I hate myself

  • Thread starter Thread starter lovedance4ever
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

lovedance4ever

Guest
Hi everyone. I suppose I’m just venting in this post, and I will get over it eventually, but I handle so much stress and it has built up to the point where I hate myself and cannot take it anymore.

For years, I have dealt with “friend” problems. Some stole from me, one girl tried to drown me in my pool. I’m eighteen years old now, and to this day, some of the “bullies” on my street have gotten out of hand. They put a bullet hole in my family’s garage and keyed my car.

Now I’m in college. I thought I made friends, but they have turned on me because of my conservative political views and religious beliefs. I do not rub it in their faces, but if they talk inappropriately, I speak up. They treat me like I am stupid, because I am a virgin, and act that I could not possibly have any accurate views about sex, because I do not have any “experience.” You don’t have to take poison to know it will kill you.

Well now with the issue of gay marriage, I am against it, but usually keep it to myself. However, I KNOW my one friend is posting stuff on facebook to get to me, because all of her other friends are liberal. But finally, she posted this horrible image that said something along the lines of “Jesus had to fathers and he turned out okay.” This hurt me beyond belief and I wrote on it, saying how offensive that is and whoever came up with that statement clearly had no knoweledge of Church teaching.

Then I posted a status (I will not get into detail), stating my beliefs and one of my other friends had the nerve to write that I was stupid to say that.

These are minor issues, I know, but they are building up.

Finally, I was driving with my dad this evening and he was clearly in a mood. He was complaining about everything, and I remained silent, figuring it simply was not worth it to argue too much. Then I played a song that I had just downloaded onto my Ipod. It was not inappropriate, it just had an interesting beat, and I suppose some of it sounded a bit Indian. Well, he said “Do you play this music for your friends? Because if you do, I can see why you don’t have any.”

It was not a joke. I was so hurt. He said it with such a mean look on his face. I am not posting everything either. I have been through hell and back with my so-called friends over the past several years, and then to have my father say such a horrible thing topped it all off.

I hate myself. I hate that I do not have any friends. I hate that I don’t have a boyfriend (I know, it really does not have much to do with what I wrote, but it is what it is). I do not feel pretty, and all I want to do is stay at home all the time now, because it just is not worth it to socialize with people. All I basically do now is go to the gym, and come home. No one wants to do anything with me anyway. Must be the music I listen to.

Prayers are very much appreciated. And advice, if you can think of any.
 
Dear, you sound like a lovely person. It is hard to take all this guff from people, especially those who should be in your corner. Do you have someone you can trust to talk to? A priest, sister, mom? Do not hate yourself. Are you feeling like giving up? Are you depressed?
 
Hello!
I am super new here, but when I read your post I felt I HAD to respond. I used to feel just like you, I hated myself, all my "friendships " ended horribly, I even had/ have a Dad that is not exactly… sensitive.

I will tell you what it took years to learn. #1 depression LIES. It will make you feel so low and that it will never end, but IT WILL! #2 join a Catholic yputh group. If you are a college student it should not be hard to find one. Surrounding yourself with like minded people will help more than ypu know. #3 this will pass. Pray about it, beforyou know it you will be out school and making your own life. And get RID of those “friends” that call you stupid!
 
Do not hats yourself. GOD appreciates you trying and keeping your faith against your odds. Pray and never give up on God. Peace be with you. I will keep you in my prayers. :gopray2:
 
That was a really hurtful thing for your father to say and he ought to be ashamed of himself. I can assure you that your choice of music is not effecting your ability to have friends. Right now, it seems like the peers in your life are no good for you, but I can understand your feeling lonely nonetheless. Don’t worry. God will direct good people into your life soon!
 
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate so to speak…

Sorry I don’t really have any advice…

Praying that God will hold you close to Himself tonight.

Peace
James
 
Gods opinion of you is much more important then anyone elses. Your father loves you very much, he was probably just having a bad day. And trust me on this one : when your freinds fall on hard times they will seek out the most religious person they know for advice. You be there for them then and they will always remember it. God is with you.
 
your right you have been through hell and back and i have had scuffles with people who i thought were my friends lets just say we are friendly around each other. A word of advice from me these people are dragging you down they arent your friends my advice to you is if you have other friends that dont say mean things to you and respect and love you for who you are then they are your real friends. just remember it always gets better with God and by the way you seem like a good person and i totally admire your views i am not in college actualy i’m in Eight grade and i myself am a Roman catholic and i am totally open about it and i myself am a conservative Republican and a entirely open about it i will argue till the last breath to prove my point much like you and our type needs a break i’ve got mine you need to find yours. My thoughts and Prayers out to you God Bless.
 
