I had a true awakening...re: the marital embrace

[TIME]

And one more suggestion (BTW, I’m really happy for you!) - take it all to confession and receive forgiveness for any part of the whole thing for which you may be culpable. You received a big infusion of grace to “see” what you had not understood before. Now you have a lot of joy - the sacramental grace from confession will sustain you when the joy fades a bit and you realize that sacrifice of your own will is not always easy. It will be a wonderful new beginning, especially during Advent.

Betsy

To add to what Besty said, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is soooo wonderful for cleansing our heart, souls, minds and bodies as the Holy Spirit purifies us inside and out. This is an example of a confession we had on the Sacraments Forum. These are not necessarily my sins, the sins of Forum Mgmt. or it’s Advertisers, etc, etc.

• As you make the Sign of the Cross, say: Bless me Father for I have sinned it has been, XX weeks, months, years since my last confession. Since then:
• I looked at impure pictures and images, XX times or many, many times in the last 1 1/2yrs.(or several dozen times).
• I have been impure with myself in self gratification, XX times or many, many times in the last 1 1/2yrs.(or several dozen times).
• I have not followed the teachings of the Church and done things with my spouse in our marriage that have not been within Church Teachings of Conjugal Love.
• I have been impure with a women/man outside my marriage XX times(or several/many times over the last 10yrs.
• I have been impure with a women/man and not yet married, XX times(or several/many times over the last 2yrs.
• I have received the Eucharist during this time of sinfulness also.
• I have been selfish and not given to my husband/wife and our marriage, as fully as I should, XX times(or several/many times over the last 1 1/2yrs.
• I have been neglectful of my children and not set a good example for them XX times in the past year.
• I have disobeyed my parents and been disrespectful to them XX times in the past year.
• I missed Sunday/Holy Day Mass XX in the past year.
• Etc.
• Etc.

When you have finished confessing all the sins that you remember, say:
 For these sins and all the sins of my past life, especially the sins against…(mention the most important virtues, like Purity, Chastity, Honesty, Charity, Humility, etc.) I ask absolution and penance from you, Father.

Act of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry
for having offended you.
I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven
and the pains of hell;
but most of all because they offend you,
my God, who are all good
and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace,
to sin no more, to do penance,
and to amend my life. Amen.

Reference:
confessions101.com/english/si…e=Question%201
oursaviournyc.org/how-to-make…d-confession#5
frpat.com/reconciliation.htm
catholic.net/rcc/Periodicals/Faith/1112-96/spirit2.html
americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0303.asp

 

[whatevergirl]

To add to what Besty said, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is soooo wonderful for cleansing our heart, souls, minds and bodies as the Holy Spirit purifies us inside and out. This is an example of a confession we had on the Sacraments Forum. These are not necessarily my sins, the sins of Forum Mgmt. or it’s Advertisers, etc, etc.

• As you make the Sign of the Cross, say: Bless me Father for I have sinned it has been, XX weeks, months, years since my last confession. Since then:
• I looked at impure pictures and images, XX times or many, many times in the last 1 1/2yrs.(or several dozen times).
• I have been impure with myself in self gratification, XX times or many, many times in the last 1 1/2yrs.(or several dozen times).
• I have not followed the teachings of the Church and done things with my spouse in our marriage that have not been within Church Teachings of Conjugal Love.
• I have been impure with a women/man outside my marriage XX times(or several/many times over the last 10yrs.
• I have been impure with a women/man and not yet married, XX times(or several/many times over the last 2yrs.
• I have received the Eucharist during this time of sinfulness also.
• I have been selfish and not given to my husband/wife and our marriage, as fully as I should, XX times(or several/many times over the last 1 1/2yrs.
• I have been neglectful of my children and not set a good example for them XX times in the past year.
• I have disobeyed my parents and been disrespectful to them XX times in the past year.
• I missed Sunday/Holy Day Mass XX in the past year.
• Etc.
• Etc.

When you have finished confessing all the sins that you remember, say:
 For these sins and all the sins of my past life, especially the sins against…(mention the most important virtues, like Purity, Chastity, Honesty, Charity, Humility, etc.) I ask absolution and penance from you, Father.

