I have a problem with a priest

[Meggie18]

Two months ago, I confessed a grave sin to a priest, something that I was infinitely ashamed of. It took me all my strength to go receive the sacrament of Reconciliation. Tomorrow, I have to attend an activity in which this priest will also take part in. I absolutely have to participate, because I’m bringing children from my parish. I have no way of getting out of it. The problem is that I’m terrified of facing this priest again. I’m so ashamed of what I told him during confession! I’m trying to convince myself that he probably doesn’t remember it, but it’s also possible that he does! I don’t know how I’ll be able to look at him…

Any advice? I don’t know what to do.

Thanks,

Meggie

 

[Joannm]

Do not worry one bit. He will NOT think badly of you in fact he probably will not even remember. I like to tell the story of the worst sin I ever confessed and after I was finished confessing and he absolved me the priest told me to apply for a job in his parish which I did and we worked together for a number of year and we are still friends.

 

[Aeden]

Trust me, if your priest was holding confessions, he probably heard some doozies. Moreover, assuming it was not a face to face confession, he probably won’t recognize you by your voice unless you sound like mogran freeman or something. It’s fine.

 

[PeterJohn]

They took an oath to not treat you differently after confession.
If you confess that you are a compulsive embezzler and apply to be the parish treasurer that next day, and your the best candidate, the priest must hire you.

 

[Meggie18]

Trust me, if your priest was holding confessions, he probably heard some doozies. Moreover, assuming it was not a face to face confession, he probably won’t recognize you by your voice unless you sound like mogran freeman or something. It’s fine.

It was a face to face confession and it so happens that our paths frequently cross at my parish

And I know that he’s not supposed to treat me differently because of what I said to him, but just imagining what he may think of me gives me a hard time…

 

[Non_sum_dignus]

Priests are masters of short memory. They also hear everyone’s sins, and they realize how pervasive sin really is. The thing that seems monumental and unique to you is business as usual for them. The sin is gone now, forgiven. Jesus has forgotten it, and the priest has as well. Don’t be the only one hanging on to it.

 

[ForGood]

I have the same problem sometimes but it helps me to think that Jesus wouldn’t feel differently about me - and the proudest is in persona Christi - so no worries.

 

[Joannm]

It is always good to remember that priests sin as well and they have to go to confession and I am sure they run into the priests they confessed to all the time.

 

[Lancer]

Understand your anxiety…been there too.

First, your title “…problem with a priest…” should be more precise…they do cause and are…sometimes…instigators of trouble…but…your problem is personal…the priest is simply doing his “job”…he simply heard your confession…did not say nor did not do…anything wrong. Forgive my nitpicking but they (priests)…many times…get severely criticized…for simply doing their “job” stuff.

Second…you see your sin as separate from yourself…and it leaves you dismayed…but…the best solution…in my sinful experiences…is to claim your sin(s)…it is me who did…“XYZ”…not some imaginary or fictional person…I am that sinner. Being exact…if I told a lie about someone…I am a liar…a calumniator…not a good guy who just got confused and made a mistake. Bottom line: exactness, preciseness and ownership of my actions… in examination of conscience and confessing my sins to the priest…is freedom…no more euphemisms…I am a sinner…a liar…a petty, a pride filled horse’s “arss”. Who I am is an adopted son of the living god…a disciple of Christ…a member of the Body of Christ…but what I am/have become is a clear cut sinner!

I find great freedom and peace in the Jesus Prayer:…

…Lord Jesus Christ, (Risen) son of the Living god…have mercy on me a sinner

I find that dealing with this simple truth…makes confessing to a priest…simple and tranquil…my energy is focused on God,The Father’s love and mercy in the person of Christ Jesus…and next my energy is focused on a firm purpose of amendment and effort – all in and with His grace – to grow in holiness and fidelity…sacrificial love and obedience.

Confession is not a walk in the park…it is a walk in the Truth…a person… Christ Jesus…a far fetch from a walk in anxiety and embarrassment.

For your consideration…

Pax Christi

.

 

[littlenothing]

I asked a priest once if he ever thought about sins of parishioners when he saw them. He said he’s heard everything there is to hear, why would he? Then he said as soon as someone is finished with their confession he forgets it all anyway. He wondered if it was God’s way of using him as a ear for the penitent, but not forcing the priest to carry the whole burden that Jesus carried in the Garden of Olives.

That certainly made me feel much better. I hope I expressed it well enough for you to benefit.

 

[Gertabelle]

Well, if it makes you feel better, I once had to chase Father from the confession line to the sacristy to beg him to hear my confession before mass. Mortal sin and knowledge of its consequences are a pretty powerful driving force.

We’d waited in line for over 45 minutes, but there was only one priest that day, and about 30 people in line. When Father left the confessional, I was third in line, and mass was going to begin in just 10 minutes. I grabbed my young son and nearly ran to the sacristy, sent my son to the bathroom, and told Father I needed confess a mortal sin. He shut the door, took 30 seconds to hear my confession, my one-sentence simplification of the Act of Contrition, and give absolution.

Talk about humiliation!

And did I mention I sing in the choir, play the organ for another mass, and have a young son who just attends the parish school? You betchya this priest knows me!

But the humiliation of that moment is just one more motivation to firmly resist sin – and I THANK GOD for the memory of it!
Oh, and I used to confess face-to-face – same embarassing, horrible sins every week or two – to the same priest. The fifth time I was in confession with this priest, he looked me right in the eye and asked “have we talked about this before?” You mean, my confessed sins are not the center of his universe???

You’re fine. Get over it. Thank God for the opportunity to grow in the virtue of humility. And in the words of Our Lord, go and sin no more

God bless you!

