I keep feeling anger towards God

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I don’t want to. But during mass today, I couldn’t even try to want to pay attention (does this even make any sense)

Usually I can still pray but I can’t even get myself to pray nowadays. And when I do, I’m better off not praying (basically I’m being extremely rude to him). I feel as if he has let me down. And now I’m doing the same to him.

Ugh. A priest from my church once said that it was okay to be angry at God and he doesn’t mind you venting towards him. But I’m feeling like he is just rubbing his hands together and is waiting to throw me into hell right now. Lol.

Is this normal?
 
I don’t want to. But during mass today, I couldn’t even try to want to pay attention (does this even make any sense)

Usually I can still pray but I can’t even get myself to pray nowadays. And when I do, I’m better off not praying (basically I’m being extremely rude to him). I feel as if he has let me down. And now I’m doing the same to him.

Ugh. A priest from my church once said that it was okay to be angry at God and he doesn’t mind you venting towards him. But I’m feeling like he is just rubbing his hands together and is waiting to throw me into hell right now. Lol.

Is this normal?
I remember a priest at a retreat day explaining that if you are angry at God, then go before Him and explain, respectfully, why you are angry. Then, quietly listen to Him. A lot of the Psalms are written that way.

We are weak and can have such feelings, but deep down we know that the Lord has done far more for us than we can imagine. Our loving God is never at fault.

In Jesus and Mary,

Dorothy
 
I don’t want to. But during mass today, I couldn’t even try to want to pay attention (does this even make any sense)

Usually I can still pray but I can’t even get myself to pray nowadays. And when I do, I’m better off not praying (basically I’m being extremely rude to him). I feel as if he has let me down. And now I’m doing the same to him.

Ugh. A priest from my church once said that it was okay to be angry at God and he doesn’t mind you venting towards him. But I’m feeling like he is just rubbing his hands together and is waiting to throw me into hell right now. Lol.

Is this normal?
In what way “let you down” ?

And if you aim to let Him down you are really only letting yourself down…
 
I found that it’s much more difficult to murmur against God when in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Dorothy’s answer seems very good
 
In what way “let you down” ?

And if you aim to let Him down you are really only letting yourself down…
Certain issues (that are beyond my control) i have, things that have happened to me, times when I wanted his help but I got silence, stuff like that.

& i know 😦
 
I remember a priest at a retreat day explaining that if you are angry at God, then go before Him and explain, respectfully, why you are angry. Then, quietly listen to Him. A lot of the Psalms are written that way.

We are weak and can have such feelings, but deep down we know that the Lord has done far more for us than we can imagine. Our loving God is never at fault.

In Jesus and Mary,

Dorothy
How do you listen to him?
 
I don’t want to. But during mass today, I couldn’t even try to want to pay attention (does this even make any sense)

Usually I can still pray but I can’t even get myself to pray nowadays. And when I do, I’m better off not praying (basically I’m being extremely rude to him). I feel as if he has let me down. And now I’m doing the same to him.

Ugh. A priest from my church once said that it was okay to be angry at God and he doesn’t mind you venting towards him. But I’m feeling like he is just rubbing his hands together and is waiting to throw me into hell right now. Lol.

Is this normal?
I think it comes from distrust. The feelings you have about God letting you down and wanting to throw you into hell, are not accurate. Maybe it could help to acknowledge that to start with? 🙂
 
I think it comes from distrust. The feelings you have about God letting you down and wanting to throw you into hell, are not accurate. Maybe it could help to acknowledge that to start with? 🙂
I would really love to have a conversation with God about this :rolleyes:

I don’t know how to acknowledge that, which might be the problem. He is so silent and i never get answers through prayer, so it only makes me angry whenever I try to make an effort. If that makes sense?
In my mind there are 3 options
-he cares about some people more than others (which is where I’m at right now)
-he is playing a sick joke on me and something amazing is right around the corner
-he doesn’t exist

:bighanky:
 
I don’t want to. But during mass today, I couldn’t even try to want to pay attention (does this even make any sense)

Usually I can still pray but I can’t even get myself to pray nowadays. And when I do, I’m better off not praying (basically I’m being extremely rude to him). I feel as if he has let me down. And now I’m doing the same to him.

Ugh. A priest from my church once said that it was okay to be angry at God and he doesn’t mind you venting towards him. But I’m feeling like he is just rubbing his hands together and is waiting to throw me into hell right now. Lol.

