I have developed a fear of the Eucharist

  • Thread starter Thread starter RGCheek
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

RGCheek

Guest
Cant explain it. The realization hit me a few years ago. This wafer the priest is putting into my mouth is a part of the Creator in a very special sense, akin to the Divine Presence of God in the Holy of Holies in the Temple that no one could enter except for the High Priest on a specific Holy Day, once a year.

And I am putting Him into my body?

After all the things I have done, forgiven or not, I cannot do it any more.

The mere thought of it all is just overwhelming. I cant even come anywhere near it.

It just feels completely wrong for me to do so.

Cant shake it.
 
Well I can understand your feeling and the guilt is the same burden St Paul was confronted with. I hear you, Jesus didn’t promise peace in this world brother but he promised it in the next. But peace isn’t the absence of trouble its the addition of grace. Its the awareness of all this which present the guilt.
 
RGCheek said:
Cant explain it. The realization hit me a few years ago. This wafer the priest is putting into my mouth is a part of the Creator in a very special sense, akin to the Divine Presence of God in the Holy of Holies in the Temple that no one could enter except for the High Priest on a specific Holy Day, once a year.

And I am putting Him into my body?

After all the things I have done, forgiven or not, I cannot do it any more.

The mere thought of it all is just overwhelming. I cant even come anywhere near it.

It just feels completely wrong for me to do so.

Cant shake it.
Click to expand...
Honestly, this seems like either (a) your scrupulosity showing up or (b) Satan trying to tempt you by making you feel like you’re not worthy to receive Jesus, thus denying yourself the graces you gain from receiving (while in a state of grace) to avoid sinning. Seriously. This is something that you should see your spiritual advisor, or at least your pastor, about.
 
powerofk said:
Honestly, this seems like either (a) your scrupulosity showing up or (b) Satan trying to tempt you by making you feel like you’re not worthy to receive Jesus, thus denying yourself the graces you gain from receiving (while in a state of grace) to avoid sinning. Seriously. This is something that you should see your spiritual advisor, or at least your pastor, about.
Click to expand...
👍 It could not hurt to talk to a minister.
 
Philippians 3:13-14
Click to expand...
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
Click to expand...
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Click to expand...
Paul was saying that he was not going to allow his past to keep him from claiming heaven for faithfully following the Lord. He replaced living in the past with living in the future.👍
 
OTOH, the OP may indeed be a true believer.

I notice the term “God-fearing” isn’t used that often anymore anywhere.
 
powerofk said:
Honestly, this seems like either (a) your scrupulosity showing up or (b) Satan trying to tempt you by making you feel like you’re not worthy to receive Jesus, thus denying yourself the graces you gain from receiving (while in a state of grace) to avoid sinning. Seriously. This is something that you should see your spiritual advisor, or at least your pastor, about.
Click to expand...
I have, but this isn’t a rational thing, but an emotional thing.

God is so beyond us. I recall an incident in the OT where a man who was helping to move the Ark to the new site in Jerusalem touched the Ark in order to steady it and God struck him down.

I don’t think we truly appreciate the concept of God being so Holy that He would kill people who failed to show Him the proper respect. Not suggesting it is true now, but it does provide for a certain historical dimension that makes me feel unworthy, so freaking unworthy, how dare I approach the Divine Presence of God?
 
ProVobis said:
OTOH, the OP may indeed be a true believer.

I notice the term “God-fearing” isn’t used that often anymore anywhere.
Click to expand...
Well I do fear God, that is for sure, and I dread His Judgment. The recollection of my sins and what they merit make me so.

Are there holes in Gods’ Forgiveness net? Not according to the church, but with my luck I would be a rare exception, lol.

God should be feared, or else you are not taking Him seriously enough, it seems to me.
 
Trust in Him.

This is the way Jesus wanted it.

As long as you are in a state of Grace, there is no problem.
 
