I have lost my faith.

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pax_tecum_filum

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That is all. Simple, I suppose. But, it’s gone.

I believe in evil, but I no longer believe in a loving God.
 
M’y sister has suffered similarly, after her divorce. Her parents also think that she has similar problems as your parent(s) feel about you. My sister goes to a program for divorced, in the catholic church, as well as all of the retreats offered. I thought that because she worked at walmart that she would be somewhat outclassed when she was with the detroit group, but she went there as well. For the first few years before her annullment, she dated quite a bit. She is resentful of me, who lives with the folks. It has been so bad that I thought she was possessed. Your parents, while they may not understand why you need the religious aspect, probably want to steer you in the direction of financial stability. Dad happened to have a rental for her, at a discounted rate, and can get a loan from him. She is still bitter towards me, but her maniac outbursts … Have lessened considerably. She also has two sons, but, at first they hardly factored in … Divorce for her was a considerable me time. I’m having trouble with her understanding and seeming competitiveness with religion, so, I just suffer with her judgements and tempers. So, if you have a sister, leave her alone! Ithink that my sister also has given up her faith, and believes in the evil. Keep attending opportunities to grow and heal, and perhaps you will find some measure of happiness. My sister’s husband remarried, and my sister refused a man who had the financial means to give her what she desired in that way. So, open your heart, more than she did! He even made her feel quite happy and herself, but some old devil that had a hold of her made her afraid!
 
pax_tecum_filum said:
That is all. Simple, I suppose. But, it’s gone.

I believe in evil, but I no longer believe in a loving God.
Click to expand...
Hold on to hope. Dispair is of the devil.

Aridity is not something uncommon among the saints. Many found themselves in similar situations. Continue to pray. Pray for faith and for belief. Pray for strength not to give into this temptation to dispair.
All of the Church prays with you.

Peace
James
 
pax_tecum_filum said:
That is all. Simple, I suppose. But, it’s gone.

I believe in evil, but I no longer believe in a loving God.
Click to expand...
You are experiencing a [Dark Night of the Soul.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark Night of the Soul)

These can be pretty desperate experiences and it’s normal to have thoughts of having been abandoned by God. What is important is that you do not entertain these thoughts. They will lead to more desperation and ultimately to selfishness and evil.

You will recover in time. I will pray for you.
 
Prayers for you - for compassion and strength.

I’ve been through a few difficult life situations. I’m a better person today, because of the tests. I’m stronger yet I’m also more resilent. I know that pain filled tests are intended to test my connection and my reliance on God. I learned to become a willing servant to what God needed me to learn and do.

Difficult tests somethings hurt. Time will provide you a different perspective from how your pain feels today.

I don’t have an eternal body, but God did give me an eternal soul.

There are many many pain filled aspects of being human.
 
P.S. Put your application in with several hiring agencies (no cost to you). If you have a good work record, they will take a chance on you and put you to work on whatever is available. In that way, you can scout around while at work and find out what your interests are.

Sorry about the marital problems, but those you can overcome.

Keep your connection to our loving and living Lord, He will heal you - if that is what you ask Him to do.
 
I’ve felt what you feel and now after allowing God to speak to me and allowing myself to listen I love Him with all of my heart. Only you can find your faith again. I hope that you do. Life without God is lonely and hard and unhappy. Life with God is joyful and peaceful and full of love.

If you feel that you don’t have the energy or the inclination to pray now, I’m happy to pray for you and remember you in my rosary.

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

I hope that you find God again. In the meantime, may He always protect you and be with you,

Clare
 
Barbkw said:
Prayers for you - for compassion and strength.

I’ve been through a few difficult life situations. I’m a better person today, because of the tests. I’m stronger yet I’m also more resilent. I know that pain filled tests are intended to test my connection and my reliance on God. I learned to become a willing servant to what God needed me to learn and do.

Difficult tests somethings hurt. Time will provide you a different perspective from how your pain feels today.

I don’t have an eternal body, but God did give me an eternal soul.

There are many many pain filled aspects of being human.
Click to expand...
I am willing to acknowledge that pain is a part of being human. What I would like is some respite from that pain.

I grew up in an emotionally abusive household. Was sexually abused by someone as a child. Had no safe place ever. When your homelife is unpredictable, there is no safe place. I am divorced. I had a fiance who promised me a future with a child–I’ve wanted a child for a long, long time and my ex-husband would not have a child with me. I never wanted to be that kind of woman who would leave, but I guess, I am. I have lost my job and have been on the market since last November or so. I have some promising job possibilities, but we’ll see how they shake out.

I’m 39 years old and because of my mother’s recent bit of emotional and psychological violence, have had to cut both of my parents out of my life. Not something I ever wanted.

Let me run that down:
Psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse
Failed marriage
Failed relationship that was promising (and the failure came out of nowhere–we were, I thought, very happy together.)
No job
No place to live that is my own (sleeping on ex’s sofa which comes with it’s own problems for both of us.)
Ex is drinking again and who knows for how long. (I may have left, but I never stopped caring for him–alcoholism will kill him.)
Dwindling bank account
No future for a relationship or children.
Demonic attacks

I have been praying faithfully my whole life. I was not necessarily the best Catholic, but I loved Jesus and I loved God and I prayed. I never lost my faith, even through all the abuse. But, I’ve just hit my limit.

