I had a disagreement with my girlfriend

[Alg1967]

Hi. I’m a baptized catholic but I never completed all my sacraments. Recently I fell in love with a lady who is a strict literal Catholic, she reintroduced me to the faith. I started RCIA she was sponsoring me. On one of our classes we were discussing salvation the priest was answering questions and someone asked about other Christian faiths, are they also saved? Father answered I feel sorry for them, at that very moment my girlfriend stood up and walked out.The father went on to expand on his answer about purgatory and judgement. In the end I understood form the discussion that our Father knows us better that we know ourselves he knows where our heart is. On the way home she was livid she kept on saying that the priest was wrong and he wasn’t teaching me anything. I tried my best to point out everything the priest said, yet she wasn’t convinced. The next class topic was should the Bible be taken literally, before the class we were in my home going over a catechism study guide, she said god is angry, I said why would god be angry. This escalated into a shouting match. She walked out and hasn’t returned my calls, So my question are is god angry? Should we live unhappy because everything we do is a sin?

 

[CatholicSpirit]

Tell her that we believe in ecumenical relationships with other Christians but they have a lot of different standpoints we simply cannot accept.

One example is James 5:16, the Protestants and so forth claim they are “strictly by the book” but we know the truth. If people all confessed to “each other” it would be mayhem, they simply aren’t doing that. We use a confessional to solve the problem, and we “keep going” because it “keeps working.”

How much less as a group do you think we have versus those who claim to follow the Bible better than we do,
But when it comes to fixing sin, simply don’t?

 

[Irishmom2]

OP, be careful. Your girlfriend being a “strict literal Catholic” could bring some problems. She may believe she knows things as truth that are not actually true. She may expect you to believe as she does “or else.”

If you want to continue learning the truth of your faith, do, by all means, continue in your RCIA classes. If she persists causing a scene and arguing that she is right and they are wrong, you may need to rethink your relationship.

Welcome home!

 

[Dan_Defender]

Interesting turn of events. It sounds like your potential girlfriend wants God to be angry and send everyone to Hell except for the strict angry Catholics? This reminds me of the parable of the prodigal son and how the faithful son got angry at his father for forgiving his repentant brother. If I were you, I’d be seriously thinking of not continue seeing this girl. However, God works in mysterious ways he brought you this far you seem to have your heart in the right place so you should continue the RCIA program. As a side note, you are so lucky the RCIA is being given by the priest himself! That is a blessing in itself as in many parishes RCIA is given by lay people.

 

[redbetta]

What is a strict literal Catholic supposed to mean? Catholics don’t take every part of the Bible literally. To be honest, she sounds more like a Catholic-flavored fundamentalist Protestant than an actual Catholic.

 

[TheLittleLady]

. I started RCIA she was sponsoring me.

Every program I have been involved with greatly discourages romantic partners from sponsoring each other. It can cause problems if they break up, can even put undue pressure on the conversion.

What we do is suggest, if the man is the non-Christian coming into the Faith and the woman is the Catholic, that the woman sponsor another woman in the class and the man find a male sponsor.

It sounds as if your girlfriend has some of her own issues with the Faith. Like they tell people in emergencies, make sure your own oxygen mask is secure before helping someone else. Let her get her own things sorted out.

Find a sponsor (surely there are some men in the parish that are helping out in RCIA, or ask Father to introduce you to some other men) and continue on.

 

[Crusader13]

Apologies, but I’m a little confused as to what exactly is the understanding that the priest was trying to convey and how it conflicted with your girlfriend’s views.

Was the priest saying that nobody outside the church will be saved and your girlfriend believes otherwise or was it vice versa?

 

[1ke]

Your girlfriend is out there in cuckoo land my friend.

She has a weird view of Catholicism, and she doesnt exactly have a sparkling personality.

She is not accurately representing Catholic teaching. She sounds pretty ignorant, and worse— not open to correction or learning.

I’m glad you have found your way back to the faith. Consider that this girl may not be right for you. Unless she learns some better communication skills and grows up considerably she might not be for anyone.

 

[PennyinCanada]

I am very happy that you are rediscovering your faith. I came into the church in my 20’s and never want to go back to living a life without God in it.

Dating is a time that a person discerns regarding their life partner. You got some very important information that evening on her temperament. A person who storms out as she did, and has shouting match with you is someone I would run from. That may not matter since she hasn’t returned your calls. You may have dodged a bullet there.

I hope you continue attending RCIA. God is amazing in his love for us and I hope you continue to walk with him every day. We need men of prayer who will draw down graces on this world that is so desperate for grace. Your life matters to God and he has a plan for your life that no one else can do!