what your Dad said was very inappropriate and abusive. If you have Facebook friends posting things in order to bother you, you need to de-friend them and move on. They are not friends. you need to try to find like minded friends and drop the ones that don’t share your values and beliefs. Remember your very best friend is Jesus. Try to spend time in adoration and be with Him. When I was reading the “Story of a Soul” by St. Theresa of Liseaux, she did write about struggling to have friends. When she decided to make Jesus her best friend and that set her free. I am sorry about your father but know that you have a heavenly Father who would never treat you that way. He loves and cares for you!
 
lovedance4ever said:
Hi everyone. I suppose I’m just venting in this post, and I will get over it eventually, but I handle so much stress and it has built up to the point where I hate myself and cannot take it anymore.

For years, I have dealt with “friend” problems. Some stole from me, one girl tried to drown me in my pool. I’m eighteen years old now, and to this day, some of the “bullies” on my street have gotten out of hand. They put a bullet hole in my family’s garage and keyed my car.

Now I’m in college. I thought I made friends, but they have turned on me because of my conservative political views and religious beliefs. I do not rub it in their faces, but if they talk inappropriately, I speak up. They treat me like I am stupid, because I am a virgin, and act that I could not possibly have any accurate views about sex, because I do not have any “experience.” You don’t have to take poison to know it will kill you.

Well now with the issue of gay marriage, I am against it, but usually keep it to myself. However, I KNOW my one friend is posting stuff on facebook to get to me, because all of her other friends are liberal. But finally, she posted this horrible image that said something along the lines of “Jesus had to fathers and he turned out okay.” This hurt me beyond belief and I wrote on it, saying how offensive that is and whoever came up with that statement clearly had no knoweledge of Church teaching.

Then I posted a status (I will not get into detail), stating my beliefs and one of my other friends had the nerve to write that I was stupid to say that.

These are minor issues, I know, but they are building up.

Finally, I was driving with my dad this evening and he was clearly in a mood. He was complaining about everything, and I remained silent, figuring it simply was not worth it to argue too much. Then I played a song that I had just downloaded onto my Ipod. It was not inappropriate, it just had an interesting beat, and I suppose some of it sounded a bit Indian. Well, he said “Do you play this music for your friends? Because if you do, I can see why you don’t have any.”

It was not a joke. I was so hurt. He said it with such a mean look on his face. I am not posting everything either. I have been through hell and back with my so-called friends over the past several years, and then to have my father say such a horrible thing topped it all off.

I hate myself. I hate that I do not have any friends. I hate that I don’t have a boyfriend (I know, it really does not have much to do with what I wrote, but it is what it is). I do not feel pretty, and all I want to do is stay at home all the time now, because it just is not worth it to socialize with people. All I basically do now is go to the gym, and come home. No one wants to do anything with me anyway. Must be the music I listen to.

Prayers are very much appreciated. And advice, if you can think of any.
Click to expand...
I’d love to be your friend if I could, and I’m sure others would feel the same.

God bless you, please perservere 🙂

Pray the rosary, or whatever you may do to get yourself ‘out of yourself’ and take comfort in our Lord.

Remember, love those even who do not love you, the situation you are in is a great opportunity to push yourself into greater spiritual awareness and understanding 🙂

I know it’s not easy, but please don’t give up…and no doubt things will get a lot easier. Why don’t you try starting a thread ‘I love myself’ and think of at least three reasons why. And never say you hate yourself again. Even if your reasons for loving all having something to do with God, there can be no better reason anyway 😉
 
This would be a good time for you to get up, get out of your room and head down to the church… Sit in adoration in front of our Lord for a good half hour or so while meditating on the details of the following three questions. If you can’t get to a church, just go for a walk and think about the following:
  1. How will hating myself assist me in my desire to meet new friends (including meeting a boyfriend)
  2. How might hating myself actually drive away any new friends that come into my life? If God brought my future spouse into my life tomorrow and I’m still hating myself, would I be able to accept this gift, or would I purposely drive this new person away?
  3. Would I want to be friends with (or in a relationship with) somebody who hated themself in the exact way that I am hating myself right now?
If you force yourself to meditate on these questions for a little while, you will start to see the absurdity and self-destructive tendencies in the emotions that you are experiencing right now. You are upset because you don’t have any friends, but because you’re angry, you’re going to consciously drive any future friends that come into your life away! therefore, it makes sense, that in order to start making new friends (and meet a boyfriend) you must first cease being angry with yourself! 🙂

God bless, my prayers are with you!
 
