I Guess This Should Go Here

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Ego_Svm_Nemo

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Long story short: I’m 24 years old, and in about 6-7 months, I’m going to be dead. And any prayers couldn’t hurt at this point.

Short story long: I need to get this off my chest so this will be kind of long…

About last August I felt like something clicked in my mind and told me that I would be dead in less than a year.

It’s just a gut-feeling, nothing more substantial than that.

I’ve changed my lifestyle around tremendously. I’ve become healthier for the singular point that I feel like something or someone is going to kill me in the near future and I should try to make it difficult for them/it…

I’ve only told one person about this feeling, and thankfully I no longer speak to that person (She was emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive, and I’ve cut them out of life, but that’s a thread for another time…)

I’ve gone to mass, prayed for an explanation for why I’m feeling this way, and I haven’t gotten any response. In addition to the deafening silence that I get from God, I’ve just gotten more gut feelings…

Things along the lines of “look around you, see these people, if you fight to live by avoiding what’s coming, then pick some of these people and they will die in your place, if you don’t avoid what’s coming, then these people will all live long happy lives. simply put, one life for many.”

If I was truly born to die for others, I would like to know why… If I KNEW with absolute certainty that one of the people that will live because I died a violent death were to go on to bring about world peace, or cure cancer, or even the common cold, or invent cold fusion, or give humanity cheap access to outer space space, or a universal translator, or even just a better mouse trap, I could probably accept it, but nope, no reason is given to me… I could even accept it if it weren’t someone directly, but one of their descendants that humanity really needs, I die, allowing the mother, grandmother or even great grandmother of the next Einstein or Newton or John Paul II to be born…

I’m honestly close to the point where I should just accept that God doesn’t give a damn about little ol’ me.

A silver lining to this is that I’ve decided that if January 1st, 2011 rolls around and I haven’t assumed room temperature, then I’ll know it’s all been in my head and I can relax a little bit.
 
It sounds like you have a mental health issue. Most likely obsessive compulsive disorder. Please see a christian counselor or a counselor you can have access to as soon as possible.
These thoughts are not from God. They are obsessive worries from your brain which is not working properly. Please seek help. God has not abandoned you.
 
First, let us be perfectly clear - God does care about you, He created you, and He loves you. Period, nothing that you can say or do will ever change that. We are all free to turn our back on God, but He will never turn his back on us. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Second, whatever feeling that you are having is probably self induced, or coming from some dark place. God does not work in dark or evil ways. I will pray for you and your well being. Do not give up! Keep the faith, and get some counseling. See a priest or talk to somebody that you trust. Do not try to face this alone.

May the Good Lord Bless you and keep you and make His Light to shine upon you.

I ask Mary the Mother of Jesus, Saint Michael the Arch Angel and all of the Angels and Saints to please pray for you.

Take care and do not give up!

NOT JUST STRONG…CATHOLIC STRONG!!!
 
Loving God please ensure that this person tells of these thoughts to a responsible person like a doctor very soon to obtain the help that is needed. Please give this protection to the person and to others around. I make this urgent prayer in the name of the beloved Son.
 
By Pope Leo XIII

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
Ego_Svm_Nemo said:
Long story short: I’m 24 years old, and in about 6-7 months, I’m going to be dead. And any prayers couldn’t hurt at this point.

Short story long: I need to get this off my chest so this will be kind of long…

About last August I felt like something clicked in my mind and told me that I would be dead in less than a year.

It’s just a gut-feeling, nothing more substantial than that.

I’ve changed my lifestyle around tremendously. I’ve become healthier for the singular point that I feel like something or someone is going to kill me in the near future and I should try to make it difficult for them/it…

I’ve only told one person about this feeling, and thankfully I no longer speak to that person (She was emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive, and I’ve cut them out of life, but that’s a thread for another time…)

I’ve gone to mass, prayed for an explanation for why I’m feeling this way, and I haven’t gotten any response. In addition to the deafening silence that I get from God, I’ve just gotten more gut feelings…

Things along the lines of “look around you, see these people, if you fight to live by avoiding what’s coming, then pick some of these people and they will die in your place, if you don’t avoid what’s coming, then these people will all live long happy lives. simply put, one life for many.”