RGCheek said:
Well I do fear God, that is for sure, and I dread His Judgment. The recollection of my sins and what they merit make me so.

Are there holes in Gods’ Forgiveness net? Not according to the church, but with my luck I would be a rare exception, lol.

God should be feared, or else you are not taking Him seriously enough, it seems to me.
Click to expand...
I think all of us who have an idea of our guilt and sinfulness dread God’s judgment.

But do not rely on luck but on grace and on God’s goodness.

You might want to read the Diary of St. Faustina.

My hope rests on God’s mercy because I know I will not make it to Heaven on my merits alone.
 
RGCheek said:
Cant explain it. The realization hit me a few years ago. This wafer the priest is putting into my mouth is a part of the Creator in a very special sense, akin to the Divine Presence of God in the Holy of Holies in the Temple that no one could enter except for the High Priest on a specific Holy Day, once a year.

And I am putting Him into my body?

After all the things I have done, forgiven or not, I cannot do it any more.

The mere thought of it all is just overwhelming. I cant even come anywhere near it.

It just feels completely wrong for me to do so.

Cant shake it.
Click to expand...
You have a fear of the Eucharist? Good, don’t lose it.
 
RGCheek said:
Cant explain it. The realization hit me a few years ago. This wafer the priest is putting into my mouth is a part of the Creator in a very special sense, akin to the Divine Presence of God in the Holy of Holies in the Temple that no one could enter except for the High Priest on a specific Holy Day, once a year.

And I am putting Him into my body?

After all the things I have done, forgiven or not, I cannot do it any more.

The mere thought of it all is just overwhelming. I cant even come anywhere near it.

It just feels completely wrong for me to do so.

Cant shake it.
Click to expand...
Jesus was with his Friends when he said, “This is my body”. He did not give it to his enemies. To one of his Friends he said, “I’m telling you the truth, Peter, you are going to deny me three times before the morning rooster crows.” and gave the sacrament of his body to Peter all the same.

Look with your eyes, your physical eyes, and see the Body he tells you that you are to eat. Eat that body that has blood alongside it on the altar, eat the sacrifice and nothing more. Let your soul take care of the rest with understanding the presence of the Soul and Divinity. When you let your soul figure out the rest at a later time, then you are like the disciples who hardly knew what was going on but simply ate and drank what Jesus handed to them because it was Jesus handing it to them. Later, out of their souls came the understanding of what really happened as they were given the Spirit of Wisdom and Understanding.
 
RGCheek said:
Cant explain it. The realization hit me a few years ago. This wafer the priest is putting into my mouth is a part of the Creator in a very special sense, akin to the Divine Presence of God in the Holy of Holies in the Temple that no one could enter except for the High Priest on a specific Holy Day, once a year.

And I am putting Him into my body?
Click to expand...
Yes.
RGCheek said:
After all the things I have done, forgiven or not, I cannot do it any more.

The mere thought of it all is just overwhelming. I cant even come anywhere near it.

It just feels completely wrong for me to do so.

Cant shake it.
Click to expand...
Jesus to St. Faustina

Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too, should not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as many (129) treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me more. (Diary, 294)

My daughter, do not omit Holy Communion unless you know well that your fall was serious; apart from this, no doubt must stop you from uniting yourself with Me in the mystery of My love. Your minor faults will disappear in My love like a piece of straw thrown into a great furnace. Know that you grieve Me much when you fail to receive Me in Holy Communion. (Diary, 156)
Jesus to Catalina:
The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf

