I made a vow of chastity but I can't keep it ,need help

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willymonfrete

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I made a private vow to God of chastity for 25 yrs,I did this because I was on a rollercoaster of wether I should join a monastery or not,I broke the vow 2wice.

I wanted to ask,I heard the pope can repudiate a vow.should I contact the pope through a letter explaining my situation ?
 
Are all Catholics called to chastity anyway? Instead of trying to get out of the vow, maybe you should focus on how to overcome the temptation to sin?
 
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Pray that you might find a loving partner.
 
willymonfrete said:
I made a private vow to God of chastity for 25 yrs,I did this because I was on a rollercoaster of wether I should join a monastery or not,I broke the vow 2wice.

I wanted to ask,I heard the pope can repudiate a vow.should I contact the pope through a letter explaining my situation ?
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Do you really mean chastity or continence?

Chastity is expected of all Catholics, married or single, although the form it takes is different.

Married chastity takes the form of being faithful to your spouse. Single chastity means being abstinent from sex. Being abstinent also means being continent.

I don’t think you need to contact the Pope for a private vow.
 
You vowed chastity, not celibacy. Just forget about it and get married, assuming your stupidity hasn’t made you a danger to you wife (infected).
 
steve93 said:
You vowed chastity, not celibacy. Just forget about it and get married, assuming your stupidity hasn’t made you a danger to you wife (infected).
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Well, I guess we all could be guilty of stupidity, since any sin is stupid. I would have simply said “assuming you haven’t contracted an infection”, rather than using an insulting word. I assume he feels bad enough.
 
CB_Catholic said:
Well, I guess we all could be guilty of stupidity, since any sin is stupid. I would have simply said “assuming you haven’t contracted an infection”, rather than using an insulting word. I assume he feels bad enough.
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Look, I have sinned plenty. but I have never had sex and I have never been drunk. There is something to be said for simplistic will power.
 
steve93 said:
Look, I have sinned plenty. but I have never had sex and I have never been drunk. There is something to be said for simplistic will power.
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I can’t imagine why some woman hasn’t dragged you to bed yet, what with that silky smooth charm of yours. :rolleyes:

Look, on a serious note, it’s great that you have avoided these particular sins, but everyone is different. Some people struggle with chastity. Everyone’s cross to bear is different. Maybe don’t be so abrasive.
 
willymonfrete said:
I made a private vow to God of chastity for 25 yrs,I did this because I was on a rollercoaster of wether I should join a monastery or not,I broke the vow 2wice.

I wanted to ask,I heard the pope can repudiate a vow.should I contact the pope through a letter explaining my situation ?
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Please do not write to the Pope about this matter.

The pastor of any parish can resolve this matter.

*Can. 1196 In addition to the Roman Pontiff, the following can dispense from private vows for a just cause provided that a dispensation does not injure a right acquired by others:

1/ the local ordinary and the pastor with regard to all their subjects and even travelers;

2/ the superior of a religious institute or society of apostolic life if it is clerical and of pontifical right with regard to members, novices, and persons who live day and night in a house of the institute or society;

3/ those to whom the Apostolic See or the local ordinary has delegated the power of dispensing.*
 
steve93 said:
You vowed chastity, not celibacy. Just forget about it and get married, assuming your stupidity hasn’t made you a danger to you wife (infected).
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No.

There is a procedure in Canon Law to deal with dispensation of private vows, through the hierarchy.

Why are you, as an Orthodox, replying in this fashion? It is not respectful of Catholic praxis and is as discourteous as it would be for one who is Catholic to tell one who is Orthodox to disregard their hierarchy.
 
Hi guys,after mass I asked the priest about this vow,he said its not valid because it wasnt done in the presence of any episcopal authority or in a church etc

he said I could still write the pope but its not neccassery and one day we can talk about it privately and pray over it.

thanks for your advices,God Bless

and yes I am struggling with chastity.Im actually seeing a married muslim woman and she wants my kids.I pray to
god to give me the grace to avoid this temptation but Ive known her for 5 yrs as a friend and we developed a strong bond and she fell in love with me and vice-versa but she says I dont truly love her if I dont make kids with her.shes not married from a church pov because shes a second wife in a polygamous relationship.shes salafi.nevertheless fornication is wrong but she keeps pushing me.she said if i dont fornicate with her she wants my sperm artificially to make children.

meanwhile my friends have assured me I can find a good catholic wife and have a legitimate means of sex one day.

everyone has a different struggle,I ask the holy spirit to protect me from sin and when I fall into it I immediately ask the father of mercy for his forgiveness,not as licence but because I mess up some times.
 
