I have a dilemma - Do I take this job or not?

[yessisan]

I had gone to an interview about 3 weeks ago, and then 2 wks ago the employer had asked me to work for 4.5 hrs to see if I liked the job and to see if they liked how I worked. So, last week they told me they had to make a decision on who they wanted to hire but they were having a hard time deciding. It was in between 2 other people and me. So, finally they decided it wasn’t me. So, because I am going to school and have to do an externship and work 160 hrs for free at a hospital, so I can finally get my certificate and start work in a hospital, I need to do this. I was thinking of working full time and doing the externship evenings and weekends.

The problems is that I am still going to school 2 nights a wk and have a month left, and the place where I was offered the externship is a hospital everyone wants to get into. It’s very hard to get into this hospital. Since my mom, and 2 aunts work in different locations for this HMO, I was able to get in where one of my aunts work.

So, since I didn’t get the job, I called the hospital and told them I could start work Tuesday and can do it full time so I can finish in 1 month and by the time I’m done with my externship, I’ll be done with school too. Remember, it’s very hard to get into this hospital for an externship and for work, and if you do your externship there, most likely than not, you will get hired to work there.

So, I went Monday to take the picture for my badge, and since my badge wouldn’t be ready until today, I couldn’t start until next week. So, the problem comes in when I get this phone call yesterday and I am left wondering on what I have to do.

The person who I interviewed with called and told me the person they offered the job to had a conflict so she couldn’t take the job. So he was wondering if I still wanted it. I really did, even though they pay half of what I was making in my last job. This job was only for me to get some income while I finished school and finished my externship. So, the problem I have is that I really want the job so I can bring some income and possibly not have my house go into foreclosure but if I take the job, I cannot do my externship at the hospital since the location I was offered the externship only is open M-F 8:30-5:30pm and don’t open evenings or weekends any more (a new location of this same HMO hospital opened up in the same town and is open evenings and weekends). And the job would be M-F same hrs as the externship and no weekends.

I told the veterinarian that I had accepted the externship at the hospital since he had told me I didn’t get the job 1 week ago. I told him that if they could wait for me for a month that I could do it. But then again, if I get a job at the hospital right away, then I wouldn’t even need that other job. But the vet said he’d talk to his office mgr and tell me today if they can wait for me for a month (they really want me to work there).

I thought I had made the right decision, but now I’m having 2nd thoughts. I really need money. Right now my husband isn’t getting called in much for work, and he was the only income coming in to pay our things. I feel guilty for wanting to take the externship position and not the paid position with the vet. I mean, for one thing, the position with the vet will only pay $10 p/hr (when I was making $20 before) and, well, it’s an income. On the other hand, the externship is free work for 1 month but at the end I could be making $18 p/hr w/o benefits for a little while until I can get a FT position and would make $21 p/hr plus great benefits (medical, 401K, vision, dental, paid vacations, paid sick leave, and paid holidays). With the vet it’s only $200 toward my medical and free vet services and 6 paid holidays and 2 wks paid vacation if I work there for more than a yr. The benefits at the hospital would start 3 months after the FT position…

I guess I’m just trying to get people to tell me if you think I made the right decision or not. Economically we’re not doing well but in the end it could all work out. I just don’t know what to do. The vet’s going to call me today to tell me if they’ll wait for me until I’m done with the externship…

 

[kevinsgirl]

Depends on if you want to keep the house and if ya’ll are still thinking about starting a family soon. Also, how are you gonna pay for living expenses while you are working for free? Finishing up and getting everything done sounds really good, but it also sounds like you need to be making something in the next month. Is there the possibility that you can get a non field related part time job? I’m thinking in terms of working stocking at Walmart or something.

If I were you I’d try to find a little job (drugstore, Walmart, grocery store, restaurants) paying minimum wage but work evenings and weekends and do the externship and finish everything up.

OR

I’d take the other job with the benefits and work on the externship nights and weekends.

