I had an abortion!

[mayogirl25]

I understand your guilt. When I confessed the things I had done, I didn’t think my penance was harsh enough. I didn’t see that 40+ years if self-imposed penance had already been done. Having been raised Protestant, coming to realize what actually happened in Reconciliation took a while - like almost 9 years of being Catholic! What I have come to learn is this:

1. Penances are usually “easy” because grace is easy. It’s always available and always freely given. Always. All we have to do is ask, through Reconciliation.
2. By continuing to feel guilt, I was putting myself ahead of God. I was saying I knew more, my sins were “worse”, etc. That was a sin against the 1st Commandment. I had other gods before Him, namely me. Not on a mortal sin level, but when it came to really owning that forgiveness, it was more of a case of “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.”
3. I needed to take a stand agains the Enemy, because the last thing he wants if for me to live guilt free and in freedom. He wants me to continue to beat myself up.
4. When I beat myself up and don’t walk in the forgiveness I have been given, in the absolution I sacramentally received, I am self-assigning penance. As a Catholic, and as I was asked by a priest, who am I to make that decision for myself? In other words, when I was a protestant, there was no one to assign me penance. As a Catholic, that is the job of the priest, sitting in persona christe capitas (in the person of Christ the Head). If we are really confessing to Jesus, then Jesus is the one absolving us, and he is the one assigning our penance. Do we really know so much that we can tell Jesus we can do his job better?

Walk in freedom, my dear child. Do get help to deal with the trauma you have experienced, and yes, you have experienced trauma. Be free of the guilt. Your sins have been sacramentally absolved. Peace and joy are yours. Don’t let the enemy take them from you. You have suffered enough. You deserve it, and you are worthy of it. Why? Because through Reconciliation, God has MADE you worthy.

May you be free from your burden and my God bless you with joy, peace and freedom.
Kris

Kris, Thank you so for putting it into a perspective that is so clear for me. Your 4 points are all so totally in line with what I am feeling. I can’t help but feel it takes someone from your background (former Protestant) to really get to the heart and soul of my feeling. You see things in a special way. Thank you so much. Your words are a great help to me.

 

[spes_salvi]

[BIBLEDRB]Luke 7:36-50[/BIBLEDRB]

Sometimes, the enormity of our sins makes us doubt if we have really been forgiven. Yet faith tells us that we are forgiven in confession. Rather than make us doubt this, the gravity of our sins should instead direct us to appreciate the greatness of God’s love and mercy in forgiving our sins. Yes, it is good to do penance. But do penance not because you don’t think you are forgiven. Do penance out of love and gratitude for God who has already forgiven you. Imitate the sinful woman in tne Gospel who washed the feet of Christ with her tears. She has shown great love because her sins have been forgiven.