If I was truly born to die for others, I would like to know why… If I KNEW with absolute certainty that one of the people that will live because I died a violent death were to go on to bring about world peace, or cure cancer, or even the common cold, or invent cold fusion, or give humanity cheap access to outer space space, or a universal translator, or even just a better mouse trap, I could probably accept it, but nope, no reason is given to me… I could even accept it if it weren’t someone directly, but one of their descendants that humanity really needs, I die, allowing the mother, grandmother or even great grandmother of the next Einstein or Newton or John Paul II to be born…

I’m honestly close to the point where I should just accept that God doesn’t give a damn about little ol’ me.

A silver lining to this is that I’ve decided that if January 1st, 2011 rolls around and I haven’t assumed room temperature, then I’ll know it’s all been in my head and I can relax a little bit.
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yup mental problems are crazy huh ? heres a good bible verse i hope you take it to heart.

Psalm 118:17 (King James Version)

17- I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.

God bless you and all yours!
 
Dear friend i am so sorry you are feeling like this.You must feel very frightened.God hears all prayers.God answers in many different ways and it may not be the answer YOU were expecting.You were guided here to CAF!! You will make many friends here.I will certainly keep you in my prayers.Sometimes when we have thoughts such as you have been experiencing we may not be aware that perhaps we have a mental health issue that is causing this thought pattern.May i suggest (as others have)that you see your doctor & tell them how you are feeling & the thoughts you have been experiencing.Also at the same time continue to pray to God.Trust in Him.God loves all His children He will not want any harm to come to any of His children.If you are catholic speak to your priest.We will all be praying for you.May God bless you

Prayer of Abandonment

Father, I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me,
and in all Your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
For you are my Father.
–Charles de Foucauld (1858-1916)

Glorious Apostle, St. Jude Thaddeus, I salute you through the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Through His Heart I praise and thank God for all the graces he has bestowed on you. I implore you, through His love to look upon ‘Ego_Svm_ Nemo’ with compassion. Do not despise my poor prayer. Do not let their trust be confounded! God has granted to you the privilege of aiding mankind in the most desperate cases. Oh come to this person’s aid that they may praise the mercies of God! All my life I will be your grateful client until I can thank you in heaven. Amen.
St. Jude, pray for us,
And for all who invoke your aid.
 
Lord, please heal Ego_SvM_Nemo and help him/her to understand how much he/she is loved by you. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer. Amen.
 
Dear Lord,
I need you now because I am full of stress and anxiety. Reading your Word brings comfort, as I ask you to come and take my heavy burdens. I take each burden, one by one, and lay them at your feet. Please carry them for me so that I don’t have to. Replace them with your humble and gentle yoke so that I will find rest for my soul today. I receive your gift of peace of mind and heart. Thank you that I can lie down tonight in peace and sleep. I know that you, Lord, will keep me safe. I am not afraid because you are always with me. Please keep me daily, Lord, in your perfect peace.
Amen
 
Okay, first of all, thanks for thoughts and prayers.

Second, just to set the record straight:

I am not suicidal. I also don’t think this “gut feeling” is any sort of paranoia (Or at least I hope and pray it’s not… :gopray2: )

I’ve laid out this gut feeling in detail before, and I was laughed at by that “…friend…” (yeah… can you just feel the animosity there…) So I’m reluctant to lay it all out again.
 
Ego_Svm_Nemo,

God bless you for opening up to us here who do very much care and would never think of laughing at your concerns. Remember that just because one so-called friend was insensitive that doesn’t mean that all people will be, and surely not sincere people of faith.

