I keep obsessing over my first confession

[Maximus_88]

Almost a month ago I had my first confession, and I can’t help but think it was sacrilegious. For instance, I confessed to getting drunk every weekend in college but then I didn’t confess to drinking a bottle of wine every Saturday night two summers ago when I was on a huge wine kick. I don’t remember if I withheld this intentionally. I would like to think that I didn’t, but I keep torturing myself. I keep going back to the week before my confession to forensically try to decide what I was thinking at the time. I guess during my examination of conscience, I focused on the worst possible things that I did. Granted, drinking too much is a grave matter I get it. But in these two instances the contexts were different. In college I would get into fights, and feel so depressed that I would break down into tears. While at home I would just watch Netflix and go to bed with nothing else to it. Is the fact that I have to keep going over this over and over again an indication that maybe I didn’t commit sacrilege after all?

 

[Sunflake9]

You were forgivien for them all if you just forgot to mention them. Just be sure to write them down and bring them up during your next confession. You’ve done the hard part by having your first one. Don’t worry too much.

 

[felsguy]

Friend Maximus,

I don’t intend to keep hounding you, but you really should raise these issues only with your priest, as you indicated you plan to do, so he can help you deal with your scrupulosity. Individuals who are afflicted with scrupulosity are usually trying their very best to live as Jesus wants, just like you, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of but it is very difficult to overcome by one’s self. Do follow through with your priest as you intended and soon.

Prayers
Felsguy

 

[smichhertz]

Almost a month ago I had my first confession, and I can’t help but think it was sacrilegious. For instance, I confessed to getting drunk every weekend in college but then I didn’t confess to drinking a bottle of wine every Saturday night two summers ago when I was on a huge wine kick. I don’t remember if I withheld this intentionally. I would like to think that I didn’t, but I keep torturing myself. I keep going back to the week before my confession to forensically try to decide what I was thinking at the time. I guess during my examination of conscience, I focused on the worst possible things that I did. Granted, drinking too much is a grave matter I get it. But in these two instances the contexts were different. In college I would get into fights, and feel so depressed that I would break down into tears. While at home I would just watch Netflix and go to bed with nothing else to it. Is the fact that I have to keep going over this over and over again an indication that maybe I didn’t commit sacrilege after all?

Hi Maximus88,

Take a deep breath. You’ve made a good confession. There’s no need to go to this much detail when you’re giving your first confession. You’ve got a lot of years to account for, plus, at the time, your conscience may not have been properly informed, thus lessening your culpability so that they may not have been mortal sins in your case.

Just simply stating - “I abused alcohol extremely often in college. Probably around 2-3 times a week, but it’s hard to know for sure.” Is more than sufficient. Yes, it’s true that you have to confess mortal sins in kind and number, but that doesn’t mean it has to be specific to account for every instance over the course of many years of your life. Simply giving your best guess as the time of confession is completely fine. And if later you discover you forgot something, that’s not sacrilege and those sins are still forgiven.

So I would say you are fine and you can continue to receive communion. If it continues to trouble you feel free to simply go to confession again. But be specific - first state the sins since your previous confession and then note that you already have been to confession but forgot these sins so you’re confessing them as well simply for peace of conscience.

Again, I don’t think you need to go to confession and you made a good confession. Be at peace and know that God loves you!