Ah Facebook–the devil!

You can hide your friends’ newsfeeds so you don’t have to see things you don’t agree with. As for your dad’s comments, maybe he was just mad and took it out on you. I will send some prayers your way.
 
Okay, I’m going to try to help you out because your college years should be great and filled with studying and solid social interaction. I guess I’ll just state that I’m not Catholic, and I’m kind of liberal (but I do try to be respectful on this site), so if you can get past that, please keep reading. I’m 22, and I just finished up with undergrad, so I’m pretty familiar with the current college atmosphere.

First of all, I hope you told the police about the bullet hole and the damage to your car. You shouldn’t have to live in fear. Those were illegal acts. As for your dad, tell him that you’ve been having trouble and that those comments hurt your feelings. If he apologizes, then chalk his previous comment up to a bad mood and forgive; if he’s still being mean to you, then move on as he might be part of your troubles (and from what I gather low self-esteem).

College campuses, especially in a city setting (are you in a major city or small town school?) tend to be rather liberal. You can’t change that system, and the truth is that conservative views will alienate people. I’m not agreeing with this, but I am being trying to be honest. However, there were a few conservative students at my school, and they always seemed to have friends. One girl who was a known McCain supporter (this was '08) was fairly popular in our dorm, which was largely liberal.

If you can’t find students with your views, then the best thing to do is to try your best to keep them to yourself. I don’t agree with you on things like gay marriage, but I still want to help you. I don’t want you to feel like you hate yourself. When I first moved to college, I was overwhelmed, and I wanted to transfer. Once I found a good circle of friends, I started to love the experience. My advice to you is to really try to get along with others. Don’t argue on Facebook. It’s not worth being an outcast to prove your views on someone’s status. Once again, I’m not trying to be curt. I’m trying to offer advice that I think will make an honest change.

You say that you like to go to the gym, which is great. Exercise is a really good mood booster. I’m going to assume that you’re in pretty good shape. Please don’t call yourself ugly. I’m sure that you’re not. If you can, go out and buy some new clothes and make-up. You will be surprised at how much of a difference this can make in your own attitude and in the way others see you. Smile and laugh–you will draw people in with a friendly countenance.

College students are going to talk about drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. I’m not a big drinker and I don’t like to discuss private matters like sex either, but when this stuff comes up, you can’t get self-righteous about it right away. You have to earn people’s respect and become an established member of the group. Once you’re established, you can start to voice your opinions more and run the show a little bit. Act confident. In my main friend circle, we have had a few new people join the group in the past year. They’ve become good friends of ours, and we all know of each other’s quirks by this point. However, if they would have aired all dissenting views and neuroses on their first few weeks at our school or in our city, then we might not have all wanted to keep inviting them to join us. Work on developing a solid friendship before respectfully sharing your views, if you so wish to do that. If people don’t know you, it will be easier for them to give you a blanket label like “That religious girl.”

Another issue could be that the other girls at your school are genuinely catty/immature. I went to an expensive, private college, and I know how girls can act with one another, especially at these kinds of places. It’s not always pretty. They shouldn’t call you stupid for being a virgin. That makes me question their intellect, but of all the people at your school, there is a good chance that you can find some nice girls. I know that I did, and we were pretty well liked without being mean and petty towards others.

Keep listening to the music you like; believe me people who are worth their salt are not going to ostracize you for musical taste. Don’t think that socialization isn’t worth it. When you click with people, it’s a ton of fun, and it really makes life worthwhile. Keep getting out of the house, and focus on your studies in the meantime.

In order to provide advice about your “so-called” friends, I am afraid that I would need to know the things that they have done. They might just be sour people and not worth your time. Similarly, you might have to face that you have done some things that have reasonably upset them. If so, a sincere apology should be your first step, even if you don’t feel like you did something wrong. It might be worth just to move on and get back in their good graces.

If you want to PM me to discuss particular things more privately, feel free to do so. I want you to be happy. You should know that you deserve to be happy.
 
Okay, I’m going to try to help you out because your college years should be great and filled with studying and solid social interaction. I guess I’ll just state that I’m not Catholic, and I’m kind of liberal (but I do try to be respectful on this site), so if you can get past that, please keep reading. I’m 22, and I just finished up with undergrad, so I’m pretty familiar with the current college atmosphere.

