I have a friend who asks me

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LorilopezInneed

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I have a girlfriend who asks me for advice and I have nothing relevant in which to help her. She’s recently separated (impending divorce) and is dating a guy who is very kind to her, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea.

He has a lot of money and he has agreed to just take things very slow. She is SO impressed with his patience and his positive outlook on life. And he does sound like a great friend… He is a good influence, it sounds like.

But she’s asking me what I think… What should I tell her?
 
What you told us. But it’s likely that she won’t listen to you, since she is on the rebound.

Is she Catholic?
 
Yes but she seems to be disappointed in the Church because of her husband/divorce.
 
LorilopezInneed said:
Yes but she seems to be disappointed in the Church because of her husband/divorce.
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Why is she disappointed in the Church? Does she not understand her own and her husband’s culpability? Was there adultery on her husband’s part?

Remind her that she is dallying with adultery since she is not divorced and her marriage is not annulled.

People always want to blame the Church for their own failings/mistakes.
 
I think she just prayed so hard for a resolution and her husband didn’t get any better. So she felt she had to divorce.

This guy sounds like a great guy, but it’s a slippery slope. She says she will only kiss him… But isn’t that still adultery?
 
She should wait to date until her divorce and until she can get an annulment.
 
If she is catholic and validly married, she is not free to date even after a civil divorce. She’s married unless she gets a decree of nullity. And even if she’s civilly divorced, that doesn’t gaurantee an annulment. Tell her not to compound her mistake with more mistakes, which could put her into a situation she can’t get out of.
 
She has found a new friend and comfort, Congrats. She admits it is going slowly so I see only positive from this situation. Being divorced or seperated does not mean one cannot have a friend. Be supportive of your friend not judgemental and presume the worst.
 
LorilopezInneed said:
I have a girlfriend who asks me for advice and I have nothing relevant in which to help her. She’s recently separated (impending divorce) and is dating a guy who is very kind to her, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea.

He has a lot of money and he has agreed to just take things very slow. She is SO impressed with his patience and his positive outlook on life. And he does sound like a great friend… He is a good influence, it sounds like.

But she’s asking me what I think… What should I tell her?
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She asked; tell her what you think! Your opinion must mean something to her or she would not have brought the question up.
 
Understood that I shouldn’t be judgmental. But is kissing another man ok during seperation???
 
Others have answered the question quite plainly for you, but I’ll reiterate.

The Catholic Church does not recognize civil divorce as having any bearing on a valid marriage. Therefore, unless an annulment were to be granted (and there is no guarantee that it ever will be), the friend is no less married than the day of her wedding.

Married people do not hold hands, have intimate conversations, or kiss members of the opposite sex other than their spouses.
 
A kiss is marginal and no worries. I for example kiss my mother, daughter and dog sometimes
 
Bismarck said:
A kiss is marginal and no worries. I for example kiss my mother, daughter and dog sometimes
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Agreed, I do too, however I disagree that it is marginal in this case. There is no possibility of any intimacy with those three examples. She needs to tread carefully here.
 
Saturn5 said:
Agreed, I do too, however I disagree that it is marginal in this case. There is no possibility of any intimacy with those three examples. She needs to tread carefully here.
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Tread carefully, agreed.
 
Bismarck said:
A kiss is marginal and no worries. I for example kiss my mother, daughter and dog sometimes
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It’s not marginal between two people who are dating, one of which is still married. This woman is flirting with danger.
 
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