Act of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry
for having offended you.
I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven
and the pains of hell;
but most of all because they offend you,
my God, who are all good
and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace,
to sin no more, to do penance,
and to amend my life. Amen.

Reference:
confessions101.com/english/si…e=Question%201
oursaviournyc.org/how-to-make…d-confession#5
frpat.com/reconciliation.htm

Thank you TIME…I will add to that, that I have not followed God’s model for sexuality within my marriage–on a consistent basis. You never know, the priest might be impressed hahahaha (kidding of course!)

 

[homewardbound]

I am so happy for you! Its amazing what joy we can have when we finally “get” what God wants from us and are willing to follow Him

Thank you for this thread, and all of you for all others on marriage and what it is to be a good wife and spouse. Although I am not married yet, I will be in the future and with everything I have learned on CAF I know my marriage will be the blessing and gift it is supposed to be. I hope my marriage will always be a means by which I can always be closer to God and serve Him.

I know I went through a similar discovery awhile ago. Unfortunately, I am not a virgin and I used to think it didn’t matter. I thought loving my boyfriend was enough. I thought if it was all that wrong it wouldn’t be so wonderful as it sometimes was. But, I realized after beginning my journey to Catholicism all of these teachings and wow…what a fool I was! My relationship with my boyfriend is so much better when we are chaste. I feel much closer to him without sex. I know now that is because only by staying chaste can I truly be close to him. Because I cannot experience a true pre martial relationship if I am trying to act like I am already married. It doesn’t work that way. I love beeing able to strive towards a closer relationship with God along with my boyfriend. I love praying together and seeking God’s will and guidance. Something we could never do while committing such sins.

Now, I understand that martial embrace is only for marriage and I can’t stand to do anything sexual anymore. Its not worth it. And I look forward to waiting until I am married so I can experience that closeness and unity as it is meant to be experienced. Otherwise, it is so cheap and only pulls us farther and farther away from God. I hope I can be the wife God wills me to be so that together in my marriage we will grow in unity together and get closer to God instead of putting such trivial things in front of everything and separating ourselves from Him.

Anyway, I guess I just want to say thanks for posting these wonderful discoveries here. It definitely has helped me gain a better understanding of what I am to do within my own marriage someday to glorify God.

 

[whatevergirl]

I would like to add that when we follow God…in all things…not just sexuality, of course–life really becomes brighter. Take notice around you, when you are in stride with God. You are not worrying. You are at peace. The struggle with self is over. The struggle with the devil, is over. You are FREE to experience life, as opposed to being caught up in thoughts that take you away from your true self.

And in the beginnning stages of following God’s plan…we may think…Great, I’m following God’s plan, with little zest or fervor. But, over time, and I have experienced this with other issues in my life, that in the giving of myself to God…we become happier. I don’t know how He does that…but He doesn’t want us to follow rules for no apparent reason. In the following of God–we become the best version of ourselves.

 

[TIME]

Thank you TIME…I will add to that, that I have not followed God’s model for sexuality within my marriage–on a consistent basis. You never know, the priest might be impressed hahahaha (kidding of course!)

Wait, Wait, these aren’t my sins.

 

[whatevergirl]

Wait, Wait, these aren’t my sins.

LOL–I meant add to your thread–silly! HA!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

(Did anyone know that I was referring to my dh and me when talking about the hypothetical couple in that thread? Mirror Mirror? 1ke? )

Assumed, but you know what that does.

Anyhow, I saw this thread late last night and have not had a chance to take in all that you have said. I do want to read it and comment. However, I wanted to say to you simply this: :extrahappy:

The Lord works in mysterious ways! God bless and I will try and type more later, maybe?

 

[whatevergirl]

Assumed, but you know what that does.

Anyhow, I saw this thread late last night and have not had a chance to take in all that you have said. I do want to read it and comment. However, I wanted to say to you simply this: :extrahappy:

The Lord works in mysterious ways! God bless and I will try and type more later, maybe?

Thank you MM–You were someone I wanted to thank for your steadfast truth telling techniques. (by the grace of God) I am so grateful to have found this board, albeit with some mixed feelings about my and dh’s future…In reading about NFP, it also sounds like we need to be responsible when thinking about having children.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Thank you MM–You were someone I wanted to thank for your steadfast truth telling techniques. (by the grace of God) I am so grateful to have found this board, albeit with some mixed feelings about my and dh’s future…In reading about NFP, it also sounds like we need to be responsible when thinking about having children.