Having been a Protestant pastor for over 10 years (seeking conversion to Roman Catholicism as we speak) if there is one thing I know for certain, it is that Satan’s sole purpose is to try to divide us from God. How does he do this? Primarily by planting doubts in our heads about God and his love and concern for us. Any such thoughts are no doubt from Satan. That said, you might be wise in getting to know Mother Theresa’s story a bit better. In the book “Mother Theresa - Come Be My Light” her personal diaries are revealed to us and there we see that she went for very long periods of time without getting a “sign”, a “feeling” of God’s care, an “ecstatic experience”. She knew what we need to know - that faith is about clinging to God through Christ Jesus even when everything our eyes, ears, and heart tell us suggests that God doesn’t care. Faith is trusting God in spite of what we feel and knowing that God doesn’t, I repeat, doesn’t cause the death of anyone, much less for an arbitrary or useless purpose. No priest worth his salt will laugh at you and your concern. If he does, then he proves he doesn’t belong as a priest - not that you shouldn’t open up and talk to someone trustworthy. God will, I repeat will help you and see you through this. Just remember when the Scripture says he will not give you any more than you can handle, remember that the “you” is plural, meaning “you all”, meaning we are not supposed to try to endure on our own, but we are each a part of the body of Christ, the Church and thus we not only need God, but one another to get through whatever crisis we may face, including a faith crisis.

Gracious Father in heaven, through Jesus Christ your Son, you told us that perfect love casts out fear. Ego_Svm_Nemo is afraid of what is believed to be a premonition of a violent death that is supposed to happen in the not too distant future, and furthermore that you Lord don’t care one whit about this. You are perfect love thus you are surely able, and not only able but perfectly willing to cast out such fear. With all of the others here who are praying, along with Mary our Mother and all the angels and saints, I beseech you to do what is needed in accordance with your holy will to help Ego_Svm_Nemo endure this attack of Satan and to cling to you in spite of whatever feelings come. Do this please so that Ego_Svm_Nemo’s faith will be strengthened and that you will be glorified, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
 
Ego_Svm_Nemo said:
Okay, first of all, thanks for thoughts and prayers.

Second, just to set the record straight:

I am not suicidal. I also don’t think this “gut feeling” is any sort of paranoia (Or at least I hope and pray it’s not… :gopray2: )

I’ve laid out this gut feeling in detail before, and I was laughed at by that “…friend…” (yeah… can you just feel the animosity there…) So I’m reluctant to lay it all out again.
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well i took it as, you think people are out to kill you and have had death threats made against you so i didnt think you were suicidal, paranoid, yes, cause i’ve been there. felt that. anyways its all in your head i guess huh, luckily God hears and knows and sees everything. so he hears your thoughts Ego. its also not bad to pray out loud if not your mind will do the trick. Peace. 👍
 
Trishie said:
By Pope Leo XIII

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.
Click to expand...
Amen.
 
Eph 1:17-19
I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of
wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart
enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches
of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his
power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power.

Prayer of St. Augustine
Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy. Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy. Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen.
 
O God who are the only source of health and healing,
the Spirit of calm
and the central peace of this universe,
grant to this person such a consciousness of Your indwelling
and surrounding presence
that they may permit You
to give health and strength and peace,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.
 
O dearest Lored, please be with this precious one now. Grant him peace & serenity; banish false & evil thoughts from his the young person’s mind; grant this person a constant sense of Your most loving presence. Help thsi person to resist the temptation to despair & provide the courage needed to seek whatever help is necessary to bring spiritual healing & health.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my intentions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me.

Amen
 
Nobody can know with absolute certainly when they are going to die. All we can do is prepare for that moment by praying and trusting in God’s Mercy and see where He leads you.

Praying for your peace of mind …
 
Loving Lord Jesus,
whose hands are underneath our lowest feelings
to support us as we rest in you.
Hold me in this dark place
and sustain my life with your hope.
Let the light of your love warm my heart,
and your Holy Spirit, the comforter,
be with me to lift me up.

Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
PSALM 139 ( 138)

O Lord, you search me and you know me,
you know my resting and my rising,
you discern my purpose from afar.
You mark when I walk or lie down;
all my ways lie open before you.

O where can I go from your spirit,
or where can I flee from your face?
If I climb the heavens, you are there.
If I lie in the grave, you are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn
and dwell at the sea’s furthest end,
even there your hand would lead me,
your right hand would hold me fast.

For it was you who created my being,
knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I thank you for the wonder of my being,
for the wonders of all your creation.
 
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