I know I made a mistake...looking for encouragement to rectify the situation

[jlyn1110]

I could really use some support. I fulfilled my obligations to the RCIA process and became Catholic during the '08 Easter Vigil. Here’s the problem…

I met with the priest for Confession on that Wednesday and completely choked. I did not feel well-prepared for this sacrament by the RCIA coordinators, and being face-to-face with the priest made me really, really nervous. I ended up leaving without confessing some pretty juicy stuff about previous dating relationships. It wasn’t like I forgot about it either; I was sitting there, saying to myself, “jlyn, you should really mention…”

So I need to go to Confession. Sooner rather than later. But I’m so nervous that I’ll intentionally leave stuff out again. Does anyone have tips for making sure you confess those less-than-flattering “big ticket” items?

 

[Sheeniac]

We have the old style confessional rooms. There is a small screen between Father and myself, and the little room I am in is lit.

I right down the important things I wish to confess and go through them all. It makes it a little easier.

 

[historybrat]

First of all welcome to the Church. I only converted a year ago so I’m not an expert but here’s what I would recommend:

1. If you were baptized at Easter you are forgiven all your sins before that. If the sin happened before that I wouldn’t worry about it. God already forgave you.
2. Pray to Holy Spririt. I sometimes get really nervous and I have found that when I pray for help I always get it.
3. Some people might disagree with this but write everything down that you want to say. I use to forget a lot, and sometimes still do, what it was that I wanted to confess. Mine is more like I know what I want to say and then when I get in the confessional I totally blank. Having that paper helps me focus on what it is I need to confess. It also helps calm me down.
4. The last thing that I can think of is to confess behind a screen. I get really nervous face to face and prefer not to confess that way. I get too nervous when I can see the priest.

Best of luck,
Historybrat

 

[kimaz]

I second (or third) writing down the most important sins on paper…helps me, because I do get very nervous. I also pray the Sorrowful Mysteries on the Rosary beforehand.

But I think I’m the opposite of a lot of people…I prefer to confess face to face with the priest. For some reason it makes me feel more comfortable.

 

[porthos11]

I could really use some support. I fulfilled my obligations to the RCIA process and became Catholic during the '08 Easter Vigil. Here’s the problem…

I met with the priest for Confession on that Wednesday and completely choked. I did not feel well-prepared for this sacrament by the RCIA coordinators, and being face-to-face with the priest made me really, really nervous. I ended up leaving without confessing some pretty juicy stuff about previous dating relationships. It wasn’t like I forgot about it either; I was sitting there, saying to myself, “jlyn, you should really mention…”

So I need to go to Confession. Sooner rather than later. But I’m so nervous that I’ll intentionally leave stuff out again. Does anyone have tips for making sure you confess those less-than-flattering “big ticket” items?

One thing that is always suggested is to confess the most embarrassing or difficult sins first. That gets them out of the way.

I also second the suggestion that if you can find a confessional with a screen, that might help as well.

 

[nannygirl]

I always write things down, too. I also have my little copy of “A Practical Guide for the Sacrament of Confession”. I have never been able to memorize things, so it helps. I don’t think I could ever do Confession without a screen.

 

[cecilia97]

We have the old style confessional rooms. There is a small screen between Father and myself, and the little room I am in is lit.

I right down the important things I wish to confess and go through them all. It makes it a little easier.

A list is the best! I get flustered in the Confessional so a written list is about the only way I can remember everything. Just make sure to destroy it after.

 

[graceandglory]

I also second the suggestion that if you can find a confessional with a screen, that might help as well.

I heard on EWTN radio yesterday that it’s against Canon Law for a priest to hear confessions in a room with a woman penitent.

(Fr. Corapi, I think)

Is that really so? I would feel so relieved.

 

[porthos11]

I heard on EWTN radio yesterday that it’s against Canon Law for a priest to hear confessions in a room with a woman penitent.

(Fr. Corapi, I think)

Is that really so? I would feel so relieved.

There is no such stipulation. Confession with a screen has always been the right of a penitent.

Anyone who makes such a claim must back it up with the proper citation.

Canon Law, in fact, requires the Confessional as the norm, and confessions are to be heard outside it only for a just reason. Being a woman hardly qualifies as a “just reason”.

 

[brigid12]

One thing that is always suggested is to confess the most embarrassing or difficult sins first. That gets them out of the way.

I also second the suggestion that if you can find a confessional with a screen, that might help as well.

I agree with both suggestions. I would also agree with writing a list, but don’t start to depend totally on it or on reading the Act of Contrition. I did that and have been in a couple confessionals that had no light! I think too, that I could really feel the contrition better when I’d memorized it. I know that we don’t want to depend on feeling and I also know that my tendency is to be able to interiorize the contrition better if it’s interior. 'Course, having to memorize it the first few times you go to confession is certainly not what I have in mind. I’d just work on memorizing it little by little.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I could really use some support. I fulfilled my obligations to the RCIA process and became Catholic during the '08 Easter Vigil. Here’s the problem…

I met with the priest for Confession on that Wednesday and completely choked. I did not feel well-prepared for this sacrament by the RCIA coordinators, and being face-to-face with the priest made me really, really nervous. I ended up leaving without confessing some pretty juicy stuff about previous dating relationships. It wasn’t like I forgot about it either; I was sitting there, saying to myself, “jlyn, you should really mention…”

So I need to go to Confession. Sooner rather than later. But I’m so nervous that I’ll intentionally leave stuff out again. Does anyone have tips for making sure you confess those less-than-flattering “big ticket” items?

1. Don’t go face-to-face, use the screen!
2. Don’t go to a priest you know!

That is until you are confortable with the Sacrament.

 

[elts1956]

1. Don’t go face-to-face, use the screen!
2. Don’t go to a priest you know!

That is until you are confortable with the Sacrament.

Hello. After reading several of these posts, the thought came to my mind that many of us are too used to seeing the priest as judge and jury. Admitedly, facing another person, whether it be on the opposite side of a screen, or face to face and “fessing up” can be intimidating and embarrassing. Hopefully, we can also see the priest as a very special guide back to unity with Christ and not a stern arbitrator of justice and giver of penalties.

 

[scylla]

You have every right to an anonymous confession, you are confessing to Jesus and submitting in humility to confess with your mouth. The Bible says to confess sins to one another and the Priest forgives you, yet you do have the freedom to use a screen and use all the tools the Church gives you to make an honest confession.

In Christ
Scylla

 

[Claire_from_DE]

You should tell the priest what you have written here about your first confession. You need to confess all the serious sins you remember but I’m sure this has happened to other people and he has heard it all before. You don’t have to go into a lot of detail about the juicy stuff. In future, tell the worst things first. I also think it’s easier to go face to face.