I guess I'm kinda porn-addicted

[S_A_M]

first of all, sorry for all the following explicit words. i just wanna confess and describe my current situation i’m into.

i’m almost 32, single guy, still have no girlfriend yet (still haven’t met the right girl), and i wanna have sex to a woman so bad… maybe it’s bcoz biological needs of never had sex before (i’m still virgin and i’m proud of it)… so when i can’t hold on to the lust that pushes me, i often surf for porns on the net, download it, and watch it and then do the hand job…

i know it is very wrong but what should i do?? i’m still either haven’t found the right girl and i don’t wanna force my relation with the girl i didn’t like, so it’s better for me to stay single for now…

and, after doing those stuffs for (quite) long, right now, i think i kinda addicted to porn…

what should i do?? on the other hand, i love women so much… in the other hand, being lustful to them (women) is a sin! (even by just imagining them)

please help and pray a lot for me…

 

[ProdglArchitect]

first of all, sorry for all the following explicit words. i just wanna confess and describe my current situation i’m into.

i’m almost 32, single guy, still have no girlfriend yet (still haven’t met the right girl), and i wanna have sex to a woman so bad… maybe it’s bcoz biological needs of never had sex before (i’m still virgin and i’m proud of it)… so when i can’t hold on to the lust that pushes me, i often surf for porns on the net, download it, and watch it and then do the hand job…

i know it is very wrong but what should i do?? i’m still either haven’t found the right girl and i don’t wanna force my relation with the girl i didn’t like, so it’s better for me to stay single for now…

and, after doing those stuffs for (quite) long, right now, i think i kinda addicted to porn…

what should i do?? on the other hand, i love women so much… in the other hand, being lustful to them (women) is a sin! (even by just imagining them)

please help and pray a lot for me…

Well, you’re in good company. Many of the people on these forums are dealing with the same issue, myself included. I’ve found some degree of healing by attending a men’s purity group. The accountability is really important to your recovery, and without it your chances of actually becoming free from your addiction are very small.

Beyond that, I’d highly suggest purchasing Covenant Eyes. It’s a piece of filtering and accountability software you can set up that will not only limit your ability to search for porn, but will also let your accountability partner know if you’ve been browsing troublesome sites so they can help you. Many of the men in my group us it and swear by it

Whatever you do, don’t despair. It may take a long time (I’ve been trying to stop for around five years now), but freedom is possible. Just make sure to continue striving to shop, and if you fail, go to confession.

If you’re in the DFW area of Texas, send me a PM and I can get you information about my recovery group. We’re actually meeting tonight. We also have meetings on Thursdays and Saturdays.

 

[hotdiggity]

Look into the Angelic Warfare Confraternity

Consider a local 12 step program like SA (sexaholics anonymous)

Frequent the confessional and sacraments,

Find an accountability partner.

If you’re using your computer for porn, get rid of your computer. If using your phone, get a flip phone.

PM me if you want. Porn addiction is serious and has grave consequences.

 

[patricius79]

first of all, sorry for all the following explicit words. i just wanna confess and describe my current situation i’m into.

i’m almost 32, single guy, still have no girlfriend yet (still haven’t met the right girl), and i wanna have sex to a woman so bad… maybe it’s bcoz biological needs of never had sex before (i’m still virgin and i’m proud of it)… so when i can’t hold on to the lust that pushes me, i often surf for porns on the net, download it, and watch it and then do the hand job…

i know it is very wrong but what should i do?? i’m still either haven’t found the right girl and i don’t wanna force my relation with the girl i didn’t like, so it’s better for me to stay single for now…

and, after doing those stuffs for (quite) long, right now, i think i kinda addicted to porn…

what should i do?? on the other hand, i love women so much… in the other hand, being lustful to them (women) is a sin! (even by just imagining them)

please help and pray a lot for me…

I will pray for you. Please pray to the Mother of God. Say her name when you feel tempted or troubled. She will always help you and will help you to receive your sexual feelings in a moral way, and to integrate your natural sexual feelings into a life of true freedom and love. Trust her.

 

[Robert_Sock]

I do not like being sexually aroused. I find that there are far better things, like the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit that include wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and the fear of God. I find that quieting my mind and focusing on these free gifts has helped rid myself of sexual desires.

There are also certain medications that can drastically reduce the libido. Anybody wanting to reduce their sex drive may want to talk to their doctor.

Porn is the self-infliction of sexual abuse and can have a lasting negative effect on a person. My advice is to seek professional help, not just with those in mental health, but especially those proficient in spiritual health.