First of all, I hope you told the police about the bullet hole and the damage to your car. You shouldn’t have to live in fear. Those were illegal acts. As for your dad, tell him that you’ve been having trouble and that those comments hurt your feelings. If he apologizes, then chalk his previous comment up to a bad mood and forgive; if he’s still being mean to you, then move on as he might be part of your troubles (and from what I gather low self-esteem).

College campuses, especially in a city setting (are you in a major city or small town school?) tend to be rather liberal. You can’t change that system, and the truth is that conservative views will alienate people. I’m not agreeing with this, but I am being trying to be honest. However, there were a few conservative students at my school, and they always seemed to have friends. One girl who was a known McCain supporter (this was '08) was fairly popular in our dorm, which was largely liberal.

If you can’t find students with your views, then the best thing to do is to try your best to keep them to yourself. I don’t agree with you on things like gay marriage, but I still want to help you. I don’t want you to feel like you hate yourself. When I first moved to college, I was overwhelmed, and I wanted to transfer. Once I found a good circle of friends, I started to love the experience. My advice to you is to really try to get along with others. Don’t argue on Facebook. It’s not worth being an outcast to prove your views on someone’s status. Once again, I’m not trying to be curt. I’m trying to offer advice that I think will make an honest change.

You say that you like to go to the gym, which is great. Exercise is a really good mood booster. I’m going to assume that you’re in pretty good shape. Please don’t call yourself ugly. I’m sure that you’re not. If you can, go out and buy some new clothes and make-up. You will be surprised at how much of a difference this can make in your own attitude and in the way others see you. Smile and laugh–you will draw people in with a friendly countenance.

College students are going to talk about drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. I’m not a big drinker and I don’t like to discuss private matters like sex either, but when this stuff comes up, you can’t get self-righteous about it right away. You have to earn people’s respect and become an established member of the group. Once you’re established, you can start to voice your opinions more and run the show a little bit. Act confident. In my main friend circle, we have had a few new people join the group in the past year. They’ve become good friends of ours, and we all know of each other’s quirks by this point. However, if they would have aired all dissenting views and neuroses on their first few weeks at our school or in our city, then we might not have all wanted to keep inviting them to join us. Work on developing a solid friendship before respectfully sharing your views, if you so wish to do that. If people don’t know you, it will be easier for them to give you a blanket label like “That religious girl.”

Another issue could be that the other girls at your school are genuinely catty/immature. I went to an expensive, private college, and I know how girls can act with one another, especially at these kinds of places. It’s not always pretty. They shouldn’t call you stupid for being a virgin. That makes me question their intellect, but of all the people at your school, there is a good chance that you can find some nice girls. I know that I did, and we were pretty well liked without being mean and petty towards others.

Keep listening to the music you like; believe me people who are worth their salt are not going to ostracize you for musical taste. Don’t think that socialization isn’t worth it. When you click with people, it’s a ton of fun, and it really makes life worthwhile. Keep getting out of the house, and focus on your studies in the meantime.

In order to provide advice about your “so-called” friends, I am afraid that I would need to know the things that they have done. They might just be sour people and not worth your time. Similarly, you might have to face that you have done some things that have reasonably upset them. If so, a sincere apology should be your first step, even if you don’t feel like you did something wrong. It might be worth just to move on and get back in their good graces.

If you want to PM me to discuss particular things more privately, feel free to do so. I want you to be happy. You should know that you deserve to be happy. I wish I could give you a hug.

:hug3:
 
Well, I think the first thing you should do is look for some like-minded friends. Is there a Newman Center on your campus? What about a nearby parish? Get involved in some apostolate (pro-life work, etc.). A great way to do the Lord’s work AND meet awesome people.

Secondly, if you want people to be attracted to you you have to make yourself attractive. If you act like you hate yourself, that will turn people off. Remember that you’re a daughter of God and a temple of the Holy Spirit. Treat yourself as such.

Most importantly, spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. He loves you unconditionally and longs for your presence. Tell Him your troubles. He will listen and help. There are many times where I feel Jesus is the only rational One I can talk to. It’s probably true!

I’ll keep you in my prayers 👍
 
Remember, you are a child of God and He loves you, so much that He died for you.

You can do so much for the world now by offering up your sufferings and helping Christ carry his Cross. Friends come and go, especially when you’re younger and you just haven’t met anyone who you really get along with at the moment. Don’t worry about them thinking you’re stupid- we’re called to be fools for God! - Treat everyone with love and respect and ignore what they think of you. Don’t worry about making friends. Focus on your faith and your course for a while. They will last longer and serve you much better.