 

[diosa25]

I hope I read and understand your situation correctly but it seems that you have to basically decide on bringing in less income now or no income for 1 month with high potential of good income after that month. Hmmm…well in my opinion, I would do the month free externship to advance in your career. I wouldn’t waste time in something you don’t intend on keeping…unless of course you absolutely cannot go one month without that pay. I know you said you need extra money for income but only you know your situation. Can you do without it for 1 month if you can get the other job with your externship full time? Even if you could not pay the mtg that one month, will that cause you to foreclose, just that one month? This is just my opinion but of course you know your situation and circumstances much better. The longterm benefits of that externship seem very important and could really help stabalize your long term situation instead of the quick fix job just for now. But do pray pray pray, as I know you will and ask God what he wants you to do.

Oh and also you said that you’d still find full time work. I’m pretty sure you can find some other job even if it is not as much as the $10/hr, at least it would bring in some income and help pay part of your mtg or other bills. God bless and I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[yessisan]

Depends on if you want to keep the house and if ya’ll are still thinking about starting a family soon. Also, how are you gonna pay for living expenses while you are working for free? Finishing up and getting everything done sounds really good, but it also sounds like you need to be making something in the next month. Is there the possibility that you can get a non field related part time job? I’m thinking in terms of working stocking at Walmart or something.

If I were you I’d try to find a little job (drugstore, Walmart, grocery store, restaurants) paying minimum wage but work evenings and weekends and do the externship and finish everything up.

OR

I’d take the other job with the benefits and work on the externship nights and weekends.

The problem is that I go to school at night 2 nights a week. And the place I was offered the externship is only open during business hrs and so is the vet’s office.

I was thinking of getting a pt job night and weekends maybe at starbucks or something but I’d be over doing it. I mean, I’d be doing 40 hrs a wk at the hospital, and 2 nights I go to school from 6-9:30pm. That’d only leave 3 wk nights and Saturday and Sunday, plus, on Sundays I’m an EMHC at my parish and I really don’t want to give up Mass or the ministry. If I were offered a pt job and told them I only had that little availability, I don’t thik they’d want me…

My husband is working 4 days a wk right now. He usually works 5 days and 8 hrs per day. These past few weeks he’s been working a few full days and a few half days. The house payment is HUGE… he’s already thinking of buying a manufactured home just in case we lose this one if we do stay together. It’d be a 3 bedroom house with 2 baths. Our house is 3 beds 2 baths. The only difference is the sq ft (ours is 1635 and the manufactured would be 1574) and it looks like a real home, it doesn’t look manufactured. Oh and the price of the house would be $59K compared to $437K (we pay $3000 p/mo for this house, the other house would be $500 p/mo plus the rent of the land or if we decided to purchase the lad it’d be $1000 p/mo)… oh, and the house we currently live in is one of those subprime loans that will change interest when we reach the 2 yrs and we can’t refinance since the value dropped almost $100k… The house we have is only on my credit, so his wouldn’t be ruined if we lost the house… and he’s already starting the process to build the manufactured home.

I don’t know… I’m so stuck. I tried talking to my mom about this but she says God will guide me in the right direction. Yeah, it’s not likely that God will tell me what to do from now until the vet calls me this evening.

I did pray to God that if it was His will and it was for our benefit, that I would get the job, and if I didn’t, that I would do the externship FT. So I thought He was telling me the externship was the way to go but then I got the call from the vet. Can you see why I’m stuck?

 

[yessisan]

I hope I read and understand your situation correctly but it seems that you have to basically decide on bringing in less income now or no income for 1 month with high potential of good income after that month. Hmmm…well in my opinion, I would do the month free externship to advance in your career. I wouldn’t waste time in something you don’t intend on keeping…unless of course you absolutely cannot go one month without that pay. I know you said you need extra money for income but only you know your situation. Can you do without it for 1 month if you can get the other job with your externship full time? Even if you could not pay the mtg that one month, will that cause you to foreclose, just that one month? This is just my opinion but of course you know your situation and circumstances much better. The longterm benefits of that externship seem very important and could really help stabalize your long term situation instead of the quick fix job just for now. But do pray pray pray, as I know you will and ask God what he wants you to do.

Oh and also you said that you’d still find full time work. I’m pretty sure you can find some other job even if it is not as much as the $10/hr, at least it would bring in some income and help pay part of your mtg or other bills. God bless and I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Hi Jennifer, you got the gist of it right. If I work for free for 1 month I can get a better paying job at the end of the 1 month. Or if I take the FT job, then I cannot advance in my career.

