I hate being Catholic

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Epistemes
It seems my subject line is spot on, then, 'cause I’m fairly certain that I’ve never been a Christian so much as wanting to belong to the party of Christ.
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What would make you want to belong to the party of Christ, and not to Christ Himself?

Faith is a gift from God. It is the revelation of Himself to us, through Jesus Christ, however that may happen.

Religion, is our response to that faith.

Try to to it in reverse, accept religion before Christ, and religion ends up being a yoke to heavy to carry.

But Jesus says,
Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, 16 and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves.
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For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." Matthew 11:28-30
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So, go to the source of faith, Jesus Christ.

Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
So, go to the source of faith, Jesus Christ.
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You know, I so badly want to say, ‘I’m tired of Jesus,’ but the truth is that I have no idea who he even is despite all the time spent in prayer, all the books I read, all the homilies I hear, all the time spent with the Blessed Sacrament. And so, I’m not tired of Jesus – but I am tired of praying to Jesus, reading about Jesus, and hearing homilies about Jesus with hardly any results in my life. And this is really only a sample of why I hate being Catholic and/or Christian.

And I’m also tired of being tired about these things too. The only joy I get out of being Catholic is that I’m a part of a community that appreciates me and allows me to feel productive. And so, again, I don’t think I’ve ever truly been Christian, nor will I ever be, but will only belong to the party of Christ.
 
I think your instinct is spot on, that you need to look for Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church is the institution, the religion, the community, the party he founded within which this search is to be conducted, but “the Church” can sometimes stand in the way of someone who is having difficulty negotiating. Example: the internet is the information superhighway, but do a google search on a given topic, and you will so overwhelmed it may be difficult or impossible to find your answer among the wealth of sources.

Listen for the words of Christ, look for the signs of his presence, especially in the Eucharist, but also in “the party”, his community, and most of all in the poor. The solution is service, to the Church, to the community, to the poor because Jesus assures us we will find him, see him, hear him in feeding the hungry and so forth (Matthew 25).
 
Epistemes;
You know, I so badly want to say, ‘I’m tired of Jesus,’ but the truth is that I have no idea who he even is despite all the time spent in prayer, all the books I read, all the homilies I hear, all the time spent with the Blessed Sacrament. And so, I’m not tired of Jesus – but I am tired of praying to Jesus, reading about Jesus, and hearing homilies about Jesus with hardly any results in my life. And this is really only a sample of why I hate being Catholic and/or Christian.
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So, stop and just “rest” in Jesus.

It may be you are ready to learn “contemplative prayer.”

PM me if interested.

God Bless
Jim
 
Contemplative prayer is good advice. Also, walking in His footsteps–doing corporal and spiritual works of mercy–and seeing His face in the “least” among us is helpful too.
 
JimR-OCDS said:
It may be you are ready to learn “contemplative prayer.”
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I’ve tried. Several times. And I always get so sleepy.

I’ve tried lectio divina several times, but, again, all I want to do is just take a nap.

Thanks, though.
 
Epistemes said:
I’ve tried. Several times. And I always get so sleepy.

I’ve tried lectio divina several times, but, again, all I want to do is just take a nap.

Thanks, though.
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Then perhaps you’re not getting enough sleep, and the consequences are felt through your spiritual life as well
as your physical.

BTW, physical well being can effect your prayer life. Its good to balance physical fitness with spiritual fitness.

Anyway, just something to think about.

God Bless

Jim
 
Epistemes said:
I’ve tried. Several times. And I always get so sleepy.
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That is because contemplative prayer has to have the relationship with God as its foundation.

It sounds that you know and hear about Jesus, but never have had a true encounter with Jesus. You need to know him, not know about him.

God speaks to us through his words. Read the Scripture. Also, like others suggested, practice the love of the least of your brothers, reach out and experience the love of God by experiencing the love of neighbors, both giving and receiving.
And pray to God for the grace of faith.
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Then perhaps you’re not getting enough sleep, and the consequences are felt through your spiritual life as well
as your physical.

BTW, physical well being can effect your prayer life. Its good to balance physical fitness with spiritual fitness.

Anyway, just something to think about.
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I don’t want to come across as crass or rude, but this is really the kind of stuff that I despise about trying to have a relationship with Jesus: it’s not just about prayer, or reading the Scriptures, or partaking of the Blessed Sacrament, but also about exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet based on the traditional food pyramid, as well. It’s such a fickle relationship and I don’t have a whole lot of time for fickleness at this stage in my life right now.
 
I’ve no advice, but I’ll pray for you.

I do think there is a grace in believing even when there is no consolations. Mother Teresa had that.

Asking Jesus to send you a consolation this week anyway just to give you strength to persevere.
 