I prayed rosaries, novenas, attended eucharistic adoration, confessed my sins–even doing a general confession–, I’ve been prayed over, worked (and am still working) on a Holy cause, and prayed, prayed, prayed. And there is no evidence of Jesus in my life. I have no comfort, even. I feel nothing when I pray. I feel like I have no help. I feel there is no mercy. This suffering, not just the end of my marriage, not just the end of my relationship, not just my financial/job predicament, not just the abuse, but the fact that I likely have no future for motherhood at this point, really, really pains me. I did not sign up for this. I have tried to give myself over to God’s will, but I have yet to do much else but suffer to varying degrees.

I do appreciate all the offers for prayers, but I no longer have faith that they’re heard. Perhaps other people’s prayers truck with God, but mine certainly don’t.

I not only feel abandoned by my family, and my former boyfriend, but also by God. All I’ve wanted my whole life is to be loved and it seems I’m undeserving of that love. And the one time I believed I had it, it was swiftly and inexplicably taken from me.

I am very angry with God, if there even is a God. I remain unconvinced.

And yes, I guess in this regard, the demonic has won. At least for now. Does God care enough to save my faith? Time will tell, I guess. I hope so. This is not a state I enjoy.
 
O Silent God

Our God, we pray to You for others and ourselves, and sometimes it seems, if only for a time, a time of awful pain and loneliness, that no one is listening, that You are not there.

Many have turned away, disappointed and bitter, that You have not answered their urgent prayer, their painful need for self and for others. There is no satisfactory human answer to their challenge, whatever one might say of Your ways, Your time, because their anguish or their anger is the reality they experience.

Dear God, You need no reminder, but my humanness leads me to remind You that we are human in our minds and hearts and bodies. We have little or no actual sense or knowledge of ourselves as spirit. If You seem not to touch us as human beings living in a physical world that we acutely experience, then some of us falter in faith and hope. I pray for them with all my heart and life.

O silent God let us hear Your voice in the words of others, and let us be Your love spoken to them. Yet may I ask that You also speak directly to their hearts and minds with unmistakeable Love even where we cannot detect the action of Your Spirit in ourselves or in others. Speak to them in their last moments, if not before.

Please be mindful of our needs, and nurture us as we pray and seek Your healing and care. Embrace all who have lost their hope in God and prayer.
 
Eternal God, when my spirit has burned to ashes, ground to dust with a boulder of mute and heavy sorrow, please give me trust in Your personal love for me.

When mine, or others’ mistakes or uncaring or abuse have wounded and savaged my heart, where are You to restore what is injured even when I plead for Your intervention and strive to heal the damage? And yet, though You seem absent, I still humbly cry out for Your mercy and healing.

When my efforts leave me helpless with no path left to try, please comfort me and show me a new path.

When others undermine with repeated assaults and short-circuit my resolve, send wise friends to comfort and support me. For no sooner has one problem and heartache eased or resolved than another, equally painful, arises for another or myself.

I seek You but sometimes am left to feel You are heartlessly steeled against me and my life becomes a flat salt desert. Please help me to trust in You even then, when trust no longer seems possible.

My heart cries out repeatedly, groping in the helplessness of fears, disappointments and grief that words cannot convey; screaming in the silence of my brain. Is my only comfort, some day, death?

Yet still I call on You and place my tatters of faith in You.
 
I am sorry you are in a dark place. However I don’t believe God saves your faith. You have your own free will to believe and trust in what you want. Such is the reason for the Fall of Man.

Even if you feel nothing in your prayers keep saying them. What will it hurt? Perhaps you see it as a waste of time, but really, it’s only a couple minutes, why not?

Trust me, I’ve been in a dark place before as well. But I’ve found over time that it works best to focus on whatever good I can find. Take it one step at a time. Feel like you have nothing good? Look harder, and don’t be so harsh on yourself.

God be with you, I will pray for you even if you don’t think it will help. 🙂
 
If you believe in Evil why not in Good, through Christ, the Messiah, and in Hebrew it is Yeshua (Saviour) which is his name, and also Messiah, would be Ha’Mashiach the anointed one of God. Therefore if you believe in Evil why not in Good? God is good don’t let demons distract you, you may have sinned, and what needs to be done if repentance and confess to our Father, God. He will hear your confession’s. And if you repent he shall show you mercy, the law is also important to keep for he blesses those who try not to transgress against it. If you do it purposely your a worker of Iniquity and he will tell you, Depart from me you worker of iniquity I never knew you, and into the everlasting fire you go. So repent for Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is at hand, But I tell you its at the door. Get into a relationship with Jesus. Do not let the enemy have dominion over you.

For what did God say to Cain?
Genesis 4:7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

So do not give up the fight of the good faith.
Timothy 6:12
12)Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Also what did David say?
Psalm 40:1
1)I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.

So remain strong ask him for strength, and he will hold you with the righteous hand of his righteousness.

Isaiah 41:13
13)For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
 
Dear one - Thank you for “running down” your troubles.
I know that there is little or nothing that we, here can really do excpet maybe try to be here, and be your friends.
You probably have heard or read the “footprints” poem, the one that ends:
…The Lord replied,
“The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you.”

Now I know that you are not “believing” in God right now, but perhaps, just perhaps, you’ll let the good people here who DO believe and DO have faith, carry you in God’s place.
Pour out your heart dear one and be assured that someone here will answer and perhaps, just perhaps, the light of your heart and the light of your life and the light of your faith will begin to grow again.

Peace
James
 
Most Catholic Social Services chapters operate housing for women that are in your exact situation. Look them up in the phonebook, or call your diocesan chancery.

Now is the time to take advantage of the Church’s resources, not to leave her behind to be even more alone.
 
Holy Mother Mary we pray

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Holy Mother Mary we pray

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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