We don’t NEED the money other than for the mortgage payment. All the other bills and the food can be paid with what my husband is making. Plus, I do have 3 credit cards with high limits if I needed them for an emergency. The only bad thing is that we weren’t able to pay the mortgage for this month, so for next month it’ll be 2 months behind.

Maybe I am answering my own question… I really do need to do the externship so I can finish the reqs for school. I mean, I could get my dream job if I finish my externship, plus, aside from the certificate I’m getting, I already have a BA, and the more education you have, the easier it is to grown w/in this hospital. My mom did it that way, started as low as I will start and is now a director of 2 locations of the HMO (she went to school while working there and now has a BA and MBA).

 

[kage_ar]

My advice - look at which will help you get on your own two feet - if you are financially able to take care of yourself, it might allow you to look at the situation with your husband with more perspective. You do not need to be dependent on his income.

Prayers for you.

 

[kevinsgirl]

The house we have is only on my credit, so his wouldn’t be ruined if we lost the house… and he’s already starting the process to build the manufactured home.

Yessi–I know you and your hubby are trying to work things out, and I recognize that getting rid of your current home’s mortgage payments is a lot of stress on ya’ll’s relationship. That being said, it will hurt you to lose the house if ya’ll have any other problems in the near future as your credit will have taken a blow and your DH’s will be intact. I know ya’ll are working on stuff, and I really hope that doesn’t happen, but it is another factor to throw into the whole equation.

How much would you need to bring in to make your mortgage payment? At $10/hr, 40 hr week, 4 weeks you’ll be getting $1600 assuming no deductions. Is that enough to pay your mortgage? Because if not, then I’d just plow ahead with your externship and start over scratching the idea of a part-time job since your husband will be paying for living expenses. So basically if you can’t keep the house by taking the job at the vet, it makes much more sense to make sure your career gets a head start.

Does that makes sense?

kevinsgirl

 

[kevinsgirl]

My advice - look at which will help you get on your own two feet - if you are financially able to take care of yourself, it might allow you to look at the situation with your husband with more perspective. You do not need to be dependent on his income.

Prayers for you.

I agree with this too…so I’m amending my suggestion. I think you should do the externship if there’s no way to make the mortgage payment…and I really think you should work on weekends (but not weeknights). It’ll only be for a month, and you need to have an income especially since your credit will be getting worse and having that income will allow you to be somewhat independent in the event that things take a turn for the worse.

 

[yessisan]

My advice - look at which will help you get on your own two feet - if you are financially able to take care of yourself, it might allow you to look at the situation with your husband with more perspective. You do not need to be dependent on his income.

Prayers for you.

That’s why I’m having such a hard time. One can get me on my feet right away and the other will just take 1 more month and would be better for me. My husband is giving me all his income so I can pay for the bills and the food I eat (he
s living with his best friend right now). My mom already offered to lend me money but I declined (and she doesn’t know about what happened w/my husband yet). Maybe I can survive it one more month? I don’t know… I’m seriously going nuts. My conscience is having a tug of war. One side says take the job and make some money now; the other side says do the externship so I can get the better job in 1 month.

 

[diosa25]

Hi Jennifer, you got the gist of it right. If I work for free for 1 month I can get a better paying job at the end of the 1 month. Or if I take the FT job, then I cannot advance in my career.

We don’t NEED the money other than for the mortgage payment. All the other bills and the food can be paid with what my husband is making. Plus, I do have 3 credit cards with high limits if I needed them for an emergency. The only bad thing is that we weren’t able to pay the mortgage for this month, so for next month it’ll be 2 months behind.

Maybe I am answering my own question… I really do need to do the externship so I can finish the reqs for school. I mean, I could get my dream job if I finish my externship, plus, aside from the certificate I’m getting, I already have a BA, and the more education you have, the easier it is to grown w/in this hospital. My mom did it that way, started as low as I will start and is now a director of 2 locations of the HMO (she went to school while working there and now has a BA and MBA).