NFP is all about responsibility, but that is a good thing and who do you want to be responsible for you?

Thanks for the compliment, but the glory goes to God and by His grace and the Holy Spirit, I am able to be on this forum and respond to others out here in cyberspace about the Catholic Church. I, too, have learned so much from this website.

Now, back to your post. I honestly think that this is a great thing for you and I envy you in many ways (not in a bad or sinful way) in that you are able to really give things to God and make a conscious effort to do that. I really struggle with that even though I am able to give it good lip service. I think that your surrender is what has brought about this enlightenment.

I would agree that the teachings about marital sexuality were for me had to take at first. I had the same brainshwashed mentality that most of society does in that it is my bedroom, I will do as I please and you cannot tell me any different. (hands on hips with a defiant look on my face) But then God got to me. He got through my hard head into my even harder heart and pierced it with the truth about sex. About marital sex. About giving to my spouse. My view of sex was so selfish and even at times dimented. Dimented in the fact that I did not really know what it was or what the intent of it was. Looking back on it, I must have been like a lost puppy looking for it’s home or even chasing it’s tail. But then, God got in. He showed me what it truly meant to be “one flesh” with my spouse and what the true meaning of the marital embrace is and should be in our lives. I, like you, wanted to cry.

I was so ashamed of my preconceived views of sex and marriage. I could not believe that I had ever felt that way and had those thoughts in my mind. Why was I so blind? Because I was fed with the “stuff” of society. I was sold the counterfiet version of sex, but I did not know any different. If you are not told different and you do not seach for different, how do you know that there is something else out there? I was happy, why go seach for something that may change that happiness? But there was always that knocking, something telling me that what I was doing was wrong. So I opened the bedroom door and saw my wife standing there (ha ha, sorry had to say it). Little did I know that when I met my DW that she would be the guide that opened my eyes. Her desire to practice NFP pushed me to want to know more about it. That desire let me the TGNAS&M by Christopher West and while it was hard to me to get slapped in the face about what I “thought” was right, it was needed.

That book is the reason that I have the utmost respect in the world for my wife and now when I see her it is in a whole different light than I ever thought possible. I was so blinded before, but so many factors in my life have allowed me to see the light and our decision to learn and practice NFP is one of the, if not the most important factors in seeing that light.

 

[mercygate]

I know, right? I really am so happy…I feel a little freaked out though. Like something today just snapped…(in a good way) I was driving home, and really felt the wisdom of the Holy Spirit upon me…telling me to discuss this with my husband, and to use these words…God’s model of marital sexuality. I was telling Kathy in a pm, that those are not my words!! They are God’s words. "God’s model for sexuality’ is not my way of thinking…seeing that I didn’t believe there was one to begin with.

Ok…I’ll dance with you now!! :extrahappy:

Early in our marriage that same lightbulb went off for us. We were not Catholic. We were contracepting. But suddenly, I just WOKE UP! When I approached my DH about this (with some trepidation, I do not mind telling you), I was astonished that he almost collapsed with RELIEF! Our marriage changed drastically for the better from that instant.

 

[newbetx]

Welcome you and DH to the club! I’ve been here a little over a year now… It was a big change for me, for sure… And I became quite “free” because of it too!

From a confession standpoint, I set up personal meeting with the priest in his office to go over everything… I thought it better than taking up a lot of time while others stood in line hoping to get through in time for Mass… That’s where I found out he gives a copy of TGNASAM to all the engaged couples…

And I want to make sure you realize how special your husband is for caring enough to go through the change with you. You can read all over CAF about those who would not take that walk with their spouse.

 

[whatevergirl]

Welcome you and DH to the club! I’ve been here a little over a year now… It was a big change for me, for sure… And I became quite “free” because of it too!

I do feel freer …my husband is also feeling a bit freer. He is a little anxious that some of the spontaneity will be gone, but we will continue to strive.
From a confession standpoint, I set up personal meeting with the priest in his office to go over everything… I thought it better than taking up a lot of time while others stood in line hoping to get through in time for Mass… That’s where I found out he gives a copy of TGNASAM to all the engaged couples…

I think I will do this–thank you for the idea.

