I had a Vasectomy in 1998, what should I do now?

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RayLuna

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I had a vasectomy operation made in 1998. I was aware that I was going to be in mortal sin and found the right resons to do it. We have three daughters born by C-section. My wife had diabetes and took three insulin shots daily for 9 months, I could not risk her life once more and decided for the vasectomy since she did not want to cut her tubes. I confessed my sin and the priest said that it was done and gave me the absolution. I take comunion every Sunday but still feel that I am in mortal sin. What should I do now?
 
You have been absolved so you are no longer in mortal sin. Apparently, the penance you were given didn’t eliminate your guilty feelings, but truly you are absolved and so are perfectly free (barring any other mortal sins) to receive the Eucharist.

If you’d like to, if you feel it would help you, you could get involved with one of the pro-life causes in your parish or community to help you make restitution to the people of God. Have you looked into the Knights of Columbus? They do a lot of great volunteer works for the Church and wider community.

In any case, be assured you are forgiven. Just “go and sin no more.” 😉
 
I too justified a vasectomy, and later regretted it for many reasons. For me, I truly felt repentance. Maybe you didn’t at the time and are now. If that is the case, I would talk to a priest and ask for his advice. Also, as someone has suggested, find a pro-life ministry to participate in. I join the pro-life group from my parish on the second Saturday each month to pray the Rosary in front of a local Planned Parenthood. It has been helpful for me to give something back.
 
It is not a requirement to get the operation reversed, if that is a part of your concern. You have repented of your action and gone to confession. This is the right path. :yup:

I’m sorry you still feel guilty. Do you know why you do? Is it that you wish more children and find you can’t, for example? In that case you could consider a reversal if your doctor says it is feasible for you. Or maybe you find yourself wondering if you were really sorry or not, when you confessed? This is a harder question. Or perhaps is it that your wife is unhappy with you about the operation. This is an even harder question. Please share if you know why you continue to feel guilty, in case one of us has an idea for you.

Della has a good idea, to try to get involved with a pro-life group. God doesn’t want us to be burdened down by excessive guilt over our forgiven sins. We should get up, dust ourselves off, and return to walking with Jesus. It is joyful to walk with him. I know, we get all tied up in things :hmmm:, but God does wish us to rejoice.
 
You have been forgiven for this mutilation of your body by God Himself. You know in your heart that you are sorry and so does God. Go in peace. If there is some way that gives you peace of mind to get it reversed then do so.

You could also look into natural planning, you know the plan to find your wifes ovulation times and the like, ask your priest about it because even when your snipped there is a small chance she could still get pregnant.
 
Have you talked with a doctor about the possibility for reversal?
 
You have asked for forgiveness and have been given it, I had my tubes tied 2 and a half years ago and it was for life and death reasons but I still felt gulity, the human part of me who wanted to live did not but…the Catholic in me felt very guilty and ashamed, I too went to confession and was givien forgiveness.
If you still don’t feel it maybe there are ways as have been mentioned above that God can work his good through you and you can feel good too.
I like to volunteer at our Churches homeless shelter, I am very involved in the pro life group and have been on the committee at our parish for several years, find a way to use your time, talents and treasures and if you still keep feeling guilty, talk to your priest.
Peace 🙂
 
I thank you for all your replies, is awsome to know how much help is out there and to know that we are not alone as catholics.
I relized about the magnitude of my sin after confession since I been a lot more serious in my faith for the last two years or so. I was born catholic and been practicing all my life but lately I feel Jesus more closely. My wife and I are very active in the church, teaching CCE, and instructing young couples before marriage. So, we do teach these couples about contraceptive methods and have relized what we have done. We checked in a clinic about reversals and it would cost me around $10K, I don’t think that I could spend that money with kids in college. So that makes me feel even worst.
I believe that I have been forgiven, I know that God has cleaned my sin, but I still have the need to make up for it some how. I will follow your advice and will help this young couples to avoid the mistake that I did.
I appreciate your comments and wish you the peace of Jesus in your hearts.
 
One more thought. When I confessed my vasectomy, the penence I received was to give my testimony when ever I had the chance to help other men make the right choice and not do what I did. You may consider being open enough to share this experience to other men as it may keep someone from making the same choice you did.
 
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RayLuna:
I had a vasectomy operation made in 1998. I was aware that I was going to be in mortal sin and found the right resons to do it. We have three daughters born by C-section. My wife had diabetes and took three insulin shots daily for 9 months, I could not risk her life once more and decided for the vasectomy since she did not want to cut her tubes. I confessed my sin and the priest said that it was done and gave me the absolution. I take comunion every Sunday but still feel that I am in mortal sin. What should I do now?
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You are absolved. Be at peace.

