I have thanatophobia and it makes me doubt god?

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I don’t know what to do because I go through phases where I’m filled with so much faith and a desire to serve God, and then when I start to think about death I start to take a panic attack i get so afraid that God, isn’t real and there will be nothingness after I die just blackness it gives me severe anxiety, I only get like this when I think about death I don’t wanna think about it why would God, want me to feel this way why won’t he fix me I always ask him to take this fear away from me,
 
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When I have felt like that before sometimes I think about/read this comforting prayer meant to be read as someone is dying:
I commend you, my dear brother (sister),
to almighty God
and entrust you to your Creator.
May you return to him
who formed you from the dust of the earth.
May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints
come to meet you as you go forth from this life.
May Christ, who was crucified for you,
bring you freedom and peace.
May Christ, who died for you,
admit you into his garden of paradise.
May Christ, the true Shepherd,
acknowledge you as one of his flock.
May he forgive all your sins
and set you among those he has chosen.
May you see your Redeemer face to face
and enjoy the vision of God for ever.
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Answer is - God doesn’t want you to feel that way. satan does. It is his attempt to draw you away from God.

Don’t think about it if it gives you so much anxiety that it causes a panic attack. Also I think if it’s that bad, perhaps anti-anxiety medication may help, or is the Faith the only area anxiety affects?

God’s grace is sufficient for you. Your part is to turn your thoughts away at the first moment that you realize your thoughts are going along this path, instead of giving into them and dwelling on them.

Perhaps praying an act of Faith and Hope at these moments would be helpful.

God does His part, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to do yours.
 
I really think you should get some counseling for your worries Rosie.

I’m sorry you’re struggling.
 
I have, but nothing anyone can say changes the way I feel about death, maybe it’s because my mother died in front of my eyes?I know only God can help me but why won’t he? When I get a panic attack for some reason, even though I’m doubting god at the time, I cry and tell him I’m sorry for every wrong thing I’ve done and beg him to take it away from me, I’m almost 20 and I don’t want to die before I can make up for my sins if there is heaven I want to go there.
 
It affects my faith as well as my life I usually don’t leave the house for days afterwards, how can I stop the devil from doing this to me I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I haven’t had a panic attack in months but after seeing on the news about a 16 year old girl who was hit by a train while crossing the tracks trying to take a shortcut home and it triggered it.
 
Rosie11 said:
It affects my faith as well as my life I usually don’t leave the house for days afterwards,
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That indicates to me that it is more of a psychological issue. If it was only affecting your thoughts/belief in there being a God and a heaven after you die, then I’d think that’d be more of satan tempting you and trying to undermine your Faith. Whilst this may be a part of it, that fact that you say it affects your life, so badly that you don’t leave the house for days ??? Seems like severe general anxiety issues. And this is where medication and counselling can help in general in reducing these episodes and once these levels are reduced, you’ll have the mental strength to turn your mind away from those thoughts.

Another thing to consider is also obsessive compulsive disorder which is not just about compulsively washing hands, or compulsively cleaning etc, but can also include obsessively thinking about matters and not being able to let go of them, as the mind just keeps going in circles on the subject.
Rosie11 said:
I haven’t had a panic attack in months but after seeing on the news about a 16 year old girl who was hit by a train while crossing the tracks trying to take a shortcut home and it triggered it.
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Then perhaps stop watching the news for a while, or when those stories come up, switch channels if they are a trigger for you.

I think you honestly need medical help with these issues, in understanding them, in strategies in overcoming them or at least dealing with them and medication can be a significant help in all this. Go and see your doctor. And pray Acts of Faith and Hope, pray for an increase of Faith too to help in the spiritual side of matters.

Getting the overall underlying issues treated will help with your ability in dealing with the effects that this has on your Faith life too.

ETA - God helps those who help themselves.
 
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Rosie11 said:
I don’t know what to do because I go through phases where I’m filled with so much faith and a desire to serve God, and then when I start to think about death I start to take a panic attack i get so afraid that God, isn’t real and there will be nothingness after I die just blackness it gives me severe anxiety, I only get like this when I think about death I don’t wanna think about it why would God, want me to feel this way why won’t he fix me I always ask him to take this fear away from me,
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That’s actually kind of normal.

Read the lives of the Saints, and you’ll find many had their ups and downs.

Saint Ignatius talks about how to level consolations and desolations in his 14 Rules for Discernment:

scepterpublishers.org

14 Rules for the Discernment of Spirits by St. Ignatius of Loyola

Rules for becoming aware and understanding to some extent the different movements which are caused in the soul, the good, to receive them, and the bad to reject them.
scepterpublishers.org scepterpublishers.org

The only other thing I can think of to suggest would be finding a good Spiritual Director and/or Pastoral Counselor… depending on whether the issue is moral or psychological…
 
I have seen a doctor he gave me medication to take but nothing really works on me
 
Then you need to go back and state this. Sometimes for various reasons, it can be a trial and error regarding medication and dosages, until finding the right therapy that works for that individual.
 
On second thought… you’re saying you’re afraid of dying…

I dont know if that’s really the same thing as doubting God, or having consolations/desolations… In other words, you could be (at least in some ways) comparing apples and oranges… so no need to doubt God because you’re afraid to die…

And who isnt right afraid to die? Thats a survival instinct…

On the other hand, if you obsess over it, then… that sounds probably more like a psychological thing…
 
But I just feel it in my heart that it’s spiritual not psychological
 
From what you’ve typed that is not the impression I got - if it was solely spiritual, it would not affect other areas of your life e.g. watching that news story for example.

But if it is as you say, then frequenting the sacraments and prayer will help. God sometimes sends or permits trials for His reasons. Our response is to pick up and carry our cross and everyones’ cross is different.

I just hope you are not trying to deal with this with one hand tied behind your back - because if so, then defeat is likely. We should use all the helps we have available to us.
 
Don’t worry, your feelings don’t effect the static Truth. God permits us to go through trials like this to test our trust in Him. In an hour you could have the consolation you are wanting, but don’t expect it to come according to your own timing, the longer you go through this, with full trust in God, the more glory will be brought to Him, and the more merit will be gained by you.

One thing that really helps me, when doubt plagues my mind is the Saints and Apparitions of Our Lady. We don’t need proof, but He lovingly gives us many signs of His existence. Would all the Saints that have had mystical experiences really lie, like Saint Padre Pio, or Saint Therese who saw Mary. They were more devout than we are, and they wouldn’t be likely people to lie about having such experiences. Look at the miracles at Fatima and Lourdes. Incorruptible Saints.

Pray the Rosary daily for the salvation of all. May God watch over you, and Mary keep you. 🙂
 
The faith you speak of should fix you, that’s what it’s for. Part of the faith we have in the Christian God has everything to do with the next life, and demonstrating it via the resurrection.
 
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