I have a crippling fear of dying or losing someone I love

[ellam25]

Just in the last couple of years (particularly since coming back to the faith) I have an absolutly crippling fear of people I love dying or me dying. I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but it seems to be consuming my life rn.for those who will say I need to get help, I have and it only seems to be a temporary fix. I knew a girl who fairly recently was in an accident and her two daughters who were 1 and 4 were killed. It seemed to send me into a depression or something cuz now I can’t stop thinking about it and imagining it was my own baby. My husband has to call me the second he goes anywhere evn to the store so that I know he is ok. If my baby is with someone being babysat I have to text constantly to make sure everything is OK. I live on the west coast and right now I’m trying to convince my husband to move farther inland cuz I’m afraid of dying in an earthquake or a volcano. Anytime i go somewhere i look for the nearest exits immediately in case something happens. I have prayed to st dymphna and to our mother for help, but I just can’t seem to get these thoughts out of my head. Any advice/help?

 

[Lou2U]

I’m sorry you’re struggling.

I know you’ve said that you’ve tried to get help and it only seems to work temporarily, but I don’t have any other suggestions or advice other than to try again, or to find a different therapist to work with. It’s not healthy for you to feel this way, and it’s not good for your husband or daughter either. I know you must know this, but I can’t really offer any other advice. It’s easy to get overwhelmed. Maybe learning some relaxation techniques would help, so when you get these feelings you have something to help calm down a little? It might help you to block out your thoughts and redirect your attention away from your anxiety.

Lou

 

[joeybaggz]

Just in the last couple of years (particularly since coming back to the faith) I have an absolutly crippling fear of people I love dying or me dying. I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but it seems to be consuming my life rn.for those who will say I need to get help, I have and it only seems to be a temporary fix. I knew a girl who fairly recently was in an accident and her two daughters who were 1 and 4 were killed. It seemed to send me into a depression or something cuz now I can’t stop thinking about it and imagining it was my own baby. My husband has to call me the second he goes anywhere evn to the store so that I know he is ok. If my baby is with someone being babysat I have to text constantly to make sure everything is OK. I live on the west coast and right now I’m trying to convince my husband to move farther inland cuz I’m afraid of dying in an earthquake or a volcano. Anytime i go somewhere i look for the nearest exits immediately in case something happens. I have prayed to st dymphna and to our mother for help, but I just can’t seem to get these thoughts out of my head. Any advice/help?

From the words and the tone of your post, I question whether soliciting advice on a forum such as this is wise or even helpful. The best advice I can give is to talk to a priest or confessor and if possible, maybe a priest that is a trained psychologist. If not a priest, maybe a lay mental health professional.

That is not to say I think you have a mental health issue. It sounds like the trauma you witnessed/experienced has left a deeper question that you can answer. Talk to your pastor.

To give on example though, about twenty years ago I woke up in the middle of the night with the realization that I was going to die. Not immediately, but the reality of the inevitability of dying became something real; it’s that reality that we all know one day we will die, but there comes a moment when we feel and understand it and it no longer is an abstraction. I was panicked, I actually wished that I could negate my existence as if I were never born. Not knowing what to do, I put the Bible that I own and had blessed by a priest, under my pillow. It might seem in retrospect to be a little silly, but I fell back to sleep in a couple of minutes and have never had that feeling again.

Shalom and I will pray for you and your family.

 

[po18guy]

If you are not treating your anxiety, please seriously consider having it treated. If you are currently in treatment, it is fairly obvious that the treatment is not effective. You have told us of its effects on you. What about your husband? Family? Friends? Anxiety is a crippler, but you are smarter and stronger than the anxiety. Since you are at crisis stage, the choice is yours: control the anxiety or allow it to continue controlling you.

It is not much more complicated than that.

 

[1ke]

Any advice/help?

Talk to a mental health professional as soon as possible.

 

[AdamP88]

You should probably talk to a priest, and a counselor or mental health expert.
There is a normal level of worry for parents/spouses about the people they love I think. But it sounds like you’re beyond that.

 

[exnihilo]

Any advice/help?

I know what anxiety is like including the ones you have. You need prayer and help. I know you said you’ve gotten help before. Keep in mind getting help often doesn’t mean you talk to someone and you are fixed. It may mean lots of work and I know for me continuous work. It isn’t fun or easy. But if you let these things go they can get worse.

I think seeing a therapist is best. Make sure you find one who has experience with your issues. Sometimes a particular therapist may not work well for you. It is perfectly acceptable to try different therapists.

 

[Luvz2travel]

Just in the last couple of years (particularly since coming back to the faith) I have an absolutly crippling fear of people I love dying or me dying. I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but it seems to be consuming my life rn.for those who will say I need to get help, I have and it only seems to be a temporary fix. I knew a girl who fairly recently was in an accident and her two daughters who were 1 and 4 were killed. It seemed to send me into a depression or something cuz now I can’t stop thinking about it and imagining it was my own baby. My husband has to call me the second he goes anywhere evn to the store so that I know he is ok. If my baby is with someone being babysat I have to text constantly to make sure everything is OK. I live on the west coast and right now I’m trying to convince my husband to move farther inland cuz I’m afraid of dying in an earthquake or a volcano. Anytime i go somewhere i look for the nearest exits immediately in case something happens. I have prayed to st dymphna and to our mother for help, but I just can’t seem to get these thoughts out of my head. Any advice/help?

After losing just about all of my family I lost my fear of death a while back. Death is just another part of life. You can’t control when or where you or anyone else will be taken so I always advise people to enjoy their family while they are here and never let bad blood stay between you because you never know when the they will be gone. Worrying over it solves nothing as well. I think I could look on death as being sort of a relief.