I may have really messed up

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marthagreys

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After leaving the Church for a while, I returned a little over a year ago, but have basically felt like I was just “going through the motions” rather than really “being” Catholic. A couple of weeks ago, I had an incredible experience during Eucharistic Adoration where I felt so much that I had really touched Heaven. The only thing I’ve wanted since then was to get into the confessional, get squared away, and start over. Due to my work schedule, it’s not possible to go to confession at the weekly scheduled time, and my priest is rarely available for “curbside confession.” Every day, for more than a week, I prayed a rosary that I would get the opportunity to go to confession. Imagine how I felt when a co-worker called me late Friday night asking me to switch shifts the next day, which allowed me to go to confession. I could hardly sleep that night, I was so much looking forward to getting sqared away and beginning anew. I made what was probably the best confession of my life. The problem is that trading these shifts meant I couldn’t attend Mass at all over the weekend. A friend said that missing Mass like this was a mortal sin and that I cannot receive communion until I’ve gone to confession again. I’m just heartsick. Is she right?
 
For something to be a mortal sin, three things must absolutely be there … not one or two, but all three:
  1. It must be serious.
  2. You must know it’s serious.
  3. You must do it deliberately. [as for example, the weather was fine, the distance is close enough, but you deliberately chose to skip Mass and sleep in.]
From what you have said, all three were not present. You did not deliberately miss Mass.

When I was in Catholic school many years ago, they used to present us with many such dilemmas such as you presented. [The old Baltimore Catechism.] There are a lot of people who have to work on weekends. They used to use the example of railroad train engineers. But it could equally apply to people who work in hospitals. Or airline crews. Or folks in the military. Or firefighters or police. Sometimes military or police would stop in at the back of the Church during Sunday Mass. But they had to keep alert in case they got an emergency call.

I remember reading in a newspaper that one airline pilot often missed Sunday Mass. But he kept in his briefcase the Mass schedules of every church near every airport that he flew into. And he would go to whatever Mass he could, as often as he could. The really funny thing: eventually he quit the airline and became a priest.

If you’re off duty during the week, see if you can get to a daily Mass. And if will make you feel better, if you get the opportunity, linger afterwards and see if you can have a “curbside” confession with the priest after daily Mass.

It sounds to me like you are extremely devout and are making your absolute best effort to juggle a difficult schedule.

I’ll add you to my prayer partner list … a chain of little yellow stickies extending down the side of my computer screen. [And you add me to your prayer partner list.]
 
It would really be awesome to have Catholic prayer partners. I’ll take ya’ up on that.
 
marthagreys, I am so happy for you! God has reached out His hand and brought you home to Him. Thanks be to God!
 
I’ve seen this a couple of times in the Apologetics section. Michelle Arnold says it here. –
Your Sunday obligation is only fulfilled on Sunday or on the Saturday afternoon or evening before. However, if you are honestly unable for just cause to attend church after noon on Saturday or on Sunday, you are dispensed from the Sunday obligation. So, no, you cannot fulfill your Sunday obligation on Monday; but if your job prevents you from attending Mass after noon on Saturday or on Sunday, you are dispensed from the obligation.
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Welcome back. 🙂
 
I’m so happy for you and that you have had such a joyful renewal in your relationship with Christ and His Church!

Virtual hugs!
 
I think what upsets me about this so much is that I felt so strongly that this opportunity for reconciliation was a gift being handed to me straight from heaven itself. It seemed like a direct answer from the Blessed Virgin, and an invitation from Christ. It never occured to me that this opportunity was anything other than a much wanted answer to heartfelt prayer. Now I’m really questioning my discernment.
 
marthagreys said:
I think what upsets me about this so much is that I felt so strongly that this opportunity for reconciliation was a gift being handed to me straight from heaven itself. It seemed like a direct answer from the Blessed Virgin, and an invitation from Christ. It never occured to me that this opportunity was anything other than a much wanted answer to heartfelt prayer. Now I’m really questioning my discernment.
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Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Did you realise at the time that a) by accepting the change you wouldn’t be able to go to Mass and b) that missing Mass is a mortal sin?
 
marthagreys said:
I think what upsets me about this so much is that I felt so strongly that this opportunity for reconciliation was a gift being handed to me straight from heaven itself. It seemed like a direct answer from the Blessed Virgin, and an invitation from Christ. It never occured to me that this opportunity was anything other than a much wanted answer to heartfelt prayer. Now I’m really questioning my discernment.
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Martha, only God would send us the grace to desire confession as strongly as you did. Have faith. And don’t beat yourself up about missing Mass. What you described does not sound like a mortal sin to me.
 
Don’t be so hard on yourself! God gave you the grace to desire to make a good confession and the opportunity to do so by switching shifts. It’s not as if you switched shifts in order to get out of going to Mass; that would have been a sin, but what you did was not. Welcome home! :grouphug:
 
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