And I want to make sure you realize how special your husband is for caring enough to go through the change with you. You can read all over CAF about those who would not take that walk with their spouse.

Yes…he surprises me every day…I’m blessed to be married to him.

 

[Red_Meg]

Excellent!!!:bounce:

Isn’t God amazing?

I had a similar experience once, long ago, except for me it was still on a theoretical level. I was a freshman in college, and had already decided that what the Church taught about sex (and all I understood were the “rules of behavior,” not the logic and love behind them!) was complete rubbish.

God, in His wonderful mercy, kindly whacked me over the head with what a friend of mine calls “The Holy 2-by-4.” Sounds like you experienced something similar.

My biggest panic after the fact was that I suddenly knew, on a gut level, that everything I’d thought before was wrong, but was at a loss to explain it to anybody else. I had a lot of catchup reading and study to do… You’re very lucky to have access to all these great resources online to help you learn more, plus all the great books that have been written. When I had my little whack-on-the-head experience, JPII’s Theology of the Body addresses were still pretty much circulating via photocopy.

I swear, I’m really not that old, but it sure sounds like it, huh?

Really, though, wonderful news. God is good!

Margaret

 

[whatevergirl]

Excellent!!!:bounce:

Isn’t God amazing?

I had a similar experience once, long ago, except for me it was still on a theoretical level. I was a freshman in college, and had already decided that what the Church taught about sex (and all I understood were the “rules of behavior,” not the logic and love behind them!) was complete rubbish.

God, in His wonderful mercy, kindly whacked me over the head with what a friend of mine calls “The Holy 2-by-4.” Sounds like you experienced something similar.

My biggest panic after the fact was that I suddenly knew, on a gut level, that everything I’d thought before was wrong, but was at a loss to explain it to anybody else. I had a lot of catchup reading and study to do… You’re very lucky to have access to all these great resources online to help you learn more, plus all the great books that have been written. When I had my little whack-on-the-head experience, JPII’s Theology of the Body addresses were still pretty much circulating via photocopy.

I swear, I’m really not that old, but it sure sounds like it, huh?

Really, though, wonderful news. God is good!

Margaret

He is utterly utterly AMAZING! I would never have thought about this method again, but in reading the Church’s teachings, and if one believes that our Church is enlightened by the Holy Spirit to guide us in our morals…which we do…then, one has to follow this…or should, anyways. What shocks me is my husband’s ability to laugh about the possiblity of having another baby…if that would be God’s will for our lives. He is a little anxious that we become overly careful, checking temps, and so forth–how will this impact the spontaneity between us, he wonders? I noticed it a bit last night, when I came over to give him a hug and kiss…and he was a bit standoffish. We both agreed that we would abstain…and stay the course, until we take the NFP classes, or until I meet with a NFP specialist…which is smart. So…please keep us in your prayers.

Yes…God carries around a 2 by 4 …I’m convinced! It really surprises me, though…although, this wouldn’t be my will, neccessarily…it is important that we align ourselves with His will…until the two become one. As though you have no will of your own, I think is the key.

Have a blessed Christmas…and thank you for your wonderful (name removed by moderator)ut!

 

[TIME]

He is utterly utterly AMAZING! I would never have thought about this method again, but in reading the Church’s teachings, and if one believes that our Church is enlightened by the Holy Spirit to guide us in our morals…which we do…then, one has to follow this…or should, anyways. What shocks me is my husband’s ability to laugh about the possibility of having another baby…if that would be God’s will for our lives. He is a little anxious that we become overly careful, checking temps, and so forth–how will this impact the spontaneity between us, he wonders? I noticed it a bit last night, when I came over to give him a hug and kiss…and he was a bit standoffish. We both agreed that we would abstain…and stay the course, until we take the NFP classes, or until I meet with a NFP specialist…which is smart. So…please keep us in your prayers.

Yes…God carries around a 2 by 4 …I’m convinced! It really surprises me, though…although, this wouldn’t be my will, neccessarily…it is important that we align ourselves with His will…until the two become one. As though you have no will of your own, I think is the key.

Have a blessed Christmas…and thank you for your wonderful (name removed by moderator)ut!

