A
Angelshark8
Guest
This year has been a hard year for me (2013-2014). This is my last year of high school and I can feel myself unraveling. I seem to have lost a lot of trust in myself and now I have no confidence in really doing anything. I guess I will tell you where it all comes from.
May 2013: My parents told me to release my pet stick insects. I said I could not because it is illegal, but they told me I found them in the wild so I could. I told them they are a pest species. They had been killing many of my hobbies (e.g. hermit crabs, goldfish), and had been attacking me as a person. I am a bit odd, but I am a good person so I held my ground. They said I could have them as pets and I had the thought in my mind they might try to get rid of them later as well, but I thought that was a silly notion. I was sadly mistaken. They crushed my “denial” and I became self conscious about talking about things I like to do with them. I am never willing to tell them anything about any problems I feel I . I am now scared to talk about myself to any of my family members.
September 2012-December 2013: I have always tried my hardest at everything in my life. In junior year, however, it became too much. Because I increase the level of quality by multiplying rather than adding, the more professional the assignment, the slower I become. I began to realize I needed to change in sophomore year, but I am always hopeful. Every night I would come home and do my homework thinking “today I will finish” and I never did. I tried to gauge my quality to an average level, but it was extremely difficult and I still worked a high quality.
December 2013: I wrote an essay for my Economics final. My level of quality had apparently been reduced to an unhealthy panic reflex, because when I added the page numbers, it was 30 pages. I hated what I had done because it was excessive, but I turned it in anyway. And, of course, the teacher came to me when we resumed classes. He told me I needed to reduce its length and gave me an extension to work on it. I still feel terrible for doing something so wrong and the very day he came to me, I knew I could not reduce quality on my own. I began to see my teachers and ask them about the quality of everything applicable. I feel really bad because those are not normal people questions, but I am not a normal person (I had trouble with language when I was younger and was with my school’s resource room until grade 5). Today, I have no gauge of quality and I am extremely reliant on my teacher’s feedback for proper scaling. I feel so dependent on them because I cannot gauge on my own. I love quality, but I lack the time for that with so much homework. My parents do not know that I get help gauging from my teachers because I do not trust them with personal stuff.
February 2014: I am a bit distant from other people because I have been pretty self conscious about myself since I oppened to my peers in grade 10. I had friends, but never actually allowed myself to get close to them because I did not trust my language skills. I was a mess when I decided to let the know and I gradually grew up. This year, I discovered that I have a divided personality over how social I should be. I am pretty desperate for social time because I really want to express myself to people, but I also do not want to go too far because I have limits. I want to actually start seeing people outside of school and I had asked them for their phone numbers with the intention of actually calling them the summer after grade 11, but I got too scared and never did. I feel bad about that and I was thinking of trying again. I have been socially alone beyond school for so long, I do not care anymore, so I asked on another forum if it would be better to try or just keep my distance until we all graduate. I thought I described my situation pretty well and asked. I waited three days and just before the question was going to close, I got a single answer. I anticipated a response. And what I saw was “I was going to respond, but it looks like you are quite rude by your extended comments.”. And this same person is apparently very nice and helpful to people’s social delimmas, so I really ticked her off. That was pretty much it for me. It told me that I obviously could not handle communicating with people because I come off wrong. I asked a single question on this forum on another topic on one occasion and I apparently asked it all wrong because everyone thought I was acting crazy. I knew I was not trying to be rude and I am not crazy, but I am pretty much alone to myself. Those two pretty much destroyed a lot of confidence in myself for a better social life. I say many things wrong and I was able to shrug it off, but not I know I am truly along. I do not even know if I am asking this right.
May 2013: My parents told me to release my pet stick insects. I said I could not because it is illegal, but they told me I found them in the wild so I could. I told them they are a pest species. They had been killing many of my hobbies (e.g. hermit crabs, goldfish), and had been attacking me as a person. I am a bit odd, but I am a good person so I held my ground. They said I could have them as pets and I had the thought in my mind they might try to get rid of them later as well, but I thought that was a silly notion. I was sadly mistaken. They crushed my “denial” and I became self conscious about talking about things I like to do with them. I am never willing to tell them anything about any problems I feel I . I am now scared to talk about myself to any of my family members.
September 2012-December 2013: I have always tried my hardest at everything in my life. In junior year, however, it became too much. Because I increase the level of quality by multiplying rather than adding, the more professional the assignment, the slower I become. I began to realize I needed to change in sophomore year, but I am always hopeful. Every night I would come home and do my homework thinking “today I will finish” and I never did. I tried to gauge my quality to an average level, but it was extremely difficult and I still worked a high quality.
December 2013: I wrote an essay for my Economics final. My level of quality had apparently been reduced to an unhealthy panic reflex, because when I added the page numbers, it was 30 pages. I hated what I had done because it was excessive, but I turned it in anyway. And, of course, the teacher came to me when we resumed classes. He told me I needed to reduce its length and gave me an extension to work on it. I still feel terrible for doing something so wrong and the very day he came to me, I knew I could not reduce quality on my own. I began to see my teachers and ask them about the quality of everything applicable. I feel really bad because those are not normal people questions, but I am not a normal person (I had trouble with language when I was younger and was with my school’s resource room until grade 5). Today, I have no gauge of quality and I am extremely reliant on my teacher’s feedback for proper scaling. I feel so dependent on them because I cannot gauge on my own. I love quality, but I lack the time for that with so much homework. My parents do not know that I get help gauging from my teachers because I do not trust them with personal stuff.
February 2014: I am a bit distant from other people because I have been pretty self conscious about myself since I oppened to my peers in grade 10. I had friends, but never actually allowed myself to get close to them because I did not trust my language skills. I was a mess when I decided to let the know and I gradually grew up. This year, I discovered that I have a divided personality over how social I should be. I am pretty desperate for social time because I really want to express myself to people, but I also do not want to go too far because I have limits. I want to actually start seeing people outside of school and I had asked them for their phone numbers with the intention of actually calling them the summer after grade 11, but I got too scared and never did. I feel bad about that and I was thinking of trying again. I have been socially alone beyond school for so long, I do not care anymore, so I asked on another forum if it would be better to try or just keep my distance until we all graduate. I thought I described my situation pretty well and asked. I waited three days and just before the question was going to close, I got a single answer. I anticipated a response. And what I saw was “I was going to respond, but it looks like you are quite rude by your extended comments.”. And this same person is apparently very nice and helpful to people’s social delimmas, so I really ticked her off. That was pretty much it for me. It told me that I obviously could not handle communicating with people because I come off wrong. I asked a single question on this forum on another topic on one occasion and I apparently asked it all wrong because everyone thought I was acting crazy. I knew I was not trying to be rude and I am not crazy, but I am pretty much alone to myself. Those two pretty much destroyed a lot of confidence in myself for a better social life. I say many things wrong and I was able to shrug it off, but not I know I am truly along. I do not even know if I am asking this right.
) and my parents were not happy with these pets. Here are my thoughts about your stick insects (I’ve never heard of these but they sound interesting):