I have failed at life

[ChurchSoldier]

Hi Norm,

I empathize with you. From what you described your life does seem on the loser end of things, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. I don’t know what is causing your difficulties, but I deal with a lot of folks whose lives aren’t going well; and a lot of folks whose lives weren’t going well and they decided to make changes.

We are given an example in scripture (John 5:6) "When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”. As simple as that seems, it is a deep question. He is not asking if the man wants his difficulties or pain to stop, he asks him if he wants to get well.

Most people I run into with difficulties want the pain to stop, but don’t want to heal whatever it is that is causing the pain. Here’s the secret; the pain doesn’t stop until you heal what is causing it. To heal the pain you have to go back and re-visit what caused the wound in the first place. And that pretty much sucks. But like re-setting a fractured bone, to heal properly, you need to go through the pain of re-aligning the bone. We can do that emotionally too.

From your post we know this; that what you are doing is not working. It doesn’t seem to be from a lack of effort, so it probably is from a lack of skill in personal interaction. You might lack skill because you don’t have “the tools in the toolbox”, socially speaking that is. The good news is, you can learn those skills. But it starts with the decision to do what it takes to get well, not just desiring the pain to stop.

Don’t know if this will help. It’s a way longer post than I thought when I began writing. A final thought, Jesus was not lying when he said “come to me all you who labor and are carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest”. We just need to be willing to let him take them.

May God bless you today on your journey.

 

[Econ101]

Just Praying for you.

May the Lord fill your heart with his Love not despair, may you be able to recognize his Son in other’s, and may you be able to unite your sufferings to Christ on the Cross.

God Bless

 

[hazcompat]

Another glib response. I don’t want to be successful for me. I have to be successful because I have to take care of my father and my grandmother. I seek no fame, no power, no luxury. I merely need $$ to take care of my family.

St. Claude de la Columbiere

…
'Let me show you a good way to ask for happiness even in this world. It is a way that will oblige God to listen to you. Say to him earnestly: Either give me so much money that my heart will be satisfied, or inspire me with such contempt for it that I no longer want it. Either free me from poverty, or make it so pleasant for me that I would not exchange it for all the wealth in the world. Either take away my suffering, or – which would be to your greater glory – change it into delight for me, and instead of causing me affliction, let it become a source of joy. You can take away the burden of my cross, or you can leave it with me without my feeling its weight. You can extinguish the fire that burns me, or you can let it burn in such a way that it refreshes me as it did the three youths in the fiery furnace.

I ask you for either one thing or the other. What does it matter in what way I am happy? If I am happy through the possession of worldly goods, it is you I have to thank. If I am happy when deprived of them, it gives you greater glory and my thanks are all the greater. This is the kind of prayer worthy of being offered to God by a true Christian.

When you pray in this way, do you know what the effect of your prayers will be?
First, you will be satisfied whatever happens; and what else do those who most desire this
world’s goods want except to be satisfied? Secondly, you will not only obtain without fail one of the two things you have asked for but, as a rule, you will obtain both of them. God will give you the enjoyment of wealth, and so that you may possess it without the danger of becoming attached to it, He will inspire you at the same time with contempt for it. He will put an end to your sufferings and even more He will leave you with a desire for them which will give you all the merit of patience without having to suffer. In a word He will make you happy here and now, and lest your happiness should do you harm, He will let you know and feel the emptiness of it. Can one ask for anything better?

But if such a great blessing is well worth being asked for, remember that still more is it worth being asked for with insistence. For the reason why we obtain little is not only because we ask for little but still more because, whether we ask a little or we ask a lot, we do not ask often enough.’

Peace

I’m surmising you’ve never been in that position. And if you have, then maybe you can identify.

 

[hazcompat]

Another glib response. I don’t want to be successful for me. I have to be successful because I have to take care of my father and my grandmother. I seek no fame, no power, no luxury. I merely need $$ to take care of my family.

I’m surmising you’ve never been in that position. And if you have, then maybe you can identify.

St. Claude de la Columbiere

…
'Let me show you a good way to ask for happiness even in this world. It is a way that will oblige God to listen to you. Say to him earnestly: Either give me so much money that my heart will be satisfied, or inspire me with such contempt for it that I no longer want it. Either free me from poverty, or make it so pleasant for me that I would not exchange it for all the wealth in the world. Either take away my suffering, or – which would be to your greater glory – change it into delight for me, and instead of causing me affliction, let it become a source of joy. You can take away the burden of my cross, or you can leave it with me without my feeling its weight. You can extinguish the fire that burns me, or you can let it burn in such a way that it refreshes me as it did the three youths in the fiery furnace.

