I Have a Huge Crush on A Seminarian

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Magnificant

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Hello. Let me introduce myself first.

I’m 15 years old, an altar girl or altar server, and have feelings on a Seminarian that attends our church.



I don’t think it started when I started serving in the church, it started even before I serve in the church. As far as I can remember, it was when I attended the “Evening Mass”.


As a 7th Grader by that time, it is natural to have a crush on someone, but I barely got attracted or have a “huge” crush on a single guy. I may have a crush on some, but not as much as I do until I met this Seminarian in our church.


Let us go back to the Evening Mass (I’m not yeat an altar server in this time). Honestly, I don’t even know what is a ‘seminarian’ before and why he is so young and wearing white robe. These curiosity got me thinking and observing him at the altar.


Observing until something change about the way I look at him. He kinds of becoming to look attractive for me.



Until last year, or 30th of December, year 2017—I've decided to be an altar server.

I actually really had forgotten the Seminarian until I attend the mass (a week before I first serve). It was a Sunday mass and my house is a walking distance from our church. While walking alongside the road, I coincidentally looked at the road and saw him at the back seat of a tricycle on a white polo and black pants —looking at me. As my usual response to everybody, I quickly looked away. My heart skipped a beat unknowingly and my mind was kind of baffled, "I think I know him, he's familiar."


Until I finally realised that it was him, and my feelings started to come back and grew more and more as time passes by. I also learned what he is. He is a future priest.

I started my first serve on January 6th, 2018—just this year. The seminarian was not there on my 3 weeks of serving but until this Sunday. I was so shocked when I saw him in his white robe beside the priest.




Coincidentally, I was paired with him, with me holding the Communion-plate and him giving the Sacramental bread. The first time I ever got so close to him.




So, the main problem is, I’m really concerned about everything about my feelings for him. I know it myself, I’m deeply attracted and slowly falling for him. I know that he will be a priest soon. He can’t have a romantic relationship to women or anybody but to God. I know all of that. All of that.


(Note: About the distraction I may having that may pop up to your minds, nope, I’m attentive to the masses, and also he is not the reason of me serving at the church.)
There’s nothing wrong to love. To love is what Jesus told us to do. “God is love, love is God.” So I find it nothing wrong about my feelings for him. I know our boundaries. But still, I’m kind of confused. I’m thinking about of being a nun, but I know that my parents would not let me. But deep inside, I really want to serve God.


May God guide me for making decisions. Please pray for me. God bless you all.
 
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enamorment is not usually permanent
I would encourage you to pray about it- for both of your spiritual health and vocations.
If altar serving becomes an occasion of sin for you, quit. Simple as that.
 
I am not saying that. I said that if altar serving puts you in the occasion of sin , you should quit.
 
Oh, thank you. It is not making me sins though. Serving strengthens my faith.
 
The bad: you have a crush.

The good: you have a crush.

Everyone has crushes. It’s normal (I should know, I’ve had my share). But crushes come and go. It may be hard right now to know it will never be fulfilled. But you have to persevere. I have no doubt that it will leave you when the Seminarian gets deeper into his studies and as he leaves the parish.

My advice: admire him, but don’t fantasize over him. But most of all, pray for him. If he is going to be a priest, he needs it. 😉
 
You are 15. You are going to gave lots of crushes in your life. This one is going no where. Ever.

You seem a bit immature, feeling like you are falling for someone because you “saw him.”

I agree with Max on this one, perhaps you should quit since you seem unable to realize that this crush is nothing, and you are thinking about it enough that you are on a Catholic website, asking strangers their opinions.

What do you think everyone will advise?
 
Yeah. This will go nowhere and can be very intrusive to his formation.
Crushes are always a problem. ONe takes it way too seriously, and the other gets annoyed. Just walk away.
Peace.
 
Irishmom2 said:
you should quit since you seem unable to realize that this crush is nothing,
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I’m so sad for hearing the word “quit”. I know that this is just ‘crush’ an ‘immature’ feeling. But I don’t know how it comes to the point that I need to quit because it is a sin? Or serving puts me into sins?

I’m deeply disappointed because what I can interpret with your words “quit” is like discouraging me from my faith. And I should leave God because I liked a Seminarian, a future priest.

Maybe I just misinterpreted some details with my post, but I know what I feel and done.

By the way Ma’am, thank you very much. God bless you.
 
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pianistclare said:
Crushes are always a problem. ONe takes it way too seriously, and the other gets annoyed. Just walk away.
Click to expand...
Yes. I know my boundary. I can’t be a hindrance for someone who would be a priest soon.

Good bless.
 
Yes… I got it. He can’t be a hindrance of my service to God. Am I right?
 
Who? The seminarian? How could he be? Is he pursuing you?
Why do I get the impression you are looking for a loophole. 🤔
 
Nope. No one is pursuing one. It is just an admiration. A simple risky admiration.
 
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Well, you seem to know it’s no a great thing. Just quit it.
Those unavailable to us always seem more “exciting”.
Take it for what it is. A crush, nothing more, and likely, misplaced.
 
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Yeah. Just an admiration. Nothing more. And just to keep it myself.
 
Hello Magnificant,

You mention a feeling of confusion in your post. Would I be right in saying that’s the reason you posted? Let me see if I can address that aspect, since you already know why you can’t pursue this young man.

What you’re feeling is natural. We all go through crushes. His being a seminarian doesn’t change that. Your attraction to religious life doesn’t either. Even if, when you’re a little older, you discern a genuine religious vocation and wear a habit and make all the vows, this doesn’t stop. Religious life is not natural. It’s supernatural, totally dependent on God to overcome human weakness.

So that’s my suggestion to you, pray to God and be dependent on Him. Assuming you have the maturity to keep your feelings to yourself, I see no reason for you to stop being an altar server. But if that changes, or altar serving only fuels fantasy, then it would be a problem.

Crushes don’t go away over night. To help you, see if you can distract yourself. Go out with friends, see a movie, clean house, read a book - whatever you like, just don’t let yourself be idle to think about him. Where you can let yourself feel affection for him is in your prayers for him. Direct your love to wanting the very best for him, that he becomes the best he can be. Ask God for whatever graces he needs to be a saint. Love is putting his needs before your own, and considering what he needs in your prayers for him may make you less inclined to see him in a romantic light.

May God bless and keep you always, Magnificant.
 
The good thing is a crush is an emotional feeling. We are rational humans, we are not only able, but, as Christians we are supposed to bring our emotions under the control of the will.
 
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