**9) I want to tell My souls the bitterness, the tremendous sorrow that filled My Heart that night. Although My joy was great at accompanying mankind until the end of time and in becoming the Divine Nourishment of souls, and of seeing how many would render Me homage of adoration, love, and reparation, great was the sadness that caused Me to contemplate all those souls that were to abandon Me at the Tabernacle and how many would doubt My presence in the Eucharist.
  1. In how many hearts stained, impure and completely torn by sin I would have to enter! And how My profaned Flesh and Blood, would become the reason for the damnation of so many souls! You cannot understand the way in which I contemplated all the sacrileges, offenses, and tremendous abominations that would be committed against Me… the many hours that I would spend alone in the Tabernacles. How many long nights! How many human beings would reject the loving calls that I would address to them.
  2. For love of souls, I remain a prisoner in the Holy Eucharist, so that in their sorrow and grief they are being consoled by the most tender of Hearts, by the best of Fathers, by the most loyal friend. But that Love, which is consumed for the good of mankind, is not going to be returned.
  3. I live amongst sinners to be their salvation and their life, their doctor and medicine; yet they, in return, in spite of their sick nature, distance themselves from Me. They offend Me and scorn Me.
  4. My children, poor sinners! Do not distance yourselves from Me. I wait for you night and day at the Tabernacle. I will not reproach you for your crimes; I will not throw your sins in your face. What I will do is to wash you with the Blood of My wounds. Do not be afraid; come to Me. You do not know how much I love you.
  5. And you, dear souls, why are you cold and indifferent to My love? I know you have to attend to the needs of your family, your home, and of the world that constantly demands of you. But, can it be that you do not have a moment to come and give Me proof of your love and gratitude? Do not allow yourselves to be carried away by so many useless worries; reserve a moment of your time to visit the Prisoner of Love. If your body is sick, can you not find a few minutes to seek the Doctor who must cure you? Come to He who can restore strength and health of the soul. Give alms of love to this Divine Beggar, who calls you, wants you, and waits for you.**
Click to expand...
Jesus to Catalina:
The Holy Mass - loveandmercy.org/Eng-HM-Reg.pdf
  1. When I returned to my seat and started to kneel down, the Lord said:** “Listen…”** And a moment later, I began to hear the prayers of the lady who was seated in front of me and who had just received Communion.
  2. What she was saying without opening her mouth was more or less like this: “Lord, remember that we are at the end of the month and I do not have the money to pay the rent, the car and the children’s school. You have to do something to help me… Please, make my husband stop drinking so much. I can no longer bear his drunken episodes, and my youngest son is going to be held back again this year if you do not help him. He has exams this week. And do not forget that my neighbor must move to another place. Have her do it at once because I cannot stand her any more… etc., etc…”
  3. Then, His Excellency said: “Let us pray,” and obviously all the assembly stood up for the final prayer. Jesus said in a sad tone: **“Did you notice? Not once did she tell Me that she loved Me. Not once did she give thanks for My gift to her of bringing My Divinity down to her poor humanity to elevate her toward Me. Not a single time did she say: ‘Thank You Lord.’ It has been a litany of requests… and almost all of those who come to receive Me are like that.
  4. “I have died for love and I am risen. For love I await each one of you, and for love I remain with you… But you do not realize that I need your love. Remember that I am the Beggar of Love in this sublime hour for the soul.”**
Click to expand...
I hope this has helped

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
josh987654321 said:
Yes.

Jesus to St. Faustina

Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too, should not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as many (129) treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me more. (Diary, 294)

My daughter, do not omit Holy Communion unless you know well that your fall was serious; apart from this, no doubt must stop you from uniting yourself with Me in the mystery of My love. Your minor faults will disappear in My love like a piece of straw thrown into a great furnace. Know that you grieve Me much when you fail to receive Me in Holy Communion. (Diary, 156)

I hope this has helped

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
Click to expand...
This is a great help, just knowing others have had this sort of feeling too and I am not crazy of Aspergering out.

I think I will use these as daily readings for a while.
 
RGCheek said:
I have, but this isn’t a rational thing, but an emotional thing.

God is so beyond us. I recall an incident in the OT where a man who was helping to move the Ark to the new site in Jerusalem touched the Ark in order to steady it and God struck him down.