I ask you for either one thing or the other. What does it matter in what way I am happy? If I am happy through the possession of worldly goods, it is you I have to thank. If I am happy when deprived of them, it gives you greater glory and my thanks are all the greater. This is the kind of prayer worthy of being offered to God by a true Christian.

When you pray in this way, do you know what the effect of your prayers will be?
First, you will be satisfied whatever happens; and what else do those who most desire this
world’s goods want except to be satisfied? Secondly, you will not only obtain without fail one of the two things you have asked for but, as a rule, you will obtain both of them. God will give you the enjoyment of wealth, and so that you may possess it without the danger of becoming attached to it, He will inspire you at the same time with contempt for it. He will put an end to your sufferings and even more He will leave you with a desire for them which will give you all the merit of patience without having to suffer. In a word He will make you happy here and now, and lest your happiness should do you harm, He will let you know and feel the emptiness of it. Can one ask for anything better?

But if such a great blessing is well worth being asked for, remember that still more is it worth being asked for with insistence. For the reason why we obtain little is not only because we ask for little but still more because, whether we ask a little or we ask a lot, we do not ask often enough.’

Peace

 

[djeter]

Another glib response.

This has been staring me in the face long enough. You really are a judgmental little prick (pardon my French) but this strikes me as the poison in your system. You judge others the way you feel you are being judged. Thing is that you probably aren’t being judged in any way like that. There is only one Judgement Day you need to be concerned about and it is not here on earth.

Everyone who has been touched by your plaintive cry here, whether superficial in their advice or not, spent time reaching out to you, only to be slapped down by your "Another glib response. “You’re the one who is being glib, you -------.”

Pathetic.

dj

 

[Norm640]

See what you did there DJeter? You spoke from the heart. I’d rather have you speak from your heart, even if to call me a prick, than offer nonsense.

This is who you really are, which is what you accused me of being. That’s called “projection”.

But you weren’t glib!

This has been staring me in the face long enough. You really are a judgmental little prick (pardon my French) but this strikes me as the poison in your system. You judge others the way you feel you are being judged. Thing is that you probably aren’t being judged in any way like that. There is only one Judgement Day you need to be concerned about and it is not here on earth.

Everyone who has been touched by your plaintive cry here, whether superficial in their advice or not, spent time reaching out to you, only to be slapped down by your "Another glib response. “You’re the one who is being glib, you -------.”

Pathetic.

dj

 

[djeter]

See what you did there DJeter? You spoke from the heart. I’d rather have you speak from your heart, even if to call me a prick, than offer nonsense.

This is who you really are, which is what you accused me of being. That’s called “projection”.

But you weren’t glib!

So you make a desperate post, various folks log on and empathize, give you advice, speak about their faith which you pronounce as either glibness or nonsense. How wonderful to be at the center of all that concern and then to offer your judgements.

I think everyone spoke from the heart here, particularly those who shared their thinking on theology or faith. I really fail to see how any of that could be labelled nonsense. I think you are overly sensitive to criticism because I don’t see any criticism in any of it. The only thing I did was recommend a movie (Don Jon) for you to see a real “loser.” Did you really read what I posted?

I empathized with you, having felt and feel the way you do. Then I called you a little prick (for obvious reasons). Yes, I am a prick also but I wasn’t projecting anything on to you, unless you think it takes one to know one. Oh – and I told you not to hit on girls while they are working out – kind of a dating 101 thing.

You might enjoy this reflection on modern love which we are all, in one way or another seeking.

Anyway, you little prick, I am still of the opinion you don’t deserve a scintilla of the concern you’ve generated here. But you strike me as a decent sort but perhaps you are not even Catholic.

You have been the object of great generosity. You may not agree with all that folks passed on to you but I followed the thread because I found it fascinating how you had provoked all these responses. But your adolescent sneers chilled the whole thing for me. If I were the moderator I would shut your little — down and close the thread. You’re not worth it. Come back when you’ve learned a little humility.

You have kind of ruined the whole thing. I feel sorry for the three pages of folks who responded to you unaware of what a sneering little weasel 20-something waited to slam their posts as “glib” or “nonsense.”

I think the game is up for you now. Last one here turn out the lights. ciao…

dj