Is this normal?
God does not let anyone down but we can let him down.
 
I would really love to have a conversation with God about this :rolleyes:

I don’t know how to acknowledge that, which might be the problem. He is so silent and i never get answers through prayer, so it only makes me angry whenever I try to make an effort. If that makes sense?
In my mind there are 3 options
-he cares about some people more than others (which is where I’m at right now)
-he is playing a sick joke on me and something amazing is right around the corner
-he doesn’t exist

:bighanky:
He is not silent. He speaks to us through His word. Through the help of others. Through our humble trust in Him.
You are expecting what? That life will suddenly be easy? No; not necessarily. There is that prayer by Frances de Sales… “He will either shield you from harm or give you unfailing strength to bear it.”
You are expecting a sudden heavenly physical voice?
No; but an awareness when YOU stop shouting.

No He cares about us all equally. Other people do not; He does.
 
I’ve definitely felt God being silent before… It is very painful 😦 at those times what helped me were things He told the Saints or mystics that were meant not just for them, but for each soul. He spoke to them in order to speak to us 🙂 I would spend a while reading such things and then talk to Him. Later I saw that I wasn’t really opening up. We do need grace for this and we can seek this grace. Making acts of love and trust during those dark times, just in the will, without feelings, goes a long way. Sometimes its hard to do that and I recommend then going to Our Lady. This is just based on my experience because i sometimes go through times of not feeling God there at all.

“Give Me your heart, the heart which creatures do not know and which they slight, it is more than a universe to Me, because I love you” (Jesus’ words to Sr Mary of the Trinity, but His love is so great towards each soul!)

“Tell Me all my child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving heart, the heart of your best friend, is listening to you” (Jesus to St Faustina, according to my memory so I hope its right)

Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis from the book He and I. He told her that He speaks to some souls to reach the others 🙂 He says the same to each:

December 19, 1946
“Don’t be afraid to discover how little it takes to touch Me. I am the sensitive One and you can never know how your gestures make music in My heart. Be afraid of hurting Me. Always try to give Me joy and above all don’t imagine Me to be far off. You realize that I am in you, don’t you? And if you do, why don’t you think of Me more often? I was going to say, always. Then My longing for you, would be completely satisfied. I am the same for all people. They are all My children. I long for every one of them. So, in offering yourself offer the others to Me with My joy in mind.”

April 26, 1945 - ‘Lord, Your poor little girl, Your poor image is here before you, yearning for You with all the strength of her being.’
“Have you noticed how people talk among themselves, discussing all their personal affairs? They spend so much time this way and it does them so little good. Don’t you think that if they gave themselves to Me, their Friend, I should rejoice to have My place in their thoughts and I should know how to reward their confidence in abundance? Don’t you think that it would create a moment-to-moment intimacy between them and Me, and this would be a joy for them, because close to Me their lives would lose their tension.
You understand? It would be life together with Me- I carrying the heavy end of things. So again I say: speak with Me, My little ones. Speak with Me. And our hearts will Merge. Isn’t this the aim of My Christians? Isn’t that why you want to die? Then begin living this heart-oneness. Seize upon every opportunity. Find every pretext. You aren’t bold enough. For some of you it is because you are indifferent.
But My close friends, why, why don’t they call to Me from their heart’s depths? If only their belief were less like unbelief! If their hope were fixed upon My help … And if, in all simplicity, their love loved Me more. I should be there looking after everything in their day, and when night fell, their eyes would close again on My face.”

March 21, 1946 -Holy hour
“All night long I waited for you in My Eucharist -waited to give Myself to you in the morning. Why should this astonish you? You believe in My presence and a tabernacle, don’t you? You believe in My immense love? Then put the two together. And when you wake up during the night, look at the One who is already longing for the dawn to bring you to Him. This will quicken your love and give you confidence in My power. Let Me profit by the days of your life, they are not many. Prolong Me in them as much as you can don’t let a day go by without doing something for Me, for there is not a single day that I am not at work, you for your own happiness. Do you believe Me?”
‘Yes Lord’
"Then humble yourself for not having responded better to all the loving kindness of your Creator. You know how I love to forgive? You know how your confidence attracts My compassion? Your trust can win anything from My heart. Count on Me. Call Me. Don’t you love your name? I love to hear Mine on your lips. Don’t deprive Me."

