I got slapped...advice please

[janevcbw]

I am a 69 year old woman. I took a short trip with a friend, to a Catholic retreat, no less. She was driving, and we were discussing politics or the church or something. I was enthusiastically talking when she slapped me on the back several times, hard, and told me not to interrupt. I was shocked. I was hurt. I told her not to slap me again. But that was a few days ago, and a sadness and depression is still lingering within me.

This is a person that I thought was a friend, someone with whom I share my Catholicism. We went through the retreat sort of in silence, but the thought of her hitting me has rattled me. It has rattled me and I don’t think I can be friends with her any more. This woman has a history of deep depression and suicide thoughts. I don’t think I can help her anymore. She is a professing Catholic. Do you think she is dangerous to be around, or am I making this out to be more than it actually is. We are both grown adults.

Please help me here, because I feel guilty, as though I did something wrong. I have never had this happen to me with friends… I know I should forgive her, but I really don’t want to be around her and I don’t even think she is sorry. This is weird to me…

Thank you.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I would NEVER get into a car with that woman. Whether the driver is doing the slapping or being slapped, they are both dangerous situations.

I would pray for her, pray for you, and stay as far away as possible from her.

Honestly, that is just pathetic behavior on her part

 

[crystal_waters]

I dont understand…did she slap you on the back in a light hearted jokey way?..or slap you on the back in an i mean to slap you way?..when you say hurt I know you mean emotionally hurt but did she hurt you physically too?

I couldn’t imagine slapping a 69 year old in any kind of way so I’m kind of shocked that someone did it to you…did you speak to the person about it?

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Maybe she is losing her ability to think straight? It does sound like dangerous behavior.

If you do want to continue as a friend then she needs to know this is not acceptable and that if it happens again you will bring action against her and hold her responsible in case it causes any problems with your back.

But if a person has to be told all that, they aren’t really a friend anyway. Maybe an acquaintance or even someone to hang with, but not a friend.

I’m sorry for what happened. We have this thing called the English Language by which she can communicate ideas; she doesn’t have to attack you.

 

[janevcbw]

Thank you everyone. It is beginning to make sense to me now. Your support has opened my eyes. I want to show compassion to my friend, but I think it is too dangerous. I can pry for her, and me, though.

 

[HelenRose]

Thank you everyone. It is beginning to make sense to me now. Your support has opened my eyes. I want to show compassion to my friend, but I think it is too dangerous. I can pry for her, and me, though.

I am glad you are on this road. You want to show compassion but in no way are you to allow this kind of behavior again. If she has been a friend and never acted this way before, she may be in the early stages of dementia. In any case you are not to blame and you must protect yourself.