I Have Done Wrong!

[Finn_Bowen]

This is really embarrassing, but here it goes.

To make a long story, I have been addicted to masturbation for a long time. When I accepted Jesus, I decided to lay off this addiction. While praying, I told my intention to God, and I allowed Him to send a demon to my house if I started again. I figured the fear of a demon would help me.

Lately, I have been having problems containing it. So, yesterday, I made another agreement. I decided to give up much of my favorite music, and I vowed to observe the Ten Commandments more firmly and I rejected any books with degenerate themes. I decided to replace these agreements with my previous one. So, I not only masturbated once, but twice afterward.

Of course, I felt really sorry for doing this and I prayed, asking God to forgive my transgressions, for they were urges I could not control. Now, I am really paranoid and I fear how God will react to my words regarding the demon.

Does anyone have anything to say? I would really appreciate it.

 

[Dave_B]

…I allowed Him to send a demon to my house if I started again. I figured the fear of a demon would help me. …

Forgive me for saying this, but this talk of demons sounds a little wacky. btw most of us men struggle with this sin. So you are not the only one.

 

[Jennet]

I think it’s probably best not to make bargains with God when we pray. He will decide what graces or trials to send us, so we should always avoid the “Dear God, if you do X, I promise I will do Y” sort of prayer.

Remember the very prayer our Saviour taught us. “Thy will be done.” “Deliver us from evil.” Let’s refrain therefore from telling Him what should happen to us if we stumble, particularly if it involves suggesting that He send us the very evil we have asked to be delivered from.

I do sympathise with your struggle though and I think giving up unwholesome books and music is a very wise step. It may be that you do stumble again in spite of your resolutions as addictions and besetting sins are so hard to break! … but every time we repent and confess, God is merciful and forgives us. Ask Him for the grace to conquer this sin.

I’m praying for you!

 

[LoyalViews]

Our Lady knows exactly what we need, and when we should need it. We do not make bargains with Him, since he knows infinitely more than any being, he loves us and provides for us.

Yes, he does let the devil tempt us, but we have the glorious sacrament of confession for this. Now, I see your religion is “Anglo-Catholic”. If you’re a Catholic, I suggest you get to confession. Or, if you’re an Anglo-Catholic in the Anglican Church, I suggest you still seek out a priest to help you. Keep up with your prayers.

I don’t know about asking Him to send us a demon either, because wouldn’t Our Lord send an angel to help us and guide us, rather than the Devil’s angel to lead us astray and torture us?

Have you tried to pray the Rosary? Our Blessed Mother is so powerful against the Devil. He shutters and falls at her sight and the sound of her name shakes demons to their bones.

God Bless :byzsoc:

 

[Dorothy]

No we do not ever want to ask for demons!

We have Our Blessed Mother,and angels and saints who are there to assist us.

We can ask them to help us grow in our prayer life with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Good spiritual reading always helps, and good healthy- for- the- spirit recreation.

Keep at a good routine and good habits will be formed, with the help of the grace of God.

 

[LJH_80]

I heard the story of an old hypnotist who was talking about his boyhood.

On days that it snowed (he lived out in the country), he loved to wake up before everyone else, get his things, and walk to school. He would then intentionally walk an incredibly winding and inefficient path.
The next kid, upon waking up, would then have a choice: forge a new trail through deep snow, or follow the bad trail that was already a little trodden down. Usually, this next kid would choose to use the existing path, thereby patting it down more.
By the end of the day, everyone was using the winding path the boy had created because, the more frequently it was followed, the easier it was, compared to making a new path through the snow.

This is also how people work. You’ve been addicted to masturbation for a long time, and that path is beat down very well. Trying to go in any other direction is like being the first person to try and blaze a new trail through the snow: it’s going to be hard. But the more you walk that path, the more you’ll pack down that snow, and the easier it will be to follow the correct path.

To use another walking example: During a 9-mile ruck march, about halfway through, I had a Soldier who was saying he couldn’t make it another 5 miles. I asked him “what about 1 mile? Can you give me one more mile?” Sure enough, he did, but then complained that he knew he wouldn’t be able to do the next 4. “Well what about 1 more step? Can you do that?” “Sure.”
“Well that’s all you need to do: don’t worry about the road ahead, just keep taking one more step, until you can’t even take one step. If you fall down then, nobody will blame you.” Not surprisingly, he finished the march.
How this relates to you is: If your goals are shorter. If you say “I won’t masturbate ever again.” That’s really the same as “I won’t masturbate for 10 minutes.” every 10 minutes.
So if you feel the need to do it, it might help to just try and delay it by a bit and find something else to do. Then 10 minutes later: do the same thing. Eventually, you’ll get distracted by whatever else you’re doing. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it might work for you.