I have some questions

[chasingcars]

I’ll be received into the Church in 10 days and I’d like to ask you guys some questions about living as a Catholic in today’s world. I’ve got some really great answers to my previous questions from here and this forum has helped me a lot during my journey

1. If you get married and years later your spouse decides to leave and starts living with someone else and an annulment isn’t granted, how can you live as a single for the rest of your (or your spouse’s) life? Especially of you don’t have any children? How common is it and are there any websites, blogs etc. about this issue?
2. Is it ok for an unmarried woman to adopt a child and raise them alone?
3. What is a Catholic parent supposed to do if their teenage daughter gets pregnant and plans to have an abortion?
4. What is a Catholic parent supposed to do if their daughter or son turns out to be homosexual, starts to have premarital sex, quits going to Masses or decides to leave the Church?
5. Do you have any tips for me how to continue after being received into the Church?

 

[TheDoctor]

1. If you get married and years later your spouse decides to leave and starts living with someone else and an annulment isn’t granted, how can you live as a single for the rest of your (or your spouse’s) life? Especially of you don’t have any children? How common is it and are there any websites, blogs etc. about this issue?

With prayer (for yourself, your wife and the man she is pretending to be married to) and the grace of God. I do not know how common it is however as a married man, I would see this as a great daily cross to bear.

1. Is it ok for an unmarried woman to adopt a child and raise them alone?

I do not know for certain, however my guess is yes. The church sees a married heterosexual couple as best to raise a child, however I don’t think there is a formal prohibition against a single person adopting.

1. What is a Catholic parent supposed to do if their teenage daughter gets pregnant and plans to have an abortion?

Counsel them. Pray for them. Love them. Be there for them when they realize they need to make things right with God.

1. What is a Catholic parent supposed to do if their daughter or son turns out to be homosexual, starts to have premarital sex, quits going to Masses or decides to leave the Church?

Counsel them. Pray for them. Love them. Be there for them when they realize they need to make things right with God.

1. Do you have any tips for me how to continue after being received into the Church?

Sunday Mass with frequent reception of the Eucharist. Regular Confession. Daily prayer. Journeying with those with the same faith. Continuous education (join a ministry at Church, log onto Catholic Answers, do a Catholic Bible Study, etc.)

I will keep you in my prayers. Welcome Home!

 

[Joe_5859]

I think The Doctor gave some great answers. I’ll just add to #2 that I know of at least one Catholic foster care agency that would place foster kids with either a married couple or a single person. They would not place children with cohabitating couples or homosexual couples. If there was some sore of blanket condemnation on single people adopting children, I would assume they would not have placed foster children in such environments.

That said, it is not the ideal. The ideal is for children to have both a mother and a father. But sometimes the ideal isn’t possible for a variety of reasons.

I will pray for you as you come into the Catholic Church!

 

[Mary_Estelle]

I think you probably know the answer and or teachings of most of these questions and are overly worried or anxious as you step into the “unknown.” There is a Bible passage that says in part “Let not your heart be worried.” Your Religious Instructor should be able to help you with the questions that may never happen or at least are far off in the future. One thing that I will mention is that a zillion women have raise children without help and did very well by tem and in the church. Nuns-single women- raise children in orphanages all the time and as far as I know the Pope doesn’t raise an eyebrow against that. I kind of think he approves! A loving, single mother is far better than no mother…right? By the way, my mother raised 11 of us and I’ll bet more than once she probably wished a single women would have come along and adopted us…or all of us…or even one of us! While she wasn’t a single mother my father was a farmer and worked from dawn to dusk and often far into the night. Good grief! I think all good mothers are saintly, married or single.

 

[EasterJoy]

These questions point to a lot of worries. The first answer I’d give is the Lord’s advice about the things that worry:
*Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil. *Matt. 6:34 Whatever happens, that is the main thing to concentrate on. Cultivate relationships in which you can get discrete and reliable advice as you seek to strengthen your relationship to God and your ability to follow God’s will faithfully.

If you consider getting married, then, do not spend your time *worrying *about whether your spouse will leave. Do your best to marry someone who loves God and shares your understanding about God’s plan for marriage. Do your best to choose someone who loves you and that you can love even on the days when you are not particularly likable. Choose someone you believe understands fidelity and believes in it without reservation. After you marry, work to be a good spouse to him.

If you marry and your marriage meets with some grave outcome that seems as if it could lead to a separation, do not jump ahead to how you are going to manage alone for the rest of your life if your attempt at marriage is not found to be invalid. Find yourself strong support and a reliable source of advice, aim to be faithful to God in whatever you do, and take each day one at a time.

If you find yourself living in a situation where you are unmarried and not likely to get married for whatever reason, do your discernment then about whether you might still have a call to love and care for a child by yourself.

If God gives you the blessing of children, work to have a relationship with your children that allows them to both rely on you for good counsel and to trust you to respect those choices in life that are theirs alone to make. When your son or daughter faces hard choices or seems to be departing from the way they learned when you taught them the faith, consider at that time, when the entire situation reveals itself, how you can best handle it.

 

[JohnR77]

Welcome Home into God’s adoptive Family, His Church.

In regards to a daughter who wants to get an abortion, I suggest helping her consider whether an abortion really solves hers problems ? Or Does it create new and even worse problems. One woman who had an abortion sorrowfully expressed her plight with the comment that a pregnant woman carries a child for nine months. An abortive mother carries her child for the rest of her life.

On another thread you asked about help defending or explaining some moral issues of the Church. Please watch the testimony of Leah Darrow. It is very informative and interesting and quite helpful to everyone.

youtube.com/watch?v=78pQoOsHSaI

youtube.com/watch?v=KmQh0mkI7yc

youtube.com/watch?v=VcGn1JnHA0M

John