roof over their heads - and not just necessarily paying a mortgage either - two parents need to work to make ends meet.

Not everyone everywhere in the world is living in exactly the same circumstances,with the exact same expenses - type and cost, needs, obligations and duties and all with the same amount of income.

So even if your husband had a good job, which meant you could pay the rent or mortgage, and if you needed to sacrifice holidays, or reduce the length and frequency and type of holidays, or whether to buy a car or go without, whether to educate your children at home, public or private school, whether to buy secondhand clothes or sew them at home - sometimes even with all these sacrifices , ends dont’ always meet.

And not everyone is living in the same financial structure/economy the world over.

You are responsible for your children. Take the situation to God and ask Him what He wants you to do, and to show you this clearly.

We all do the best we can with what we have at the time that is.
 
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You’re welcome! Be a good mother in all ways - love them, care for them, guide them, teach them the Faith, lead them by good example especially in knowing and loving God and neighbor.

Sometimes life doesn’t go the way we want it and situations and people can mean we have to make decisions which are not as we want.

I had to return to work twice. Both times at the pressure and insistence of husband, (in my opinion not financially necessary at either time, but then we disagreed on most a lot of things). The first time was after my first child, and I returned to almost full time work when they were 6mths old. I missed all the ‘firsts’ - that was really hard, but the consolation was my sister was minding him with her children. The other time was when another child was almost 3. Still hard, but easier than the first time.
 
Learn to not worry about what other people think of you. It really is a key to happiness.
 
Hear, hear, QwertyGirl! OP: I wouldn’t worry about her. If you’re doing the best you can being the best Catholic woman, wife and mother God made you to be, you’re DOING GOD’S WILL. Beyond that: If anyone doesn’t appreciate that, that’s their problem and you pray for them.
 
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MarthaSo said:
I don’t even know if threads like this are allowed but I have to share. I created an Instagram account to share inspirational faith quotes to my teens once in a while since photos are more of an attention grabber.

So I’m scrolling earlier this morning and I come across a nice photo with a quote about how wonderful mothers are from someone called tradcathfem and because it reminded me of my situation I posted (which I rarely do) how I wish I could stay home but I can’t because of free tuition. She then yelled at me with all caps telling me I’m not stuck I HAVE A CHOICE TO DO GODS WILL.
Well this threw me off guard so I was snarky (sorry Lord) and thanked her for being good practice on how to deal with rude judgemental people upon my return to work.
Then she called me passive aggressive (probably rightly so) and said in shouty half caps if I wanted to do God’s will I have a choice and I only want to hear what pleases me and not the truth (which she apparently is sole owner of) and then she told me not to come to her if I didn’t want the Truth.
Whew! So I blocked her because she’s scary but what bothered me was that she said by me being a working mom I’m not doing God’s will.
This lady has thousands of followers and her name must be short for traditional catholic female/feminist or whatever I was shocked at her nastiness but more upset because I know if I downsized into a smaller apartment I could stay home with my child but then my older kids won’t have free college? I guess I’m trying to see beyond her crazy yelling to see if she had a point.
Thanks for listening.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry that happened to you, but yeah, it’s the internet 😛 Everybody is brave on the internet. People love to shame moms and dads on the internet.

Don’t give it a second thought, other than praying for them. Seriously: she wouldn’t behave like that if she weren’t in pain of some sort, mental and/or spiritual.

Peace.
 
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just ignore the crazy people.

it’s not a sin for you to work outside the home, financially necessary or not. certainly, there are considerations that need to be taken into account if one has very young children, otherwise, if your kids are doing well, don’t worry about it.

in many cases, women also have great talents to contribute to the world.
 
Tips please, if you can. This has been my struggle in fact.
thanks 😊
 
Sorry to cut in, but I liked that advice too and immediately thought of the Gospels. For instance when Jesus says that the world first hated Him - we should expect that too. That and persecutions. And that following Him means going against the world (in a sense, as we all know, not against people individually, but the wordliness, the atheistic ideologies like marxism, now LGBT and so on).

What I noticed in my own case is that as long as you stick to the Church’s teachings and pray a lot, and do God’s Will, then really little does affect you as far as other people’s opinions are concerned. However, I had a problem with internet hostility sometimes - when I had still a fb account, or was on some “mum’s forums” light years away - meaning I took very seriously any hurtful comment, and had big troubles overcoming it. In my own case, the solution was limiting internet conversations etc to absolute minimum. After all, people in real life are not so easily nasty face to face, it’s the anonymity thing (Jordan Peterson talks about that, as he gets a lot of negative attention on the net, and, in his own words - NONE in real life).
Another thing is people you know and care about. If they say something hurtful, immediately turn to Jesus, offer this to Him, and pray for that person - at some point the hurt goes away, peace comes, and you go on. You can do that with any person who hurts you of course - it always helps. There is this really powerful prayer, left to us by the Desert Fathers: “Come to my help, o God; Lord hurry to my rescue”. I attest personaly to the power of this prayer; and of course the testimony of the saints is already a great commendation.

I had a very close relative say and write to me many very hurtful things; God healed that relationship in time, but it took a lot of prayer, and suffering offered by me for that healing.
Last but not least, saint Padre Pio: “Pray, hope and don’t worry. Worry is useless”
 
Kicking a working mom when she’s down really is a pretty low down thing to do. There were times I thought of becoming a one car family and calculated every last rice and beans existence for me to stay home. It usually came out that we could maybe scrape by but medical bills for another birth would wreck us. Seemed to me that being open to life was more important to God’s will for us than me being able to stay home at that time, even though it was my heart’s greatest desire. Don’t you listen to her.
 
Thank you for your kindness and for sharing part of your story. It’s very helpful.
 
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