I don’t think we truly appreciate the concept of God being so Holy that He would kill people who failed to show Him the proper respect. Not suggesting it is true now, but it does provide for a certain historical dimension that makes me feel unworthy, so freaking unworthy, how dare I approach the Divine Presence of God?
Click to expand...
Hey RGCheek,

You are mistaken in this.

Well, of course you don’t deserve to receive the entirety of the Creator of the Universe into your soul. You are utterly, cataclysmically undeserving! More undeserving than you could ever imagine!
But you are not at all unworthy. Undoubtedly, this is never something you could do yourself; God has to offer it to you. Really, Jesus has *commanded *you to do this, and, in his own total mercy, he has made you worthy of it. He lifts you, a pathetic and petty worm, out of the muck and depravity of your own sin and into the fullest glory of Heaven.
To *eat *the Body and Blood of Almighty God is is a thought OT Jews wouldn’t have dared to have in their minds for second. It’s total lunacy. In fact that’s how I like to think of Jesus sometimes–a crazed lover that humiliates Himself in public out of love for me. 🙂

You are right to fear Him, but assume for your own sake that he makes you worthy of such a Gift before giving it to you.

Hope this helped,

–Greg
 
RGCheek said:
Cant explain it. The realization hit me a few years ago. This wafer the priest is putting into my mouth is a part of the Creator in a very special sense, akin to the Divine Presence of God in the Holy of Holies in the Temple that no one could enter except for the High Priest on a specific Holy Day, once a year.

And I am putting Him into my body?

After all the things I have done, forgiven or not, I cannot do it any more.

The mere thought of it all is just overwhelming. I cant even come anywhere near it.

It just feels completely wrong for me to do so.

Cant shake it.
Click to expand...
God became man–Verbum caro factum est.

If God was unapproachable he wouldn’t have done that. He wouldn’t be offering himself in the Eucharist daily at the altar either.

God’s holiness isn’t an enclosed righteousness that is something we can only look at in awe and fear. God’s holiness is a love that reached out to each of us and calls us to friendship, to communion. Something Pope St. John Paul II frequently said quoting Jesus is perhaps especially relevant here: Be not afraid!
 
I know that this is going to be unpopular advice here, so let me apologize in advance.

I would consult with my pastor if I felt overwhelmed by the Real Presence in the Eucharist. Perhaps you could discuss with him the very many graces received from the Eucharist, the awe and unworthiness you feel (as we all should) and ask if he thinks it would be advisable to abstain until your Easter Duty (as you are only required to receive as part of your Easter Duty – Mass obligation throughout the year still stands, though).
 
Gregory_Olson said:
Hey RGCheek,

You are mistaken in this.

Well, of course you don’t deserve to receive the entirety of the Creator of the Universe into your soul. You are utterly, cataclysmically undeserving! More undeserving than you could ever imagine!
But you are not at all unworthy. Undoubtedly, this is never something you could do yourself; God has to offer it to you. Really, Jesus has *commanded *you to do this, and, in his own total mercy, he has made you worthy of it. He lifts you, a pathetic and petty worm, out of the muck and depravity of your own sin and into the fullest glory of Heaven.
To *eat *the Body and Blood of Almighty God is is a thought OT Jews wouldn’t have dared to have in their minds for second. It’s total lunacy. In fact that’s how I like to think of Jesus sometimes–a crazed lover that humiliates Himself in public out of love for me. 🙂

You are right to fear Him, but assume for your own sake that he makes you worthy of such a Gift before giving it to you.

Hope this helped,

–Greg
Click to expand...
Yes, the words do help some.

It is the part where I make it part of my heart felt view of the world that is failing. I am hoping that studying the frustrations some past saints have had along these lines is going to help me ‘internalize’ this Grace we know is true.

I just don’t feel it, only the condemnation.

And that makes me dread drawing the gaze of God upon me.

I guess I am being stupid, but emotions are just that way sometimes.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top