 

[halogirl]

Father could have been using humour there and it hasn’t come across to her . He could have been about to say ‘I feel sorry for them - ‘ and then made a joke then went on to explain that they are our separated brethren. Sounds like she has some other issues going on and jumped to conclusions. For example in our RCIA our priest asked my faith background and then said ‘what’s wrong with the Methodist church then?’ And later on ‘be careful or you’ll end up becoming a Catholic ‘ but he was just kidding

 

[Lara]

If you are both in love with each other, it’s possible she will feel insecure if you are at odds with her. And it can take the first year of dating to sort out those differences. However, it doesn’t sound like she’s up for that.

 

[MyLily321]

My advice would be to pray for her. It sounds like she does not have peace in her heart, whether it is about the topics in class or something else bothering her in her life.

It is great that you are in RCIA! Keep going to the classes and perhaps speak to the priest or someone about possibly having a different sponsor just in case she decides she doesn’t want to continue?

I will keep you in my prayers!

 

[Vico]

… are they also saved? …
So my question are is god angry? Should we live unhappy because everything we do is a sin?

God is said to be angry by analogy because there is justice, see Romans 12

19 Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.

Deuteronomy 32
35 Revenge is mine, and I will repay them in due time, that their foot may slide: the day of destruction is at hand, and the time makes haste to come.

Everything we do is not a sin. We should be unhappy when we sin.
Catechism

1451 Among the penitent’s acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is “sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again.”

It is possible, per Catholic teaching that non-Catholics are saved. The advantage of Catholic faith is that the sacraments are available.

Catechism “Outside the Church there is no salvation”

846 How are we to understand this affirmation, often repeated by the Church Fathers? Re-formulated positively, it means that all salvation comes from Christ the Head through the Church which is his Body …
847 This affirmation is not aimed at those who, through no fault of their own, do not know Christ and his Church: …
848 “Although in ways known to himself God can lead those who, through no fault of their own, are ignorant of the Gospel, to that faith without which it is impossible to please him, the Church still has the obligation and also the sacred right to evangelize all men.”

 

[Ardent_Fire]

I’m not sure who needs the RCIA class more – you or her.

Also, giving you the silent treatment instead of discussing it like adults is not a good look on her part.

 

[PJH_74]

She walked out and hasn’t returned my calls

She’s not marriage material at the moment. I don’t know what is driving her, buy my way or the highway is no marriage. As for the is God angry, I don’t think so, but stick to your RCIA if you want actual Catholic teaching.

 

[poche]

I am reminded about one of my aunts. About 80 years ago, one of the nuns told her class that all of the non Catholics were going straight to Hell when they died. My great grandmother was not Catholic and so my aunt objected. She shouted at the nun. The nun took her to the Mgr’s office for a ‘talk’ When my aunt explained to the Mgr that her grandmother was a Protestant and that she was a good woman and she should not be going to Hell, the Mgr replied, “That nun is crazy, don’t pay any more attention to her.”

 

[otrrl]

People are expressing relationship advice here. You are the final judge of that situation (along with her).

The last verse of John’s gospel says something like this, that if everything that Jesus did were written, it would fill all the books in the world. Hmmmm. In one sense, perhaps this suggests that each person has such a book of what Jesus has done in his/her life. Maybe people contemplating marriage should think about this, what Jesus has done in each other’s lives.

 

[CatholicWife1]

Be careful in having relationships with women who are prone to anger. It can escalate into abuse faster than you realize. The situation you describe is already toxic. I speak from firsthand experience. I’ve met too many females who have serious anger issues. She wants to control you. Please, be careful.

And no, God is not angry. God is love incarnate.

 

[Gabika50]

Reference your titile- welcome to the human condition; and if the Bible were taken literally, go explain two flood accounts and two creation accounts. Make the faith a point of conversion rather than diversion and untity as oposed to devisiveness.

 

[Legend]

OP,

If you’re still reading this thread, I hope you are taking at least some of the advice given;

I don’t think you said how old you, and your girlfriend, are, but, if you’re anywhere near considering marriage, I’d really take her attitude into account. It seems as if she was angry with you (for not immediately following her out of church?) when it really was time for discussion! You should be learning, and she should be helping you! Unless what the priest said was clearly against faith, morals, or other known Catholic christian teaching, she, as a Catholic, should be taking his word as the truth, until checking things out for herself, at least!

You have been given some good advice. Yes, you should seek another sponsor, a man, ideally one strong in his faith. Otherwise, if you convert, and later break up, you might always be blaming each other, when your faith seems to fail you, or things just don’t seem to be going well-in short, during the course of a normal human life!

So, keep the faith, keep going to church, and don’t let this woman, or anyone, for that matter, rob you of what you’ve already learned! However it works out with this girl, your faith is yours for a lifetime!

God Bless!