Hopefully the laughter will all ways be their. You guys are such a great testament to Faith. Did the children have any adolescent words of wisdom this morning before school?

 

[Consecrated]

He is a little anxious that we become overly careful, checking temps, and so forth–how will this impact the spontaneity between us, he wonders? I noticed it a bit last night, when I came over to give him a hug and kiss…and he was a bit standoffish.

First I just want to say: BLESSINGS!!! I’m truly rejoicing with you, and I don’t even know you! God is good.

Second, I want to encourage you a bit, with the above. I think that with something this big, it probably will just take time for you both to used to the idea of this change in your marriage. If you’re both intent on GIVING to each other, as it sounds like you are, then the rest will fall into place in God’s time with prayer.

And thirdly, I just want to say that this experience had GOT to be a real eye opener for your son… he’s at such an impressionable age (15-16, right?), and he’s seeing this transformation of your marriage… just imagine how God will use this to form him as a true man of God.

 

[whatevergirl]

Hopefully the laughter will all ways be their. You guys are such a great testament to Faith. Did the children have any adolescent words of wisdom this morning before school?

LOL–Hi Time.

Yes, my daughter said that she does not ‘understand’ why we would EVEN THINK of having another baby …she told me…aren’t (her brother’s name) and me enough? Aw. I said, this subject really is kind of silly right now…we are not having a baby. If God wants that for mommy and daddy, then you should love your new brother or sister. She apologized. She is upset by my revelation, oddly enough. I didn’t mean for them to overhear our discussion, but since they did …I felt the need to explain a few things about the Church’s teachings on marital sexuality. My son just sat still on the couch last night, intently listening…stunned that someday, he will have to follow ‘rules’ with his wife. I don’t know…was it wrong for us to go into some detail on this? I would rather him know what it means to be a Catholic husband NOW, than we say nothing…and assume he’ll figure it out someday, like we did.

We are not planning to have a baby…but our son and daughter were both conceived using the NFP method, but truthfully, I think we really weren’t trying all that hard. Being younger back then, we weren’t concerned with when we were going to have a baby, like we are now, being 12 years older.

 

[whatevergirl]

First I just want to say: BLESSINGS!!! I’m truly rejoicing with you, and I don’t even know you! God is good.

Second, I want to encourage you a bit, with the above. I think that with something this big, it probably will just take time for you both to used to the idea of this change in your marriage. If you’re both intent on GIVING to each other, as it sounds like you are, then the rest will fall into place in God’s time with prayer.

And thirdly, I just want to say that this experience had GOT to be a real eye opener for your son… he’s at such an impressionable age (15-16, right?), and he’s seeing this transformation of your marriage… just imagine how God will use this to form him as a true man of God.

I thought that myself–thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut! He said…‘why does God make things hard for us?’ I said…actually, He doesn’t…we make it harder. We follow society’s rules on sex…do you think it’s right to have sex outside of marriage? He said no. I said do you think it’s right to abort a baby? He said no. I said do you think it’s right to use birth control? He thought about that one for a moment…he said, well, it would make it easier. Ah-ha! And a light bulb went off for him…I said, God’s laws are not to make things easier for us, but to make us holier. I said, you might not be concerned with being holy…you are young, and you hear a lot of mixed messages in the world…but I hope someday, you do not stray from the Church, because the world does not want you to be holy. He got it, but thinks his father (more so than me because he is nearing 50, and I’m nearing 40) is TOO OLD to have another baby! Ugh…I don’t know what God has planned…but whatever it is, it will be good for us.

 

[TIME]

He got it, but thinks his father (more so than me because he is nearing 50, and I’m nearing 40) is TOO OLD to have another baby! Ugh…I don’t know what God has planned…but whatever it is, it will be good for us.

Now WG, being 39 and 49 is not yet 40 and 50, you do have a ways to go to get their. You’re not ready for the retirement rocking chair, you’re ready for the baby rocking chair, again.

Although, given most men let their hair color go naturally gray, your husband will probably be accused of being a grandfather on more than one occasion, Yikes and double Yikes . You probably should not mention that.

 

[whatevergirl]

I will fail to mention that.

Ironically, I’m told I look around 32…but my husband looks…eh, maybe 43. But, he has let a lot of grays come in naturally…that would be funny, though!