E
Eremitic
Guest
I had a desire for a married woman to be mine.
I am sometimes tempted by my memory and imagination. The temptation comes from my passions and desires (for opposite sex) not regulated by right reason (you can’t desire a married woman). I had these strong emotions (of desire and love that she be mine) overpowering me when I was only slightly reminded of her. I had to fight not to think and not to desire (emotions), and not to consent to venereal pleasure (body) I was feeling and experiencing. They suddenly come and go.
I think that a demon sometimes (devil) starts the whole process (temptation) by reminding me of her, hoping I would consent to a memory or to form a fantasy of our future life together. Or he is very observant of my actions and knows my personality and inner life (past sins, desires, needs and hopes) and just adds more fuel to the fire.
In addition to my passions and the devil my body (the lower appetites) sometimes starts the whole process. I start thinking of her or the devil reminds me of her when the situation is just right (concupiscence enkindled).
I have these thoughts frequently, any time of the day. This is the sin I am most frequently tempted to commit. Today and yesterday I had imaginations about her and me together, and the emotions started tormenting me. I was trying not to think and consent although I was feeling delight. Only my will was not consenting because I consider it to be a mortal sin if I consent. The problem was I rejected these thoughts after I took some delight and after I finished imagining. I was like, what am I thinking and rejected these thoughts when I became fully conscious of what I was thinking. So my question is did I commit:
a.) Mortal Sin: I did consent to some delight (I think) and to these imaginations but rejected them when I became fully conscious of what I was thinking.
b.) Venial Sin: I didn’t have perfect consent of the will although I think I did consent partially to delight but not fully to the imaginations. I actually rejected them rather slowly and a little late. Not enough force, AS NO, NO or praying immediately.
c.) An Imperfection: Because of my past sins, desires, lower appetite and weakness I easily fall into temptations against purity. Although I experienced delight against my will (not sure if I consented partially) I rejected the temptation a little slow and felt like I was forced to think these thoughts.
d.) Merit: I rejected them as I said a little late after thinking them and being conscious of the sin presented to me; so after realizing what I was thinking I said: I am not consenting, I don’t want this, God I am not consenting I see this as wrong and a sin against you; although my emotions and body delighted my will didn’t consent. I just didn’t pray immediately. It took me a while to realize what was happening and just Say NO, NO.
I am sometimes tempted by my memory and imagination. The temptation comes from my passions and desires (for opposite sex) not regulated by right reason (you can’t desire a married woman). I had these strong emotions (of desire and love that she be mine) overpowering me when I was only slightly reminded of her. I had to fight not to think and not to desire (emotions), and not to consent to venereal pleasure (body) I was feeling and experiencing. They suddenly come and go.
I think that a demon sometimes (devil) starts the whole process (temptation) by reminding me of her, hoping I would consent to a memory or to form a fantasy of our future life together. Or he is very observant of my actions and knows my personality and inner life (past sins, desires, needs and hopes) and just adds more fuel to the fire.
In addition to my passions and the devil my body (the lower appetites) sometimes starts the whole process. I start thinking of her or the devil reminds me of her when the situation is just right (concupiscence enkindled).
I have these thoughts frequently, any time of the day. This is the sin I am most frequently tempted to commit. Today and yesterday I had imaginations about her and me together, and the emotions started tormenting me. I was trying not to think and consent although I was feeling delight. Only my will was not consenting because I consider it to be a mortal sin if I consent. The problem was I rejected these thoughts after I took some delight and after I finished imagining. I was like, what am I thinking and rejected these thoughts when I became fully conscious of what I was thinking. So my question is did I commit:
a.) Mortal Sin: I did consent to some delight (I think) and to these imaginations but rejected them when I became fully conscious of what I was thinking.
b.) Venial Sin: I didn’t have perfect consent of the will although I think I did consent partially to delight but not fully to the imaginations. I actually rejected them rather slowly and a little late. Not enough force, AS NO, NO or praying immediately.
c.) An Imperfection: Because of my past sins, desires, lower appetite and weakness I easily fall into temptations against purity. Although I experienced delight against my will (not sure if I consented partially) I rejected the temptation a little slow and felt like I was forced to think these thoughts.
d.) Merit: I rejected them as I said a little late after thinking them and being conscious of the sin presented to me; so after realizing what I was thinking I said: I am not consenting, I don’t want this, God I am not consenting I see this as wrong and a sin against you; although my emotions and body delighted my will didn’t consent. I just didn’t pray immediately. It took me a while to realize what was happening and just Say NO, NO.