I am marrying my first boyfriend. I only met him last year and I’m 27. I don’t regret for a minute taking the course I did, not when I see the heartbreak that my friends who have ‘been around’ have had to go through. Our road is a more difficult one, but it’s the better way. It will build you and make you stronger as a person. Every time you get upset, say a little prayer ‘I offer up my sacrifices to help You carry Your Cross for the atonement of my sins and those of the whole world.’ Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Read good books.

Ask God to make you a Saint. It is the calling of everyone on earth and there is no finer office. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Remember, more people love you than you probably know.
 
You are precious. You are a beautiful creature of God. You are loved.
 
So, your dad made a thoughtless comment about your music. 🤷 Don’t let it bother you. He’s just another person after all. And, as another poster mentioned, he may have been having a bad day himself. I hope he will apologize but if not, oh well. Are you wrong for having the music tastes that you do? No way! I listen to all sorts of music that other people think weird. From bluegrass gospel to electronica to, yes, Indian music, I even like Middle Eastern music (the singing and drums rock!) and old country western. My tastes are so all over the map that I’m bound to offend SOMEONE with just about anything I slap on the CD player… 🤷

But I think you are just feeling insecure and down on yourself right now…It’s not that your dad said what he said, it’s that you’re sensitive and looking for hurts…Depressed? Probably. You have had to give up a big dream and that hurts, and causes one to have to re-evaluate one’s goals for the future. You’re young to lose a big dream, but other things are on the way, dear little sister in Christ! Have you talked to a counselor on campus yet?

NO MATTER WHAT, God loves you from the inside all the way out!

:love:❤️:grouphug:
 
Hey there!
I’m somewhat new here, i’ve just been lurking here for a long time and decided to make an account for a change. I was gonna reply last night, but i just couldn’t think of a coherent way to put this.

For starters, hugs if you want 'em. :hug1: Second of all, i’ve been down that road before, and i’ve spent more time holed up in my room and crying myself to sleep than i care to remember. I never really fit in either. I admit that even nowadays, there are times when I get a little down on myself, wondering why people seem to want to dump on me. If there’s a parish in the neighborhood or close enough to get to in a reasonable amount of time, might i suggest going to a Mass there on a free day and see what happens? Just thinking out loud here.

Thirdly, i hope you’ve been in contact with the police about what those people did to your car, if for no other reason than to get this all on record, and to send them the message that this is illegal. If their garbage continues, then a restraining order should be your next step.

As for the friends who disrespect you, remember that a solid friendship is founded on mutual respect along with commonalities, it’s a 2 way street. If they can’t be bothered to respect you otherwise and are more than willing to alienate you, then it doesn’t sound like these relationships are worth investing any more time in. It was only in recent times that i found some people that seem like friend material, even though i haven’t known them for very long. The right people will come along, and when they do, you’ll be ready for them. I have trouble remembering that myself, so don’t worry. After being an outcast for so long, i kept to myself for a long time, and it’s only been recently that i’m starting to find some new people that i wish i’d met years ago.

I’m 26 and a virgin. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Join the club. I’ve been ridiculed in the past for being a virgin, and it really hurt back then. Now i realize that it had nothing to do with me. Doesn’t make it any less hurtful though. Remember that what they’re doing speaks volumes about them, and that it has nothing to do with you. Consider the source and cut them out of your life. You don’t need people who are just going to drag you down. I’ve been praying for a mate, maybe that might help you? I don’t know. Again, just thinking out loud here, don’t mind me.

I’m sorry to hear your dad made such lame comments about your taste in music. I really hope it was because of whatever he’s dealing with, but either way, maybe it might be worth bringing it up on one of his good days. For what it’s worth, from what i read of your profile, it sounds like you’ve got rather cool taste in music!

I will definitely add you to my prayer list when i go to Mass in about an hour or so. If you want, send me a line and we’ll talk, i’m more than happy to lend an ear. 🙂
 
Friends are not all that important, in fact often they are more trouble than they are worth- same goes for family. I don’t know about your father- maybe his insensitive/rude comment was RARE, if not- I would limit contact. Yes, family can get be our biggest enemies. I am much older than you and have been through much you have gone through.

The minute my friends learned I was anti-abortion, they were judgemental, mean and distant.
Are those friends? Should I censor myself, like a previous poster suggests, to have friends?
That’s BS. I have found it is easier and keeps me saner, just to enjoy my immediate family-
kids/husband. I know you are single, so it is very hard. But sacrificing yourself for friends-makes them…gods! Are lowly human beings who you want to worship? 😛

Get into school, find an interest, volunteer for organizations that represent your views. Don’t waste your life trying to make people like you. YOLO
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top