February 14, 1947 -in a moment of sadness
“Remember that I traveled all of your roads”.
“If you want to gain strength to make a sacrifice, don’t look at the sacrifice. Look at My joy.”
“Don’t you realize that I have been waiting a long, long time for you? No two souls are alike. None other can give Me what I expect from you.”
 
March 6, 1947
"Each soul is the object of My special love. That is why I am so grateful to those who are resourceful and bringing back sinners to Me. Keep this in mind then. I gave My life for them in the most atrocious torture, for these poor beloved ones. A humble repentance, and they are already on My heart. So speak gently to them. Speak with tenderness. A brusque remark could drive them farther away.

…be calm in your soul, and happily docile to My will. As you look back over your life, don’t you see that My will was always for your good? This is because I love you, and it’s the same for everyone, since I love each of you individually. I see you all differently; I see every detail about you, do you understand? My love is not of global love.
I need each one of you as though you were the only person in the world, as though the cosmos had been created for you alone, and My love is greater than the cosmos. So let this thought be a strength to you and your smiling calm.

November 4, 1948
“I knock at your door. You don’t believe that I need my children, do you? An yet, My God-Love needs your love. That is how it is. Always. You remember My words, ‘I thirst’? I am always thirsty. If you knew this thirst, more intense than the thirst of men, you would devise every means in your power to quench it. That is why I knock at your door.

Do you remember the heat of the Sahara? The desert burns less than I. Can you understand My thirst for your awareness of Me, for your desire to be pleasing to Me, for your gratitude for My pitiable sufferings, your compassion for all the disgrace, the filth and the hatred I received during the night before My crucifixion and on the morning of My death? And for the blows, and the torture of My body and mind. Do you sometimes think of it?"

This is the Heart of Our Lord 🙂 I shared these quotes which are just a small part of the book, to just give an example of it. It has an Imprimatur from a Bishop. Here’s the source of the quotes and more about the mystic Gabrielle: mysticsofthechurch.com/2009/11/gabrielle-bossis-he-and-i.html?m=1

Reading such things like this book has really brought me and many others closer to Jesus. I just find that reading about His love often helps to open up. Its even more effective when its the words of Jesus Himself. And it is meant for us too, not just the mystic 🙂 just meditating on God’s love, with the help of some words, and then talking to Him honestly, can help to open the heart to Him. Just remember that He wants this 🙂 He is not indifferent towards you, nor angry. He is also not playing a “sick joke” on you.

The reality as we see here is that He really longs for your heart, out of love, to bring you the graces, holiness and happiness that He has prepared for you from eternity.
 
ACT OF HOPE AND CONFIDENCE IN GOD
St. Claude de la Colombiere

My God, I believe most firmly that You watch over all who hope in You,
and that we can want for nothing when we rely upon You in all things.
Therefore I am resolved for the future…to cast all my cares upon You…
People may deprive me of worldly goods and status.
Sickness may take from me my strength and the means of serving You.
I may even jeopardize our relationship by sin, but my trust shall never leave me.
I will preserve it to the last moment of my life, and the powers of hell shall seek in vain
to grab it from me.
Let others seek happiness in their wealth and in their talents. Let them trust in the purity of their lives, the severity of their mortifications, in the number of their good works, the enthusiasm of their prayers,
as for me, my Rock and my Refuge, my confidence in you fills me with hope. For You, my Divine Protector, alone have settled me in hope.
“This confidence can never be vain. No one, who has hoped in God, has ever been confounded.”
I am assured, therefore, of my eternal happiness, for I firmly hope in it and all my hope is in You. “In You, O loving God, have I hoped: let me never be confounded.”
I know too well that I am weak and changeable. I know the power of temptation against the strongest virtue.
I have seen stars fall and foundations of my world crack; these things do not alarm me. While I hope in You, I am sheltered from all misfortune, and I am sure that my trust shall endure, for I rely upon You to sustain this unfailing hope.
Finally, I know that my confidence cannot exceed Your generosity, and that I shall never receive less
than I have hoped for from You. Therefore I hope that You will sustain me against my evil inclinations,
that You will protect me against the deceitful attacks of the evil one, and that You will cause my weakness
to triumph over every hostile force. I hope that You will never cease to love me and that I shall love You unceasingly.
“In You, O loving God, have I hoped: let me never be confounded.”

piercedhearts.org/treasures/devotions/to_saints/claude_colombiere.htm
 
I think we should fear offending God, but not fear God Himself

Fear of God I think means fearing offending Him
 
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