So if you look at both options separatley, how do they help you. You know the outcome of the externship option. But I’m not sure what happens to your house and how not making payments affects fees and foreclosure, so I can’t help you there. So if you look at getting the job and putting off your externship, will that even give you enough to pay that mtg payment? If not, I don’t see the point. Again, just my opinion. And also when can you do the externship again? Will you have to wait another year or can you do it next semester or the next month? That would also influence my decision. If you can do it next month also then maybe take the job and pay part of the mtg, but then you have to think by that next month that will be another payment that is behind and all the work you did did didn’t even pay 1 payment. If it is not going to benefit you I don’t see the option as really being an option. Know what I mean. You just have to be wise about your options. I always try to break things down over and over and see what the scenario might be with each option and how they will benefit me or if they will make things worse or even help get me to my goal at all. You have to also keep remember what exaclty is your goal, what are you working towards and will that option get you there or not.

 

[Belle10]

One side says take the job and make some money now; the other side says do the externship so I can get the better job in 1 month.

Sorry you’re in such a tough spot – sometimes having too many options is as tough as having none!

I think you should do the externship so you can get the better job. Find a way to make it through one more month of financial hardship so that you can get a start in the field you really want to be in. I also agree with the poster who mentioned doing what is best for you and not relying on your husband (in light of the abuse, etc. you shared a few weeks ago). Prayers for you. :hug1:

 

[yessisan]

Kevinsgirl, both things you said make sense. Yeah, my credit will be ruined for a while, it was already bad for 7 yrs (2 of my credit cards were stolen) and finally recovered from it to just make it go bad again.

And yeah, the job with the vet wouldn’t help to even pay the mortgage, it’d only be extra money and enough to pay for most of the monthly payment for my health insurance.

Maybe a wknd job will be good, but I would probably have to miss Mass and I’d be heart broken.

I think you ladies helped me figure this out. I’ll see if there is any place hiring for weekends only. I was so focused on a M-F job so I could still go to Mass and keep my catechetical class that it didn’t occur to me about a wknd job. I’ll see if Starbucks has something. They open early and close late, so maybe I can get something which will allow me to attend Mass… the EMHC schedule is almost done, maybe I should contact my parish to tell them I can’t do it for a while if I get a wknd job.

 

[chevalier]

What you’ve decided sounds like the right decision to me, if you can survive the time until you start earning money. But I don’t know your situation well enough or the situation where you live and work. I’ll remember you in my prayers.

 

[yessisan]

You have to also keep remember what exaclty is your goal, what are you working towards and will that option get you there or not.

My goal is to get a job in a hospital (preferably where I have my externship), so maybe the externship is the way to go. Oh, the externship is M-F business hrs and so is the job. That hospital isn’t open on evenings or wknds, so it’s one or the other.

I think you should do the externship so you can get the better job. Find a way to make it through one more month of financial hardship so that you can get a start in the field you really want to be in. I also agree with the poster who mentioned doing what is best for you and not relying on your husband (in light of the abuse, etc. you shared a few weeks ago). Prayers for you. :hug1:

The externship does sound like what I will be doing. It’s for the best in the long run. I don’t mind relying on my husband for the money one more month. I’ve already relied on him for one… besides, if things don’t get paid, his credit will be hurt too. Many of the bills are on his name.

What you’ve decided sounds like the right decision to me, if you can survive the time until you start earning money. But I don’t know your situation well enough or the situation where you live and work. I’ll remember you in my prayers.

You think? I hope so too because I don’t want to regret it later. I know I need money but with or w/o this job I still can’t pay for the house. Might as well do the externship so I can get ahead in my new career.

I’m starting to see that it was for the best that my baby was born in Heaven instead of stay here with me… with all these problems, I’d be stressing too much while being pregnant. These problems would’ve been too hard to handle and being having to go on maternity leave soon after starting a job would have made us be in this same exact situation either way.