If you really feel called to do more, you can look into vasectomy reversal, and/or you and your wife can learn NFP and abstain when she has signs of fertility if you still have serious reasons to avoid pregnancy.

Visit www.omsoul.com for some very encouraging information written by and for couples that are in your same situation.
 
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RichT:
One more thought. When I confessed my vasectomy, the penence I received was to give my testimony when ever I had the chance to help other men make the right choice and not do what I did. You may consider being open enough to share this experience to other men as it may keep someone from making the same choice you did.
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That’s very surprising. I’m sure the priest had good intentions, but by assigning you that penance, didn’t he force you to reveal the content of your confession to others?

Priests aren’t supposed to do that, it’s just as if he used your story for the same good end. Good end, wrong means.

For the OP: there are some Catholic doctors who do free vasectomy reversals. I wouldn’t know how to tell you to find one, just that it exists!

Of course you are not obligated to undergo this.
 
I have heard of some couples finding solace in practicing NFP in spite of the sterilization procedure. They feel they are gaining the spiritual discipline and benefits of the practice.

cheddar
 
Pray, pray, pray for an answer. How about reversal??? God’s timing is no less than perfect! How about now? Then practicing NFP would help you grow in dicipline and grace as you walk with the Lord!

Blessings,
Joanie
 
Thomas More:
That’s very surprising. I’m sure the priest had good intentions, but by assigning you that penance, didn’t he force you to reveal the content of your confession to others?

Priests aren’t supposed to do that, it’s just as if he used your story for the same good end. Good end, wrong means.
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I’ve never thought of it that way. Maybe because of the reasons I regretted it, it hasn’t been a problem to me at all sharing my story with other men considering the same option. He was a very young and new priest and may have done this without thinking, but as I said, I am glad he did that. I have shared my testimony with many, and if it has helped anyone not do this, then that is okay by me.
 
someone said to have a reversal? Most insurance companies do not cover this for men or women and thr cost is very high indeed, I think you would see many more people doing it if they could find a doctor who could and would do it, without having to drive or fly many, many hours and then pay a huge amount, for some of us, that is simply not an option.
So then, you need to trust that you do have forgiveness 👍
 
I believe that I have been forgiven, I know that God has cleaned my sin, but I still have the need to make up for it some how. I
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My wife and I are very active in the church, teaching CCE, and instructing young couples before marriage. So, we do teach these couples about contraceptive methods and have relized what we have done.
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It seems as if you are already making reperations for your sin. If you haven’t already, why not become an expert on the Church’s teaching on human sexuality. Here’s some sites that might help:

theologyofthebody.com/
pureloveclub.com/

And also these Church documents:
vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html
vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

Be at peace. Just follow God’s will from now on and don’t look back on past sins.
 
I know our parish is often short on teachers for all grades and needs volunteers, maybe you could do that also, helping our youth is a huge plus and great responsibility and you can learn from them and they from you.

When I say teachers, I mean, for Religious education 🙂
 
Have you participated in the feast of Divine Mercy? (It’s the Sunday after Easter.) Those who paticipate in it and meet necessary requirements are absovled from sin and the purgatory time is cleared off too.

…you might find some comfort there.
 
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kamz:
someone said to have a reversal? Most insurance companies do not cover this for men or women and thr cost is very high indeed, I think you would see many more people doing it if they could find a doctor who could and would do it, without having to drive or fly many, many hours and then pay a huge amount, for some of us, that is simply not an option.
So then, you need to trust that you do have forgiveness 👍
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I mentioned a reversal, but in the context of Catholic doctors who do it for free. There is no harm in researching to see if there are any such doctors in your area!

I also mentioned that, of course, no one who has had a vasectomy is obligated to get a reversal.
 
I actually looked online at one time to see if there was a doctor who would do it for free and did not come up with any, even if the doctor will, you still have to have surgery and that is expensive and if the doctor is far away, the travel expenses.
I know that if my ins. would totally cover a tubal reversal and it would be no cost to me or very small cost, I would have my tubal reversed, so, I have looked, it is very spendy and we simply don’t have that kind of money, but, I know I am forgiven and I have also told the Lord that if he would ever make it his will for a reversal then he will show us how we can afford it and it will be his will and I will do as he asks.
I wish that ins. would cover it but that is very rare and our ins is a joke 😦
 
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