Gertie

 

[stjoe4u2]

Hi Meggie18,

I have had numerous times during weekdays, where I will have confessed before Mass and then went on to be the lector at Mass. People have told me my whole life that I have a very distinctive voice. I never let myself be worried by this. Yes, I briefly thought about what does the priest think about me confessing this or that and then reading at Mass.

But, fortunately, the good Lord reminds me that confessing to the priest is merely confessing to Him. If you ever think “What does the priest think of me and my sins?” Review this passage, Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our sins from us.”

Another side note: I would often confess on a weekday, even then sometimes a line would get long. One day, I was waiting in line when I knew confession time would end and Father would need to come out and offer Mass. I was silently praying that Father would have enough time to hear my confession before Mass. Suddenly, the lady in front of me, said to me “Why don’t you take my place in line?” Maybe her Guardian Angel inspired her, I don’t know. I told her “Thank you very much, there is something really troubling me today. I will offer my Mass today in gratitude for you.” The look on her face was so, so happy too!

stjoe4u2

 

[Ancient1]

Priests don’t remember and don’t want to remember your sins. Once they give absolution, they are as free as you are.

I heard a priest tell the congregation, “Folks, if you see me at coffee and donuts and you think I give you a strange look, it’s not that I am remembering what you confessed. It’s just the donut is stale.”

The last thing they do is sit around pondering the HUNDREDS of various confessions they’ve heard. Who could keep track? Some actually train themselves to forget. Notice of all the problems we have with priests today, one that almost never comes up, from liberals or conservatives, young or old, is the violation of the Seal of the Confessional. They know how to set those memories aside and let go.

 

[Durgananda]

Dear Meggie,
It does not matter what the priest remembers or forgets. We must think of Christ, not the priest. We must see Christ. Remember Jesus. The priest is only a medium through whom Jesus communicates with us.
The priests too, surely know human weaknesses, and understand us.

 

[Marchmain1987]

My parish only has face-to-face (and to tell the truth – I like it better) confessions.

I remember how deathly sick I was when I made my first confession. I had some doozies also. I had the option of going to a visiting priest or my parish priest (Penance Service). All the time I thought I would go to the “guy who doesn’t know me.” I ended up going to my parish priest.

After Confession, he said some kind things to me (even after just hearing me confess to doing x, y, and z). Chances are you haven’t told him anything he hasn’t heard before. And chances are he may have confessed to some of the same.

It is okay – really!

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Understand your anxiety…been there too.

First, your title “…problem with a priest…” should be more precise…they do cause and are…sometimes…instigators of trouble…but…your problem is personal…the priest is simply doing his “job”…he simply heard your confession…did not say nor did not do…anything wrong. Forgive my nitpicking but they (priests)…many times…get severely criticized…for simply doing their “job” stuff.

Second…you see your sin as separate from yourself…and it leaves you dismayed…but…the best solution…in my sinful experiences…is to claim your sin(s)…it is me who did…“XYZ”…not some imaginary or fictional person…I am that sinner. Being exact…if I told a lie about someone…I am a liar…a calumniator…not a good guy who just got confused and made a mistake. Bottom line: exactness, preciseness and ownership of my actions… in examination of conscience and confessing my sins to the priest…is freedom…no more euphemisms…I am a sinner…a liar…a petty, a pride filled horse’s “arss”. Who I am is an adopted son of the living god…a disciple of Christ…a member of the Body of Christ…but what I am/have become is a clear cut sinner!

I find great freedom and peace in the Jesus Prayer:…

I find that dealing with this simple truth…makes confessing to a priest…simple and tranquil…my energy is focused on God,The Father’s love and mercy in the person of Christ Jesus…and next my energy is focused on a firm purpose of amendment and effort – all in and with His grace – to grow in holiness and fidelity…sacrificial love and obedience.

Confession is not a walk in the park…it is a walk in the Truth…a person… Christ Jesus…a far fetch from a walk in anxiety and embarrassment.

For your consideration…

Pax Christi

.

:heaven::harp: Excellent thoughts, :knight2:Lancer. :angel1: This helps all of us.:grouphug::grouphug:
:curtsey:Kathryn Ann:curtsey:

 

[kmleo]

But why do you assume that your priest isn’t anything but overjoyed that you’ve been forgiven?

Do you think doctors say to themselves, “Ugh, there’s that patient of mine who I just cured of the bloodcicles. Can you believe she used to have BLOODCICLES?” On the contrary. It is more likely that they think, “praise God she came forward in time to be cured.”

Your priest rejoices for your conversion and for your faith.

**Note: bloodcicles are an imaginary but painful physical ailment. It is extremely deadly but very easy to cure if you have a highly trained specialist and a willing patient.

 

[Sonny1954]

It was a face to face confession and it so happens that our paths frequently cross at my parish

And I know that he’s not supposed to treat me differently because of what I said to him, but just imagining what he may think of me gives me a hard time…

I certainly understand your unease. I always confess behind a screen and, if possible, at a parish where I am not a member.

 

[letters2mary]

Your feelings are understandable, but priests are trained to have good ‘forgettors’ and absent extreme circumstances, they are forbiddent to break the seal. Chances are they have heard everything. Remember, too, that what you think is awful may not be shocking to experienced ears. You have been absolved: start living in to that.

–One who knows!

 

[metrostyle]

I go to a really small church so my priest already knows who I am and even verifies that it is me. So when i feel really bad about sins that I have committed I go to another parish where the priest does not know me. I feel more at ease with someone who does not know me personally. You could just call me chicken I guess!