Epistemes said:
I don’t want to come across as crass or rude, but this is really the kind of stuff that I despise about trying to have a relationship with Jesus: it’s not just about prayer, or reading the Scriptures, or partaking of the Blessed Sacrament, but also about exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet based on the traditional food pyramid, as well. It’s such a fickle relationship and I don’t have a whole lot of time for fickleness at this stage in my life right now.
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Hm. Have you told Jesus how you feel? I mean, conversationally, not formally, like Brother Andrew? I think Jesus would understand.
 
I definitely hear you, Epistemes. I see so many people who have their lives fulfilled by Catholicism. For me, Catholicism has brought me nothing but frustration, confusion, anger, guilt, and fear.

Much like you, the only good I can think of that I’ve had with Catholicism is a few great Catholics I have met.

Hopefully, one day it will all make sense.
 
Faith,…believing in things you cannot see or feel…
Personally,as I previously posted, I love being Catholic.There are alot of stuffy ol’ fuddy-duddies, tho…and they can be a bummer.
We all have assorted experiences in our walk with Christ.The stuff that annoys me causes me to take inventory of myself.Just in case I’m wrong or being selfish.
I think the guilt and anger issues are merely tools of the evil one to use against us to try and quench our faith.And I mean ‘faith’ as in evidence of things unseen.Not as in Catholic faith.As a verb, not a noun.🤷
 
Sinner1 said:
I definitely hear you, Epistemes. I see so many people who have their lives fulfilled by Catholicism. For me, Catholicism has brought me nothing but frustration, confusion, anger, guilt, and fear.

Much like you, the only good I can think of that I’ve had with Catholicism is a few great Catholics I have met.

Hopefully, one day it will all make sense.
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that’s so sad…

And, yet, feeling like that and still being faithful, that’s very heroic. Actually more heroic than someone who has few difficulties. Probably doesn’t comfort you though.😦
 
Don’t look at it in terms of ‘being Catholic’, so much as being a disciple of Christ, in the Catholic tradition. Try to imitate Christ in daily life, and reflect on the aspect of self-sacrifice involved in doing so. Christ worked hard for His Father, knowing He’d be tortured and killed for it. Yet He pushed on, accomplishing His mission, teaching, preaching and healing with energy and devotion. Never did he slacken off, in despair, realizing it would culminate in untold suffering and death.
 
Epistemes said:
I don’t want to come across as crass or rude, but this is really the kind of stuff that I despise about trying to have a relationship with Jesus: it’s not just about prayer, or reading the Scriptures, or partaking of the Blessed Sacrament, but also about exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet based on the traditional food pyramid, as well. It’s such a fickle relationship and I don’t have a whole lot of time for fickleness at this stage in my life right now.
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Well, you came in expressing frustration, and asking for help.

Myself and others have tried to help.

At this point, all I have left is to say is that I’ll pray for you.

God Bless
Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Well, you came in expressing frustration, and asking for help.

Myself and others have tried to help.

At this point, all I have left is to say is that I’ll pray for you.
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…and I thank you and everyone who has expressed even an ounce of concern.

I’m at a very conflicted, stressful time in my life right now – a time when I need Jesus the most – and not only do I *feel *like I don’t have Jesus but I *feel *like I don’t even have the capacity to do more than I’m already doing. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing too much, other times I wonder if I’m doing enough to increase my prayer and devotional life. Sometimes I feel like I dedicate so much of my time meditating on Jesus and the spiritual life that I *sometimes * feel guilty for wanting to kick back and watch a couple hours of mindless Seinfeld reruns.

I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m tired, I’m frightened, I’m weak, I’m confused, I’m always in sin, I’m unhappy, I’m not at peace, I’m angry, I’m scared, and I need Jesus more than I need my next breath of air.
 
I think at times, even as one in the process of conversion…

My flesh will tend to get the best of me and I have to pray for strength, but in all honesty… I could never be anything but a Catholic Christian… In my heart I am Catholic, and that’s that.

Christ bore His cross without complaining, why should we not try to do the same? Not saying that you were complaining and I agree that it is all we have, but many lose focus on the Truth.
 
Epistemes said:
What I do know is that I’m tired, I’m frightened, I’m weak, I’m confused, I’m always in sin, I’m unhappy, I’m not at peace, I’m angry, I’m scared, and I need Jesus more than I need my next breath of air.
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I remember reading recently a story about a monk asking his superior how to find God. The superior instructed him to kneel next to a pond. He then dunked the monk’s head underwater and held it there a while, then let him up and said, “When you want God the way you wanted your next breath of air just now, you will find Him.”

I think you’re getting close, Epistemes.

You talked a lot about feelings in your post - often in our spiritual lives the feeling is quite different from the reality. It is when we persevere despite the lack of emotional rewards that we grow much closer to God.

Blogger Mark Mallett recently commented on this:
The soul then, no longer walking by sight but faith, perceives the hope which awaits him. If you do not experience this joy now, it is because the Lord is training you to love the Giver, and not the gifts. He is emptying your soul, so that it may be filled with nothing less than Himself.
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Source: The Secret Joy, Mark Mallett
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