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured many trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.
-The Imitation of Christ

 

[S_A_M]

@all of you guys: thank you so much for your replies and supports. btw, i lived in Indonesia. you guys know that place? well, if you guys don’t know it’s in asia. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indonesia

for my problem, i guess i just have to find the right girl to be my wife. but, still i think it’s pretty hard to find the right girl. it’s frustrating but i’ll keep trying.

please pray for me.

 

[Eddie_Mac]

Matt Fradd has some interesting perspectives on porn addiction.

http://mattfradd.com

After years (decades!) of repeatedly confessing watching porn and masturbating I did an honest examination of conscience and came to the conclusion that even after confessing and saying my Act of Contrition, I never intended to stop my sins of pornography and self gratification. Coming to this realization enabled me to face my addictions head on and focus on removing those things in my life that placed me in the near occasions of my sins and instead focus on fighting my desires and not offending my God, who is all good and deserving of all my love.

I now pray to Our Blessed Mother through the Memorare and Hail Mary when I lapse into moments of lustful thoughts and she helps me through my trials. It has been three weeks now since my last reconciliation, and with her help I will continue.

 

[fbl9]

first of all, sorry for all the following explicit words. i just wanna confess and describe my current situation i’m into.

i’m almost 32, single guy, still have no girlfriend yet (still haven’t met the right girl), and i wanna have sex to a woman so bad… maybe it’s bcoz biological needs of never had sex before (i’m still virgin and i’m proud of it)… so when i can’t hold on to the lust that pushes me, i often surf for porns on the net, download it, and watch it and then do the hand job…

i know it is very wrong but what should i do?? i’m still either haven’t found the right girl and i don’t wanna force my relation with the girl i didn’t like, so it’s better for me to stay single for now…

and, after doing those stuffs for (quite) long, right now, i think i kinda addicted to porn…

what should i do?? on the other hand, i love women so much… in the other hand, being lustful to them (women) is a sin! (even by just imagining them)

please help and pray a lot for me…

Just my thoughts…As a christian one ought to desire the salvation of others as well. And by using porn to satisfy one’s self they are making the souls of the performers like the rag used to clean themselves up.
For example there is no sin in a married couple filming themselves. But releasing the film to be viewed by others becomes a sin, one views the film, thus sinning, now the couple become implicit in the guilt of the sins of the watcher. One becomes implicit in the guilt of all porn just by watching it, because by watching porn one is justifying the production of it.

 

[nuntym]

+JMJ+

emergency.nofap.com/religious

Place this website in the most prominent part of your browser’s bookmark toolbar.

Place it in your phone.

Whenever you feel that urge going on, say a little prayer, go to that website and click “Emergency”.

 

[Deus_tecum]

I think you should visit the brainonporn (might be thisisyourbrainonporn) website to find out why viewing porn is really bad for you. For one thing, when you do find a wife she may not be as perfect as those porn actresses. You don’t want images of them in your head on your wedding night, or to find yourself comparing her to them. There should be all sorts of resources there to help you break the cycle.

 

[Seizin]

My understanding is that masturbation is a venial sin. Does use of porn increase this? Of coarse I assume they go together.

I think some women believe that we males only get excited when a pretty female enters the room, and when she leaves we go back to thinking about sports and changing our spark plugs. NOT SO! sexual pressure grows exponentially. If I did not “relieve” myself I would become a raving mad man who could not do anything constructive. I told a priest that once and he seemed truly surprised. Am I the only one? If I don’t get that release sexual tension eclipses my thoughts. Is it realistic to say one should not do this?

 

[fbl9]

My understanding is that masturbation is a venial sin. Does use of porn increase this? Of coarse I assume they go together.

I think some women believe that we males only get excited when a pretty female enters the room, and when she leaves we go back to thinking about sports and changing our spark plugs. NOT SO! sexual pressure grows exponentially. If I did not “relieve” myself I would become a raving mad man who could not do anything constructive. I told a priest that once and he seemed truly surprised. Am I the only one? If I don’t get that release sexual tension eclipses my thoughts. Is it realistic to say one should not do this?

Why are you thinking about sex in the first place. Changing plugs is much better thinking, while your at it, maybe a cam, well some more induction is needed now, bigger exhaust.

 

[Seizin]

So is the use of porn/masturbation ever considered acceptable by the Church?

 

[fbl9]

So is the use of porn/masturbation ever considered acceptable by the Church?

No it never has been or will be considered acceptable.