 

[mom2Grace]

I would take the externship and get a weekend job. When I was in school I was doing student teaching full time (also no pay), classes a couple nights a week, and working as a barista on the weekends. The 5:30am-1:30pm shift is great because then you have time to do your studies and can get to a vigil or evening mass, no problem. In my experience, weekend shifts can be easy to get because most people want the weekends off. And then you can offer to fill in for other employees as your schedule permits. I was always looking for those extra shifts. Getting yourself situated with a possibly good, solid employment with benefits in a month sounds good to me. And call your bank and let them know your situation. If they hear that you’ll be back on your feet in a month, they might be able to work with you on the house payments. Growing up we had tough times but my mom always called the electric company, water, dentist, doctors, ect. to work out payments if she couldn’t get them all covered. And she has perfect credit to this day.

 

[GladCatholic]

My mom already offered to lend me money but I declined (and she doesn’t know about what happened w/my husband yet).

There’s a point in time where we should let people who love us help us. I know I don’t like help, but it comes from “pride” for me and we all know where that will get us.

If it were me, I’d thank mom and let her help, take the externship and if necessary, a weekend job, get the hospital job after the month and pay mom back with interest on a payment schedule.

Glad

 

[diosa25]

There’s a point in time where we should let people who love us help us. I know I don’t like help, but it comes from “pride” for me and we all know where that will get us.

If it were me, I’d thank mom and let her help, take the externship and if necessary, a weekend job, get the hospital job after the month and pay mom back with interest on a payment schedule.

Glad

I agree with this. This might be God’s way of helping you and you turned it down. Reminds me of the joke with the guy stranded out in the middle of the ocean and a boat comes by to save him and then a helicopter and then someone else and each time he keeps saying “no thanks, God will help me” and he ends up drowning and asks God why He never helped him. And God says “I did you dummy, I sent you a boat and a helicopter…blah blah”. I always think of that when people offer me stuff and I turn it down. It is ok to recieve help from people. That is what we are all here for, to help our brothers and sisters in Christ. It almost seems like an obvious decision to me now that you’ve given more info. Just take the externship, get the help from mom with payments for one month, then you’ll be on your feet with job, benefits and whatever else and you’ll be on your way! Ok so maybe it might not be that perfect but it is a completely feasible route! Good luck!

 

[hasikelee]

Go with the hospital free work! Those clinical hours are gosh dang dingly hard to get, especially at a good, competitive hospital.

 

[kevinsgirl]

I’m starting to see that it was for the best that my baby was born in Heaven instead of stay here with me… with all these problems, I’d be stressing too much while being pregnant. These problems would’ve been too hard to handle and being having to go on maternity leave soon after starting a job would have made us be in this same exact situation either way.

Yessi, try not to think that it’s good that Julian isn’t here because of these problems. You miscarried Julian because God wanted him home with Him and for no other reason. Not because of the kind of the mother your relatives tell you would have been or any of the other insane things they come up with. Not because of your problems with your marriage or because of your financial situation. God blessed you with him because of the wonderful mom you are and because he knew you’d be perfect for Julian because you’d love him with all your heart in the short time he’d be with you. :hug1: :hug1: :hug1:

 

[yessisan]

So, after this, and also talking to my aunt (the on who was able to get me the externship), I decided I’m going to do the externship. As far as accepting the $3000 from my mom, well, that’d only buy us one more month of the house, when DH really wants to get rid of it. I mean, in March next yr, if we can’t refinance, we’ll lose it anyway. Those government programs to help those in danger of foreclosure are all lies. I called the bank and they told me they wouldn’t help us. So I sent a letter telling them we had a temporary financial hardship with a printout of all our expenses but I haven’t heard back from them. My aunt did the same thing (she’s in the same situation financially as I am and her mortgage is w/the same bank as mine) but they already contacted her and are trying to help her. I guess all I have to do is wait?

I really regret having jumped on the purchase of the house. We made enough money monthly when we both worked, but I quit my job and even though I know it was for the best for my health, it wasn’t he best or our financial situation. I mean, even when dh was on disability for 3 months, I was able to pay the mortgage and the bills, but with him not working 40 hrs a wk, we can’t get by. I said it before, I wish we would’ve stayed in our 2 bedroom apt. Now we have a big dog, so an apt wouldn’t even help.

So, all I’m saying is that the house is still a goner anyhow. And I’m a bit embarrassed to go to my mom and tell her I would take her offer on the money. For what? The house will get paid but we’re still losing it.