Sarcelle said:
Do you really mean chastity or continence?

Chastity is expected of all Catholics, married or single, although the form it takes is different.

Married chastity takes the form of being faithful to your spouse. Single chastity means being abstinent from sex. Being abstinent also means being continent.

I don’t think you need to contact the Pope for a private vow.
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my priest said I dont need to contact the pope,it was continence.
 
It makes me sad, too.

How fortunate we are to live in a world after 1964.
 
willymonfrete said:
and yes I am struggling with chastity.Im actually seeing a married muslim woman and she wants my kids.I pray to
god to give me the grace to avoid this temptation but Ive known her for 5 yrs as a friend and we developed a strong bond and she fell in love with me and vice-versa but she says I dont truly love her if I dont make kids with her.shes not married from a church pov because shes a second wife in a polygamous relationship.shes salafi.nevertheless fornication is wrong but she keeps pushing me.she said if i dont fornicate with her she wants my sperm artificially to make children.

.
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Even excluding the dangers of temptation to sin, RUN, DON’T WALK! This lady sounds like a kook! Nothing good is going to come from being in a relationship with someone exhibiting the kind of behavior you are describing.
 
Allegra said:
Even excluding the dangers of temptation to sin, RUN, DON’T WALK! This lady sounds like a kook! Nothing good is going to come from being in a relationship with someone exhibiting the kind of behavior you are describing.
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Yeah, I totally missed this part. Yikes.

OP, get away from this woman. She’s manipulating you and she sounds like she’s full blown insane. Cut all ties.
 
  1. Ask your priest to release you from your private vow.
  2. Stay far away from this woman who wants you to commit adultery, unnatural means of conception and other sins.
  3. Ask your priest for advice to avoid these temptations. This relationship will cut you off from a good relationship with God and will lead you to misery both in this life and in eternity.
  4. Make a good confession and resolve to stay away from these sins and temptations. Go to Confession and pray the Rosary on a regular basis.
  5. We have all sinned in some way. I do not look down on you nor judge you because I have my own set of sins and temptations. In fact, I commend you for having the courage to tell your situation on the Internet.
Try to avoid a relationship with someone who isn’t Catholic nor Christian. I imagine it would be very challenging to make a Muslim/Catholic marriage work. You would most likely be pressured to renounce your precious Catholic Faith.

Steer clear of manipulative people who say, " If you loved me, you would do or commit this act/sin for me".
Best wishes. We will pray for you. Thanks for posting.
 
jaimeleglise said:
  1. Ask your priest to release you from your private vow.
  2. Stay far away from this woman who wants you to commit adultery, unnatural means of conception and other sins.
  3. Ask your priest for advice to avoid these temptations. This relationship will cut you off from a good relationship with God and will lead you to misery both in this life and in eternity.
  4. Make a good confession and resolve to stay away from these sins and temptations. Go to Confession and pray the Rosary on a regular basis.
  5. We have all sinned in some way. I do not look down on you nor judge you because I have my own set of sins and temptations. In fact, I commend you for having the courage to tell your situation on the Internet.
Try to avoid a relationship with someone who isn’t Catholic nor Christian. I imagine it would be very challenging to make a Muslim/Catholic marriage work. You would most likely be pressured to renounce your precious Catholic Faith.

Steer clear of manipulative people who say, " If you loved me, you would do or commit this act/sin for me".
Best wishes. We will pray for you. Thanks for posting.
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You’re right,I’m going to call her today and cut it off with her.I should try and find a good catholic wife,its just so hard these days and for me right now.

she has asked me numerous times to become muslim,I tell her everytime not gonna happen.
 
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