 

[S_A_M]

thx for all replies…

appreciate it…

btw, one of my biggest fear, and also one of my biggest excuses on doing masturbation is:

if i didn’t masturbate, i’m affraid my mr. p (you know what i mean?) getting lame and lamer?

that kinda feeling is haunting and worries me…

 

[fbl9]

thx for all replies…

appreciate it…

btw, one of my biggest fear, and also one of my biggest excuses on doing masturbation is:

if i didn’t masturbate, i’m affraid my mr. p (you know what i mean?) getting lame and lamer?

that kinda feeling is haunting and worries me…

Don’t worry it won’t fall off.
I bet you don’t feel satisfied just relived that’s out of the way for now.
M is a self feeding master, it gives you enough to keep going. It is a difficult thing to conquer alone . We all need the Grace of God to win.

 

[nuntym]

+JMJ+

thx for all replies…

appreciate it…

btw, one of my biggest fear, and also one of my biggest excuses on doing masturbation is:

if i didn’t masturbate, i’m affraid my mr. p (you know what i mean?) getting lame and lamer?

that kinda feeling is haunting and worries me…

As fbl9 said, don’t worry, Mr P won’t fall off

But I think this post is something you should study closely, S_A_M, because it clearly shows how the enemy works against us, not just in temptations to lust, but temptations to everything.

The enemy’s actions have these characteristics:

(1) they always attack the imagination - “i’m affraid my mr. p (you know what i mean?) getting lame and lamer”

(2) they always give a litany of excuses, reasons, and fears - “one of my biggest fear, and also one of my biggest excuses”

(3) they always give distress - “that kinda feeling is haunting and worries me”

Who is this enemy? The Church has always maintained that temptation always come from either or more of three sources: the evil spirits, you, or the world. In the end, it does not matter which of these is the source of a particular temptation, hence “enemy” is the term used for any and all of them.

The good spirit - either God Himself or one of His angels - act almost oppositely, and their actions have these characteristics:

(1) they always affect your reason and conscience

(2) their effect may be harder to detect if you are distressed, but once you quiet your soul (even a little) and look for them in your soul, the effect is quiet strength, inspiration and peace.

 

[S_A_M]

+JMJ+

As fbl9 said, don’t worry, Mr P won’t fall off

But I think this post is something you should study closely, S_A_M, because it clearly shows how the enemy works against us, not just in temptations to lust, but temptations to everything.

The enemy’s actions have these characteristics:

(1) they always attack the imagination - “i’m affraid my mr. p (you know what i mean?) getting lame and lamer”

(2) they always give a litany of excuses, reasons, and fears - “one of my biggest fear, and also one of my biggest excuses”

(3) they always give distress - “that kinda feeling is haunting and worries me”

Who is this enemy? The Church has always maintained that temptation always come from either or more of three sources: the evil spirits, you, or the world. In the end, it does not matter which of these is the source of a particular temptation, hence “enemy” is the term used for any and all of them.

The good spirit - either God Himself or one of His angels - act almost oppositely, and their actions have these characteristics:

(1) they always affect your reason and conscience

(2) their effect may be harder to detect if you are distressed, but once you quiet your soul (even a little) and look for them in your soul, the effect is quiet strength, inspiration and peace.

and after all this long, i still do it (though sometimes i can hold it), even, i just did it twice. but after read your msg, i feel more calm. it gives me hope. i wanna keep fighting this. to control myself. to conquer the devil with the God’s name. please pray for me. so God sent Holy Spirit to dwell within me. please.

 

[thebigbang]

I admit that I’m turned off by photos of naked women, but I’m addicted to seeing photos and videos of women being bound and gagged. These have caused me to masturbate a lot because I’m turned on by women all tied up and gagged. I feel for these ladies in their predicament, yet I’m turned on by it. I don’t have a sex life or a social life and I end up neglecting duties that have to be done at home(I don’t look at these photos or videos at work). What am I to do?

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Years ago a wise old priest told me “until the reason to avoid the sin becomes stronger than the desire, you’ll continue to fail.”

The reason of course is our love of God, who wants us to live in his grace, which can only happen when we are free of sin.

Prayer is the key component in growing closer to God, where his transforming grace will bring us toward union with Him.

From a pragmatic point of view, keep in mind that the people who run porn sites, will do anything for money. Their lust for money has no boundaries and they’d sell their own mothers in order to achieve wealth.

When you go into porn sites, you feed them with affirmation that they have an audience.

So, staying out of porn sites is a must.

You will still have physical desires, which are more often than not, hormone driven.

But as Pope Francis advises, don’t try to get into rationalizing committing the sin, for you will give in. Turn to the Blessed Mother in prayer and ask for her help.

God Bless
Jim